


The Darcyland Chronicles

by Starrynyte



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Adorable Steve Rogers, All The Tropes, Avengers Family, BAMF Darcy Lewis, Big Brother Clint Barton, Big Sister Natasha Romanov, Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Compliant, Cliffhangers, Darcy is a princess, Darcy is the linchpin, Darcy knows everyone, Everyone loves Darcy, F/M, Irreverent Darcy, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Psychological Warfare, Rebirth, Secret Relationship, Social Media, This is a super long fic, basically everyone - Freeform, mostly - Freeform, please bear with me
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-15
Updated: 2017-08-23
Packaged: 2018-10-05 13:47:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 80,717
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10309490
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Starrynyte/pseuds/Starrynyte
Summary: Darcy Lewis was the Avengers' best kept secret. Over the years she has been more involved with the heroes and their shenanigans than the world has been led to believe. She just was always in the shadows. She preferred it that way. But she preferred her giant, crazy family all together again even more, especially since she received the all-clear from the big one in charge. So that's why nearly three months after the disaster of the Accords, Helmut Zemo's crazy, revenge-driven cousin wants to talk to Steve Rogers and Co. face to face.





	1. Monologuing is so 1960's

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, this is my first fanfic on this site and the first in the Marvel Universe. I don't mind constructive criticism, but please be kind. This fic is going to be very long if I actually stick with it and write everything I have planned.
> 
> On that note, you have no idea how long this has been in my head. (Pretty much since a week after CA:CW came out. I just didn't think it'd stay in my head so long.)
> 
> Unfortunately nothing belongs to me. If only...
> 
> Even so I hope you all enjoy!

The video was sent eighty-four days after Steve and Bucky left Tony in Siberia. It was given to every major news channel worldwide and streamed on Youtube and various social media sites. The creator of the video wanted to make sure that no matter where the rogue Avengers were hiding, they saw it, as well as everyone else in the world.

 

During that time, King T’Challa had given his former enemies asylum in Wakanda while also quietly assisting Steve Rogers, Clint Barton, Sam Wilson, Scott Lang, and Wanda Maximoff with any emergencies where they were needed, despite the danger of being caught and sent to prison because of the Accords.

 

While they all used this time to grow closer to each other, Clint and Scott had bonded quickly over their families - their love and their worry - and would brag to each other after their bi-weekly check in. Neither of them had been able to return to the States for any length of time, nor had they been able to see their families, but they had been assured from the start that they were safe. The Bartons had left their farm and were in another secure safe house while Scott’s ex-wife, Maggie, Paxton, and his daughter Cassie went to stay with the Pyms, as they were powerful enough to shield them from Ross and any public backlash. Sam’s only remaining family was his mother, but apparently Nick Fury had taken it upon himself to relocated Darlene Wilson to a safe house that just so happened to have a secure line that could be used to call her vigilante son.

 

Wanda had been the most affected by the Accords and her stay on the Raft, but with the four men she looked up to as older brothers - and even a bit as father figures - she was healing from her ordeal.

 

Natasha had checked in with them multiple times in Wakanda, the first time having brought all of their confiscated gear and uniforms. How she got a hold of them she didn’t say, but they were all thankful. For the most part, Natasha had been out in the world working on finding the remaining triggers for the Winter Soldier. She had remained tight-lipped about where she was getting her leads from, but every time she received a text from a blocked number, she would leave only to return a couple days later, usually with a victorious air about her.

 

It was because of her unrelenting work that it only took two months to track down every handler the Winter Soldier ever had and find the trigger words. Apparently she had been working on it before the Avengers fallout, but had been too busy to give her full attention to it. When Bucky was taken out of cryofreeze, the Wakandan doctors induced him into a medical coma he could be partially awakened from a few hours each day. It produced an almost hypnotized state of mind where the Hydra triggers could finally be erased. Steve had barely seen Bucky in the two weeks he’d been out. Instead, Bucky was being led by Natasha and Clint to break through the programming with Sam’s support and the help of the Wakandan doctors.

 

Everything was going well enough for the outlaws. They had even made plans to bring their loved ones to Wakanda for an extended visit the following week.

 

And then one evening, eighty-four days after all hell broke loose, they were finishing their dinner when King T’Challa summoned them to the conference room they had appropriated and turned into the “War Room”. He turned on the large screen that covered nearly an entire wall to an American news station.

 

The newswoman had a strained face and was fidgeting with the papers in front of her. “We will play the video again every fifteen minutes to make sure the message is received by Steve Rogers and his allies,” she said.

 

The screen cut to display a caucasian man in his early thirties with light brown hair and brown eyes.

 

“Hello. My name is Hammond Zemo,” he said calmly in a Sokovian accent. “My cousin, Helmut Zemo, is the one responsible for the UN bombing three months ago in an attempt to tear the Avengers apart. I suppose he succeeded in his goal, but I had always found his plan to be...insufficient.” Hammond blinked in a bored manner.

 

“This message is for the Avengers, most especially Steven Grant Rogers. At Noon, Eastern Standard Time, I will log onto a live chatroom website I have created for this sole purpose called ‘Epiphany’. You, Rogers, will also log on and we will talk face to face. If you do not, I will set off the bombs I have planted over the last three months in major cities all over the world, one by one.” Hammond paused to let that sink in. “You can try to trace the origin of this message, but you will fail. You can try to trace my location during our chat, but I have taken many steps to ensure that will be near impossible. Your best hacker will not be able to find the correct path among the many trails I have laid down,” Hammond said in a relaxed manner that let the avengers know he was not overconfident in his belief.

 

“The authorities do not have enough time to search everywhere,” he continued. “They could be in a school, in a business, a government building, a hospital, attached to a major gas pipe...The possibilities are endless. Oh, I could be bluffing,” he said lightly, “but you will not think so after I set off the first bomb, which I will do if you are even one minute late,” he said sternly, his calm mask finally breaking and glaring at the audience. “For every minute you are late, I will set off a bomb. If anyone else attempts to chat with me, I will set off a bomb. If the stream is interrupted by any party, I will set off a bomb. Do you understand me, Avengers? I want to talk to Steve Rogers most of all, but any other hero with him should attend the video chat as well. Each and every one of the Avengers, past and present, has a vested interest in this matter. Most importantly, I invite anyone and everyone to stream the live conversation on any device available. You will not want to miss this.” Hammond’s lips twitched into a grim smirk. “Don’t be late.”

 

The feed switched back to the newsroom where the anchormen and women were discussing the possible outcomes.

 

“Mute,” said T’Challa, and the audio cut off. He turned to look at the seated Avengers. T’Challa and Steve were sitting at opposite ends of the long table with Natasha, Sam, and Scott on one side and Clint, Wanda, and Bucky on the other. “What do you think?” he asked Steve.

 

Steve took a moment to answer. “I have no idea what Zemo could want. He’s holding the lives of thousands, possibly millions of people over our heads, all for the chance to talk?”

 

Natasha folded her hands on the table. “We need to think of this rationally. Zemo said that we can’t trace him. Everyone can be tracked eventually, but it takes time, which leads me to believe that whatever his end goal, it will most likely be completed by the time your live chat is over.”

 

“Maybe he wants his cousin released?” Clint put forth.

 

Natasha shook her head. “No. For one, he didn’t seem too concerned about Helmut Zemo. For another, it would take too long to arrange even if we did have the authority, which we don’t. If he wanted his cousin released he would have contacted the UN. He wants something to do with us.”

 

“What if,” Sam said slowly, “he wanted to...embarrass us, so to speak?”

 

The Avengers frowned at that. Steve waved his hand in a gesture to continue.

 

“Well, think about it. We were superheroes, and now we’re considered vigilantes. What if he wants to make us feel helpless? He _is_  holding the world hostage,” Sam said with more confidence. “And he’s inviting everyone to watch what happens. What if he wants to do something horrible, and not only be seen doing it, but let everyone else see that we can’t stop him?”

 

The Avengers looked at each other in realization.

 

“He wants to mock us by hurting innocent people,” Clint declared.

 

Scott shook his head. “What would be the point of that?”

 

Steve sighed. “People have lost a lot of faith in us. The Accords didn’t help them trust us again. Our actions since then have helped renew their trust in us a little, at least in the fact that we are still here willing to protect people.” He referred to the missions around the world where they went in, stopped the bad guy and then got out before anyone who had the _ability_ to detain them arrived. These in-and-out missions had largely been hushed up in conventional news mediums, but had been blowing up on social media.

 

Steve continued, “If people believed that we _could not_ protect them, they wouldn’t have any incentive to give us a chance to help. It would make us and powered people everywhere even less popular, since people would start to think we didn’t have any redeeming qualities and the only thing we’re good for is making a mess.”

 

Wanda sunk down in her seat a bit at this news. Clint didn’t look at her, but rested his hand on her shoulder in comfort. “What’s been done to find Zemo?” he asked.

 

T’Challa replied, “I have people working on it, but right now it doesn’t look promising. The video was leaked several ways. After finding the original video, we tried tracing the signal, but it was a dead end. We found the website he said to use, but finding the location it is maintained from has so far proved impossible. The signal continues to bounce back and forth between servers around the world. Just when we think we found it, the location changes again.”

 

Steve had caught up on using modern technology, but he still didn’t know how to hack nor understood the complexity of it, but he had learned a few tricks from watching others. “Have you thought to send a team to any of the locations? It could be that he has people working for him to constantly receive and then redirect the signal for him. It could be why he’s so confident that we won’t be able to find him even when he’ll be streaming a live video.”

 

Natasha nodded. “That could be one way he thinks to outsmart us. Most likely he’s implemented a number of different ways to protect the signal and delay a trace.”

 

T’Challa sat straight in his chair at one end of the table. “We need to decide right now what we are going to do. Captain,” he said with a frown, “As it stands now, you need to answer Zemo’s request to talk. I am willing to stand with you in a show of support. The UN and Secretary Ross already believe you to be hiding here, so the knowledge would not provide anything new for them to act on. They know they can do nothing while you reside in my country. We have no mandatory extradition stipulations, and thanks to our vibranium mines and advanced technology, we have enough allied countries and businesses that will stand with us against any attack. The question is what the rest of you will do,” he finished, looking over the gathered heroes.

 

Sam spoke up immediately. “I’ll answer the call with Steve. I’ve always had his back, and frankly, I won’t be any help trying to find Zemo.”

 

Steve smiled slightly and nodded his head in thanks.

 

“I’m the same,” Scott said happily. “Well, not with the always having your back,” he said to Steve, “but only because we haven’t known each other long and I haven’t had many chances to prove that. But I’m willing to prove it now.” Scott beamed. “Besides, I’m a good hacker, but what you described sounds above my level.”

 

Bucky cleared his throat. He was very quiet when around more than one or two people, and was still getting used to speaking again. “I’m not sure if it would be appropriate for me to be there.”

 

Sam crossed his arms. “Do you want to be there? Because if you do, then that’s your right. This guy called us all out. I may think you’re an ass, Barnes, but you’re one of us. You heard Zemo, it affects all of us.”

 

Bucky tilted his head to the side before nodding once. “I’m with all of you ‘til the end of the line.”

 

Steve grinned at that and was about to speak when an ordinary ringtone sounded. He looked down at his pocket and pulled out his cellphone before looking back up. Everyone looked at him expectantly. Steve answered the call and put it on speaker before setting the cell on the table.

 

“Tony,” he said.

 

“Spangles,” came the tinny reply. “What the hell did you do to piss off another Zemo?”

 

Despite everything, Steve was genuinely glad to hear from his old friend. “Honestly? No idea. I’m here with the others and have you on speaker. Are Rhodey and Vision there?”

 

Rhodey’s voice answered, “We’re here, Steve. What’s the plan?”

 

“We think Hammond Zemo wants to destroy the Avengers reputation even more by hurting people during the live chat and making us watch, unable to stop it. People would feel like they couldn’t count on us to protect them.”

 

“Not a bad hypothesis,” Stark commented. “He wants to talk to you, right? But he said that this involves all of the Avengers.”

 

“Yes,” Steve answered hesitantly, glancing up at the others. Steve recognized Tony’s “plotting” tone. “What are you thinking, Stark?”

 

“Well, you’re all together living it up in Africa - don’t try to lie to me, I know that’s where you are - in between jetting to different disasters around the world. It’d make sense for you all to answer the call together and for me to not be there. Besides, none of you can hack like I can.”

 

“Hey!” Scott interrupted. “I hacked Vistacorp!”

 

A snort came through the phone speaker. “Please, that was child’s play. Natashalie might be able to hack them, but she would be better suited taking the call with you. Hey! Red! You there?”

 

Natasha rolled her eyes before saying in a bland tone. “I’m to use my skills to distract Zemo from his original goals and delay him long enough for you to run a trace. Yes?”

 

“That’s what I got,” answered Tony. “Vision will help and Rhodey will be in contact with Interpol so that as soon as we have the location we can send someone in to capture Zemo, preferably before anything goes Boom!

 

Steve nodded. “Alright, contact us, too. We’ll help, but we trust you to do your thing,” Steve said softly. “In the meantime, we’ll get everything set up for the chat. Got any odds of how many people will log on to watch?”

 

There was a pause before Vision’s proper accent came through. “I believe at least 60% of the population of first world countries will stream the live video, with 37% in third world countries. The North American continent and the Western European nations will have the most viewers, especially as word has come that several news stations will be airing the video chat, though with ten to thirty second delays to edit any language or violence should it occur.”

 

The Avengers accepted this.

 

“He wants people to see him ‘beat’ the Avengers,” Sam muttered grumpily.

 

“What happens if this goes south?” asked Clint. “It’ll be all over the news that The Avengers let some manic blow up the world.” At everyone’s looks, Clint shrugged. “It makes sense. He’s already got the bombs planted.”

 

“I guess we’ll just have to find a way to stop him,” Steve said. He turned his attention back to the phone. “Stark, keep in touch if you find anything before we go live.” Steve paused. “It’s good to hear from you Tony. You too, Rhodey. Vision. Wish it was under better circumstances.”

 

Everyone held their breath to hear Tony’s response, but it was Rhodey who said, “We’ll call you,” before hanging up.

 

The three original Avengers slumped slightly with Tony’s rejection. T’Challa, both wanting to distract them and needing to get back on task, stood. “I will have a room set up for the coming conference with all of the necessary equipment. Should we wear our uniforms for this, do you think?” T’Challa asked.

 

Everyone shook off their dejection and looked around for the others’ thoughts.

 

Bucky scowled. “I’m not wearing anything special,” he declared. “A pair of cargo pants and a black t-shirt will work for me. Long-sleeved,” he added with a glance at his new vibranium arm that King T’Challa had gifted him. It felt lighter and responded better than his old arm ever had. In fact, Bucky sometimes felt like there was no difference between it and his flesh arm, it was so well built and the sensors so in tune with his nervous system.

 

“I agree with Bucky,” Steve said heavily. “I’m not really Captain America anymore. All I’ve been wearing on missions is a common black tac suit.” He nodded his head firmly. “That’s what I’ll wear. It’s up to the rest of you if you want to wear your uniforms or not.”

 

The others nodded and Natasha asked where they’ll be setting up. T’Challa told them that they’ll set up just down the hallway. They then spent the next hour going over what they’d need to say to Hammond Zemo to stall him from hurting anyone and a back-up plan if something went wrong. None of the Avengers still in New York had called with any new information during that time.

 

Fifteen minutes before Steve had to log onto the video chat, they all took a break to calm themselves for the meeting and to change into their uniforms. While Steve and Bucky weren’t wearing their signature uniforms, the others had chosen to do so, with Scott and Sam leaving off their helmet and goggles. King T’Challa had decided to dress in his formal Wakandan robes for the live conversation.

 

Natasha had looked at the ratings surrounding the video chat. It seemed Vision’s estimates were low. It was a Saturday, so more people were off work, and since Zemo chose noon EST, that meant it was a good, morning television watching time for most of the US, and evening time for Europe. The hype was high, and already millions of people had logged onto the sight to watch the Avengers close-up for the first time in months. Various channels were also speculating on whether Steve Rogers would even answer the call.

 

Natasha was watching WHIH Newsfront with Christine Everhart* on her tablet with a disdainful look.

 

Scott came up behind her and scoffed. “What’s that blonde bitch saying about us now?”

 

Natasha smirked up at him. “Not a fan?”

 

“Hardly.” Scott scowled. “I did an interview with her shortly before being released from prison and she was completely biased, painting me as a selfish criminal mastermind.”

 

Natasha glanced down at the image. “I know people who are like her. They are so set in their beliefs, their hatred, that there is no use arguing with them, and no use even discussing another point of view. They don’t want to hear it because they don’t want to believe that they are not right. It’s not even about them being _wrong_ per say, just that there is another right way that might be better,” said Natasha thoughtfully. “When you meet someone like that, the only thing you can do is smile at them in a way that clearly says you are amused with their idiocy.” Natasha grinned widely. “And then, while they are expounding their beliefs, you stay silent and get your ducks in a row. Do you know what happens then?”

 

Scott leaned away from the feral grin Natasha was giving him. “What?”

 

“You slam down all of your evidence, and it will be a lot considering all of the time they took repeating the same belief with nothing to back it up. You address every issue, every accusation, overturning them all because you have _proof_. You appeal not only to logic, but human emotion as well. You _show_ them that what they thought was real wasn’t; what they believed wasn’t _true_. Then when you are done, even if they still don’t accept it, it won’t matter because you will be known as the intelligent one, the compassionate one, and the one to follow, while they will be seen as what they truly are: ignorant, prejudiced, decidedly narrow-minded and uncaring of anyone else’s hardships. They will be humiliated and unable to come back from their disgrace.”

 

Scott looked at Natasha in shock and no small amount of trepidation. “Wow. You really don’t like Christine Everhart. Are you planning on doing that to her?” he asked in interest.

 

Natasha smiled. “No, but I know someone who is. Frankly, I can’t wait to see it,” she said with palpable excitement and a slight cackle. “It should be fun to watch!”

 

Just then, T’Challa called out to the others that they were ready in the conference room.

 

“Steve!” he called when Steve hesitated outside, looking in worry at his phone. “Is everything alright?”

 

“Yeah,” Steve answered quickly. “Everything’s fine.” Yet, Steve continued to glance at his phone with a frown. He shook his head and walked through the doorway.

 

Inside, a long wooden table was set up with all the chairs facing one direction so there would only be a blank wall behind them. On the opposite side of the room was a camera crew, working to make sure all eight heroes would be seen with the camera. Directly behind said camera was a large screen so that the heroes would see Hammond Zemo when they spoke.

 

One of the crew came over and spoke quickly to T’Challa.

 

He turned to the others and said, “We have five minutes. They have everything set up and will connect with Zemo on Steve’s signal. We should take our seats.”

 

Steve gestured for T’Challa to sit first, and he chose one of the seats in the middle. It was his right as King of Wakanda and their host. Steve took the other middle seat and the others arranged themselves to their satisfaction. Starting on the left sat Scott Lang in his red suit, followed by Sam, Natasha, Steve, T’Challa, Bucky, Wanda and finally Clint, who had a habit of shielding Wanda with his body. She was often stuck between Clint and another person he trusted.

 

The crew gave them the one minute warning. Steve took a deep breath. He had faced worse than this, but he couldn’t get rid of the horrible feeling in the pit of his stomach, like he was on the edge of something that he wasn’t quite sure he was ready for. At the same time, he felt almost eager, like he’d been waiting so long for this moment. His emotions confused him, but there was one thing he was sure of in the seconds before the video was supposed to connect. Whatever happened today, nothing would ever be the same.

 

“Ten seconds,” the woman in charge of the production called. The heroes all exchanged looks and nodded before steeling themselves. When the director gave them the nod indicating that a video request had come in on the website, Steve nodded his head.

 

The camera light came on, and the screen came alive with a video feed. The Avengers could all be seen on the bottom half of the screen, while the top half showed Hammond Zemo standing in a bland, empty room with gray walls and a concrete floor.

 

He smiled. “Hello, Avengers. I am glad you decided to talk with me. In return, I will tell you all where four of the bombs are located. In Chicago, Illinois, the United States, there is a bomb inside The Chicago Water Tower behind a painting. In Barcelona, Spain, there is a bomb hidden inside the La Rambla Drinking Fountain. In London, England, there is a bomb located under The London Eye. Finally, in Quebec, Canada, there is a bomb attached to the gas line that runs under rue Saint-Louis in Ville de Quebec.” Hammond Zemo inclined his head.

 

Steve cleared his throat and glanced at King T’Challa and then Natasha. “Thank you for that information,” he said blandly. “Are you going to reveal the locations of the other bombs?”

 

Hammond smiled benignly. “All in good time. First, I think you want to know why I am doing this. Yes?”

 

Steve lowered his head slightly and stared directly into the camera. “I can guess. You’re from Sokovia. You want revenge for what happened to your family just as your cousin did.”

 

Hammond Zemo’s smile widened. “Yes. And No. You have to understand first that Helmut Zemo and I share no love for each other. When we were younger, we were best friends, but when we grew up, we had the unfortunate experience of falling in love with the same woman. Heike grew up with us, and I had loved her since the day I first met her, but,” said Hammond, “she fell in love Helmut. I could not hate my cousin for the simple fact that he made Heike happy, but I did not like how he treated his position in the world. You see, Helmut was to inherit the title of Baron Zemo after his father died. After his time in the Sokovian Special Forces though, he cared little for it. He had no pride in where he came from, but that was the only thing that I _could_  take pride in. I tolerated him for Heike’s sake only.” Zemo’s smile dimmed. “I accepted that she would never be mine, as long as she was happy with her life. With a husband that was not me, and a son that was not mine. I was content to simply be a part of her life, even if it was not in the way I wished,” he finished softly.

 

Steve’s face morphed into a sorrowful expression. “I’m sorry. I know she was one of many who died in the attack by Ultron last year. If it was in any way possible, I would go back and keep it all from happening.” Steve tilted his head to the side. “I can’t change the past though, and hurting more people isn’t going to bring her back.”

 

Zemo’s face hardened into a glare. “It is not just about Heike, Steve Rogers. It is about everything. It is about my ancestors, my country, my family, my history; it is about my home. I have no home anymore, and I am angry. I have nothing left and I want you all to feel what I feel.” Zemo paused in thought. “Perhaps this makes me a callous monster...but I find I don’t care. I no longer have the capacity to care about anyone or anything. Pointless as it may seem to make everyone else miserable, I’ve come to find I take some comfort in it.”

 

Natasha leaned forward towards the camera. “So that’s it?” she asked slowly. “You’re just going to murder innocent civilians that you’ve never met simply because it distracts you from your own pain? Those are people, people like your Heike,” she said in an even tone.

 

“Ah,” said Zemo. “No. You misunderstand me. I do not wish for the world to burn. Just your world,” he explained. “After Sokovia, Helmut and I came together over our grief and started planning out how we could _avenge_ Heike along with her son and Helmut’s father. Helmut had spent some time decrypting the leaked SHIELD files before Sokovia’s destruction and had come across a report that he thought promising. After Heike’s death, he searched for the rest of the information he would need to bring his plan to fruition. By that time, we had already parted ways. I thought his goal too shortsighted, and his plan too far-fetched. He would bomb the UN posing as James Buchanan Barnes, The Winter Soldier, which would prompt a worldwide manhunt. Once caught, he knew Barnes would be handed over to the UN and given a psychological evaluation, as there was documented evidence of brainwashing.

 

“He was, by the way,” Zemo said abruptly. “Much of the world wants to punish James Barnes, but even I know that what he did under Hydra’s control was not of his choosing and that he is a victim of torture and brainwashing.” Zemo tilted his head and said in amusement. “Many of you are quite stupid for believing him a villain. If it is worth anything, I am sorry for the horrors you lived through, Sergeant.” Zemo bowed his head once.

 

Bucky remained silent and stared passively at the man with his arms crossed.

 

“At any rate,” said Zemo, “my cousin kidnapped and killed the requested psychologist and took his place so that he could speak to Barnes. He had also sent an EMP to the power station and set it off remotely once he was alone in an interrogation room with Barnes. Then, Helmut used the trigger words recorded in the Red _Zimney Soldat_ notebook he obtained from one of Barnes' former Hydra handlers to put him into Compliance Mode. Helmut questioned him about where he was kept in Siberia and then ordered him to escape. Helmut knew that once Compliance Mode was deactivated, Barnes would believe that Helmut wanted to activate the other five Winter Soldiers that were being kept in cryofreeze in the Siberian bunker. Of course, Captain America would follow him, along with the other Avengers.”

 

Hammond Zemo shook his head in bewilderment. “I cannot believe how perfectly his plan worked out. The fight at the airport was a most helpful turn of events. It took out almost all of the Avengers, all but the three he needed to go to the bunker in Siberia. Captain America, the Winter Soldier, and Iron Man arrived at the Hydra base to find all five super soldiers dead with a bullet in their heads.” Zemo smiled. “And that’s where he revealed the truth. That Helmut wanted to tear down the Avengers by getting them to kill each other. He so very nearly succeeded when Tony Stark saw the video that had been taken from a Pentagon surveillance camera in December 1991 and kept in that base all those years.”

 

The Avengers sat up ramrod straight, barely breathing, eyes glaring into the screen.

 

“You know,” said Zemo, “when Helmut told me his plan, I asked him, ‘Why not just send the report that stated James Barnes murdered Howard and Maria Stark?’”

 

Bucky clenched his fist.

 

“He told me that it would not be enough. If Stark were to _watch_ his parents murdered by Barnes in cold blood, he would not be able to control his emotions. He would attack Barnes, but then Rogers would defend his best friend, and so they would fight. With everyone’s emotions running high, reason would be lost, and then…” Zemo twitched his lips up into a smirk. “The Avengers would not be able to come back from that.”

 

Steve lifted his chin. “He was wrong,” he said, though he wasn’t sure he believed it.

 

“Yes!” Zemo agreed. “Helmut was wrong! Of course the Avengers could come back from that. It would take time, but there will always be a world-ending disaster to make them put their differences aside and focus on saving the world. That was why I left Helmut to act on his own. Instead, I traveled. I met people who felt as I did, who just wanted you to feel the agony we feel everyday. Then I came up with my own plan,” Zemo smiled. “I told you that I lost my home. That is the worst thing to be forced to live through. But home is not a place or an heirloom, it is a person. Home is that one person we need in our lives.”

 

Clint’s body jerked in panic and he looked down the row of heroes. His eyes came to rest on Scott’s, which had the same amount of fear in them.

 

Just as their minds formed the thought that _He has my family!_ Zemo spoke again and their attention was diverted. “But then I wondered. Who? Who could that be? The Avengers have very few family members, and none that I believed would affect all of them. Did such a person even exist?” Zemo closed his eyes and breathed in deeply. “And then I saw a picture randomly posted online. One of the people caught my interest. I thought, ‘I know that face.’ I knew that face from other pictures. So many pictures where this person is with the Avengers, but always in the background. Always staying out of the spotlight. But they became your friend. Once I had a face, I got a name. Once I got a name, I researched this person, and, suddenly, it all became clear. One person,” Zemo said with relish, “that tied all of the Avengers together. One person made them feel human. One person made them a family.”

 

Zemo smiled wickedly at them. “Who’d have ever thought?”

 

Panicked realization was dawning on several of the heroes’ faces, their eyes widening and jaws clenched tight.

 

Zemo smiled in satisfaction. “Who is this person?” Zemo asked in excitement. He leaned in closer to the camera. “ _Her._ ” The camera was turned to the side to reveal a dark-haired woman tied to a chair with her head bowed. Her clothes were rumpled and had a few visible dirt smudges. She looked up to reveal blue-green eyes, her mouth gagged.

 

“Darcy!” yelled all of the heroes except Scott, Bucky, and Steve, who’d gasped and pressed his fingers down onto the table to keep himself from reacting.

 

Natasha, Clint, and Sam though, had all jumped to their feet, Natasha even pulling out one of her wicked looking knives.

 

Zemo walked into view and Darcy watched him with a look of both hate and a desire to cause him pain. Zemo stood beside her. “Darcy Maria Lewis, who started as a simple intern, but she is the Avengers' linchpin. Isn’t she?”

 

Clint snarled at him and made an aborted movement to reach for his bow. “You let her go you bastard!”

 

Natasha’s fierce scowl deepened and her lips parted to bare her teeth.

 

Zemo smiled. “She is your friend, almost a sister to you, isn’t she? I learned that even Tony Stark cared for her. My source tells me he acted almost fatherly towards her.” Amusement glinted in Zemo’s eyes. “I think, then, he did not know about the two of you. Did he, Steve Rogers?”

 

The others glanced at Steve out of the corners of their eyes. Steve had stiffened and was barely breathing. The tips of his fingers dug into the wooden table.

 

“Steve?” Bucky breathed out.

 

“Do any of them know?” Zemo asked curiously.

 

Darcy looked straight at the camera, eyes wide and brows tightened. The expression was one asking for forgiveness. All of the Avengers were tensed, eyes flicking from Zemo to Steve and back again.

 

“Steve, what is he talking about?” Sam asked softly. Natasha was nearly vibrating next to him, eyes like lasers at Zemo.

 

Hammond was greatly enjoying himself. “You know, when I found out how close she was to each of you heroes, I still never expected to come across the information about the illustrious Captain America and his whore.”

 

All eyes jumped to Steve. He was like marble, completely unmoving except for his hands gouging into the table, the groaning of wood audible in the silence that followed. Murder was in his steely, blue eyes.

 

“Did you really think you could keep her a secret forever?” Zemo shook his head in disappointment. “I suppose you care quite a lot for her. She is your home, isn’t she?”

 

Steve remained silent.

 

“Say it, Captain Rogers. She is your home.”

 

Steve’s jaw tensed and untensed. Zemo sighed and pulled out a knife. He dragged it over Darcy’s cheek, but she didn’t flinch away. She just glared at him even harder. Zemo held the knife blade down over Darcy’s leg just above her knee. He raised a brow in a silent challenge.

 

Wanda gasped and held her hands over her mouth. Her eyes were filling with tears.

 

Steve blinked at the threat and the hate in his eyes lessened to mix with fear for Darcy. His eyes found hers on the screen. She was looking at him with confidence and nodded her head just slightly.

 

Steve dropped his shoulders a bit and lifted his chin. His eyes didn’t leave Darcy. In a voice barely above a whisper he said, “She’s my home.”

 

Zemo nodded. “You took away my home, Avengers. Now, I’m going to take away yours. You’ll go on living, maybe even save the world and find moments of happiness...but you will never be complete again.”

 

“No!” Clint burst out. “Don’t hurt her!” He looked at the others, eyes pleading for support.

 

T’Challa turned to the screen and spoke with the authority of the king he was. “Hammond Zemo, I am King T’Challa of Wakanda, also known as the Black Panther, protector of my people. I would be willing to negotiate with you for the release of Darcy Lewis.”

 

Zemo had shaken his head before T’Challa finished speaking. “No,” he said simply. Zemo moved behind Darcy. “I am going to kill her, and you all are going to watch. If there is anything you wish to tell her, I suggest you say it now.”

 

A few of the Avengers shook their heads and opened their mouths, but couldn’t find any words.

 

“Oh,” Zemo let out abruptly. “I almost forgot. Before I slit her throat, there is one thing you should know. When I picked Miss Lewis up from the motel room she was hiding in, I found some interesting vitamins in her bag.” Zemo leaned over Darcy and lightly rested his hand on her stomach. “Congratulations, Captain,” he said with a smile. “You are going to be a father...or at least, you were.” Zemo shrugged carelessly.

 

The cracking of the wooden table under Steve’s hands was his only response. A glance at him revealed his eyes riveted on Darcy. The other Avengers were looking furiously between the screen and Steve.

 

Zemo rested the knife on Darcy’s throat and tilted his head to the side as he considered her. “I’m curious,” he said. “Is there anything you wish to say?” He untied the gag and the cloth fell onto her lap.

 

Darcy licked her lips and took in a deep breath. Zemo took a couple steps to the side so she could see him easily. She looked at him with calm disdain and raised one eyebrow. “What? You think I’m going to beg you? Or that I’m gonna give all my secrets away?” Darcy turned to the camera and gave the audience a look that very few understood the significance of before turning back to Zemo. “I still have some pride, which you clearly do not since it took you nearly thirty minutes to finally decide to get to the point of all this. Seriously dude, monologuing? That is _soooo_ 1960’s incompetent villain. And now you’re giving me the chance to talk?” Her voice was incredulous. "Have you ever even watched a movie? You do realize this is now the part where, just when you think you’ve won, I pull a miracle rescue out of my ass?” Darcy was smiling by now with both eyebrows raised in amusement.

 

Clint and Natasha both reeled back at this and looked at each other with tentative hope. Steve’s lips twitched, but his face dropped into a frown.

 

Zemo looked at her in offense with pursed lips. He seemed to think about what she said for a moment before taking a firm hold of his long knife. “This was not how I imagined killing you,” he said.

 

Darcy nodded. “Yeah. I tend not to accommodate my kidnappers. They learn pretty fast that kidnapping me is a Bad Idea. Those last two words were capitalized by the way,” Darcy said nonchalantly.

 

Zemo started to raise the knife, but before he got any closer to Darcy, a shrill alarm started ringing. He stopped and looked up.

 

Darcy beamed at him. “Oh, look at that. I timed that perfectly.”

 

Zemo glared at her. “What did you do?”

 

Darcy hmmed and closed her eyes. She faced forward and opened her eyes to look at the camera. She smiled and nodded her head. “ _I just want you back where you belong,_ ” she sang quickly. “ _And that’s why, I will leave the light on, I will leave the light on-_ ”

 

Zemo tucked away his knife and walked over with his hand outstretched.

 

“ _I will leave the light on for you_ ,” Darcy finished in a rush just before Zemo grabbed her chin in a tight grip and forced her to look at him.

 

Zemo narrowed his eyes at her in suspicion, the alarm still going off in the background.

 

Darcy talked despite the painful hold. “Got two options: kill me, but then you won’t be able to stop what I started. Or you let me fix it.”

 

Zemo looked at her skeptically, but Darcy held his gaze.

 

Zemo released her and stepped back. He looked at the camera - at the Avengers. He looked over his shoulder at Darcy and his lips curled into a sneering smile. “I still have your home,” Zemo said with a gloating smile. He nodded his head to someone off camera and his connection to the video chat cut off.

 

The Avengers were left looking at a screen with the top half black and the bottom displaying their own shocked images.

 

Scott looked from the screen to his teammates. “Um, what just happened?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * WHIH Newsfront with Christine Everhart is a series of Youtube videos Marvel released prior to Ant-Man and Captain America: Civil War.


	2. Who the hell is Darcy Lewis? Pt 1: PLOT TWIST

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They don't know that he knows that everyone knows Darcy.
> 
> OR
> 
> Some people collect stamps, Darcy collects superheroes.
> 
> When she's not, she's busy causing trouble and earning her certification of BAMF.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to all who commented on the last chapter! Your responses made me want to write and I had a lot of free time today, so I got this out sooner than I thought I would. This chapter is shorter than the last, and I doubt I'll ever reach 7,000 words in one chapter again, but then I can get them out more regularly.
> 
> One thing I forgot to mention in the last chapter: if you'll notice in the tags, I said that it is Civil War Compliant, mostly. Everything in the MCU up until then happened, except for the Steve/Sharon kiss under the bridge and that will be explained in a future chapter.
> 
> Marvel owns everything. I own nothing.

 

_"Um, what just happened?"_

 

Scott’s question roused everyone from their daze.

 

Steve turned to the camera crew manning the equipment. “Leave it on,” he ordered in his Captain American voice. “Don’t turn it off. You need to stay logged on to the video chat for at least the next thirty minutes.” Saying this, Steve fiddled with his watch and quickly set a timer for thirty minutes while the other Avengers watched him with a mix of confusion and suspicion. Natasha was standing perfectly still right next to him and her face was blank, though her eyes narrowed on each of his movements.

 

Steve didn’t pay attention to anyone though as he pulled out his cell and typed in a long passcode before holding it up to his ear. He looked down at the table, ignoring everyone else as the phone rang.

 

Whoever he was calling must have picked up, though none of the Avengers could hear the voice on the other end of the line.

 

“Did you see?” Steve asked immediately. He paused before demanding, “Report.” There was a longer pause before Steve exclaimed, “Why would she abandon her charge?” A short pause and then, “That is - nevermind. We’ll discuss it later.” He inhaled and asked, “Status of Edda and Sable?”

 

Several eyebrows were raised at this as well as glances exchanged between the heroes, but Steve stubbornly ignored their looks as well as Natasha’s looming presence over his right shoulder.

 

“No,” he suddenly said, his brow furrowed. “The Atticus Protocol is active. Plane T will serve as the secondary location. If necessary I’ll activate the Gauntlet Protocol. Rogers out.”

 

With that, Steve pressed the end call button and slowly put away the phone in his back pocket. He closed his eyes for a moment and inhaled before he opened them and turned his head to the right at his friends.

 

“So, I guess I-”

 

But Steve couldn’t finish as he suddenly found his chair turned to the side and tipped back on two legs, a knife at his throat. Natasha was standing over him, eyes wide in fury. Movement in front of Steve made his eyes flicker down from Natasha’s gaze to find Clint had pulled his bow from his back and had an arrow aimed at his chest. His eyes were hard as he stared at Steve.

 

“Halt!” T’Challa shouted. All eyes turned to him. With a bland expression on his face, he said, “This seems like something you need to work out between yourselves without me being in the middle.” He deftly pushed his chair back so that he would not be in the path of any pointy objects.

 

Sam spoke up with, “Yep. I am with you on that,” and though he was behind Natasha, he followed T’Challa’s lead and pushed the back of his chair up against the back wall. Wanda and Bucky pushed their chairs back as well so that there was a clear space between Clint and Steve.

 

Scott leaned forward to look down the table from his seat on the end. He rested his hand on his fist. “Does anyone else really want a bowl of popcorn right now? Because I feel like this is going to get really interesting. Actually,” Scott pulled his helmet from under his chair and took out the detachable earpiece. He closed his eyes for a moment and then opened them and smiled. He resumed his position, his face was one of eager anticipation with wide eyes and slightly upturned lips. “Okay. I’m good. Continue.”

 

Steve grimaced but returned his gaze back to the red-haired assassin. He raised his eyebrows in a bored expression, seemingly uncaring that a blade was pressed to his jugular. “Really Natasha?”

 

Natasha bared her teeth and said in her deadly quiet voice. “I am going to ask this once, Rogers. Is there even the slightest chance that Darcy is pregnant with your child?”

 

Aside from several sharp inhales, the room’s occupants - and indeed several million civilians who were still able to watch the proceedings - were completely still.

 

Steve didn’t blink. He gazed up at Natasha for a moment before lowering his gaze to meet Clint’s. His eyes swept to meet Bucky’s where he was sitting on the edge of his seat two feet from him. They shared a look before Steve calmly looked back up at Natasha.

 

“Yes.”

 

The next second was a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it flurry of motion. Bucky was out of his chair before Steve spoke and had tackled Natasha and her knife away from Steve. She jumped back up, but Bucky managed to wrap both arms around her, holding down her wrists and hooking one of his legs around hers to keep her from mangling Steve. Steve himself had acted immediately by throwing his body to the side to dodge the arrow Clint had released.

 

Steve looked wide-eyed at the arrow shaft buried in the chair. “Dammit Clint!”

 

“Sorry,” Clint said instinctively. “Wait, no. I’m not sorry. You knocked up Darcy? You _fucked_ Darcy?” he yelled. He reached back for another arrow, but Wanda stood up and put a hand on his arm.

 

“Maybe there’s more to the story.”

 

“I don’t fucking care!”

 

“Rogers, you bastard!” Natasha yelled at him, still trying to escape Bucky. “That is _my little sister_ -”

 

“Our,” Clint interjected.

 

“- _our little sister_! How dare you touch her,” she growled. “Let me go, Yasha,” She demanded, her struggles intensifying. “I’m going to claw out his eyes and stuff them down his throat so he can watch me disembowel him before turning his intestines into my new favorite belt!”

 

Bucky grunted. “Easy, Natalia. Give the punk a chance to explain.” Bucky looked at Steve with an angry glare. “And there better be a damn good explanation! What the hell, punk? Whatever happened to ‘Slow-Moving Steve’?”

 

“Oh, I’m still Slow-Moving Steve,” he replied quickly and then muttered, “just in a different way.”

 

Natasha growled and shoved her elbow into Bucky’s gut. He grunted, “You know, I am trying to keep an angry Russian assassin from killing your dumb ass, and you are not making it easy.”

 

“You really aren’t!” Wanda agreed. She had created a force field to hold Clint back, but his face was red and twisted in a snarl.

 

“You son of bitch! Just fucking wait until Thor hears about this! He is going to bring his hammer _down!_ ” he yelled.

 

“мерзкий ублюдок! I swear if you hurt her-” Natasha snarled.

 

“I’d never hurt her!”

 

“You already left her!” Clint cried.

 

“That wasn’t my choice.”

 

“No, you just fucked her!”

 

“And got her pregnant!” Nat shrieked in rage.

 

“Stevie, I’m kind of agreeing with them. Your ma would smack you so hard upside the head.”

 

“Would you all shut up? You don’t know what you're talking about!” Steve pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration.

 

“You irresponsible fucktard-”

 

“I could have set you up with anyone-”

 

“It’s not what you think it is-”

 

“-who can’t keep his _fucking_ dick-”

 

“-but you go after _my_ sister-”

 

“-if you would just listen-”

 

“She’d be so disappointed in you, Stevie-”

 

“-and now you leave her alone in this fuckfest and-”

 

“SHE’S MY WIFE!”

 

They all looked at Steve with dumbfounded faces. Even Natasha’s jaw had dropped a little. It was the most shocked Steve had ever seen her.

 

“PLOT TWIST!” Scott yelled with a beaming smile.

 

“WHAT?!” the others shouted in unison.

 

Steve sighed and rubbed his hands over his face.

 

“BULLSHIT!” Clint yelled. “I call _bullshit!_ No way you and Darcy-Lou are married! She’d have told us!”

 

“ _You’d_ have told us!” interjected Sam with a betrayed look on his face. “When would you have gotten married anyway?”

 

Clint pointed at Sam. He shouted, “Yes! Exactly. When did you have time for a wife?”

 

“When did you?!” Steve shouted back and gestured wildly.

 

Clint opened his mouth and drew in a breath but couldn’t think of a retort.

 

“Frigga.”

 

They all turned to Natasha. She had stopped struggling to get free and was staring at Steve like a puzzle, with narrowed eyes and a slightly pursed mouth.

 

“Frigga,” she repeated with an intense stare. The others turned their heads back to Steve. He stared back at her and nodded his head once.

 

“Yes,” he said. Though the question had not been spoken, Steve knew what Natasha was asking. “But the story Darcy told you is still true. She just left out...certain parts,” Steve finished lamely.

 

“How?”

 

Steve raised one shoulder in a shrug. “It’s complicated.”

 

Natasha pursed her lips a bit more before her face smoothed out.

 

“They’re married,” she announced. She glanced over her shoulder at Bucky. “Let me go, Yasha,” she said calmly. “I promise I won’t kill Steve. Yet.”

 

Bucky cautiously released her from his hold. Natasha righted her chair from where it had landed and pulled it to her place at the table where she sat and folded her hands on the table. She looked up at Steve expectantly while everyone watched.

 

Clint stared at her in bewilderment. “That’s it?” he asked. “You just accept it?”

 

Natasha tilted her head to the side in smug superiority. She pointed to her smirk. “You see this smile? This smile says, _I know something you don’t know_ ,” she sing-songed as she tilted her head back and forth with every syllable. “Now sit down.”

 

Clint puffed up. “I will not fucking sit down!” he started shouting again. He glared at Steve and pointed at him accusingly. “This is horseshit! When did you and Darcy get married? When did you even _meet?_ Who was that on the phone? What’s the Atticus Protocol? What’s the Gauntlet Protocol? Where is Plane T? Who are Edda and Sable? What _the fuck_ is going on?!” he finished in a high pitched shriek.

 

Wanda sidled up to Clint’s side and took his arm. Clint let her steer him into his seat at the end of the table while still staring daggers at Steve.

 

Wanda looked at the camera. “You should all know that Clint is usually a very calm and steady person. The only reason he ever freaks out is when his family is in danger. And Darcy is his family.” She frowned. “She is _my_ family, too,” she said, looking at Steve as well. “And I would also like to know the answers to these questions!” Wanda slammed her hand down on the table for extra emphasis, her body glowing with a red aura.

 

Scott raised his hand. “I have a question. Well, actually I have two questions, but the first is kinda important.” When everyone just waited for him to continue, Scott said, “Right. Um, if she’s your wife, why aren’t you worried about her? Like, why aren’t we running off to rescue her?”

 

The others turned back to Steve. “Oh, I am worried about her, but I can’t do anything for…” he looked at his watch, “Another 26 minutes.”

 

Scott exchanged confused looks with Sam, who was sitting next to him. “Why?”

 

“Because Darcy said so.”

 

“What?” Sam asked. “When?”

 

Steve gestured at the camera. “Just now, when she was talking to Zemo.”

 

“What?”

 

Clint huffed. “It was a code.”

 

Natasha explained further. “Darcy uses song lyrics as codes. They can all be used in normal conversation and have various meanings.” She looked at Steve, “You got the time frame when she said, ‘thirty minutes to finally decide’. It’s a chorus line from the song ‘30 minutes’ by T.A.T.U.”

 

Steve nodded. “Yes. I don’t know if that means she planned to get kidnapped or decided to just roll with it and use it to her advantage, but she has a plan. If, at the end of the thirty minutes, she doesn’t connect back to onto the video chat, _then_ I can panic.”

 

“About that,” interjected T’Challa. “I am guessing that the song* she sang was code to tell us to keep up the connection to the video chat?”

 

“Yep.”

 

“Oh! Oh!” Scott exclaimed. “ _I’m gonna give all my secrets away!_ Secrets by OneRepublic! What does that mean?”

 

“It means,” said Steve hesitantly. “That I can finally tell you guys, well, everything.”

 

Clint leaned towards him. “Everything?” he challenged.

 

“Everything I can, yes”

 

“That’s great,” Scott butted in. “But first can you answer my second question? Cause you guys all seem to know this Darcy lady, but I don’t, so...who the hell is Darcy Lewis? Cause I think I need to know to understand what’s going on here. And Sergeant Bucky and his Feline Majesty don’t know Darcy either, so…”

 

“Uhhhhhhh,” Bucky said as he leaned back in his chair and tapped his fingers guiltily on the table.

 

T’Challa coughed a few times next to him before saying, “That is, ah, not exactly true.” Both men’s eyes kept flickering around the room while they fidgeted.

 

“Wait,” spoke Clint. “You guys know Darcy?”

 

“They know Darcy,” Steve said calmly as he leaned back.

 

Natasha turned from Steve to Bucky and asked in amazement, “Yasha, how do _you_ know Darcy?”

 

“Uh,” Bucky began and innocently scratched his nose while avoiding any eye contact. “Hydra sort of... _sent me to kill her when she was seventeen_ ,” he said in a rush.

 

“ _What?_ ” echoed around the room.

 

Clint demanded, “What the hell did Darcy do to get on Hydra’s hit list at _seventeen?_ ”

 

Bucky looked up in thought. “I was never given all the information, and I don’t really remember much of it, but...I think it was that she was super smart and really loud. Loud as in, she was bringing attention to things Hydra didn’t want attention brought to, so they decided to take her out before she became a bigger problem. Oh, and they labeled her as Unrecruitable. Apparently she’s always had a strong moral compass.”

 

The others considered that before Scott asked, “If the Winter Soldier was sent to kill her, how is she not dead? Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad she’s not, but you were the most feared assassin in the world.”

 

Bucky scratched the back of his head uneasily. “You know what? That’s a story for another day. Hey! King T’Challa, how do you know Darcy?” he asked with fake enthusiasm.

 

“Oh, well, I met her in December 2013. She saved both my father’s life and mine from an assassination attempt,” T’Challa explained. “She stayed for a few weeks in Wakanda as our royal guest and endeared herself to much of my country. In fact, she was the one to convince my father and the council to broaden our connections to the outside world. They had been trying to do so since the early 1990’s, but were met with resistance from traditional isolationists. There are still some in Wakanda that wish to keep to ourselves,” T’Challa shrugged elegantly, “but, having met Darcy, much of the population has become more accepting of the idea.”

 

Natasha raised an eyebrow with a slight smirk. “Your Highness, you do realize that Darcy told me everything that happened during her stay.”

 

T’Challa dared to glare at her. He looked at Steve and cleared his throat before forcing a smile. “It is of no consequence. Not that, I didn’t mean what I did with Darcy because I did,” he said slightly flustered. “I just meant - Darcy is very charming. I was happy to meet her. I don’t know if she told you...”

 

“She did,” Steve said with a slightly amused smile at the embarrassed King.

 

“Ah, yes. Of course.” T’Challa cleared his throat again and looked away for a moment like a schoolboy caught being naughty. “You see, I can explain-”

 

Steve shook his head with a smile and held up a hand. “It’s okay. T’Challa, you don’t have to do that. Really, if I held a grudge against every man - or woman,” Steve added in an undertone, “who at one point wanted to marry my wife, I’d be left with few friends.”

 

“You wanted to marry Darcy, too!” Sam sat up eagerly.

 

“It was my father’s idea!” T’Challa defended, looking warily at Steve. “Not that I was opposed to it.” T’Challa regained his composure and sat straighter in his chair facing forward.

 

Steve rolled his eyes. “Okay, show of hands. Who here has wanted to marry Darcy? And be honest.”

 

Natasha was the first to throw her hand in the air with an unrepentant smile on her face, followed by Sam, Bucky, T’Challa, and finally Clint.

 

Bucky frowned at Clint. “I thought you were married?”

 

Clint nodded. “I am, happily so. I never wanted to marry Darcy, but my wife did, so I’m raising my hand for her. No lie, after she first met Darcy, she sat me down and asked - if Darcy agreed that is - if I would be okay with being sibling spouses with her. My wife deserves the very best and if she wanted Darcy then who was I to tell her no? I completely understood and was totally cool with it, and the kids thought it would be awesome to have Darcy as a sort-of stepmom.”

 

The other heroes looked at Clint flabbergasted while he smiled complacently.

 

“You’re weird,” Wanda said.

 

“No, I just can’t say no to my wife, and Darcy is amazing. You know Fury kept trying to recruit her for SHIELD?”

 

“He did?”

 

“He did,” confirmed Natasha. “Darcy always refused.”

 

Steve huffed, leaned back in his chair, and crossed his arms. Natasha smirked. “But that didn’t stop Darcy from gaining clearance level nine before SHIELD fell.”

 

“No way!” said Clint. “You and I were only level eight. You know Fury would use her as a consultant to break into SHIELD bases to test their security? I heard she broke in 287 times.”

 

“I heard she caused no less than 300 agents to quit, and over a hundred to have mental breakdowns!” Natasha returned with a vicious smile.

 

Sam smiled, “Well I heard that the first time Darcy and Fury met, she pickpocketed him and then locked him in his own interrogation room.”

 

Natasha nodded eagerly, “She even chewed out the World Security Council.”

 

“Forget the World Security Council,” said Clint. “She chewed out Nick Fury! _Twice!_ ” he said while holding out a hand with two fingers raised.

 

Bucky abruptly spoke up. “She was able to take out two Hydra bases single-handedly...It was _beautiful_.”

 

“She’s never been afraid of my powers,” Wanda said excitedly. “The first time I met her, she offered to let me practice my telepathy on her. Now we always speak just with our minds!”

 

“She has protected, and been courted by, royalty all over the world,” proclaimed T’Challa.

 

“Pfft,” said Clint. “She’s been courted by royalty from _other_ worlds.”

 

“Dude,” said Sam, “I heard she turned down an alien dwarf king who wanted to make her his queen!”

 

“That’s nothing,” said Natasha. “She once hacked Stark Industries and reprogrammed Jarvis to speak like Napoleon Dynamite! It drove Tony insane!” she cackled.

 

“Woah, woah, woah,” Scott said abruptly. “Stark Industries? Darcy Lewis...and Stark Industries?” They could all see the moment the light bulb turned on in his head. “Oh my god! I know her. I mean, I know _of_ her. I was supposed to meet her! Darcy Lewis, the creator of the Lewis Method!* I can’t believe I didn’t see it before,” he said in wonder. “About six months ago I was supposed to go to this big business gala with Hope, but hero work came up, so I sent my buddy Luis with her instead. Hope came back raving about the Lewis Method and was bitching about how Stark Industries has doubled their output since implementing it in 2013. Dude,” he said to Steve. “You have to let me meet with Darcy. I would win so many points with Hope if I could get them an introduction. Darcy was there at the gala, but some happy, Stark security guy wouldn’t let any of the heads of business talk to her. Only Luis was introduced and that was because she overheard him talking about a painting and she came over to talk to him. Next time I saw him, he had stars in his eyes and a completely lovestruck smile on his face. All I heard for two weeks was Darcy this and Darcy that, but I never saw what she looked like so I didn’t even think they could be the same person.” Scott visibly deflated. “Oh man, Luis is probably bawling his eyes out right now learning that Darcy’s already married to you. Don’t worry buddy,” Scott turned to address the camera. “It’ll be okay. We’ll get through this. It’s okay to cry.”

 

Steve raised an eyebrow at that.

 

Natasha looked at him and her eyes fell to his watch that was peeking out from his sleeve. “Enough of this,” she said suddenly. “We could go on about Darcy all day, but you still haven’t answered any questions.”

 

The lighthearted mood instantly evaporated. Steve sighed and uncrossed his arms. He looked at his watch with a worried frown.

 

“How much time is left?” Clint asked.

 

“About twenty minutes.” Steve looked down one end of the table and then the other. “Look, you guys have to believe that Darcy and I did not want to keep our relationship from you. We wanted you to know, but we couldn’t tell you.”

 

“Why not?” came the softly spoken question from Wanda.

 

Steve looked at her sadly. “That is,” he breathed in deeply and then replied on a sigh, “complicated. It’s a very long and complicated story that I’m not sure we’ll have enough time for.”

 

“Try,” demanded Natasha.

 

Steve looked down at the table with a considering frown on his face. “I’m honestly not sure where to begin.” He paused. “First, there are some things you need to understand.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember, please be kind in your comments!
> 
> *The song is "I Will Leave The Light On" by Sawyer Brown.
> 
> *The Lewis Method (as far as I know) was first introduced by pjvtraveler in a fic called, The LEWIS METHOD. My version of the method is different than what they describe though, and really the only thing that's the same is the name.


	3. Who the hell is Darcy Lewis? Pt 2: *Aliens*

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Sam can't even.
> 
> OR
> 
> Scott is a little shit. 
> 
> Steve needs a hug.
> 
> The Avengers can't help but get distracted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really like writing this story, so you guys get another chapter!
> 
> As usual, be kind in your comments, and I'll try an get a chapter out once or twice a week.
> 
> I don't own Marvel. If I did, this would be canon.

_“First, there are some things you need to understand.”_

 

Steve glanced at the others before focusing again on his hands. “What I’m about to tell you only a few people knew. Jane Foster and Erik Selvig were the only humans to know for the longest time. Thor knew, so did quite a few Asgardians. Some people on earth knew bits and pieces, but not the whole story.” Steve looked at the camera. "Of course, that's going to change now." He frowned. "Something must have changed if it doesn't matter who knows now."

 

Steve paused. “You all know that Darcy got involved with,” he gestured with his hand, “all of this when she took an internship with Dr. Jane Foster studying astronomical anomalies. Then Thor showed up, SHIELD got involved, Lady Sif and the Warriors Three came to bring Thor back, a giant robot came to kill them, and then Thor and the others left,” Steve summed up. “The Bifrost was destroyed in the fight, so Thor couldn’t come back to Earth, but he asked Heimdall the Gatekeeper to keep an eye on Jane and Darcy since he has the power to see the other realms.”

 

“Now,” Steve said sternly. “What you need to know is…” Steve trailed off as he looked beyond the scope of the camera towards the door they all came in. The others copied him and blinked in shock.

 

“Oh,” said Scott happily. “I was wondering when they’d get here.”

 

“Are you freaking kidding me?” deadpanned Sam.

 

Scott leaned down and picked up the bowl full of popcorn that had been carried to his side by several dozen ants.

 

“Did you really just do that?” Sam asked him.

 

“Yep,” said Scott. He looked at the the hero sitting next to him. “Popcorn?” he offered Sam.

 

Sam looked from the bowl to Scott. “How did you even get them to do that?” he asked in wonder.

 

Scott smiled and said, “Well, about two months ago after that mission with the rock guys, I was watching TV when I really started craving popcorn. I didn’t want to get up though, which is how I got the idea to train the ants to make some. They’re really quick learners.” Scott looked down at the ants. “Good job, guys! Hey!” he said to the Wakandans in the room. “Make sure you don’t step on my ants.” He shoved a handful of popcorn in his mouth and gesture to Steve. “You were sayin’?” he prompted.

 

“Uh, right,” said Steve. He blinked a few times before saying, “You need to know that the other planets in the Nine Realms decided long ago to leave Earth alone. They would protect it from outside invasion, but humanity needed the time to evolve on its own, so no Asgardian had been to Earth in several centuries. When Thor, Sif, Volstagg, Hogun, and Fandral returned to Asgard, they told stories of their time on Earth. Erik Selvig and Jane Foster were talked about a little bit, but most of the stories were about Darcy.”

 

Steve paused. “Asgardians are a Warrior Race,” he stated. “Even if a person doesn’t become a soldier, every Asgardian is taught to fight to some extent. You know how Thor calls us his ‘Shield Brothers and Sisters’? That term can be applied to anyone you’ve been in battle with. Now, Thor told everyone about how Darcy took him down with her taser-”

 

“She what?” interjected Scott.

 

“Yeah.” Steve smiled. “When you meet Thor, ask him about it. He loves to tell that story.”

 

“If you ask me,” said Clint with his arms crossed, “that guy is a little too proud of being tased.”

 

Steve rolled his eyes in amusement. “In any case, the fact that she took him down impressed a lot of Asgardians. Add to it that she helped get him released from SHIELD and stayed to help everyone out when the Destroyer attacked-”

 

“The what?” asked Bucky.

 

“Giant, fire-breathing, alien robot,” clarified Steve. “Anyway, all that earned Darcy the title of Shieldmaiden. That was only strengthened by Heimdall’s reports of Darcy defending Jane when they were attacked. However, Darcy also became known as an ‘hearthkeeper’ as they call it because of how she treated Jane and the Asgardians. Hearthkeeper is actually hard to explain,” said Steve rubbing his eyes. “It’s not someone who just keeps the home like a stay-at-home mom or dad. A true hearthkeeper is someone who takes care of their people, even if they’re not actually at home. They always put everyone else first. They ensure physical needs are met, like food and sleep, while also providing a sense of peace and safety. Tell me that doesn’t describe Darcy?” Steve asked rhetorically. “She can make anyone feel at home.” He shrugged and then frowned.

 

“Now, I’m not sure I can explain this right. You see, on Asgard, warriors are some of the most highly respected citizens, which is what you would expect. Right?”

 

The Avengers nodded along in agreement. “What’s surprising is that hearthkeepers are respected just as equally. The understanding there is that a true warrior knows the value of home, so to be taken under the care of an hearthkeeper is seen as a great fortune. Darcy though, is considered a Shieldmaiden _and_ Hearthkeeper, which is practically unheard of. To be a fierce warrior and yet a compassionate nurturer…” Steve trailed off and shrugged. “The Asgardians were fascinated by her. One of those Asgardians was Frigga, Queen of Asgard and Thor’s mother.”

 

Steve shifted uncomfortably. “This part is complicated, and I still don’t understand it completely, but...apparently on Asgard, there is another world that is both a part of and separate from Asgard. In this ‘realm’ live the Norns. Norse mythology got a lot wrong about Asgard, but there are a few things that are true. The three Norns are immortal sisters who can see the past, present, and future, and are responsible for taking care of Yggdrasil, the World Tree. For the most part, they’re watchers. Unlike what Norse mythology says, they don’t decide people’s lives. In fact, they mostly stay out of it. They do know the history of the universe though, so they can see how past events affect the present and how it will play out in the future.”

 

Steve looked around at his friends and said carefully, “There are very few times the Norns get involved. If something occurs that they see as a great injustice, they’ll give a person a new opportunity. If they know disaster is looming, they will sometimes… _nudge_ a person one way or another. Ultimately it is up to that person though, so don’t anyone think they didn’t have a choice. The Norns don’t take away free will,” Steve swore.

 

“Now, the Norns aren’t the only ones with foreknowledge. I told you how they take care of Yggdrasil. Yggdrasil is a sort of pathway in space that encompasses the Nine Realms. There are other planets with intelligent life forms outside of the Nine Realms, but Yggdrasil isn’t connected to them.”

 

“Wait,” said Sam. “I’m confused. Is Yggdrasil an actual tree? You said it was, but now you’re saying it’s a space path…?” he looked at Steve with a confused and pleading face.

 

Steve shrugged helplessly. “Like I said, I don’t fully understand it. It’s kind of both? I was told it like this: All matter is energy, and Earth is matter. Earth is connected to the other eight realms in an energy flow that spans across space. The energy flow is called Yggdrasil. The ‘heart’ of that energy flow is on Asgard, in the physical representation of a tree, which is therefore, also called Yggdrasil.”

 

The faces of the Avengers ranged from rising understanding to absolutely lost.

 

“Nope,” said Sam. He shook his head with an “oh well” kind of face. “I’m not even going to try.”

 

Steve looked at him for a moment. Then he held his hands up about a half foot apart, squinted his eyes and said fervently, “ _Aliens._ ”

 

A few exaggerated gasps sounded and Sam reeled back. “Did you just?”

 

Scott looked at Steve in wonder. “That was a perfect Giorgio Tsoukalos* imitation if I ever saw one!”

 

“Sorry,” Steve muttered, looking down bashfully even though he was smiling. “I couldn’t resist. Blame Darcy.” He looked up at them. “It was only a matter of time before her propensity to find humor in the worst situations and ability to reference even the most obscure pop culture wore off on me.”

 

“You know,” said Clint. “That, more than anything, has convinced me that you two are really married.”

 

“Steve,” said T’Challa. “This is all very fascinating and I would love to hear more, but what does this have to do with Darcy?”

 

“I’m getting to that,” Steve assured him. “But there’s still one more thing you all have to know before I can explain why Darce and I couldn’t tell you about us. See, Yggdrasil isn’t a normal tree. It’s sentient, and it has a way of knowing the most likely future our paths will lead to. Yggdrasil can communicate this with other beings if it so chooses, but there are very few people in the Nine Realms that can speak with Yggdrasil. These people are called acolytes, or at least that’s the closest english translation. At any one time there are maybe three or four acolytes in the entire universe, sometimes one more or less. I think Darcy told me that the most there ever was at one time was six. But there’s always at least one. Frigga was an acolyte of Yggdrasil, the most powerful acolyte ever, and was able to observe Darcy and get to know her through Yggdrasil.”

 

“Now,” said Steve. “Remember everything I just told you, because it’s important later. While all this was happening on Asgard, Darcy was still on Earth working with Jane. She didn’t really have anywhere else to go and she and Jane had really bonded. They’re actually closer than most sisters now. Unfortunately, the makeshift lab they were working in was attacked. Darcy fought them off with a homemade smoke bomb, 8 rubber bands, her taser, a skateboard, and a frying pan.” Steve grinned at his friends perking up in interest.

 

“After that, SHIELD decided to move them to New York for their safety a few months before I came out of the ice.”

 

“Is that how you met?” Natasha asked. “Through SHIELD?”

 

“No.” Steve shook his head. “If I had, I’m not sure I would have trusted her.”

 

“Why not?” Sam asked with a frown.

 

Steve smiled without humor and leaned back in his chair. “Did you know,” he began lightly, “that when I first woke up, SHIELD tried to make me believe it was still the 1940s?”

 

Natasha’s eyebrows rose just slightly. The others blinked in surprise.

 

Steve bit his lip and looked down at the table. “They’d set me up in this fake hospital room and had a ‘nurse’ come in and tell me that I was in a recovery room in New York.” Steve snorted. “I didn’t believe it for a second. I told her that the baseball game they had playing on the radio was a game I’d seen back in ‘41, which was true, but...that wasn’t my first clue. I knew before I even opened my eyes that something was wrong. No, my first clue was that I woke up alone.”

 

Steve tilted his head back and looked at the ceiling. “If it had been the forties, the Howling Commandos and Peggy all would have been there to yell at me and tell me what an idiot I was for crashing the plane in the ice. And then, yeah, there was the game. It sounded familiar, but I couldn’t place it at first. It was the radio itself that made me suspicious. There was no static; the sound came through too clear for an average radio of the time.” Steve said frowning in remembrance. “I looked around the room, and they had the window open, curtains moving with a breeze, but the sounds that were coming through were too organized and clean for a city. There was no cursing, no sound of kids in the streets. And the smell?”

 

Steve looked around at everyone. “There was no smell! You can’t fake 1940’s city smell. The smell of burning coal, car exhaust, hot metal, and the slight salt in the air coming from the ocean mixed with ladies perfume and the sweet smell of a bakery on every corner.” Steve’s voice had turned wistful, but he shook his head and said, “But then why would they even have a window open in the first place? It was wrong. And then I saw what I was wearing? Lying on top of the bed sheets instead of between them, with combat boots on no less? And a t-shirt with the SSR logo on it?” Steve said, amused at the blunders SHIELD had made. “Nobody wore only t-shirts back then,” he explained. “They were undershirts, so why on earth would someone bother putting on a logo that was just going to be covered up?”

 

Steve huffed out a laugh. “Oh, and then _she_ walked in. The nurse. Everything about her was wrong.” Steve starting listing the faults in her costume, his voice growing harder with every word. “Her body language was tensed for a fight. Her voice, controlled and trying way too hard to seem calm and reassuring. Her hair was loose and not properly styled. Her tie too wide, her lipstick too dark, and the outline of her modern foam bra could be seen through her shirt,” he finished with an annoyed face. “She was just wrong. It was all wrong.”

 

Steve pursed his lips and looked down again, eyes flickering back and forth. He shrugged. “I didn’t know where I was or who had me so...I ran,” he said softly. “I got out of the building and I saw the cars and the people. I ran a couple blocks away, looking up at the skyscrapers, and then I stopped in the middle of Times Square. I was just spinning around looking at everything and it was just…”

 

“Overwhelming?” Natasha whispered.

 

Steve nodded. “That’s when Nick Fury showed up and explained what had happened. We went back to the SHIELD facility,” Steve murmured, “and I spent the next two days going through physical and psychological evaluations.”

 

The silence in the room was absolute. None of the Avengers seemed to know what to say about this revelation. They had never thought about what Steve went through immediately after waking up.

 

Steve continued speaking without looking at anyone. “I was briefed on the end of the war and given a _very_ condensed history of the last seven decades. I suppose they deemed me...suitable to be in public because after that they moved me from a bunk in the facility to an apartment in Brooklyn. They gave me files on people I’d known back in the 40’s as well as a laptop and phone that they showed me how to use. I was told to check in with SHIELD every 48 hours and then - other than some light monitoring - they left me alone. And I was,” Steve said, “ _completely_ alone.”

 

Steve looked at Sam and Natasha and then turned the other way to look at Clint.

 

“You guys, you didn’t know me then, and I’m glad you didn’t because...I _was not_ in a good place,” he said heavily. “To the whole world, everything happened nearly seventy years ago, but to me...Two days ago I was nose diving a plane into the ice, fully expecting to die.” Steve looked at Bucky. “Two weeks ago, I watched my brother in all but blood fall to his death.” Bucky looked down. “Or so I thought at the time,” Steve added.

 

“SHIELD...really didn’t do any favors for me. I guess they really didn’t know what to do with me, but...I didn’t have _anyone_ or _anything_ to anchor me and I had,” Steve huffed, “ _no idea_ what to do in this strange new world.” He said thoughtfully, “I think it’s why Thor and I always got along so well, because we felt so different here. Only,” Steve turned his head back and forth to each side of the table, “he could _go back_ to his world, and I couldn’t. I tried adjusting. The technology I actually got fairly easily, and seventy years in the future, I expected those changes. But the biggest thing I struggled with were people. There was no one I could trust. Civilians...there was just this wall,” Steve said heavily. “I was separate from them. The SHIELD agents I met had their own agenda, and it just seemed like everybody wore a mask.”

 

Steve sighed. “I took to wandering around New York during the day. At night, instead of sleeping, I’d go to this old gym I found that didn’t have any new machinery. I could almost fool myself into thinking no time had passed while I took out all my frustrations on a punching bag.”

 

Steve sat up straighter and smiled, “That’s how I met her. Eight days after waking up. Six days on my own.” His voice was soft and wistful. “It was getting dark out and I was heading to the gym. The street was nearly deserted and I just glanced up for a moment before my eyes instantly snapped back up to look at her.”

 

Steve’s grin widened until the corners of his eyes crinkled. He looked off to the side seeing it play out in his head. “She’s on the the other side of the street, facing me, walking down the sidewalk. She’s wearing this - _ridiculous_ knitted sweater with yoga pants and purple boots, her white earbuds snaking from her ears to her ipod that she’d stuck into the waistband of her pants, and is carrying a tub of ice cream in each hand,” Steve chuckled. “Her hair’s up in this messy bun, and she’s not wearing any makeup. Doesn’t matter though, she’s still gorgeous! And her clothes can’t hide the fact that she’s got a body like a damn pin-up. Remember Buck?” Steve asks excitedly. “The ones with curves for days that we used to have wet dreams over?”

 

The others snorted while a slow, lascivious smile spread across Bucky’s face. “Yeah,” he said in a low tone. “Like Miss King.”

 

Sam raised his brows and asked, “Who’s Miss King?”

 

Steve and Bucky shared a dirty smirk and replied together, “Middle school librarian.”

 

Steve snorted. “I thinks it’s the only reason Bucky ever picked up a book,” he ribbed.

 

The others laughed as Bucky flicked Steve off.

 

“Anyway,” he continued. “It was Darcy’s smile that got me. She looked so perfectly content and my first conscious thought was,” Steve shrugged, “she’s not wearing a mask. How could she be? Her expression was the most genuine I’d seen on another person since waking up. And she’s wearing modern clothes using modern tech, but for some reason, she gave me the feeling of home.” Steve lets out a breathy laugh. “Maybe if I hadn’t been mourning everything I’d lost, I’d have gone and talked to her,” said Steve. He blinked and took a deep breath. “But I was mourning. So I just shook my head and continued on my way. I didn’t get very far though, cause she’d just left my sight when I heard her cry out. I turned around and saw her pulled into an alley. I followed after her and peeked around the corner. A mugger had her backed up against the wall with a jagged hunting knife a few inches from her face.”

 

Steve looked at them with his lips fighting a smile. “Now, you’d think in that situation, a person would try to keep from pissing off their attacker.” He shook his head. “Not Darcy. The mugger told her to give him her purse, and Darcy gave him this look that just _screamed_ , ‘Dumbass, does it _look_ like I’m carrying a purse?’”

 

The others burst into surprised giggles.

 

Steve smiled and fought his need to laugh. “Well, the guy realized this, so then he said, ‘Gimme your wallet.’ And then Darcy outright said, ‘Dumbass, does it _look_ like I’m carrying my wallet? _And’,_ ” Steve raised his voice to be heard over their laughter, “‘before you ask about pockets, I am wearing a sweater and yoga pants. Dumbass, does it _look_ like they have pockets?’”

 

Bucky guffawed loudly while the others snickered. “Now I know you two are perfect for each other,” he said brightly. “Neither of you know when to shut your damn mouth!”

 

Steve laughed along with them for a moment. “Well, Darcy handled it. She made the mugger think there was someone behind him, so when he dropped his guard to look, she kicked him in the groin and then punched him right in the face - with the tub of ice cream dangling from her fist, mind you. The guy fell back, out cold.”

 

“Nice,” Clint said appreciatively, Natasha and Sam nodding along.

 

“So, uh,” Steve shifted in his chair. “That’s how we met. I introduced myself and then I walked her home.”

 

“BZZT!” Natasha buzzed. “I’m sorry. That was my bullshit detector. It was reacting to the bullshit you just told us,” she said with a blank face.

 

Steve glared at her. “Nat, it’s true.”

 

“Oh, I’m sure it is, but I’m also sure you left something out.”

 

Natasha stared hard at Steve. He held her gaze for a moment before looking away. He muttered sullenly. “How do you always know?”

 

Natasha smirked. “Well?” she demanded.

 

Steve shifted uncomfortably again. “Well…” he glanced at Natasha and then sighed in resignation. “Okay, so I might have walked up behind her, and she may not have known I was there that whole time, and then when I spoke, I may have startled her, and then she may have reacted on instinct, and so she might have kicked me.”

 

Natasha raised a brow and her eyes lit up.

 

Sam leaned forward. “She kicked you?”

 

Steve stared determinedly forward, looking at the camera. “Yes.”

 

“Steve,” Natasha purred in a sugary sweet voice. “ _Where_ did Darcy kick you?”

 

Clint looked at Steve eagerly. “Oh. _Please_ be going where I think this is going.”

 

Steve looked to the ceiling. “You’re going to make me say it, aren’t you?”

 

Natasha leaned next to his ear and hissed, “Say it.”

 

Steve blinked at the ceiling. “...She kicked me in the balls.”

 

A couple surprised giggles escaped the heroes, but mostly they were just shaking in delight while looking at Steve with unsurpassed joy.

 

“She-she,” snickered Sam, “kicked you...in the balls?” he double-checked.

 

“Yes. Yes!” shouted Steve and threw is arms out in exasperation. “Darcy kicked me in the balls!”

 

This forced the other heroes to lose their control and they all started laughing.

 

“Oh my god!” squeaked Clint. “I don’t know which part of this is better. The fact that Darcy Lewis kicked Captain America in the balls when they first met,” he looked at Steve, “or the fact that you _married_ the girl who kicked you in the balls when you first met.” Clint wiggled in his chair clutching his stomach and tapped his feet up and down while he laughed. “This is the greatest thing ever!”

 

“Yeah, yeah,” muttered Steve. “Ha ha, very funny. You know, none of you really have a leg to stand on here. I have dirt on all of you.”

 

The Avengers managed to get their mirth under control to listen to Steve.

 

“Yeah right,” snorted Clint. “You got nothin’!”

 

Steve looked at Clint and a devious smile spread across his face. “Two words, Clint: Operation. Spiderzilla.”

 

Natasha made a choking sound while Clint cried, “She told you about that?!”

 

Natasha’s choking turned out to be laughter. Uninhibited, snort-infused, teary-eyed laughter. She even stood up, hunched over, and stomped her right foot a couple times to try to regain control before belting out her laughter again.

 

“Okay,” said Sam. “If it can make the _Black Widow_ laugh like that, you know it’s good.”

 

T’Challa asked curiously. “What is Operation: Spiderzilla?”

 

“No!” Clint yelled. “You can’t tell them! Three months!” Clint held up three fingers for emphasis. “I needed _three months_ of therapy for that. Listen to me, all of you,” Clint said. “Whatever you do, don’t piss off Darcy. Just don’t. In fact, if you had to choose between pissing off Darcy and pissing off the Black Widow, piss off the Black Widow! Cause see, Natasha? She’ll just shoot you. And yeah, it’ll hurt, but then it’ll be _done!_ ” he said with finality. “But Darcy?”

 

Clint’s body shuddered from his lower back up to his chest and arms which he wrapped around himself as he hunched forward. “Psychological warfare,” he whispered.

 

“I am disturbed,” said Scott after swallowing a mouthful of popcorn, “by how disturbed you are.”

 

“And also by how Natasha still can’t control her cackling,” added Sam. Natasha had sat down and was only letting out intermittent giggles.

 

“Guys?” Wanda intruded. “We don’t have much time left, and Steve has still not explained his secrets.”

 

Steve checked his watch and was surprised to see there was little less than eight minutes left. “Right,” he nodded. “Okay, no more distractions because I really need to tell you guys this,” he said seriously. “I’m gonna gloss over pretty much everything. All you need to know is that Darcy and I became friends, then best friends. I fell in love with her, and unbeknownst to me, she’d fallen in love with me, but we were idiots. Stuff happened, and so she went to London, I went to D.C., and then the Dark Elves invaded. Darcy went soul searching and I was working for SHIELD. Then Hydra was exposed. You with me so far?”

 

Natasha demanded, “You are going to tell the full story to me later, especially because I’m pretty sure I know what happened.”

 

Steve rolled his eyes. “Of course you do.”

 

“ _Is that your first kiss since 1945?_ ” Natasha said. She scowled and said in a deep voice to mimic Steve’s, “ _That was not my first kiss since 1945. I’m 95, I’m not dead._ ”

 

“What, what, what?” asked Sam eagerly. “You kissed her?”

 

Natasha glared at Steve. “They did more than that. Didn’t you?” she demanded.

 

Steve slowly looked up with pursed lips.

 

“You slut! You totally slept with her!”

 

“You know what?” Steve snapped. “What happened is between me and Darcy, so I don’t have to explain to you, you, or any of you assholes,” he said, pointing at Natasha, Clint and then gesturing with his finger up and down the table.

 

“It was after SHIELD fell that Darcy and I finally admitted our feelings, and even though it was the absolute worst time to come together, we realized that there was never going to be a ‘Good Time’. And I decided that I wasn’t going to be the guy that waited too long anymore,” he said sincerely before his lips tilted up. “And she decided the same because after three months, _she_ proposed to _me_.”

 

“What?” exclaimed Clint angrily. “You didn’t even propose to her?”

 

Bucky shook his head in disappointment. “Disgraceful.”

 

“Screw you guys, you don’t know know what I had to do to gain Thor’s approval. Asgardians take marriage and courting seriously. One of the Trials is basically facing off against the Asgardian version of a Whomping Willow*, only it’s closer to a Whomping Beech. Point is, I got beat up by a tree!” admitted Steve. “And that was one of the easier tasks.”

 

He pinched the bridge of his nose. “Now could you all please focus? This is where it starts to get complicated,” Steve hesitated. “Before, the fact that we knew each other and none of you knew never really seemed like a big deal. We were friends. We just didn’t want any of the Avengers ribbing us for it.” Steve fidgeted. “After we got together, we fully planned on telling you. We just wanted to wait a little bit so that we could enjoy _us_ for a little while. We finally decided to tell you everything, including our engagement, after Darcy got back from visiting Asgard with Thor and Jane, but…”

 

“But?” asked Natasha.

 

Steve grimaced. “Remember what I told you all earlier? About the Asgardians liking Darcy, and Frigga, and Yggdrasil?”

 

They nodded.

 

Steve took a deep breath. “Okay, so...Frigga was killed when the Dark Elves invaded Asgard before coming to Earth. But Frigga had gained favor with Yggdrasil and the Norns, so they offered her one of those rare opportunities.” Steve hesitated. “The night Frigga died, Darcy had a dream where Frigga came and told Darcy that they would meet when the time was right. Frigga said that she trusted Darcy, that she was important, and that Frigga could think of no one better for the task.”

 

“Task?” asked Clint. “What task?”

 

Steve ignored him. “Ah,” he winced. “There is one thing I forgot to mention.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Giorgio Tsoukalos has appeared on television advocating ancient astronauts - meaning that aliens came to Earth thousands of years ago. In the early 2010's, a still shot of Giorgio Tsoukalos with crazy, fly-away hair, an orange tan, and squinted eyes holding is hands up about 8 inches apart became a popular meme, one stating some type of phenomena above his face, and below, the word "Aliens" as an explanation to that phenomena.
> 
> *A Whomping Willow is a magical tree that appeared in the Harry Potter series.


	4. Who the hell is Darcy Lewis? Pt 3: Pause, Be Kind, Rewind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the truth is revealed at last.
> 
> OR
> 
> Steve and Darcy did not want to keep secrets.
> 
> Even though they have All of the Very Big Secrets.
> 
> Thaddeus Ross is the root of all evil.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay guys. I'm ecstatic about the response this fic has gotten, but I'm not very satisfied with this chapter. Some of you may be like, "Yeah right!" at the end of this and highly doubtful that Steve and Darcy could keep all the secrets.
> 
> HOWEVER, this story is eventually going to go back to the beginning, so you will see for yourselves, and I promise it will make sense.

“There is one thing I forgot to mention. You know how Thor refers to Darcy as his ‘Lightning Sister’ or the ‘Sister of His Heart’?”

 

“Yes,” said Natasha with a frown.

 

“Yeah,” said Steve. “Those aren’t just terms of endearment. They’re titles. Asgardian adoption laws are iffy. When an Asgardian _claims_ a person as a family member, then they are family. But!” Steve said, holding up a finger. “It only applies to that particular Asgardian, not the rest of the Asgardian’s family. So Darcy would be Thor’s sister, but _not_ Odin’s daughter. Understand?”

 

A few nodded their heads.

 

“However,” Steve said. “When the head of the family accepts a claim, then it _does_ affect all family members. The adopted person gains the full rights and privileges of that family.”

 

Steve let that sink in. “Thor claimed Darcy as his sister, but he wanted to make it official, especially because he was the only heir to the throne. He knew how amazing Darcy was and that she could handle anything. One of the purposes of that first visit to Asgard was to appeal to King Odin to accept the claim and make Darcy a member of the Asgardian Royal Family.”

 

There were several dropped jaws at that. Scott had stopped mid-chew of his popcorn.

 

Steve tapped his fingers on the table. “Before the King and his counsel came to a decision though, Darcy was called to the Royal Garden. There she found Yggdrasil, and at the base of the tree was a baby.”

 

Sam interrupted after blinking and shaking his head real fast. “Wait, I’m sorry. Time-out. Pause, be kind, rewind. A  _w_ _hat?_ ”

 

Steve sighed. “The opportunity that Frigga was offered by The Norns was to be reborn.” Steve looked his friends in the eyes. “She wouldn’t remember her past life, though she would have very strong inclinations towards places and people she knew before. When Frigga was reborn, she was allowed to choose her new parents. That’s the task she set. Frigga chose Darcy as her new mother.”

 

“Frigga,” said Clint. He looked at Natasha. “That’s what you meant before. You _knew?_ ” he accused.

 

Natasha’s carefully blank mask gave nothing away. “I knew Darcy became the mother of a blonde, blue-eyed little girl named Frigga that used to be Thor’s mother, yes. I wasn’t told what role Steve played,” she said glaring at Steve to continue.

 

Steve nodded his head. “After Darcy found Frigga, she took her to the throne room where everyone was congregated for the final decision. Thor and Odin recognized Frigga’s energy signature immediately. They also recognized the symbol that had appeared on Darcy’s shoulder the moment she held Frigga. It’s the Asgardian rune for ‘mother’ and appears as a golden tattoo. Of course, after that, there was no doubt of allowing Darcy into the royal family. That’s why I’m not worried about her,” Steve explained. “The Asgardians love their Princess Darcy. I mean they _love_ her,” he reiterated. “They would not take kindly to anyone hurting their princess and de-facto All-Mother.”

 

Steve gave everyone a few moments to take in this information. Sam rubbed his head in a gesture that Steve knew meant he was fighting a headache and the others seemed like they’d had too much information heaped upon them.

 

Natasha looked at Steve with determination though. “And?” she urged.

 

“I’m not a prince if that’s what you’re asking,” Steve said. “Darcy would become queen if Thor died before having any children, but I would never be king. I’m just Darcy’s ‘consort’, which she always gets a giggle out of,” Steve said ruefully.

 

“Good to know,” said Natasha, “but that wasn’t what I was asking.”

 

Steve sat up straight. “Right,” he glanced left and right nervously. “Big Reveal number two. Uh, when Darcy came back to Earth with a baby, I was obviously confused. They explained it, and then I was, kind of excited,” he said with a smile. “And then I got to hold her, and I felt a burning on my shoulder as the rune for ‘father’ appeared. That’s when Thor explained the full truth.”

 

Steve looked at T’Challa, Bucky, Wanda, and Clint and then at Natasha, Sam, and Scott. “I told you Yggdrasil is connected to all the energy in the Nine realms. That includes everyone’s DNA. When Frigga chose Darcy and me as her parents, Yggdrasil created Frigga’s new body out of our genetic code, and then acted as a sort of surrogate until Frigga was strong enough to survive.” Steve looked down. “What I’m saying is-”

 

“You’re a _dad?_ ” breathed Bucky with wide eyes.

 

Steve met his eyes and smiled. “Yeah,” he said softly. “I’m a dad.” He beamed at them. “I have a daughter. She’s almost two, and I have absolutely no shame in admitting that I am completely wrapped around her fingers,” he said with a dopey grin. “She’s amazing. I can’t wait for you guys to meet her. We were actually going to tell all of you everything I just explained next week. Remember?”

 

T’Challa smiled. “They are who you invited to Wakanda,” he said with a smile that dimmed after a moment. “Though, if my memory serves, didn’t you say there were going to be _three_ people coming?”

 

Steve nodded. “Yes.” He glanced at his watch. Four minutes. “Darcy and I got married late January 2015 on Asgard through a special bonding ceremony. It’s funny actually. The bond makes the couple’s eyes take on some of each other’s coloring. Helmut Zemo was the only one to notice I had some green in my eyes like Darcy’s.”

 

Steve took in a deep breath. “And now it’s time for Big Reveal number three.”

 

“There’s more?” asked Sam.

 

Steve nodded. “A few weeks after the wedding, Darcy started getting sick. Thor visited and blurted out the truth. _Apparently_ ,” Steve said in an annoyed voice, “Thor failed to mention the effects of one of the ceremonial meads we had at our wedding.”

 

“Which would be?” asked Natasha who was clearly getting annoyed at all of the prodding she had to do to get Steve to tell the story.

 

“Well,” Steve smiled sheepishly as he twiddled his thumbs. “If Darcy is pregnant right now, heh, it wouldn’t be the first time,” he muttered.

 

“WHAT?”

 

“You knocked up Darcy _twice?_ ” Clint shouted as he jumped to his feet again. "Is that why Darcy spent almost six months on Asgard last year? And you two kept this from us?"

 

“Yes!” Steve yelled. He glared at the archer. “Yes. Okay. Look, you have no idea how thin of a line Darcy and I have danced the past two years!” he said angrily. “I was leading the Avengers and had to sneak away to see my own wife and kids while she tried to be there for all of you without letting any of you know she was a mom! We had to coordinate our movements so no one would know we even knew each other, while also finding time to spend together and with our family. And it sucked! So I'm glad the secrets are all out now! Darcy and I are married. Darcy and I have a daughter. As of last September, Darcy and I have a son.”

 

“It was a boy?” Bucky interjected.

 

Steve’s anger melted slightly and he smiled. “Yeah. He’s a handsome little fella.”

 

“Aww,” cooed Wanda. “What’s his name?”

 

Steve grimaced. “Darcy threatened me not to tell anyone without her.”

 

“You still haven't answered,” Clint said, agitated, “why. Why keep everything a secret for so long in the first place?” Clint dropped his anger and pleaded.

 

Steve stared directly into Clint’s eyes. “The Accords.”

 

Confusion swam in Clint’s eyes.

 

Steve looked down. “It was Yggdrasil that called Darcy to come to the garden and find Frigga. Darcy is an acolyte of Yggdrasil, one that’s highly favored for being so young. Yggdrasil warned her that very day to keep our relationship and our children secret from everyone on Earth. Jane and Erik already knew, so they were exempt. We wanted to tell the Avengers as well, but for some reason, Yggdrasil was very firm that you couldn’t know! Darcy had to beg and plead just to let Natasha know about Frigga, and Yggdrasil only agreed on the condition that my part was left out.”

 

“Why?” asked Natasha, genuinely confused.

 

“Because the true purpose of the Accords is to build an army of superpowered individuals!” Steve revealed in a strained voice, startling the other heroes. “And it wouldn’t have been us. We’re adults. We can make our own decisions.” Steve paused. “But if he got them young enough, he could condition them. Don’t you see? He wanted _kids_.” Steve said heavily.

 

“Two years. It all led up to this. We wanted to tell you _so much_ ,” Steve said with a waver in his voice. “Several times, we almost did, despite Yggdrasil’s warning. Then Darcy came back from Asgard after giving birth, and as soon as she did, she got wind of the Accords. We knew that was why. You think the Accords were created recently?” Steve asked them sarcastically.

 

“Thaddeus Ross was the one who proposed them to the UN, and he started them _years_ ago, probably right after the Battle of New York when he came to collect Bruce Banner for being the Hulk and was denied. Yggdrasil knew that,” Steve proclaimed. “And it knew how it would play out.”

 

Steve looked down. “There’s a section in the Accords about minors with powers. It’s deliberately convoluted, but it basically talks about moving children with special abilities into government care. That’s why I tried to tell everyone not to sign, but Tony...I could see he’d made up his mind. I couldn’t take the chance. Maybe if Tony knew he wouldn’t have agreed to the Accords, but by then, we were being watched. I couldn’t let them know,” Steve spoke morosely. “It wouldn’t have made a difference if we’d told you then anyway. Some time before, Darcy discovered that all of the documents with the necessary evidence - with details of their plans - disappeared. It’s not about what you know,” Steve said bitterly, “only what you can prove. And we couldn’t prove it. Not then.”

 

“Steve,” Sam said. “What you’re saying can’t be true. It’s - that’s - parents wouldn’t,” Sam floundered.

 

 _“It’s already happened!_ ” Steve nearly shouted. “Ross was put in charge of the Accords and Acting Liaison, so the kids were put under his control. Darcy sent me a message about her team rescuing a dozen kids from a training facility set up by Ross and it was-” Steve cut himself off and shook his head.

 

“My kids,” Clint whispered, frowning in worry.

 

Steve shook his head. “Ross isn’t interested in them beyond how he can use them against you. They don’t have powers, but mine _do_. Frigga is human, but she still retains her Asgardian magic, and we found out while Darcy was still pregnant that our son would have the super soldier serum. Ross has been obsessed with that serum for over a decade.”

 

Steve’s face was exhausted. “Think. The public couldn’t know about my kids because we were still trying to figure out a way to protect them. None of you could know because if you did, you’d have wanted them in your lives. Which is _great,_ ” Steve said. “Except that somewhere along the way, someone would have slipped. Someone on the outside would have found out, and it’d have gotten back to Ross and the government. True, we could always leave Earth,” Steve said sadly, “but this is our home.” He shook his head. “If they knew about my kids, I’d have either been forced to hand them over myself or been declared an unfit parent and Ross would've taken them anyway.”

 

He looked back and forth between the Avengers. “He would _take_ my _kids_. The Accords made that legal.”

 

Steve sighed and shook his head. “The only way was to keep their existence a secret from the world, but _don’t_ ,” Steve's tone hardened, “for one second think that we didn’t tell you because we don’t trust you. Darcy and I trust each and every one of you,” Steve said. His body relaxed at the admission before he said fervently, “but we love our kids more.” He closed his eyes. “We were trying. To keep them. _Safe_.”

 

The heroes all looked down, lost in thought. Wanda was bent over with her hands covering her face, shaking. Clint was gritting his teeth and getting angrier by the second. Bucky was still as marble, hiding all of his thoughts. Scott was tapping his fingers on the table at an impressive rate. Sam had his arms crossed, eyes moving from left to right as though searching for some other answer. Natasha had her eyes closed, one hand covering her mouth. And T’Challa was deeply disturbed.

 

“My country signed the Accords,” he said. “We pulled out after I returned from Siberia, but...I am sorry,” he told Steve, looking him in the eye.

 

Steve nodded. “You didn’t know.”

 

T’Challa’s face became rigid. “I should have.”

 

Natasha dropped her hand from her mouth. “Without solid proof," she said, gaining their attention, "Rhodes would have told because he’s military. Stark is unable to keep anything secret for long, even if he wants to. Vision would think it a logical precaution. Sam, as much as I like you,” said Natasha, “you are horrible at losing a tail. Clint, you wouldn’t have been able to keep it secret from the others who couldn’t keep it a secret, and Wanda was already under surveillance because of her own powers,” she summed up. She looked down at her lap and took in a breath. “I would have told them thinking I could use it to our - to my advantage.” She huffed a deprecating laugh. “I almost told them about Frigga anyway,” she revealed. “I didn’t because I thought it had no bearing on the other Avengers.” She paused. “And because Darcy asked me not to.”

 

Steve looked at her with a steady gaze. “Natasha. Darcy and I trusted you with Frigga. Even if we didn’t tell you the truth, we trusted you with our daughter. That was not a mistake. You never betrayed us, so don’t beat yourself up,” Steve said gently.

 

He looked at his watch and saw there was only twenty-eight seconds left. He looked up at the others. “It’s almost time.” Steve said hesitantly, “I’m sorry I had to lie to you all for so long.”

 

“Don’t,” said Clint in a low voice. “I kept my family secret for three years before letting the Avengers know.” Clint raised his head and looked Steve in the eye. “Don’t ever be sorry for protecting your family.”

 

Scott nodded. “Same. Besides, you barely know me.”

 

T’Challa folded his hands. “Agreed. You did no wrong.”

 

Bucky snorted. “When would you have told me?” he asked as he sunk low in his chair.

 

Steve looked at Natasha. She looked away and Steve knew that she was more upset with herself than anything. Steve looked past her at Sam.

 

Sam had his arms crossed and was regarding Steve with an unfathomable expression on his face. “We need to talk. Later. Right now, your girl’s about to turn on her side of the video chat. Yeah?”

 

Steve turned his head down to stare at his watch. Four. Three. Two. One.

 

The high-pitched, frequent beeping sounded and Steve looked up at the screen expectantly.

 

His watch’s alarm continued as the top half of the screen stayed resolutely black. The Avengers held their breath, waiting. Steve mechanically fingered his watch to turn off the alarm, never looking away from the screen.

 

“Steve,” T’Challa gently asked. “What was your plan if Darcy didn’t contact us?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is so much more to be written that will clear up so many questions, but remember this is all supposed to happen in 30 minutes, and I know that I already went over that limit with what I have, so...next time.
> 
> Remember, please be kind in your comments!


	5. Reactions: 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which we see some tweets.
> 
> OR
> 
> Everyone has something to say.
> 
> Familiar faces pop up.
> 
> Social Media starts a revolution.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter was received so much better than I thought and I am so super happy about it! That being said, I had a couple days of writer's block on this and the next chapter, but today, inspiration struck! It's a short chapter, but the next one should be much longer and hopefully out in the next couple of days.

Miranda and Justin _@OfficialAvengerFollowers_

Have opened a new group tweet at #AvengersLiveChat

 

Miranda and Justin _@OfficialAvengerFollowers_

Okay, Everyone! Are you ready? Remember, this chat is open to anyone. Please feel free to tweet your reactions, questions, and any insights you may have during this live chat given by Captain Rogers and his fellow heroes!

 

Cody Stark _@iamcodystark_

I am so pumped for this! IT’S STARTING!

 

Stewie Long _@thestewielong_

 _@iamcodystark,_ why are you pumped? You realize that there are BOMBS waiting to EXPLODE if something goes wrong, right?

 

Yolanda Gutierrez _@iamyogurl_

Why isn’t Captain America wearing his uniform?

 

Jessica Tome _@the_jessica_tome_

Okay, I don’t care how big and bad the Winter Soldier is, Bucky Barnes is still hot, his metal arm is awesome, and I wanna touch it. Just. _Touch!_

 

Tim Thomas _@timmytommytug_

Well, that’s 4 bombs down. However many left to go.

 

James Goode _@dogooderjames_

HOLY SHIT I LIVE ON RUE SAINT-LOUIS! I GRABBED A BAG OF SHIT AND AM LITERALLY RUNNING AWAY FROM A BOMB AND I CAN HEAR THE SIRENS NOW!

 

Mary Anne Silt _@merryannesings_

I hope _@dogooderjames_ and everyone around that area is safe!

 

Sierra Staccato _@SilenceIsLoud_

Wow, this is guy’s story is actually pretty sad. I’d feel bad for him if he wasn’t totally psycho.

 

Stewie Long _@thestewielong_

Grief is acceptable. Being angry is acceptable. Even hating the ones responsible is acceptable. Taking that anger and hatred out on innocent people is NOT acceptable.

 

Mary Anne Silt _@merryannesings_

Cap and the others seem genuinely sorry for what happened in Sokovia. You know, they gave several press releases and a Q&A last year after it happened, but this seems more authentic without a script.

 

Stewie Long _@thestewielong_

When the bad guy tells you their enemy is innocent, then it’s probably true. _#BuckyBarnesisahero_

 

Stewie Long _@thestewielong_

SEE! He was framed! _#BuckyBarnesisaHero #hewasbrainwashed #BuckyBarnesisinnocent_

 

Cody Stark _@iamcodystark_

Oh shit, Barnes murdered Tony Stark’s parents. _#shitjustgotreal_

 

Chris Bride _@capfan2888_

Bucky Barnes and Howard Stark were actually friends in WWII. Can you imagine how both Bucky Barnes and Tony Stark feel? _#AvengersHaveFeelingsToo_

 

Cindy Murray _@captainamericaluver4life_

You tell him Cap! _#AvengersWillRise_

 

Sierra Staccato _@SilenceIsLoud_

Who the hell is Zemo talking ab...Who the hell is that?

 

Miranda and Justin _@OfficialAvengerFollowers_

No! Not Darcy Lewis!

 

Cody Stark _@iamcodystark_

 _@OfficialAvengerFollowers_ Who?

 

Tim Thomas _@timmytommytug_

Woah! Strong reactions there. Guess that chick really is important. Except WHO IS SHE?!

 

Mary Anne Silt _@merryannesings_

OMG! Cap has a girlfriend? Why didn’t we know about this?

 

Mary Anne Silt _@merryannesings_

Oh God! Please don’t let Zemo kill her and make the Avengers watch.

 

Stewie Long _@thestewielong_

Is it just me, or does Cap actually look pretty scary when he’s angry?

 

Cindy Murray _@captainamericaluver4life_

SHE’S PREGNANT??!! THAT MONSTER!

 

Cody Stark _@iamcodystark_

Did Steve Rogers just crush a table with his bare hands? _#shitjustgotreal #again_

 

Miranda and Justin _@OfficialAvengerFollowers_

Not much is known about Darcy Lewis, but there is enough evidence to show that she is a staple in the Avengers lives. For anyone wondering: Yes, apparently she is always that irreverent. _#IrreverentDarcyLewis #DarcyLewisHasAPlan_

 

Cody Stark _@iamcodystark_

Why is she singing? _#SoConfused #whatishappening #somanyquestions_

 

Cody Stark _@iamcodystark_

_#SOMANYQUESTIONS_

 

Cindy Murray _@captainamericaluver4life_

My whole reaction to this can be summed up by: da fuq? _#somanyquestions #whatishappening #ProtectiveBlackWidow #ProtectiveHawkeye #SmartT’Challa_

 

Yolanda Gutierrez _@iamyogurl_

Is it wrong that I find the other Avengers threatening and cursing Captain America super entertaining? _#DarcyLewisisimportant #CapsInTrouble_

 

Jessica Tome _@the_jessica_tome_

Did Steve just say what I think he said?

 

Cindy Murray _@captainamericaluver4life_

NOOOO! He’s married?! My heart is breaking. _#MarriedCaptainAmerica_

 

Sierra Staccato _@SilenceIsLoud_

I really want to hate Darcy Lewis on principle for marrying one of the hottest men on earth, but then I’d just be petty.

 

Cindy Murray _@captainamericaluver4life_

Don’t worry _@SilenceIsLoud_ we can still call her a lucky bitch _#itsnotpetty_

 

Nunya Bizness _@thisisconspiracy101_

HA! Steve Rogers is married! I knew it because he NEVER looks at any of the women around him! So it was either that or he was gay, but then he never looked at any men either. Of course the public would never know about his relationship, but I am surprised the other avengers didn’t know. _#MarriedCaptainAmerica_

 

Mary Anne Silt _@merryannesings_

What does Black Widow know? And those are all very good questions, Hawkeye. _#somanyquestions_

 

Jessica Tome _@the_jessica_tome_

Songs as codes? That’s actually pretty smart. And Rogers seems to have a lot of faith in his wife. God, that’s so weird he’s married. _#MarriedCaptainAmerica #DarcyLewisHasAPlan_

 

Stewie Long _@thestewielong_

Darcy Lewis seems to be very well connected, doesn’t she? _#DarcyLewisisimportant_

 

Cody Stark _@iamcodystark_

I am googling Darcy Lewis _#WhoisDarcyLewis_

 

Sierra Staccato _@SilenceIsLoud_

Did we know that Hawkeye is married with kids? _#bombshell #MarriedHawkeye_

 

Tim Thomas _@timmytommytug_

Objectively speaking, Darcy Lewis sounds kind of awesome. I wonder if those things are actually true?

 

Chris Bride _@capfan2888_

As an employee of Stark Industries, I can confirm the existence of the Lewis Method and that it has indeed increased the company’s productivity. _#TheLewisMethod #DarcyLewisisimportant_

 

James Goode _@dogooderjames_

I just got to a friend’s house I can stay at, and dear god did I miss a lot. SECRETS! Steve Rogers is going to reveal secrets! I’m with the bug guy, I’m getting popcorn. _#isitwrong #iwannawatch #thisisentertaining_

 

Cody Stark _@iamcodystark_

She tased Thor? I really can’t imagine that working.

 

Amy Darning _@Mythologynerd202_

I’ve been researching various mythologies ever since the Battle of New York, with a focus in Norse Mythology. I can’t even begin to describe how happy I am to hear some of this explained. Does anyone know if Thor or the Avengers have social media so I can ask them questions?

 

Miranda and Justin _@OfficialAvengerFollowers_

 _@Mythologynerd202_ Thor does have a twitter and tumblr account, but both have been inactive for several months while he’s been off of Earth. Other than that, only Steve Rogers, Bruce Banner, Sam Wilson, and Scott Lang have tumblr. Sam Wilson and Scott Lang also have a twitter. Tony Stark, of course, has every type of social media available. If the others are on social media, we don’t know about it.

 

Giorgio Tsoukalos _@TheGiorgioTsoukalos*_

Really? Even Captain America knows that meme? Will I never escape it? _#FML_

 

James Goode _@dogooderjames_

I’m surprised and impressed with how observant Steve Rogers was when first waking up.

 

Mary Anne Silt _@merryannesings_

Oh, poor Steve Rogers. I never thought about it like that. _#SadSteveRogers_

 

Nunya Bizness _@thisisconspiracy101_

Seriously, this treatment of a National Icon and Hero should have clued somebody in that there was something up in SHIELD. _#HydraSucks_

 

Stewie Long _@thestewielong_

Nobody just coming out of a war and likely suffering from PTSD should be so isolated. It’s not healthy. SHIELD should have made sure Captain Rogers had the emotional and mental support he needed. I’m glad he found it in Darcy Lewis or who knows what would have happened to him. _#DarcyLewisisimportant #mentalhealth #veterans #ptsdawareness_

 

Jessica Tome _@the_jessica_tome_

LOL Natasha Romanov! “Bullshit detector” Is that how you always know everything? _#BlackWidowisatroll #BlackWidowalwaysknows_

 

Cindy Murray _@captainamericaluver4life_

Oh. My. God. Captain America’s wife kicked him in the balls...I can’t even. _#ROTFLMAO_

 

Stewie Long _@thestewielong_

Historically speaking, Captain America has always had a thing for women who could kick his ass...and other places. _#BAMFwomen_

 

Cody Stark _@iamcodystark_

Seriously, WHAT IS OPERATION SPIDERZILLA?! We have a right to know these things!

 

Jessica Tome _@the_jessica_tome_

Actually _@iamcodystark_ you really don’t. It’s their business and no one else’s. I’m surprised that they’re even allowing us to know this much.

 

Chris Bride _@capfan2888_

I can’t help but think that Natasha Romanov laughing is one of the most spine-chilling things I’ve ever seen. Do you know what it takes to make that woman laugh? _#scaryNatashaRomanov_

 

Jessica Tome _@the_jessica_tome_

Is no one else going to comment on the fact that the Black Widow just called Captain America a slut? I think I’m in love with that woman. _#BlackWidowisatroll #BlackWidowalwaysknows #BAMFBlackWidow_

 

James Goode _@dogooderjames_

Whomping Willows...trees are real! That is awesome! And Captain America obviously knows about Harry Potter. More Awesome! _#HarryPotterfan_

 

Miranda and Justin _@OfficialAvengerFollowers_

We would just like it to be known that Darcy Lewis absolutely deserves to be a princess. _#PrincessDarcy #DarcyLewisisimportant_

 

Cindy Murray _@captainamericaluver4life_

Did they just prove reincarnation exists?

 

Jessica Tome _@the_jessica_tome_

Correct me if I’m wrong, but if Darcy is a princess, wouldn’t that give her diplomatic immunity?*

 

Stewie Long _@thestewielong_

Good question _@the_jessica_tome._ It would actually be called Sovereign immunity, but as Asgard is as yet an unrecognised sovereignty by other nations, neither she nor Thor would qualify. Obviously Asgard exists, but without official documentation of the sovereign state and its royal family, there is no legal precedence for alien royalty receiving immunity from the court system anywhere on earth.

 

Cindy Murray _@captainamericaluver4life_

Seriously you guys. Frigga was reincarnated. Does this matter to no one? And Captain America is her father! He’s a DAD you guys! This is huge! _#reincarnation #daddycap_

 

Chris Bride _@capfan2888_

CAPTAIN AMERICA HAS KIDS AS IN PLURAL! My mind is so blown right now. _#mindblown #daddycap_

 

Amy Darning _@Mythologynerd202_

I have so many questions for Yggdrasil. Yggdrasil if you can hear me right now, please talk to me. I just want to bask in your amazing beauty and intelligence. _#Yggdrasil #makemeanacolyte_

 

Millie Morales _@mommiemillie_

Excuse me? They want to turn children into mindless killing machines! As a mother of four, I cannot condone the Accords no matter what supposed benefits we gain. _#RepealtheAccords_

 

Benjamin Ross _@benrossthethird_

Even though he is of no relation, I am ashamed to share the name Ross with Secretary Thaddeus Ross. _#RepealtheAccords_

 

Cindy Murray _@captainamericaluver4life_

The Accords are wrong. They don’t allow help to go to those who need it. They identify individuals to the public where they are faced with hatred and fear for something they can’t control. And now they allow a tyrant to separate children from their families and turn them into hardened soldiers. _#RepealtheAccords_

  
...

 

 _#RepealtheAccords_ is now trending.

  
...

 

“Page!” Mitchell Ellison called to the strawberry blonde standing across from him at the office of the New York Bulletin. “I want you to comb through the Accords. Find that section and then dumb it down so the average joe schmo can understand it. Hendricks! Help her. I want to be the first paper to go in depth on this.”

  
...

 

“Parker! Parker! Where is that boy?” demanded J. Jonah Jameson. He looked around at the assembled staff of the Daily Bugle. Peter Parker had been standing there just a few minutes before. Jameson shrugged it off and started yelling orders to the other reporters, unknowing that Peter had slipped from the room and was leaning against the wall just out of sight.

 

Peter bent over and braced his hands on his knees, face screwed up in guilt. He shook his head. _He tried to tell me there was more going on that I didn’t understand,_ Peter thought. The next thought that popped into his head made his eyes go wide. _I’m still a minor!_

 

If Ross knew about his age, would Peter be taken from his Aunt May? She was the only one he had left, and he was all she had.

 

Peter shook his head, still able to hear the Avengers talk amongst themselves. Tony Stark wouldn’t give away his identity. Right? Peter tried to reassure himself, but decided then and there that he would be swinging by Stark’s tower later.

  
...

 

At the Avengers facility, in a lab set up with various monitors showing tracking programs, decryptions, and signal broadcasts, Tony Stark stared blankly at the image of his former teammates. Vision stood beside him with a small frown on his face. He was trying to repute Ms. Romanov's statements, yet he found them the most likely outcomes. For perhaps the first time, Vision found himself questioning his logic.

 

Rhodey slowly walked over to Tony on his robotic braces. The hand he placed on Tony’s shoulder seemed to snap Tony out of his whirlwind thoughts as he jumped slightly and turned his head to look at Rhodey.

 

Both of their eyes reflected their uncertainty. “Tony,” Rhodey started. “I’m not sure it was the right thing to do anymore.”

 

Tony simply blinked at him and then turned back to the screen. _Come on, Kiddo,_ he thought with desperation. _Please be okay._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *I have no idea if Giorgio Tsoukalos has a twitter and if he does what it would be. This is not it. I don't think...
> 
> *quadrad had brought this question up in a comment for the former chapter. To me, this actually makes sense considering the world's governments probably would not have made anything official for an alien prince since it would suit them to not give anything when Thor isn't asking. And Thor really doesn't seem the type to follow-up on Midgardian legalities. Stark might have had people do it for him, but if Thor's not getting in trouble, then they wouldn't know how far to take it, and, really, where would they even start? Like, how do they even get him a Visa?


	6. Your Argument is Invalid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Darcy has a plan.
> 
> OR
> 
> Darcy has kidnapping experience.
> 
> Steve is a tomato.
> 
> Darcy and Steve together are very entertaining.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got this chapter out tonight! It was actually supposed to be longer, but then it would be too long, so I split it into two chapters. This has finally made me realize that my story is super long, since I haven't even gotten to the good parts yet...hehehehe!
> 
> As usual, the characters are owned by Marvel, not me.

_“What was your plan if Darcy didn’t contact us?”_

 

Steve’s jaw clenched and his brows furrowed in determination. “Gauntlet Protocol.” Without looking at the others, Steve reached back for his phone.

 

Sam leaned forward to look at Steve sitting past Natasha. “What is the Gauntlet Protocol?”

 

Steve looked at him as he half stood, about to answer when a voice interrupted him.

 

“And here I was thinking you’d have more faith in me.”

 

Everyone turned back to the screen. The top half was no longer dark, but showed a grinning Darcy standing in the middle of two tables with multiple computers on them.

 

“Darcy!” they all yelled out.

 

“Sweetheart,” Steve said with a waver and a slightly relieved smile. “Are you okay? Are you hurt?”

 

The camera was far enough away from Darcy that they all had a decent view of the room she was in. It was the same generic room as before, though they could see that the room was very large and if they had to guess, it was a warehouse of some sort. Darcy and the tables holding surprisingly high tech equipment were about ten feet away from the camera at one end of the room. Behind her was a large open area with a garage door on the far wall directly behind her and double wide doors near the end of the longer, right hand wall.

 

Darcy herself seemed unharmed, though a little grubby in worn jeans, t-shirt, and black cardigan with the sleeves rolled up. Her hair was in a ponytail now, and her face was clean, though looking a little gaunt.

 

Darcy’s grin softened into a small smile. “I’m okay,” she answered. She placed one hand over her stomach. “ _We_ are okay.”

 

Steve’s face morphed into amazement as his whole demeanor brightened. “So,” he asked hesitantly. “You are…?”

 

Darcy sighed and rolled her eyes, though she still wore a smile. “Yes,” she said. “I’m pregnant. Again,” she added ruefully. “And you know I know exactly how it happened?” she stated with her hands on her hips. “Remember about a week before the airport fight, I had just come back from Asgard? Well, we were hosting some lords from Alfheim and they brought some of their Gylfan wine. Now,” Darcy said holding up her hand, palm out, “I have been careful with alien alcohol ever since our wedding, but I was made to believe the wine wouldn’t screw with my birth control.” Darcy scowled. “Now I realize that the person who told me,” she adopted a posh Asgardian accent, “ _All will be well, Darcy_ , was a dirty, rotten, lying liar who lies!”

 

Steve raised his brows at this and smiled in amusement. He shrugged. “I’m not complaining.” His dopey smile spread wider.

 

Darcy huffed and smiled again. “Of course you’re not. Anyway, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. It’s just...you know. A coded message or a brief phone call is not how I wanted to tell you,” she said softly. “I was going to come to Wakanda soon anyway. I thought I could wait and tell you in person. And in private.”

 

Steve smiled widely. “It’s okay. Just as long as you aren’t hurt. Where are you?” he asked after a slight pause.

 

Darcy shrugged with one shoulder. “Somewhere in Europe? Don’t know really. I haven’t checked yet. I’ve been busy doing other more important stuff.” She smiled at him reassuringly. “Don’t worry though. I’m perfectly fine. Seriously, this was a piece of cake. I mean, do you _know_ how many times I’ve been kidnapped?” she asked sarcastically. She stepped towards one of the tables and picked up a tablet and began to type furiously.

 

“More than I’d like,” Steve replied dryly.

 

“Eighty-three,” supplied Natasha.

 

The others looked at her in surprise and Darcy paused in her typing. Natasha continued to stare blankly at Darcy’s image. “You’ve been kidnapped eighty-three times in the last five years.” She frowned slightly. “Unless there’s an incident I don’t know about.”

 

Darcy’s eyes turned up as she hummed and tapped her bottom lip. “Well, there was the time Steve and I got kidnapped together and then busted our way out, so you don’t know about that time.”

 

“Eighty-four, then. Including this time.”

 

“And,” continued Darcy with a wicked smirk in Clint’s direction. “There was the time when you had to go on the Colorado mission and left Clint in charge of me because I’d fractured my wrist and was high on the good drugs. He persuaded me not to tell you because he knew you’d kick his ass if you found out I’d been kidnapped on his watch.”

 

Clint gaped at her. “Darcy! You little snitch!”

 

“Clinton Francis Barton!” Natasha snapped at him. “Twenty-four hours! I was gone twenty-four hours! All you had to do was watch her and make sure she didn’t do something so incredibly Darcy. You had one job and you _failed!_ "

 

Clint turned puppy-dog eyes on her. “Aww, come on Nat. That was three years ago! Besides, I got her back!” he gestured towards the screen showing Darcy ignoring them in favor of her computers and tablet. “She was only gone for five hours! And I bought her a deluxe sundae after.” Clint turned and glared at the camera. “We had a deal Darce! You don’t tell Nat, and I buy you all the ice cream!”

 

Darcy snorted and didn’t bother to look away from what she was doing. “Yeah, and I would’ve kept to that deal except Laura called and wanted me to make you pay for getting out of diaper duty the last three months.”

 

Clint grumbled as he rested his chin on his fist.

 

Steve rolled his eyes and then narrowed his eyes as he studied Darcy. “Darcy?” he said with his voice full of suspicion. “You seem very focused right now. You have a plan,” he stated simply, still frowning. Darcy didn’t answer him. “Please tell me you didn’t let yourself get kidnapped again.”

 

“Oh my god,” Darcy said in annoyance as she switched between typing on the tablet and checking one of the monitors to type something on its respective keyboard. “Are you never going to let that go? It was one time!”

 

“Two times! You let yourself get kidnapped two times!”

 

“The first time was totally necessary!”

 

“The first time was totally _not_ necessary.”

 

“I was a trojan horse!”

 

“You could have been killed!”

 

“You said we needed to get on the inside! So either you were a drama queen and there was another way to resolve the mission, _OR_ you doubted my ability to protect myself when I _did_ get on the inside. So, which is it?”

 

The heroes had all been turning their heads back and forth like some bizarre simile of a tennis match, but paused to look at Steve for his answer.

 

Steve held up his hand with his pointer finger raised, his mouth open for a retort. Then he visibly wilted, his face showing both exasperation and frustration. “This is another one of those questions where there is no right answer. Isn’t it?” he asked in a bland tone.

 

“Yup,” Darcy said, popping the “p”. She frowned at something on the tablet.

 

“Fine,” Steve said. “But the second time you let yourself get kidnapped, it was by the Italian mob, all to win a bet with Fury on whether or not you could talk your kidnappers into letting you go!”

 

“Okay, first,” Darcy said as she finally looked towards the camera and her own screen showing the Avengers. She held up one finger. “I was not pregnant when that happened. I would never put any of my babies in danger. Second,” she held up another finger, “it was a long time ago.”

 

“Three years isn’t that long,” Steve grumped.

 

Darcy raised one eyebrow. “With our lives, it’s like dog years. And third,” she held up her third finger and paused. “I totally _did_ convince my kidnappers to let me go, so your argument is invalid.” She turned back to her computers.

 

Steve growled in frustration as he looked heavenward and ran his hands through his hair before throwing them forward in supplication. “ _You. Are. Preg-nant!_ ” he shouted with wide eyes.

 

“I didn’t let myself get kidnapped!” Darcy yelled at him. “Okay? Jeesh. Did you really think I would?” she asked him with big, sad eyes.

 

Steve sighed, his anger drained. “No, of course not. I’m just worried, and also a little suspicious because you seem very confident in what you’re doing.” Steve tilted his head to the side. “What _are_ you doing?”

 

Darcy grinned his way briefly before turning back to her work. “Well, while you guys have been doing your thing the last few months, I’ve been doing _my_ thing and trying to clear everything up with the Accords and all the legal rubbish. That’s how Zemo got me,” she explained calmly. “I’d come across his trail while researching the Winter Soldier triggers before handing off the info to Nat-Nat-”

 

“You?” interrupted Sam. “You’re the one who found all the locations of the triggers?” He looked at Natasha for confirmation.

 

Natasha shrugged. “It was a joint effort,” she stated.

 

Darcy nodded. “Anyway, I stumbled upon him and knew he was up to no good, so I started investigating him from a distance. He tricked me with a false trail though, and was able to get me while I was resting in a motel room two days ago. Still, you know I’m always prepared. I decided that while I was here, I’d make the most of it!” Darcy smiled triumphantly. “When he told me what he was going to do, I decided to use it to my advantage and try to get the last bit of evidence I needed. It’s actually a good thing this is being shown to everyone. Now I don’t have to send out an alert to everyone’s device. I can just say what I need to and everyone will know.”

 

Steve raised a brow. He and his teammates all had varying looks of confusion. “I don’t understand,” he stated.

 

“Basically,” Darcy stated. “I am again earning my title of Avenger’s Avenger and putting to use my degree in badassery.”

 

This statement was met with skepticism.

 

“I suppose I should tell you all where the rest of the bombs are first,” Darcy decided. Without giving any of the Avengers time to react, Darcy walked towards the camera and then out of sight. She came back quickly pushing a rolling chair with Hammond Zemo tied to it with a bunch of colorful scarves.

 

Darcy positioned Zemo directly in front of the camera. He was gagged, blindfolded, and had pink, foam earplugs sticking out of his ears.

 

The Avengers exchanged bewildered looks.

 

Darcy smiled complacently as she stood behind Zemo and removed the gag, plugs, and finally the blindfold. Zemo blinked several times in shock as he looked directly at the camera. Darcy tapped him on the shoulder to get his attention.

 

“Excuse me, Mr. Kidnapper? I have a couple questions for you,” Darcy said, smiling all the while.

 

Zemo looked up at Darcy with a bit of confused apprehension. Darcy pulled a leather-bound notebook from behind her and opened it up. “I’m pretty good at deciphering messy handwriting, but I’m still learning Sokovian.” She leaned down so Zemo could read the script and then pointed to various parts of the page. “Is this meant to be the equivalent of an ‘n’ or a ‘p’? And is this one an ‘i’ or a ‘y’ or a ‘ts’?”*

 

Darcy looked at him expectantly while he looked up at her and then back down at the book. His face screwed up in anger. “That is mine!” he shouted. “How did you get that?”

 

Darcy looked at him solemnly while she said, “Oh, I used a very ancient and secret art.” Her eyes turned to the camera and she winked.

 

Steve rested his arms on the table in front of him and then propped his chin in his hand. “You picked his pocket.”

 

“I picked his pocket,” Darcy agreed.

 

“You-” Zemo started to yell.

 

“Dude, you need to be more observant,” Darcy interrupted boldly.

 

Steve smirked. “You know, sometimes I worry I married a kleptomaniac.”

 

Darcy grinned at him. “Well, I do have a tendency to steal everyone’s thunder. And you,” she turned back to Zemo, “you can’t really complain. I mean, you wrote this crap down. You were asking for this. And by the way, what kind of villain keeps a diary anyway?” she asked nonchalantly, flipping through the pages. “You just lost so much respect right there. Seriously, _you_ are an embarrassment to bad guys everywhere.”

 

Scott leaned towards Steve. He whispered, “This is your wife? Dude, she’s freaking awesome.”

 

Now,” Darcy said sternly to a fuming Zemo and flipping back to the correct page. “Which letters are these?”

 

Hammond Zemo sneered at her. “Like I would tell you.”

 

Darcy raised her brows in incredulity before her face dropped into a narrow-eyed glare. Before he could say anything else, Darcy’s hand shot out and grabbed his ear, twisting it.

 

“Ow!” Zemo let out in surprise before gritting his teeth.

 

“Listen here, Hammy,” Darcy started. “I have had enough of your bullshit! First you kidnap me, then you threaten to kill me, and now you don’t even have the decency to lose with grace and dignity. Because that’s what you’ve done. You’ve _lost_ ,” Darcy stated. “Now, you are going to tell me what letters these are so I can tell everyone where you hid the bombs because if you don’t, I _will_ make you regret it.”

 

Zemo smiled viciously. “Are you going to torture me?” he asked with relish.

 

Darcy smiled, showing her teeth. “In a way. You see, physical torture is so ineffective. However, mental torture works wonders.” Darcy released his ear and fluttered her eyes. “Because once you learn something, _really_ learn it, images popping into your mind and sounds reverberating in your ears...you can never _un_ learn it.” Darcy paused to let that sink in. She bent down to the side of Zemo so their face were even. She smiled wickedly. “I’m going to tell you all about Captain America’s sex life,” she stated.

 

Zemo’s face went slack at this.

 

The Avengers had much the same reaction. Bucky even coughed on his own spit. Steve bowed his head and hid his face in his hands.

 

Darcy kept her gaze on Zemo’s and continued in a slow, silky voice. “I’m going to tell you in so much detail that you will either spend the rest of your life fully aware of your inadequacy and impotence...or you’ll get a hard on at just the thought of him.” Darcy stood up and stalked slowly around Zemo’s chair to the other side, smiling at him. “Now wouldn’t _that_ be awkward; to be lusting after a man you hate. But you just won’t be able to help it.” She shrugged innocently.

 

When Zemo stayed silent, eyes reflecting just a bit of horror, Darcy smiled giddily. “Let’s see, should I start with foreplay, like the way he'll run his fingers oh so lightly over skin?" A slight tremor went through Hammond Zemo. "Or should I just go in for the kill? I know, I’ll tell you about Steve’s penis first. It’ll no doubt put yours to shame. You know I once bribed him into letting me measure it? It’s-”

 

“It’s an ‘p’!” Zemo snapped with wide eyes. Darcy looked at him with a silent urge to continue. “The first letter you asked about was ‘p’. The second was an ‘i’.”

 

Darcy beamed at him, her sultry voice turning peppy once again. “Thank you! That’s so helpful.”

 

Darcy turned to grin at the Avengers. Steve had his shoulders hunched, head shaking back and forth still hidden in his hands. His forehead and the tips of his ears were pink. Natasha had her mouth open in a shocked, joyful smile, but the others were staring at Darcy bug-eyed. Quite a few of them had blushed and there were even a couple dropped jaws.

 

Clint cleared his throat. “That was the most unusual interrogation technique I have ever witnessed, but damn did it work fast,” he said, still wide-eyed.

 

Bucky looked at Steve with a shit-eating grin. “Did you really let her measure your penis?”

 

Natasha openly cackled while Sam started choking on his laughter. Wanda covered her mouth with both hands, her shoulders shaking with repressed laughter. Slowly, the heroes started to snicker at Steve, faces turning red and lips downturned trying not to smile.

 

Steve hunched down further. Slightly muffled, he groaned, “Darcy, why?”

 

Darcy shrugged, completely unabashed. “It worked didn’t it? Some men just can’t stand to hear about another man’s penis.”

 

Bucky let out a short bark of laughter. “Stevie, I’m in love with your wife! She’s got the most moxie I’ve ever seen in a woman!”

 

Darcy beamed at him. “Why thank you, Bucky Bear.”

 

Darcy stared intently down at the book. “Okay. Let’s get this finished, shall we? Sao Paulo, Brazil. In the airport. East wing. In a fake plant. Tunis, Tunisia. Under a pier.” Darcy looked up at the camera. “Sorry, it’s not very specific is it? Hopefully local police can find them fast.”

 

She turned back to the book.

 

“Cape Town, South Africa. The Table Bay Hotel. In the elevator. Naples, Italy. Duomo di San Gennaro Cathedral. Under a pew. Lyon, France. Lycee Saint Marc. In one of the lecture halls. Portland, Oregon, the US. Washington Park. On the jungle gym. Bucharest, Romania. In the open market in a wooden crate. Hamburg, Germany. Under the Kohlbrand Bridge. Thessaloniki, Greece. The fountain in Central Park. Santo Domingo, The Dominican Republic. In a barrel in front of Pat’e Palo European Brasserie. Poznan, Poland. The Old Town Square. In an archway. Finally, Memphis, Tennessee, the US. In The Memphis Rock ‘n’ Soul Museum. In a piano.”

 

Darcy closed the notebook in satisfaction. “Everyone in those areas, please stay calm and vacate the area immediately. Let law enforcement handle the bombs, and everything should be okay. Zemo certainly isn’t going to be able to trigger the bombs by satellite,” Darcy said as she turned back to the Sokovian still tied to his chair.

 

The Avengers looked at Darcy proudly. Steve dared to lower his hands and gazed at his wife with a soft smile.

 

“Darcy,” Natasha asked. “Are you sure he’s secure?”

 

Darcy nodded firmly. “Yep, those scarves are made out of a special carbon fiber and synthetic polymer. He won’t rip through ‘em. They’re strong enough to keep Steve tied up at least,” Darcy said simply with a shrug.

 

The Avengers stared at her. Steve’s faded blush returned as he inhaled quickly. He closed his eyes and just dropped his head.

 

Zemo spluttered behind her. “You mean...” he looked down at the scarves with horror. Darcy looked at him with a raised eyebrow. “That is disgusting!” he shouted.

 

Darcy let out a short, but loud, burst of laughter. “No, that’s hot,” she said simply. “It’s also how I got pregnant. Besides, you should feel honored. Do you know how much I could sell those scarves for on ebay now?”

 

The others turned from Darcy to Steve.

 

Sam regard him with a sly smile. “Tied up, huh?”

 

“Shut up,” Steve muttered without looking at anyone, his Irish heritage betraying him with a burning face. Natasha snickered.

 

“Hey,” Bucky said innocently in a high pitched voice. “I didn’t know your face could turn that red!”

 

Clint laughed loudly. “Okay, I’m upset about not knowing about you two for an entirely different reason now. I feel like I have missed out on so many entertaining moments like this. Hey, Lang!” Clint shouted to the other end of the table. “Got any more popcorn?”

 

“I’m fresh out,” Scott said, holding up his empty bowl.

 

Darcy tilted her head to side as she watched the Avengers torment Steve. “Hey guys, while we’re on the subject...You’re not mad at me, are you? Or at Steve? I’m the one who convinced him not to tell anybody since I was the one Yggy ordered to keep everything secret.”

 

The others dropped their amused smiles and looked at Darcy. Clint shook his head. “Nah, Darce. We’re not really mad at you or even Steve. Well, maybe a little. We’re just,” Clint looked down the table, “kinda upset at the whole situation.”

 

Darcy nodded in understanding. “I’m really sorry if that helps. Plus, you get to meet our kids now!” she said excitedly. “Frigga’s been dying to meet you all ever since she could recognize you in pictures.”

 

Sam leaned forward in interest and looked at Steve out of the corner of his eye. “In pictures? You told your kids about us?”

 

“Duh,” Darcy said with a hand on her hip while she waved the other. “Even if you couldn’t meet, we still wanted them to know their aunts and uncles.”

 

Steve nodded. “Frigga’s already asked if ‘Birdie’ could take her flying.”

 

Sam’s face lit up. “Well,” he stated as he sat up proudly. “I suppose I can’t really be that mad at you guys.” He paused. “But I’m still a _little_ mad.”

 

Darcy tilted her head to the side again. “Would you be less mad if I showed you all a video of Steve in his Captain America uniform doing the nae nae?”

 

Steve sighed and leaned his head back at this.

 

Bucky frowned. “What’s the nae nae?”

 

“It’s a dance,” Sam informed. “You know how to nae nae?” he asked Steve, grinning.

 

“Darcy made me learn.” He looked at the screen and frowned at his wife. “She bribed me to let her record it on the condition that it would never go on the internet.”

 

“Darcy,” Natasha asked, “are you trying to buy our forgiveness with embarrassing videos of Steve?”

 

“That depends,” Darcy answered, straight-faced. “Is it working?”

 

Clint answered, “That depends. Do you have any _more_ embarrassing videos of Steve?”

 

“Clinton Francis Barton!” Darcy exclaimed in shock. “Steve is my _husband_.”

 

Clint pouted in disappointment while Steve aimed a smug smile at him

 

“Of _course_ I have more embarrassing videos of Steve,” Darcy finished with a grin. She laughed along with everyone but Steve. “Don’t worry, babe,” she told him. “I think you’re adorable, and I promise I’ll share the embarrassing videos I have on the others.”

 

The others scoffed and ribbed her for playing favorites. “Booooo!” Natasha jeered mockingly.

 

Darcy laughed and waved her arms at them. “Alright! That’s enough. I’ve got things to do still. Did you forget that there’s actually a point to this?” she asked.

 

Sam asked genially, “Oh yeah? And that would be?”

 

Darcy grinned that wicked smile of hers that bared her teeth. The term “sharklike” was never more apt.

 

“I’m about to digitally and verbally bitch slap Thaddeus Ross.”

 

Darcy paused and added, “Oh, and make sure my husband and band of superhero strays can come back home. Cause, you know, that’s important, too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *I used the Russian cyrillic alphabet for this, which is why those letter that don't seem similar are confused.


	7. You No Listen to Darcy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the Avengers are innocent.
> 
> OR
> 
> Darcy does her homework.
> 
> Tony Stark cares.
> 
> Darcy really likes tasing people.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for not updating sooner, but this week has been so crazy for me! I haven't had any time and I'm so glad I can finally take a break. On the upside, I have accomplished quite a few things this week, including applying for a new job. 
> 
> I also learned how to upload pictures, which you can see below. I had wanted earlier to make a panel of the Avengers in the order that they'd be seated so you all could visualize it easier, and I will be going back and posting it on the first chapter. In the future, I will be posting more pictures in the chapters! 
> 
> Finally, one of the reasons this chapter took so long is because I did quite a bit of research into laws that I could incorporate here and in the next chapter. Of course, I'm no lawyer, so I'm not actually sure if all of this would be true, but it makes sense, so for the sake of the story, let's say it is!

 

 

_“Cause, you know, that’s important, too.”_

 

Steve lifted an eyebrow and his lips twitched. “Oh, really?” he asked in amusement.

 

Darcy nodded firmly. “Yes.” She turned around and faced Hammond Zemo where he had been watching the proceedings with a frown and trying to slip free of his bindings. Darcy took a step forward and to the side of him.

 

“Say, ‘Nighty-night’,” commanded Darcy.

 

Zemo sneered, “Why would I-”

 

He never finished as Darcy reached her hand out and pressed two fingers up under his jaw near his neck. Zemo’s eyes widened before slipping closed and his body slumped forward. Darcy stepped back with a satisfied smile. “Well, that settles that.” Darcy grabbed the back of his chair and wheeled Zemo back out of sight of the camera.

 

Sam stared at the screen in surprise. “Did she just - how did…” He looked at Steve with pursed lips. “I’m not gonna lie. Your wife is seriously starting to scare me.”

 

Scott raised his hand briefly. “Seconded.”

 

T’Challa added, “Thirded.”

 

“Yep,” Wanda agreed.

 

“That’s probably smart,” Steve agreed easily as Darcy walked back to the screen.

 

She rubbed her hands together. “Okay, let’s get this party started!” she said excitedly. “Damn good thing I set all this up a couple of weeks ago or I’d never have had it ready for today.” Darcy looked at Steve. “Remember how I couldn’t find the evidence I needed to tear down the Accords?” Steve nodded. “Well, I found it.”

 

Steve sat up straighter. “You did? How?”

 

Darcy explained, “I talked to Daisy* and asked if she had any ideas. She came up with the idea that maybe the reason I can’t find them on any servers is because the information is no longer digital. Apparently Centipede did that a couple years ago.” Darcy said this like everyone would know what Centipede* was.

 

“Of course, that just provided a new problem of where the files could be. I had already hired, uhm,” Darcy coughed with a wide-eyed head tilt, “that _special PI_ I told you about, and she agreed to go retrieve the files if I could find the location.”

 

Steve nodded. “So where were they?”

 

Darcy shrugged. “The Pentagon.”

 

The heroes blinked as their faces went slack.

 

Darcy stared back at them.

 

Clint recovered first and leaned forward with a glint in his eyes. “Hey, Darce? How did you find out they were in the Pentagon?” he asked innocently.

 

Darcy narrowed her eyes at him. “Well, if you must know, it was very simple. While the files themselves were deleted, the record of the deletion itself still existed along with all of the commands previously inserted and administered to the files. All I had to do was find out where they were transferred. Turned out the the last time they were accessed it was by Ross in the Pentagon. All 316 pages were printed inside the Pentagon and, knowing Ross, would still be there. I checked and Ross requested storage of one 10 x 12 x 10 cardboard box in the Groves Vault* the same day the digital copies were deleted.”

 

Clint smirked triumphantly. “And how do you know all this?” he pushed. Darcy glared at him with her hands on her hips. The other heroes, other than Natasha and Steve looked confused.

 

T’Challa asked slowly, “Am I missing something?”

 

Clint grinned. “Oh you know, just exactly _how_ Darcy would know the inner workings of the Pentagon and of Ross’s actions within even though they’re supposed to be _secret_.”

 

Scott’s eyes went wide as he realized what Clint was hinting at. “You hacked the Pentagon?!” he yelled at Darcy in shock.

 

“Hack is an ugly word!” Darcy yelled back. She lifted her chin and said calmly, “I... _discovered_ the information by exploring the boundaries of the cybernetic world. It’s not _my_ fault if the United States government hires incompetent programmers to protect their secrets.”

 

Steve rolled his eyes. “Darcy.”

 

“Steve,” she returned.

 

Darcy and Steve stared at each other until Darcy looked away with a huff and roll of her eyes. “Fine,” she whined. “I promise I won’t hack the Pentagon...again...this year.” Steve still stared at her. Darcy held up her hands in a “what can you do” motion. “Hey, who knows what will happen next year. Besides, it’s not like I do it with malicious intent. It’s like the time Nat-Nat and I broke into Fort Knox.”

 

Scott, Sam, and Wanda gasped. T’Challa’s eyes widened briefly, but he was better at hiding his surprise. Bucky looked slightly impressed while Clint just looked amused.

 

Sam looked to the redhead sitting next to him. “You broke into Fort Knox? Successfully? Without getting caught?” he clarified.

 

Natasha nodded easily. “We did. It was just a bit of fun. Afterwards, we sent them a review with suggestions on how they could update their security.”

 

Scott looked back and forth between Natasha and Darcy until he exclaimed, “I wanna break into Fort Knox!”

 

Darcy and Natasha looked at each other and shrugged. Darcy turned back to Scott. “We’ll bring you along next time. Right, Nat-Nat?”

 

“They should have had time to implement the necessary changes. It’ll be fun, but remember,” Natasha gave Scott a hard stare. “You can’t take any of the gold.”

 

Bucky snorted. “Then what’s the point of breaking in?”

 

Natasha and Darcy both answered, “Bragging rights.”

 

“Oh, and some awesome selfies,” Darcy added. “And you get to touch all the shiny gold!” she said, clapping her hands together. “I made a chaise lounge out of gold bricks, which was actually not as awesome as it sounds.” Her smile drooped. “It was really uncomfortable and it gave me butt bruises.” She pointed to her behind in emphasis.

 

“Anyway, since I broke into Fort Knox, you should know breaking into the Pentagon was as easy as walking into a Walmart. Me and my PI buddy broke into the Pentagon, got the files, and then got out. I scanned and organized the files and wrote out explanations for various segments. Then I put it all on a private server that I could access anywhere on earth. Along with that information is everything I’ve worked on for the Accords and for you all as individuals. So now I’m all ready to commence with Operation: Bitch Slap. And yes,” Darcy said seriously. “That is its official name. I came up with it three months ago.”

 

“Darcy?” T’Challa questioned patiently.

 

Darcy perked up in interest. “Yeah, TC?”

 

“I feel as though I may regret asking, but,” T’Challa paused. “How exactly did you break into the Pentagon and get the files from the vault?”

 

The others turned back to Darcy. Steve frowned. “And when did you do this?” he asked.

 

Darcy sighed. “I did it about a month ago. Yes, I knew I was pregnant then. No, I didn’t tell anyone. No, I wasn’t in danger. Yes, I took precautions. And to answer your question TC, I walked in with my associate. We were in disguise. I used my skills to get us through to the vault. Then my associate used _her_ skills to get _into_ the vault. I used my talents of obfuscation and distraction to misdirect anyone we came across. Then!” Darcy paused for suspense. She shrugged. “We walked out. Ta-da!” She did jazz hands.

 

While the others stared at her like she was some confusing creature they had never come across before, Steve smiled widely.

 

Clint blinked again. “You just...walked out?”

 

Darcy smirked. “A guard even held open the door for me.”

 

There was silence for a moment before Sam whispered, “Un. Fucking. Real.”

 

Natasha laughed and applauded. “Moya sestra*, I am _so_ proud of you!”

 

“Well, Darcy,” Steve said as he leaned back and slouched in his chair, crossing his arms behind his head with a contented smile on his face. “In that case, please commence with Operation: Bitch Slap.”

 

Darcy smiled. “Excellent. Phase 1: Understanding how the Avengers work. The Avengers operate outside of the law, which is why the Accords were accepted by so many. It attempted to integrate the Avengers and other superheroes into the chain of command. However, the only reason the Avengers can be so efficient is _because_ they operate outside of the government. Without differing agendas and debates on whether they can act, the Avengers can focus on their main goal: protecting innocent lives. A lot of this includes information gathering, either by interrogation, spy work, or by informants. In fact, much of the work the Avengers do isn’t on the news. It’s behind closed doors, in an office or conference room, decrypting coded messages, sorting and researching through leads, training for various battle situations, and making estimated guesses on what place will be attacked, when, and by whom,” Darcy explained. “For everyone out there who thinks the Avengers’ job only involves punching people and blowing stuff up, you’re way wrong. What you get to see them do is a very small portion of the job.

 

“Now, I say it’s their ‘job’, but everyone seems to forget that they do this voluntarily and they don't get paid for it,” Darcy said. “None of the Avengers are contractually obligated to fight bad guys and save lives.”

 

She paused to let this sink in before saying in a more fervent tone, “They go into battle, by their own choice, and fight against aliens, mutant creatures, robots, and people who have no problem murdering innocent men, women, and children. They do this, knowing they will receive nothing in return except more fuel for their nightmares and more blood on their hands. They go even knowing every time that this fight could be their last. They spend time away from their families and their homes so that _yours_ is safe. They suffer extreme cold and heat, dehydration, hunger, exhaustion, broken bones and being shot, stabbed, blown up, and every other number of injuries that you can think of. Why? Because they know that if they don’t step up and fight, everyday people like you are going to be the ones to suffer.”

 

Darcy glared at the camera. “They do this all of their own free will. It’s their choice. They don’t _have_ to do it. They could choose at any time to stop.” Darcy narrowed her eyes. “I ask, who would you turn to then if aliens rained down from the sky? Or when the next supervillain held the world hostage? Hmm? Who would have the _ability_ to fight that kind of fight?” Darcy held her hands on her hips and raised an unimpressed brow. “And yet, they do it. They _still_ they fight for you, even though you, the general public, have crucified them. What does that tell you all?”

 

The Avengers were surprised at this turn in the conversation, but none of them could say it wasn’t welcome. Each of them sat up a little straighter at Darcy’s defense of their actions.

 

Darcy shook her head. “I believe I’ve made my point on that score, and if anyone wants to blame them for the disasters of the last few years, then you need to understand who’s _really_ responsible. First, the Chitauri invasion wasn’t their fault. It was going to happen whether they existed or not, so we’re all lucky that they _were_ there, _not only_ to keep the world from being invaded by aliens, but _also_ to prevent Manhattan from being blown up by a nuclear bomb, which is what the idiots on the World Security Council _tried to do_ until Iron Man diverted the nuke into the wormhole and destroyed the mothership where the Chitauri neural link’s command center was. That subsequently killed all of the aliens and stopped the invasion.

 

“Second,” Darcy ticked off, “the Convergence happens every five thousand years. It’s a natural phenomena that, again, would have occurred anyway in November 2013. The Dark Elves needed to come to Earth because Earth is the center of the Nine Realms and the aether could spread faster to the other parts of the universe that way. If Thor hadn’t come and stopped them, the universe would have returned to darkness, which means we’d all be dead,” Darcy said bluntly. “Again, not the Avenger’s fault. And don’t even get me started on the whole SHIELDRA mess!”

 

Darcy frowned angrily. “ _How_ could the Avengers _possibly_ be responsible for that? Yes, Captain America, Black Widow, and Hawkeye worked for SHIELD, but Steve only started in 2012, was given very little clearance, and was busy trying to catch up in the world. Hawkeye was recruited by a loyal SHIELD agent and worked separately from most agents on more classified missions. Black Widow came in as a renowned assassin only recently defected and, like Hawkeye, worked closely with a small circle of agents that all turned out to be loyal SHIELD agents. If it weren’t for the actions of Captain Rogers, Agent Romanov, and Staff Sergeant* Wilson, Project Insight would have proceeded as planned and three million lives would have been killed within twenty minutes. Seventeen million additional lives would have been lost in the next five hours. With the Insight helicarriers equipped with heavy artillery and advanced targeting, they would not have been brought down in time to stop the mass murder,” Darcy declared.

 

“It’s ironic actually.” She smiled without any humor and said lightly, “Most of the nations that signed the Accords would have had most, if not all, of their government leaders killed off in 2014 if it weren’t for Captain America...Great way to say thank you. Assholes.” Her face dropped into a glare again.

 

Darcy picked up a tablet and typed on it. “Oh, just so you’re aware, I’m actually posting this as we speak on Wikipedia. I know most people say you can’t trust the site, but seriously, thank Thor for Wikipedia,” she said with solemn wide eyes. “I also created a Facebook page. Just check out Avenger's Avenger and you’ll find everything on there.

 

“Moving on, we get the Ultron incident last year.” Darcy paused and tilted her head to the side. Her eyes unfocused and her voice took on a softer quality. “Ultron was a mistake, a big one. Tony Stark, the main creator, admits that, and he regrets it everyday.” Darcy looked back at the camera. “There is no justifying it. No way of making it right. And many people hate Tony Stark for it. What those people don’t fully realize is the emotion behind Ultron. Yes, people understand that the artificial intelligence was supposed to protect the earth. Ultron took that to mean that he had to destroy humanity to create peace. It was a mistake that has been portrayed in pop culture many times, and believe me,” Darcy grimaced, “I chewed Tony out for it.”

 

Her face softened again. “But that only answers the 'what' of Ultron, not the _why_. The why is because Tony Stark cares," Darcy stated bluntly. "A lot of people think he’s a narcissistic asshole, and admittedly he can be, but I know him. I know how much he cares, sometimes so much so that it hurts, and throwing up his arrogant personality is the only way he knows to protect himself.” Darcy took a deep breath and spoke with purpose. “Tony wanted to make Ultron, not just so that it could protect the earth, but so that the Avengers wouldn’t have to. He wanted his friends to be safe, too. He didn’t want the only group of true friends that he’s ever had to die. He didn’t want to have to watch that happen. So yes, he did something incredibly stupid. He messed with something he didn’t fully understand and couldn’t hope to control, but,” Darcy looked sadly at them, “everyone looses their minds a bit when it comes to the people we love.”

 

She looked down. “Does knowing that suddenly make everything alright? No. As I said, nothing will. There are ways you can make it _worse_ though,” Darcy said calmly. “If you punish Tony Stark and the Avengers, all of the innocent lives that they could save in the future will be lost. Tony has been trying for the last year to make up for his mistake. He’s donated billions of dollars, invented new tools and given them away for free to people who don’t have the basic necessities like clean water and shelter, and has been working himself to the bone to make the people whose lives he affected better than they were before.”

 

Darcy’s face turned disdainful. “You could demand he be punished by the law and sent to jail, but what would that accomplish? Nothing. And let me tell you, he doesn’t need you to tell him of his mistakes. He does it enough himself, and I will not have it anymore!" Darcy cried. "I have spent too much time keeping him from falling into a pit of depression and you will all _cease_ or I will make your lives _hell_ ,” she growled. “If you doubt me, oh,  _please_ doubt me.” Darcy’s voice turned to a dangerous whisper. “Don’t think I won’t be able to do it.”

 

Steve grimaced at this and a few of the others hunched their shoulders a bit. Darcy shook herself and continued on in a more level tone of voice.

 

“The most recent incidents can also be explained. Obviously Bucky Barnes is not responsible for the Vienna bombing, but the incident in Lagos that snowballed The Accords was never addressed by the Avengers*.” Here Darcy leveled a glare at the superheroes. “I _told_ Steve and Nat-Nat they should have held a press release to inform the public of their motives, but _noooo_ , you no listen to Darcy,” she mocked with a pursed mouth.

 

Steve opened his mouth, but before he could respond, Darcy preempted him. “Don’t you dare say it was classified information! Rumlow was killed, so it was no longer case sensitive. I warned you.” She pointed at him accusingly. “I warned you and Natasha and Tony and Rhodey and Clint and Sam! The public needs to be given some information so that they understand the necessity of your actions and continue to trust you to act in their best interests. I told you that earning their trust is easy, but you have to keep it and if you don’t give them a reason to trust you, eventually they are going to stop. Well guess what? _I was right!_ ” she yelled triumphantly.

 

The aforementioned heroes cringed as Darcy chastised them.

 

T’Challa cleared his throat. “Darcy, in the last few months, the incident has mostly been forgotten in light of more pressing matters, but I realize now that I was never given an explanation of the events in Lagos.” He turned and glared at Steve for a moment before turning back to Darcy. “Perhaps you can enlighten us?”

 

Darcy lifted her chin in a haughty manner. “I would be delighted to. You see, ever since Brock Rumlow, a high-ranking and very dangerous Hydra agent, had escaped from his hospital recovery room, the Avengers had been searching for him. They received information that he was spotted in Lagos, Nigeria. After some investigating, they found that he had met with a group of other Hydra field agents. The Avengers knew that they were planning something and researched local activity. The police station in Lagos had recently received a large shipment of high-grade weapons. Hydra had been struggling lately thanks to the efforts of the Avengers and their allies, so they believed the station to be the target and set up around it to try and catch Rumlow and the other Hydra agents so that they could be interrogated about the location and movements of the terrorist organization. Before the station was attacked, Captain Rogers observed a truck being driven where it shouldn’t and realized that they had the wrong target. The Avengers quickly mobilized to the Lagos Institute for Infectious Diseases.”

 

Darcy raised a brow. “Rumlow, who had been going by the name ‘Crossbones,’ was sent by Hydra to obtain a biological weapon; a man-made virus that was being studied at the institute in the hopes that it could eventually lead to stronger immune systems. However, the sample Rumlow got a hold of was one that, if released on a condensed population, would spread in a ratio of 1:13. That means that an infected individual would infect an average of thirteen other people who would each then infect thirteen people, and on and on and on. The virus would present itself as a flu for two to three days before the pain became unbearable from open sores on internal organs. Basically, the person would be eaten from the inside for several days before succumbing to internal bleeding and dying a most painful death.”

 

Darcy stared passively. “There is a cure being developed at this time, but it would not have been available on the large scale that Hydra had planned.” Darcy typed some more on her tablet. “The Avengers were able to stop the Hydra agents and regain the sample virus. During the subsequent fight, Crossbones goaded Captain America with information about James Barnes. When Captain Rogers was suitably distracted, Rumlow triggered a suicide bomb undervest he was wearing. The resulting explosion would have taken out not only Rumlow and Captain America,” Darcy said shakily. She took a steadying breath as she glanced up at her husband’s face, “but also the surrounding 100 yards in any direction. Hundreds of locals were still in the area and would have been killed if not for the Scarlet Witch. She attempted to contain the explosion in a force field. However, the force of the explosion turned out to be too great. Knowing that her force field would soon drop, Wanda Maximoff attempted to throw Rumlow and the bomb up into the air far enough that it wouldn’t reach any civilians.”

 

Darcy sighed. “She was unsuccessful. Wanda is still training and pushing the limits of her powers. Moreover, she cannot be held responsible for a bomb that she didn’t even set off. It was a no-win situation. There was going to be an explosion, either on the ground or in the air because she couldn’t contain it, and she can’t be blamed for that. I mean, can _you_ contain an explosion of that magnitude? Don’t demand of others what you can’t demand of yourself,” Darcy decreed. “Wanda tried to save innocent lives. She didn’t know the explosion would break through her barrier before she could clear it of the surrounding buildings. So, now that you know, what are your thoughts?”

 

King T’Challa stared at Wanda thoughtfully, who squirmed under his gaze. He turned to Steve and sighed. “I truly wish you had all taken Darcy’s advice and informed the public of this when it first happened. It does not make the deaths of my people and the others in that building lesser, but it is comforting to know that more lives were not lost that day,” he replied. “If what you say is true about the bomb’s blast range, then most likely, my people would have died even without the interference of Miss Maximoff.” T’Challa nodded. “As a king, I understand that sometimes there are situations where we will always lose, and all we can do is try to reduce the loss as much as possible. I do believe that the actions of the Avengers were justified in preventing a biological weapon from falling into the hands of people who would use it against innocent lives. Wanda’s attempt to stop the bomb was also admirable, and I do encourage her to keep practicing.” He gave her a small smile. “I hope if something like this happens again, you will have the training to be successful.”

 

Wanda looked at him with a thankful smile. Her shoulders relaxed at T’Challa’s forgiveness.

 

Darcy inserted softly. “Wanda’s actions would also be excused in court as well.” The others turned back to her. Darcy smiled. “The news accused her of acting without any authority, but that’s not strictly true. It’s how the Avengers work within the law. It’s called Good Samaritan laws. They protect civilians from legal repercussions if something happens when they’re just trying to help someone in danger. The Avengers' actions fall under this category since, even though they’re not really civilians, they don’t belong to any legal authority. Though, that law wouldn’t apply in different countries, only the United States. This is overcome in foreign countries by the tort law, Duty to Rescue,” Darcy explained. “All of the battles the Avengers have fought, even outside of the US, would have affected US citizens, and therefore that law can apply. If the Avengers had failed to come to the rescue in any of their battles then they could have been held accountable and faced legal backlash for _not_ acting when they were able to.”

 

Darcy smiled at the shocked looks on some of the Avengers faces. “I do my homework,” Darcy told them proudly. She sighed with a happy smile on her face. “So now that I have informally exonerated the Avengers, we can finally get down to the nitty gritty stuff.”

 

Darcy rubbed her hands again in anticipation and jumped on her toes a little. “So long! I have waited for this moment for so long!” She cracked her knuckles on each hand. “I get to tear down the Accords, idiot politicians, and Thunder-Ass Ross!” she squealed. Steve watched her in amusement and Darcy closed her eyes and got herself under control.

 

She went over to the computer and typed in a few commands. Without looking at the camera, she said, “I am still posting all evidence and explanations to Wikipedia and Facebook. Other social media sites are a little inconvenient to post to with so many pages. Hey Nat-Nat, check me,” Darcy ordered randomly.

 

Natasha pulled out her phone and fiddled with it for a moment before looking up. “You’re all over twitter.” Her lips turned up in her enigmatic smile. “And you’re trending.”

 

“Sweet!” Darcy replied. “Do you think I’ll be able to break the internet? I’ve always wanted to break the internet.”

 

“You’re getting there.”

 

“I’m sure what I bring up next will do it, you see-”

 

A bang echoed through the speakers from Darcy’s side of the video chat. She looked behind her at the double-wide metal doors. She turned back to the camera with a pout on her face. “Really?” she asked no one in particular. “Why do they have to interrupt now? I was just getting on a roll.”

 

Steve sat forward in worry as another bang echoed on the heavy, steel doors. “Darcy? What’s going on?”

 

Darcy waved away his concern. “Oh, just Zemo’s lackeys finally got organized and decided to come calling. I was wondering if they were actually going to do something or just quietly sneak off. You ask me, that would have been the smarter thing to do, but I guess these guys aren’t renowned for their brains if they joined up with Hammy.”

 

Darcy shuffled backwards until she could hop up and sit on one of the tables. She swung her legs back and forth. Another bang sounded and there was now a large dent in the door. “Steve, please stop worrying. You’ll get premature wrinkles.”

 

“Gray hair actually,” he remarked. “Darcy, do I need to remind you that you are pregnant? You can’t do any fighting.”

 

“I can do _some_ fighting, but don’t worry, I don’t plan on letting anyone get close.”

 

 _Bang!_ The door loosened on it’s hinges.

 

“Guns,” Steve said.

 

“Taken care of.” Darcy smiled. “I’ve got a plan. And a back-up plan. And a back-up for my back-up. So don’t worry. I got this.”

 

Another hit against the door nearly took the steel doors down.

 

“ _Darcy_ ,” Steve said with his face cringed in fear.

 

Darcy ignored him and started singing. “ _Will you walk into my parlour? said the spider to the fly. ‘Tis the prettiest little parlour that ever you did spy.”_ Steve blinked as he sat up straight and looked at the screen intently while Darcy’s voice went higher. “ _The way into my parlour is up a winding stair-”_

 

The double doors finally banged open and about a dozen men rushed through the doors and set up in an uneven line several yards away from Darcy. The audience could clearly see the men pointing guns at her as she remained unconcerned and sang on.

 

“ _And I’ve a many curious things to show when you are there._ ”

 

Without warning, Darcy held up her hand, in which was a small remote no one had noticed her slip from her pocket. She raised her other hand and pointed to the ceiling. “I’d look up if I were you,” she told the men before pushing the one button on the remote.

 

The men automatically looked up just as a giant net fell on them. They looked back down towards Darcy in confusion. Though the net was large and able to cover all of them, the rope was thin, the holes larges, and it didn’t really impede them.

 

One of the men asked her in a genuinely confused and lightly accented voice, “You thought this would work?”

 

Darcy beamed at him. “No, but I thought this would.” She pressed the button again and the men all let out strangled yells as their bodies convulsed with an electric shock. In fact, several sparks could be seen running along the net, which everyone could now see was made of a thick wire and not a thin rope like they had thought.

 

The electric shock lasted for about six seconds before every single man dropped to the ground unconscious.

 

Darcy hopped off the table and faced the camera with a wide smile. “They kept me here for two days in a locked room with no windows. I got bored after the first hour. So I escaped through the vent and explored the warehouse and adjoining offices a little. There was this huge roll of wire that was just begging me to pick it up, take it back to my cell and play with it. I figured a giant taser net would come in handy.” Darcy glanced back at the downed soldiers before looking back at the gobsmacked faces of the Avengers. “I really like tasing people,” she said with a grin. She shrugged her head to the side. “It’s kind of my shtick.”

 

Silence met this pronouncement until Steve grinned and threw out his hands towards Darcy.

 

“That’s my wife!” he proclaimed with an awed, open-mouthed smile.

 

Scott Lang pushed his chair back from the table and stood up. “That’s it.” He held his hands up in front of him and addressed the other heroes. “Steve, I am following Clint’s advice and never pissing off your wife. I will never argue with her and will do everything she tells me to do, and if you two fight, _I’m on her side!”_ he exclaimed, pointing at Darcy’s image on the screen.

 

Sam, Clint, and even Bucky all looked like they might agree with him, though they remained silent.

 

Steve looked at Scott with a blank face and just nodded his head slowly up and down. “That’s probably the smartest thing you can do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Daisy Johnson, formerly known as Skye, is the inhuman known as Quake with the power to tap into and create vibrations. She is a main character on the show, Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.
> 
> *Centipede was a project by Hydra to create super soldiers featured in the first season of Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.
> 
> *The Groves Vault is something I made up. I have no clue what the inside of the Pentagon looks like. However, Lieutenant General Leslie Groves is the one who oversaw the construction of the Pentagon, so I used his name as a tribute.
> 
> *Moya sestra is "my sister" in Russian.
> 
> *We were never given Sam Wilson's rank in the Air Force in the MCU, but I did a bit of research and believe that this is a very possible rank for him.
> 
> *I always thought it was really stupid how the Avengers just didn't tell the public what happened. I feel like they would be a lot more understanding if they did and not so quick to lay blame.


	8. Why Are You Looking at Me Like That?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Darcy obliterates her enemies.
> 
> OR
> 
> Darcy is a political mastermind.
> 
> Weapons are girls.
> 
> The Avengers are speechless and can only stare.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM SO SORRY FOR THE DELAY! I failed to meet my self-appointed minimum of one chapter a week. It was for a good reason though! You'll know why when you get to it. Also, the chapter is a long one. Hopefully I will get back on schedule and get another chapter out in the next few days. Hope you enjoy!
> 
> From now on, I am not going to put anymore disclaimers. You all know I don't own these characters. Marvel does...except for one...the adorable nugget introduced in this chapter does belong to me. :) So maybe I will include disclaimers...

_“That’s probably the smartest thing you can do.”_

 

Darcy giggled at them and Steve looked back to her with a relieved smile. “Out of curiosity, what was your back-up plan?”

 

Darcy shook her head with a smile. “I think you might actually see it.” Darcy looked back at the men on the ground. “This is only a third of the men that were here with Zemo; them and the two men I knocked out when they brought the computers and stuck behind the camera,” Darcy clarified. “I don’t know if they thought this would be enough or the others decided to split, but I’d rather not give away the ace up my sleeve.”

 

“Is Kitty involved?” Steve asked.

 

Darcy smirked. “Maybe.”

 

Natasha lifted a delicate eyebrow. “Kitty?”

 

“Who’s Kitty?” asked Sam.

 

Darcy and Steve shared a smile. Darcy answered. “You’ll see.”

 

Steve chuckled. “You guys still have some surprises in store.” He grinned wider. “I can’t wait to see your faces.”

 

Darcy snorted in laughter and brought their attention back to her. “Time for Phase II,” she said with a smile. “The Illegal Accords.”

 

T’Challa blinked and straightened in confusion. “Illegal?” he asked. “I was not aware of anything in the Accords being illegal, aside from Secretary Ross making child soldiers with enhanced individuals.”

 

Darcy smiled slowly, eyelids slightly lowered over mischievous blue eyes. “Oh, there are so many things wrong with the Accords,” she declared. “Now, I can’t use the laws of the United States because they don’t apply in different countries. However, I have contacted several trusted lawyers in various countries for comparison, and they have gotten back to me with their evaluations and corresponding laws. I’ll post those online now because it really adds fuel to my argument, but I won’t  go over them now. Shame, too,” Darcy mused. “The Accords violate _so_ many laws in the United States, it’s actually rather pathetic. They go against the 5th Amendment of the Constitution in numerous ways, the 14th Amendment, and the Privacy Act of 1974. Seriously, did Ross and his minions even _try_ to make the Accords comply with the law?” she asked rhetorically.

 

She shrugged and scrolled a bit on her tablet. “To save time and make sure everyone in the world understands that what I am about to say applies to everyone in every country, I will be using the most widely accepted authority as evidence that the Accords are illegal.”

 

The Avengers looked at Darcy in anticipation at what she was about to say.

 

Darcy smiled her shark-like smile and continued in her calm and clear voice. “The Universal Declaration of Human Rights adopted by the United Nations on December 10, 1948,” she said with a gleam in her eye.

 

“The relevant articles are:

 

Article 2: _Everyone is entitled to all the rights and freedoms set forth in this Declaration, without distinction of any kind, such as_ \- and therefore not limited to,” Darcy inserted, “ _race, colour, sex, language, religion, political or other opinion, national or social origin, property, birth or other status. Furthermore, no distinction shall be made on the basis of the political, jurisdictional or international status of the country or territory to which a person belongs, whether it be independent, trust, non-self-governing or under any other limitation of sovereignty._

 

Article 3: _Everyone has the right to life, liberty and security of person._

 

Article 5: _No one shall be subjected to torture or to cruel, inhuman or degrading treatment or punishment._

 

Article 7: _All are equal before the law and are entitled without any discrimination to equal protection of the law. All are entitled to equal protection against any discrimination in violation of this Declaration and against any incitement to such discrimination._

 

Article 8: _Everyone has the right to an effective remedy by the competent national tribunals for acts violating the fundamental rights granted him by the constitution or by law._

 

Article 10: _Everyone is entitled in full equality to a fair and public hearing by an independent and impartial tribunal, in the determination of his rights and obligations and of any criminal charge against him._

 

Article 11, subarticle 1: _Everyone charged with a penal offence has the right to be presumed innocent until proved guilty according to law in a public trial at which he has had all the guarantees necessary for his defence._

 

Article 12: _No one shall be subjected to arbitrary interference with his privacy, family, home or correspondence, nor to attacks upon his honour and reputation. Everyone has the right to the protection of the law against such interference or attacks._

 

Article 13, subarticles 1 and 2: _Everyone has the right to freedom of movement and residence within the borders of each state. Everyone has the right to leave any country, including his own, and to return to his country._

 

Article 20, subarticle 2: _No one may be compelled to belong to an association._

 

Article 29 subarticles 1, 2, and 3:  _Everyone has duties to the community in which alone the free and full development of his personality is possible. In the exercise of his rights and freedoms, everyone shall be subject only to such limitations as are determined by law solely for the purpose of securing due recognition and respect for the rights and freedoms of others and of meeting the just requirements of morality, public order and the general welfare in a democratic society. These rights and freedoms may in no case be exercised contrary to the purposes and principles of the United Nations._

 

And Article 30: _Nothing in this Declaration may be interpreted as implying for any State, group or person any right to engage in any activity or to perform any act aimed at the destruction of any of the rights and freedoms set forth herein.*”_

 

Darcy finished and smiled at the camera as she touched one finger to the tablet. “Uploading the articles and explanations of how the Accords break them now,” she said.

 

“If anyone is wondering how those articles are broken, let me sum up: Discrimination against a person’s biology - as that is where their powers originate from and therefore something they can’t control, Denial of Liberty due to forcing someone to live a certain way without just cause, Inhuman and Degrading treatment, Unequal Protection from the law due to discrimination, Unlawful Imprisonment without trial and therefore without being held guilty for a crime, Arbitrary Interference in the privacy, family, home, and correspondence of suspected and confirmed enhanced individuals due to constant monitoring, as well as attacks upon their honor without protection from the law, Impeded Movement, Coercion to join an association by forced registration, and Forced Neglect of community service by delaying help in a case of emergency that would lead to a decrease in public order and general welfare. Finally, the leaders of the nations that signed The Sokovian Accords engaged in the acts that destroyed the rights and freedoms previously set forth.”

 

Darcy finished, breathing heavily, a maniacal gleam in her eyes. The Avengers themselves were looking at her in wonder, nearly vibrating at Darcy’s words.

 

“This means,” Darcy said with triumphant smile and lifted chin, “that one hundred seventeen countries; one hundred seventeen government _leaders_ and _hundreds_ of supporting staff,” Darcy paused, “can be charged for breaking numerous laws and denying basic Human Rights.”

 

The Avengers jaws dropped open and their eyes went wide. They’d had no idea there was so much wrong with the Sokovian Accords.

 

Darcy smiled. “And if you think that’s bad, I haven’t even gotten to the best part!” She threw her arms open, tablet still in one hand as she said, “Though 117 countries are guilty of these crimes, 117 countries didn’t willingly sign the Accords. This is why I needed this live feed to continue uninterrupted! By piggybacking on the signal, I was able to get into Ross’s private servers and find the evidence to confirm that he and eighteen other parties, both private and government related, forced twenty-six countries to sign the Accords!”

 

Gasps sounded from the Avengers.

 

“That’s right! Eleven government leaders were bribed, five smaller and weaker countries were threatened, and the remaining ten signed because their leaders were blackmailed into it. I’m willing to give a pass to the five countries that were threatened, but the eleven are guilty of not only the previous crimes, but also for bribery! And while giving into blackmail isn’t a crime...”

 

Darcy leaned in close with innocent wide eyes and stage whispered, “You have to wonder what they were blackmailed with to make them sign the Accords, right?”

 

She leaned back. “Don’t worry. It’s now all on the internet,” she said complacently.

 

Silence descended after Darcy’s speech until Natasha checked her phone. “Darcy,” she said. “You just broke the internet.” Then Natasha stood up and started a slow clap. Clint joined in quickly, followed by Wanda, Sam and Scott. T’Challa looked like he wasn’t sure if he should clap or not. Steve just smiled widely and shook his head. Bucky grinned and lifted two fingers to his mouth and blew out a sharp whistle.

 

Darcy took it all in stride and even dipped into a small bow. As she rose, the metal sectional door at the far end of the warehouse rose up. Darcy turned around and saw twenty or so men in tactical gear cautiously walk in with their automatic weapons raised.

 

Looking over her shoulder, Darcy quipped, “Time for my back up plan.”

 

“Hands up!” one of the men shouted, still near the open entryway. The gunmen were separated from Darcy by the still unconscious men lying in the middle of the warehouse and were clearly wary of stepping over the net.

 

“Right!” Darcy shouted, her back to the camera. She raised both arms in the air. “Hands up. Got it. Let’s see,” she said. “One, two, five, seven, ten, thirteen, eighteen, twenty, and twenty-one! Yep, that’s all of you!”

 

The assumed leader tilted his head at her and asked, “What’s that in your hand?”

 

“A remote.”

 

“A remote for what?”

 

“A couple things. If I hold down the button for more than a second, it activates the taser net before you. But if I just push it once quickly, it turns the powerful electromagnetic crane I positioned over your heads on and off.”

 

The men looked at her for second before they made sense of her words.

 

“What?”

 

Darcy’s thumb twitched and pressed the button. The guns the men were holding flew up out of their hands and the thunks they made on the ceiling echoed around the metal walls. There were also a few knives that slipped from their sheaths, and a couple of the men cried out as their arms were cut by the blades as they flew upwards. The taser net that had been covering the previous attackers also flew up to the ceiling as well as the guns that were lying on the ground.

 

In three seconds, Darcy had unarmed all of the men. “Your guns are made mostly out of 4140 and 416 grade steel*, which is of course magnetic.” She lifted her left hand and formed a horn with her pointer and pinky fingers extended. “SCIENCE BITCH!”

 

She turned her head to look at the camera. “How did you think I kept that net up there? I’d seen that we were in some sort of industrial park from my exploring and thought that it would be awesome to use a crane. Why do you think it took me so long to get the video chat up? I had to wait for those idiots to bring my equipment before I could set up my traps. After, it only took me like, ten seconds to get out of my bonds and knock ‘em out. It’s also why I set up the tables back here instead of in the middle of the warehouse; out of range of the magnet,” she explained.

 

Darcy faced the men before anyone could respond. “Okay, guys. Listen. We can do this the easy way, or the fun way. It’s your choice. Lie face down on the ground, and I _promise,_ ” Darcy said fervently, “I will not embarrass you on worldwide media.”

 

The Avengers watched in a mix of shock and awe as Darcy commanded her abductors to surrender. They did seem to consider what to do for a moment, looking to each other for their reactions. Then one of the men came forward.

 

He was large and glaring daggers at Darcy. Blood dripped from a gash on his arm where his knife had grazed him upon its removal. He started to stalk towards Darcy, eyes focused solely upon her. A couple of the men shifted and started to follow his lead.

 

Though no one could see her face, they saw her shrug and raise her hands out in front of her, palms facing the behemoth of a man.

 

“Okay,” she said. “Just remember. You chose this. By the way, I’d duck if I were you.”

 

The man ignored her and his pace sped up a little as he crossed the long room. When he was about ten feet from Darcy, a metal object flew with amazing speed from outside, through the open sectional door and over the heads of the other men. It smacked into the attacking man’s shoulder and knocked him to the ground at Darcy’s feet before the object made contact with her right hand.

 

A burst of white light engulfed Darcy. As it started to fade, jagged sparks of light flaring off her form, everyone could see that Darcy’s clothing had changed. They could still only see the back of her, but she was wearing a leather and metal ensemble reminiscent of Thor, though without the red cape and with dark purple leather complementing the navy blue.**

 

“What the?” Clint muttered as he stared at Darcy’s image. “No. No way,” he breathed.

 

Darcy ignored what was going on behind her on the screen and focused on the men in front of her. The bright light had forced the other men to stop and shield their eyes, but as soon as they saw her, they shifted into a defensive stance.

 

The man on the ground looked up at her and growled. Her surged to his feet and tried to lunge at her. Darcy stepped to the side as he did and touched the metal object, which appeared to be a short metal rod, to his ribs. A crackling was heard as white lightning spread out from the end of the rod and made the man jerk and fall to the ground.

 

Darcy stared passively at the man and then looked up at the Avengers. A black metal, winged headdress covered parts of her forehead and cheeks. She put her left hand on the silver rod and twisted her wrists. The short rod extended into a long bow staff, the ends of which flared out to be slightly wider than the rest of the staff. Runes could be seen running the length of the metal, etched in and cast in shadow, contrasting with the vibrant silver of the staff.

 

Without speaking, Darcy turned back to the men. “I warned you,” she said simply. “I said it quite clearly. Kidnapping me is a Bad Idea, and now, I’m kind of pissed off.” She twirled her staff in her right hand, the metal making a whooshing sound through the air, and started to stalk forward.

 

The two men closest to her moved first to fight her hand to hand. Darcy took them down with a quick dodge, a twirl that connected one end of her staff with a head, and a lightning jab to the other’s stomach.

 

The confrontation barely made Darcy pause. She continued on in her strut towards the rest of the men. Why they didn’t just run was incomprehensible, but the men were clearly used to choosing fight over flight, so when Darcy came forward, they attacked.

 

It wasn’t a fair fight. Darcy faced eighteen men that towered over her...She obliterated them.

 

Three rushed her. She danced around their punches with the grace of a ballerina and hit them in their weak points like the backs of their knees and their solar plexus with either end of her staff. Then she simply jabbed them with her staff, effectively tasing them just enough that they passed out from the electric shock.

 

With her back turned, one man thought to take advantage. Darcy spun, knowing he was there, and twisted her wrists on her staff. It separated down the middle into two batons. She swung her right as she ducked his punch and hit the back of his knee before she brought her left baton up to hit his forehead, the momentum from his fall combining to knock him out.

 

Darcy used similar moves facing the other combatants. She never allowed the men to touch any part of her, ducking and dodging rather than blocking any kicks or punches. The staff’s lightning ability was used to taze the men as soon as she got a clear shot, either by touching them with the end of the staff or by aiming the firing end at a man and shooting off a small bolt of white lightning.

 

As she took down her last attacker with a shocking jab to his side, she looked up and noticed one man standing a few feet from her with both of his arms raised stiffly in the air.

 

Darcy considered him. He stared back.

 

Darcy pursed her lips in thought as she ran her eyes over his person. “Johannesburg?” she asked.

 

The man blinked as he jumped a bit. He was dark skinned and quite young looking, around only twenty years old. He nodded slowly. Darcy lowered her weapon and looked at him with an unguarded expression. “Is that why you joined Hammond Zemo?” she asked softly.

 

The man opened his mouth uncertainly and his arms lowered a bit before he raised them back up.

 

Darcy smiled slightly at him. “You can lower your arms. No offense, but you’re not really a danger to me.”

 

The man lowered his arms, but looked down away from Darcy. She tilted her head and turned slightly back to the camera. “Come here,” she beckoned with one hand as she walked to the untouched computer station. The man followed her slowly, carefully stepping around each downed man.

 

Darcy leaned against one table, staff propped on the ground and right hand loose around the shaft. The man was shifting nervously, glancing up at her every few seconds.

 

“What’s your name?” she asked.

 

The man’s shoulders curled slightly inward. “Hey,” Darcy said. “This will go better if you answer my questions.”

 

The man looked up at her and his body drooped as he sighed. “My name is Bogani,” he said.

 

Darcy nodded. “Did you lose someone when the Hulk was tricked into a rampage last year?”

 

Bogani shook his head no. “I was lucky. My family and I were hurt, but it was minor, just some cuts and bruises.”

 

“Then why are you here?”

 

Bogani shrugged helplessly. “Zemo approached me. At first, I was not interested, but he offered me money, and I needed it for my mother and sister.” He looked up at Darcy. “My father died when I was young. My mother tried, but it was not enough. I had to find work. We managed. We had food and shelter. The building we lived in was not good, but it was enough,” Bogani said with his brows drawn. “When the Hulk destroyed it, it was rebuilt much better than it was before. The owner raised the price of rent. We could not stay there, but so many were in our position, we could not find an affordable place to live. I sacrificed many meals so we could pay rent and allow my mother and sister to eat.” Bogani paused and looked down. “My sister is still young. She has a chance. I needed the money for her. I,” he looked back up. “I did not know what Zemo was really planning. I did not-” He clenched and unclenched his hands and frowned. “I am sorry,” he said simply.

 

Darcy looked at him with soft eyes. “After Ultron, Tony spent a lot of money repairing the cities that were damaged. Johannesburg was no different. He offered to buy up the properties for more than they were worth before they were destroyed. Some took him up on it. Others he simply paid for all of the repairs. He thought he would be providing a good place to live for a cheap price. I guess he didn’t count on the landlords taking advantage of that and raising the rent cost. You should know that if this had been brought to our attention earlier, we would have done something. In fact,” Darcy turned to the camera. “Hey, Spicy Mama! I know you’re watching. Can you get some of your people on that?”

 

Darcy smiled even though there would be no response. She turned back to Bogani. “It’ll be taken care of. I can assure you of that, but now we have another problem. Though your reason was noble, you still joined up with, and assisted, a terrorist.”

 

Bogani lowered his head.

 

“I guess there’s only one thing to do,” Darcy continued.

 

Bogani cringed further.

 

“You just have to do your best to make it right.”

 

Bogani looked up.

 

Darcy smiled at him. “Are you sorry for putting people in danger?”

 

He nodded quickly.

 

“Do you want to fix your mistake?”

 

He nodded again.

 

“Do you trust me?”

 

Bogani hesitated, though it was clear he was truly considering the question. He answered slowly. “Yes, I suppose I do.”

 

Darcy gave him a full smile. “Then this is what you’re going to do. I’m going to send a few friends of mine our location. You are going to go back to the offices Zemo used and gather all of the information you can. When my friends get here, you will go with them. Tell them where your family is, and they will be collected and sent to your location. Answer all of their questions and do what they tell you. In a few days, you will be transferred to my command, and we will go from there.”

 

Bogani stared at her. Darcy just smiled. “I take care of my people. I have decided that you shall be my people. Your mother and sister will be cared for as well.”

 

Bogani blinked several times as he stared at her in shock. His eyes were filled with guilt and confusion at Darcy’s actions.

 

Darcy waved at him. “Go on,” she told him. “Go gather evidence.”

 

Bogani took a step away and looked at Darcy in question. She jerked her head to the broken metal doors that lead further into the warehouse. Bogani nodded and hurried to the doors.

 

Darcy turned back to the camera and accompanying screen with a grin. Steve had a rueful smile on his face.

 

“I think you just made another loyal fan,” Steve said.

 

Darcy shrugged and picked up the forgotten tablet to type a short message before setting the device back down. "Come on, you can't blame me. He was just a harmless little cutie pie trying to help his mom and little sister. I'm gonna give him a job; a really good one," Darcy declared with her hands on her hips and a proud smile on her face. As she looked at her friends, her smile dropped in concern. “Uh, guys? What’s wrong with you all? Why are you looking at me like that?”

 

Steve looked to either side of him. The other seven heroes were looking at Darcy with slack jaws and wide eyes. Steve grinned wickedly and looked back at Darcy. “I think they’re a little shocked at your outfit,” he said plainly.

 

Darcy blinked and looked down at herself. “Oh yeah,” she muttered. She looked back up and smiled. “I have a superhero costume too now! Does this mean I finally get a superhero name? Because I totally deserve a superhero name.” She nodded along to herself.

 

Clint burst out in a high-pitched voice, “When the fuck did this happen?”

 

“About two years ago.”

 

Clint just gaped at her, no words coming out of his mouth.

 

Natasha breathed in deeply. “Darcy, can you please explain? How did - that is, what is that staff and why does it give you armour like Thor’s?” Natasha’s slight stumble in her speech clued the others in that she was just as flabbergasted as the rest of them. Steve tried to contain his smile and sat up straight in his chair.

 

Darcy beamed. “Everyone, meet Kitleiptstav. It means ‘Lightning Staff of Hearthkeeper’. But I just call her Kitty.”

 

Sam’s head tilted forward as his eyebrows rose. “Kitty?”

 

Darcy nodded. “She was a gift,” she said. “Odin commissioned the dwarven Master Blacksmith Eitri to make her from the leftover dwarf star material and Uru metal that Meow-Meow is made of. Kitty has all of the same properties of Thor’s hammer except flight. However, she does have the added bonus of instantaneous lightning with better control than Meow-Meow.”

 

The Avengers absorbed this while Steve turned his head back and forth to each side of the table with a smile on his face, waiting for one of them to realize what Darcy was saying. He didn’t have to wait long for Natasha to say haltingly, “Darcy, if Kitleiptstav has the same properties as Mjolnir, and you can pick up the staff, does that mean...?”

 

Darcy smirked and nodded her head slowly.

 

Clint whispered, “You can pick up Mjolnir?”

 

“I _did_ pick up Mjolnir,” she corrected. “I did it for months, too, before Thor found out. His eyes got all big and he was all, _You are truly worthy, my sister!_ and _Come we must hurry to Asgard so that you might prove your worth before the Council so the Allfather may claim you as his own!_ So we did, and then I did, and then he did. After they found out that I was also Frigga’s mom that is. And _that’s_ how I became a princess!” Darcy regaled.

 

Clint slapped both of his hands on each side of his face as he looked at her. “You picked up Mjolnir,” he reiterated.

 

Darcy shrugged. “Eh, no big deal.”

 

“No big deal?” Sam interjected. He shook his head in disbelief. “You _picked it up!_ ”

 

T’Challa pinched the bridge of his nose as he closed his eyes. Without opening them, he asked. “Can someone please tell me what is the significance? I thought you were all shocked at Darcy fighting off those men like that after summoning a magical staff.”

 

Clint didn’t look at T’Challa as he recited, “Whosoever holds this hammer, if he be worthy, shall possess the power of Thor.”

 

Scott said thoughtfully, “So, Darcy has all the powers of Thor now?”

 

“No,” Darcy answered for herself. “Not all of them, but I can summon Mjolnir if I want and use it fully. Vision can pick the hammer up and swing it, but that’s because he’s synthetic. He can’t access its full powers. He can’t summon it from a distance or conjure lightning like I can.”

 

“Oh,” Scott nodded along.

 

Clint bowed his head in his hands. “I can’t believe this. I can’t believe you can pick up the stupid hammer!” He looked at Darcy in frustration and extended his right arm behind Wanda to everyone along the table. “All of us except T’Challa, Bucky, and Scott have tried to lift Mjolnir and none of us could do it! Don’t try denying it Tash!” He yelled down to a scowling Natasha. “I know you found a way to try and lift it without anyone around to see you fail!” He turned back to Darcy. “This is bullshit!” he yelled.

 

Darcy smirked. “Now Clint, there’s no need to be upset,” she said, patronizing. “Clearly you just weren’t worthy.”

 

“Oh, shut up Darcy! You little-little brat!” Clint called.

 

“ _Oh_ ,” Darcy said with an exaggerated wince. “I’m so wounded! Hey Clint, I’m confused. I thought Bruce was the one that turned green.”

 

Bucky snorted while Clint turned red and glared at Darcy.

 

Steve laughed along with Natasha and Sam at Clint’s expense. “Darce,” he said with his brows slightly lowered, though he was still smiling. “Is there any reason your armour is different?” he asked.

 

Darcy glanced down at herself. She shrugged a shoulder as she said calmly, “Well, I am pregnant, and I am starting to show a little.” Admittedly, Darcy did have just a slightly rounded stomach that had been hidden by her loose t-shirt, though the armor did conceal it somewhat. “I think Kitty changed my outfit to adjust to my expanding stomach. My other armour is much more fitted, whereas these overlapping leather plates allow some give.”

 

Steve nodded.

 

“It doesn’t reduce my safety though,” Darcy assured. “This armour was handcrafted by the finest armourer on Asgard.”

 

“You’re sure?” Steve asked.

 

“Yep,” Darcy said. She lifted her hands up, palms out before turning them face down to calm Steve. “There’s no one else here to fight, but even if there were, me and the munchkins are safe. Promise.”

 

Instead of being reassured, Steve frowned in bewilderment at her words. “Munchkins?”

 

* * *

 

 

Darcy's Asgardian Armour

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *These are the real Articles in the Universal Declaration of Human Rights, word for word.
> 
> *I got this off of Yahoo Answers, and am actually not sure if this would really work, but we're going to say it would.


	9. It's Gonna Happen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which much is discussed as bets are made.
> 
> OR
> 
> Steve freaks out.
> 
> Natasha doesn't like sharing.
> 
> Darcy has controversial choices in friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So very sorry for the wait! It is a very long chapter though, and I didn't even get everything I wanted in it. I had to stop and make it into two chapters, so hopefully the next chapter will be finished sooner.
> 
> I don't own any of these characters.

_“Munchkins?”_

 

Darcy blinked at Steve, lifting one eyebrow in confusion. “I didn’t say?” She pouted and frowned down in thought. “I could’ve sworn...Huh. I guess I didn’t.”

 

“Munchkins,” Steve pressed. “That’s...plural. As in...more than one. More than one baby?” Steve’s voice went high.

 

Darcy smiled sheepishly. “Ha. Yeah. Um, surprise!” She waved jazz hands. “We’re having multiples!” She smiled widely at Steve.

 

Steve just looked more perplexed. “Multiples,” he echoed.

 

“Mmhmm,” Darcy hummed, just nodding her head up and down.

 

“And,” Steve asked slowly, still with a confused and slightly wary look on his face, “how many is...multiples?”

 

Darcy pursed her lips before inhaling and letting out a quick sigh. “Okay,” she said blithely. “Before I answer, I would like to go on record that I totally blame Steve’s super serum swimmers.”

 

“Darcy?” Steve raised an eyebrow, eyes growing wider with anxiety.

 

“Of course,” Darcy added to herself in an undertone, “the six hour sexathon might have helped.”

 

Steve’s eyes flew wide open for a second while the others around him coughed in surprise. “Darcy!” he shouted. “Multiples!”

 

“What are your feelings on quadruplets?” she asked quickly as she leaned on the table beside her with one hand while the other rested on her hip.

 

The Avengers gasped lowly in unison while Steve stiffened in shock.

 

Sam lifted his fist to his mouth. “Oh, _shhhhh-it!”_ He grinned and turned to see Steve’s reaction just as everyone else did.

 

His face was frozen in the perfect picture of quiet, internal panic. Eyes wide and unblinking, but the rest of his face relaxed, Steve sat as still as a statue.

 

Natasha, sitting right next to Steve, looked at Darcy and let out a delighted squeal. “Yay! Babies! More babies for me to cuddle!” She turned her whole body to face Steve with an evil smile on her face. In a loud voice, she said directly into Steve’s ear, “You’re going to have. _Four. Babies_. At once!”

 

Then she just watched as Steve’s immobile face went pale.

 

Clint grinned. “That was mean, Tash.”

 

Natasha just laughed lowly in a mockery of the stereotypical evil villain laugh. Only, she actually sounded scary doing it.

 

T’Challa looked at Steve with worry. “Captain. Steve,” he amended in a careful voice. “Are you alright?”

 

Steve didn’t answer, his eyes still locked on Darcy as she watched him.

 

Bucky leaned across T’Challa to wave his hand in Steve’s face. “Hey! Punk!” He snapped his fingers a couple times just under Steve’s eyes. Nothing. Turning back to the screen with a wide smile, he told Darcy in delight, “I think you broke him, doll.”

 

Wanda leaned forward to look closer at Steve. She stage-whispered, “Is he even breathing?”

 

“Is he gonna faint?” Scott chimed in with the same quiet voice.

 

“He’s not gonna faint,” Bucky muttered. “He’s a super soldier, he can hold his breath longer than that.”

 

“He’s gonna pass out,” Clint declared, sotto voce.

 

“He’s not gonna pass out,” Bucky returned harshly.

 

Sam leaned over and followed their lead in whispering, “Twenty bucks he passes out.”

 

“I’ll take that bet,” Bucky said. He addressed Steve in a low murmur. “Don’t you dare pass out on me Stevie. I don’t actually have any money to give him if I lose.”

 

“Don’t listen to him, Cap,” Sam egged on with a grin. “It’s totally understandable if you faint.”

 

Darcy’s brows knitted together in concern. “Steve. Babe. Talk to me,” she ordered. “Use your words.”

 

Steve inhaled deeply for a moment before he closed his eyes and bowed his head low. He held up one finger for a moment before he abruptly stood up and turned his back to the camera. Hands on hips, he just breathed for a moment.

 

Bucky turned triumphantly towards Sam. “Told ya.” He held his hand out and wiggled his fingers. “Pay up.”

 

Sam pulled out a couple twenties from his pocket while he grumbled under his breath. “Damn Barnes,” was all that could be discerned as he handed over the won money.

 

It was then Steve turned around and held his hands up. “I’m okay,” he stated, pausing between each sentence. “I’m okay. This is okay. This is fine. I love kids. I love our kids. This is great. This is,” he faltered, “a bit much, but it’s fine,” he assured. He waved his hands and continued to speak in a calm tone, though his face started to reflect his internal panic and his voice steadily rose in pitch. “We can do this. It’s totally fine. I’m not worried, are you worried cause I’m not worried, this is fine - more than fine. This is great, and everything will be great. Right?” he squeaked out at the end. He looked down at the Avengers where he stood and asked again with a forced smile, “Right?”

 

The heroes just looked at him, some with pity and some in amusement. Then Bucky, just as he did earlier, fixed his face into one of wide-eyed innocence and said in false wonder, “Hey, I didn’t know your voice could go that high!”

 

A bubbly laugh made everyone turn back to the screen where Darcy was clutching her stomach.

 

“Okay, okay,” she said as she giggled, calming down. She waved one hand in a shooing motion. “I’ve had my fun. Steve, you can relax. We’re not having quadruplets.”

 

“We’re not?” he asked.

 

“No,” Darcy said with a smile.

 

“Oh thank God,” Steve breathed as he bent double and rested his hands on his knees. He quickly looked back up. “Not that I wouldn’t have been happy if we were, because I would have! It’s just,” he held his arms out in front of him, palms up. “I don’t have that many arms,” he said a bit breathlessly with a relieved smile on his face.

 

“But Darcy!” Natasha exclaimed with a pout. “You said-”

 

“Ah ah ah!” Darcy interrupted, holding up one finger. “I only asked Steve what he felt about quadruplets. I never said we were having them. You all just assumed.”

 

Natasha pouted. “I am reluctantly impressed with your misleading words,” she said. She narrowed her eyes. “You did say you were having multiples though.”

 

Darcy nodded. “That I did. Not quadruplets though,” she said happily to Steve. “I promise, it’s just twins.”

 

“ _Twins!_ ” Steve’s shoulders relaxed as he smiled gratefully. “I can handle twins. Twins are good. Twins are perfect,” he said quickly.

 

“Dude,” Sam said between chuckles. “You’re shaking.”

 

Darcy giggled at him. “I really scared ya there, didn’t I?”

 

Steve sat down heavily and and huffed a laugh. “Just let me get my breath back,” he said with a giddy smile. He breathed in deeply before he cleared his throat a few times. Then he propped his elbow on the table with his chin in hand, effecting a nonchalant pose. In a more steady voice, Steve asked, “So, twins?”

 

“Yep. Does that satisfy you, Nat-Nat?”

 

Natasha humphed and leaned back in her chair with her arms crossed. “I want more babies. No,” she corrected. “I _need_ more babies. There are too many adults in the Avengers circle, which means there are going to be times when I want to hold a baby and can’t because someone else is. You’re going to force me to _take turns_ ,” Natasha hissed unpleasantly.

 

Darcy sighed. “Nat-Nat, we talked about this. You need to learn to share.”

 

“I share!” Natasha refuted. “I just don’t like sharing my people.” She paused. “Or my widow bites...or my guns...or my ammo...or my knives.” Natasha continued with an expressionless face while the others watched her with annoyed expressions. “Or my batons...or my car...or my motorcycle...or my sunglasses...or my vodka...or my phone...or my earbuds...or my tablet...or my secrets...or my vodka...or my shoes...or my sweaters...or my lipstick...or my books...or my pens...or my purses...or my blini*...or my vodka...I think that’s it,” she said as she looked straight-faced into the camera. “But I _really_ don’t like sharing my people, even if it’s with my other people.”

 

Scott leaned forward somewhat. “Is there anything you _do_ share?”

 

Natasha looked up for a moment before she dug into a side pocket. “Gum?” she offered.

 

Scott looked at the stick of gum she held out to him and shrugged. His hand reached half-way before he glanced up and noticed the hard glare Natasha was giving him.

 

“No thank you,” he said quickly as he retracted his hand. “I’m good."

 

Natasha smiled in satisfaction.

 

“Nat-Nat!” Darcy reprimanded.

 

“What?” she asked. “I offered to share. He didn’t want any.” Natasha sent her best innocent expression towards the camera. Steve and some of the other heroes shared a look before rolling their eyes.

 

“Well,” Darcy said after joining the group eye roll, “you’re just going to have to deal with it because I’ve already got two buns in the oven, so if you want more babies, you’re going to have to get someone else.”

 

Natasha pursed her lips and leaned forward so she could look down each end of the table. She looked toward Clint.

 

“Don’t look at me,” he said. “Laura made me get fixed after Nathaniel. No more mini-Bartons from me, Tasha.”

 

Natasha looked away from him with narrowed eyes as she slowly eyed and considered each person before turning to look at Sam and then Scott. Her face relaxed and she nodded to herself before turning back to Darcy. “Oh, it’s gonna happen.”

 

“Uh huh,” Darcy deadpanned. “Everyone,” she said in a much brighter voice. “In case you haven’t picked up on it, fun fact: The Black Widow loves babies. In fact, when I think of the term ‘baby crazy’ I think of Natasha Romanov.”

 

“Why don’t you just have one yourself?” Scott uttered.

 

There were several quiet gasps from Sam, Steve, Bucky, and Clint. Scott either didn’t see their expressions or didn’t understand them because he continued on, even though the guys behind Natasha were waving their hands frantically, making cutting motions at their throats, and shaking their heads with horrified faces.

 

“Seriously, if you love babies so much, why don’t you just have one?” Scott asked in sincere perplexion until he finally saw his friends’ reactions. Their mouths were shut tight, eyes frantically landing on any part of the room but him, and were even leaning away from him. Sam took it further by pushing his seat back and away.

 

Scott’s eyes flicked to Natasha and he immediately shrunk back in his seat from the coldest death glare he had ever seen. His face contorted in fear and he spoke in a small voice. “I just said something stupid and insensitive. Didn’t I?”

 

Natasha just continued to stare at him.

 

T’Challa didn’t understand what was happening, but he followed the other men and Wanda’s lead in trying to avoid looking at Scott, though they would all glance over at him every few seconds.

 

Natasha stood up slowly. Scott cringed further. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. “Please don’t kill me.”

 

Natasha leaned over him. “You have one year to give me a goddaughter,” she said lowly. “She doesn’t have to be born by the end of the year, but in one year’s time, I want my goddaughter to be inhabiting someone’s uterus. Got it?” she hissed.

 

Scott gulped. “What if it’s not a girl?” he asked.

 

Natasha narrowed her eyes further. “The man is responsible for providing the Y chromosome. With your tendency to act like a little bitch, I don’t think it’ll be a problem, but if it is,” she leaned closer. “Try. Again.”

 

Scott nodded without blinking. “Okay,” he muttered.

 

Darcy grimaced at the proceedings and waited until Natasha had regained her seat with composure. “Well,” she said lightly, trying to ease the tension and get the other men to stop trying to hide their faces. “Speaking of goddaughters…” Darcy looked at Natasha with a small smile. “There’s no guarantee that either of these kids will be a girl, but even if they’re not...would you be one of their godmothers?”

 

Natasha blinked. “Really?” she asked hopefully.

 

Darcy nodded while Steve answered, “Absolutely.” He smiled at Natasha. “And if one of them _is_ a girl, you are definitely godmother.”

 

Natasha grinned widely and fidgeted in her seat until she threw her arms in the air. “Yes!” she yelled. She looked back at Darcy with a euphoric smile on her face. “Fair warning, I am going to godmother the shit out of your kids.” She laughed slightly. “Suck it, Jane!” she said to the camera.

 

Darcy grimaced. “Uh, actually...Jane’s godmother of our son.”

 

Natasha blinked. “What?”

 

Steve and Darcy hurried to explain.

 

“You didn’t know about him or about me and Darce-”

 

“We knew how much you wanted a goddaughter-”

 

“We automatically decided our first girl-”

 

“We’d make you godmother-”

 

“But we knew right away it was a boy-”

 

“Because Thor is a damned blather mouth-

 

“So Darcy and I talked it over-”

 

“It was better to make Jane and Thor godparents-”

 

“With the hope that when we did have a daughter-”

 

“You’d know the truth and we can make you godmother,” Darcy finished. “And, you know, you’re totally a kick-ass aunt to all of our kids.”

 

Natasha pouted for a moment. “Fine,” she said eventually. Her nose wrinkled. “What did you say your son’s name was?”

 

“I didn’t,” Darcy said. “Nice try, but I can’t tell you yet. Certain people aren’t here and I _need_ to see their faces when they find out. For now, just call him Sable.”

 

“Edda and Sable!” Clint crowed. “ _That’s_ who they are. Makes sense now. The _Edda_ is a collection of Old Norse writing. Frigga’s mentioned quite a few times.” Clint smiled at his friends who looked back at him in surprise and confusion. “What? I read,” he defended.

 

Wanda tilted her head. “So if Edda is Frigga, then Sable could be…*”

 

Steve smiled as his friends frowned in thought.

 

Clint blinked. “I got nothin’.”

 

“Nope,” Sam added. They all shook their heads. “Can’t you give us a hint?”

 

Steve looked at him blankly. “Sable is your hint.”

 

Bucky raised a brow in surprise. The others looked at Steve with calculating eyes.

 

Darcy snorted. “You’ll all find out soon enough. Right now, I need to finish Operation: Bitch Slap.” She turned back to the computer and began rapid-fire typing. “I just need a couple more minutes to set this up.”

 

“Wait,” said Steve. “You’re not done?”

 

Darcy snorted and frowned in concentration. “Hardly. You need to quit distracting me! Seriously, I have pregnancy brain right now, but you guys have no excuse.”

 

“We’re not distracting,” Clint protested. “We just want to know the answers to our questions. You’d never said Edda and Sable were codenames for your kids. Now we know. Speaking of which, what were those protocols you mentioned earlier?”

 

Steve opened his mouth and Darcy interrupted him. “Uh uh! No! Steve, don’t listen to them. They’re trying to open you up to answering questions and then trick you into revealing Sable’s name among other stuff.” Darcy frowned at her friends on screen. “Don’t give me those I’m-so-innocent looks. Clinton. Natasha. Samuel!” she ordered. “I know you, and I know how you get info out of people. This name thing is bugging the hell out of you, I can tell.”

 

“Yes!” Clint admitted. “I bet you named him after someone, didn’t you?” he accused. “That’s why you want to see certain people’s reactions.”

 

Darcy rolled her eyes and huffed. Holding up one finger, she typed a few commands on the computer. The screen the Avengers were watching went dark for a second before it flicked back on. Darcy’s image no longer took up the full top half of the screen. The Avengers could still be seen along the bottom half, but Darcy took up only the top right corner. The top left quarter remained black.

 

Darcy frowned. “Jane!” she yelled. “Answer the freaking video chat request!”

 

Only two seconds passed before the top left corner showed one Dr. Jane Foster in a pink t-shirt sitting at a steel desk, her lab in the background. Sitting next to her was, surprisingly, Sharon Carter dressed in gray and black.

 

“Darcy!” they both shouted in joy.

 

“I’m so glad you’re okay!” Jane sighed. “I mean, of course we knew you would be and we were watching you on the chronicles the whole time - Nice takedown of that one dude with your thighs by the way! We have to show Tasha later - but seriously, what the hell, Darce?” Jane yelled after wavering between an angry and approving tone.

 

Sharon put a hand on Jane’s shoulder. “Wait, I’ll take this.” She faced the camera. “What the hell Darcy?!” yelled Sharon. “What is wrong with you? You dismiss Sif and go off on some half-baked mission and then get yourself kidnapped!”

 

“And you’re pregnant?” Jane inserted. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

 

Darcy held up her hands. “I wanted Steve to know first this time. Look,” said Darcy. “I’m sorry for worrying you. Right now, I have just a small amount of data retrieval to do. Can you please just tell them about the protocols while I do that? Steve, babe, I love you, but I don’t think you should answer any more of their questions until,” Darcy tilted her head and made her eyes go wide, “ _we can talk about_ stuff _in private_ ,” she bit out.

 

Steve’s eyebrows jumped slightly as his eyes filled with comprehension. “Oh, right.”

 

Darcy nodded and turned back to her work. She waved a hand absentmindedly. “Carry on.”

 

Sharon rolled her eyes. “So,” she said. “You guys want to know what the Atticus and Gauntlet Protocols are. Well, the Atticus Protocol is why I’m here.”

 

“About that,” Sam wondered. “When did you find out about all this? And why did you and Steve kiss in Germany if he was with Darcy?”

 

“We didn’t kiss,” Steve interrupted.

 

“We didn’t,” Sharon agreed. “It just looked like it from your point of view.”

 

Steve nodded. “Sharon didn’t know about Darcy then. We had considered recruiting her, but weren’t sure if we could trust her yet. When she delivered our gear, I knew we could, so I pulled her over to me and slipped a phone into her back pocket.”

 

Sharon took up the story. “Admittedly, I was going in for a kiss, but then Steve moved his face away slightly and whispered that he was sorry, but there wasn’t time to explain. He told me that after you three left, I should call the number in the phone. I did, and that’s how I ended up here and not in CIA custody.”

 

“Huh,” Sam breathed.

 

Bucky perked up in his seat. “What’s the Atticus Protocol then?”

 

Jane answered. “The Atticus Protocol is something Darcy created. Because Yggdrasil told Darcy that the Avengers couldn’t know about the kids, Darcy could only assume that one day, the Avengers would be compromised and couldn’t be called upon for protection. That’s what the Atticus Protocol does. When activated, the various heroes not affiliated with the Avengers and unafraid of government actions against them are called to protect Darcy and the kids. The first recruits were Lady Sif and the Warriors Three.”

 

“Lady Sif,” Sharon said in an annoyed tone, “is Darcy’s personal guard. She had been assigned as such by King Odin. Sif always comes when the Atticus Protocol is active, along with one of the warriors since not all three can be spared at once.” Sharon glared at Darcy’s image. “However, it has come to my attention that because Darcy is Princess of Asgard, any orders she gives Sif have to be followed. Darcy ordered Sif to leave her, which is why she was captured.”

 

Darcy scowled, but didn’t look up from her work. “I needed to be stealthy. Sif is awesome, but not stealthy.”

 

Sharon rolled her eyes while Steve looked heavenward.

 

Clint slapped his hand on the table. “So who else is a part of this Atticus Protocol?”

 

Sharon pursed her lips. “It’s a rotating roster. Darcy, Frigga, and Sable all have their own personal guards that _should_ accompany them everywhere, along with a few people that act in a general basis. I took charge of organizing security once I was pulled in. Under my command right now is Hogun the Grim, the chosen warrior from Asgard, Mockingbird, and her husband...” Sharon trailed off and looked at Jane. “Did we come up with a codename for him?”

 

Jane shrugged. “Lancelot?”

 

“Lancelot?” Sharon repeated and then smirked. “He’ll hate it. It’s perfect.” She looked back at the others. “Mockingbird’s husband, Lancelot.”

 

Clint snorted. “Lancelot?” he snickered. “That’s what we’re calling him? Oh, that is too rich!” he laughed.

 

Sam queried, “I don't know him too well, but isn’t he a bit of a wild card? He is an ex-mercenary.”

 

Natasha jabbed her elbow into his ribs. “Mockingbird can and will keep him in line.” She turned to Sharon. “I approve.”

 

Jane nodded. “Darcy did all of the recruiting herself.”

 

“It’s true,” Steve said. “I had little input. Darcy’s the best judge of character I’ve ever known. Remember how she hated Sitwell and a bunch of other SHIELD agents that all turned out to be Hydra?”

 

“Yep,” Clint said. “She kept telling Fury there was something off about him.” He shook his head. “Should’ve listened.”

 

Wanda leaned forward in interest. “So who are their personal guards?” she asked the two women on the screen.

 

“Sif is Darcy’s, as I’ve said,” Sharon reiterated. “But, uh…” She tapped her fingers on the table and looked at Jane, who shook her head. “Yeah, we’re not answering this question. Darcy, Steve, one of you are telling them.”

 

Steve sighed. Darcy remained focused on her keyboard and computer, but if she didn’t want them to know, she’d say so. “Well,” he prevaricated. “Daisy is Sable’s guard this time around.”

 

The other’s frowned.

 

“Who’s Daisy?” Bucky asked.

 

Steve rubbed his bottom lip. “You might know her better by what the papers have been calling her. Quake.”

 

Sam stiffened. “Quake? Your son’s bodyguard is _Quake?_ ”

 

“Yes,” Steve spoke in his firm Captain voice. “Darcy met and recruited her before she got her powers. Darcy calls Daisy her cousin, and trust me, they are family. Daisy dropped everything to come help Darcy when she activated the Atticus Protocol after Bucky, Sam, and I were arrested in Bucharest.”

 

“But she’s-”

 

“An inhuman?” Steve questioned. “An ex-SHIELD agent?”

 

“An unknown threat,” Sam finished.

 

Steve shook his head. “No. She’s not. She’s just trying to help other inhumans who have been targeted by the Watchdogs. Sometimes that involves a little destruction, and maybe some injured watchdogs, but she doesn’t kill. She’s saving innocent lives and getting them somewhere safe.” Steve turned and glared at the camera. “By the way, the Watchdogs can be classified as a _terrorist_ organization*, and everyone involved charged with the corresponding crimes. I highly _suggest_ that anyone thinking of joining them reconsider. They’re as bad as Hydra, thinking that killing innocent people can promote peace.”

 

Wanda straightened her back and said firmly, “I support what Quake is doing.”

 

“So do I,” Darcy said. “And thanks for bringing that up. I’ll be uploading all of that evidence online, too.” She went back to typing.

 

T’Challa nodded along, perfectly at ease with how things were progressing. “What about Frigga’s personal guard? Is that the last member of the Atticus Protocol?”

 

Jane waved her hand dismissively. “Oh no, not at all. There are more than a dozen protectors that can be called on if needed. Darcy has a lot of friends after all. But the last one we have here is-” she cut herself off. “Steve?” she implored.

 

Steve shifted and cleared his throat. “Frigga’s personal guard is Frank Castle.”

 

The others were silent for a moment before Clint spoke. “Frank Castle?” he asked in disbelief. “As in _The Punisher?_ The Punisher Frank Castle? That Frank Castle?!”

 

“Yes.”

 

Sam looked at him incredulously. “You told the Punisher about your kids before us? You _left your daughter_ in the hands of _The Punisher?!_ ”

 

“Yes!” Steve repeated. “Look, it wasn’t my idea, but I didn’t argue with Darcy when she told me.”

 

“But-”

 

“No! Listen!” Steve looked at them sternly. “Darcy decided that Frank Castle can be trusted with our secrets mainly for the fact that there isn’t anyone he would _want_ to tell. We decided to recruit him as our kid’s guard for an entirely different reason though. The fact is, Frank Castle was a good father.” Steve paused.

 

“I know you guys might think I’m crazy for trusting him or that maybe I trust him more than you, but that’s not it. I don’t trust Frank more than you. I don’t trust him in a firefight. I don’t trust him to have my back and stick to the plan and not go off in a rage. I _do_ trust him with my kids though. Before everything, Frank Castle was a good man who loved his wife and _adored_ his daughter and son, just like I do. But his family was murdered before his eyes and turned him into what he is. And you know what? I completely understand. Believe it or not, he and I aren’t that different.”

 

Eyebrows were raised at this. “We’re not,” Steve repeated. “I won’t go into it now*, but,” Steve paused, “I understand him. Frank lost everything he cared about in one fell swoop, so I know he won’t let it happen again to someone else. I know he’ll protect my children, no matter what.”

 

Darcy had finished typing by now and was looking at the Avengers.

 

Sam crossed his arms and frowned in disapproval. “He’s still a vigilante.”

 

Darcy snorted. “Pot. Kettle. Have you met?” she asked sarcastically.

 

Sharon forestalled any further arguing on the subject by quickly bringing up the other question Clint had asked. “As for the Gauntlet Protocol. Well, that’s a bit more complicated, but basically, when there’s a problem that’s too big for the Avengers, which thankfully hasn’t happened yet,” Sharon added, “a call goes out for help. As Jane said, Darcy has a lot of friends. The Gauntlet Protocol lets them all know they’re needed. They’ll come to your aid, and especially to Darcy’s aid, which is why Steve was going to activate it if her life was in danger.”

 

Darcy shook her head. “That would have been a little overkill, Steve,” she said gently.

 

Steve gazed at her softly. “I disagree. Anything to make sure you’re safe and happy.”

 

Darcy grinned and ducked her head, looking up at him with pure joy. “Grr,” she said with a smile. “I really want to kiss you right now! Seriously, I _really_ need you to come home, Steve. I’m just now into my second trimester - otherwise known as the Horny Stage of pregnancy -  and these hormones are already kicking my ass.”

 

Steve smirked. In a low, smooth voice he said, “Well, I’m at your service, ma’am.”

 

“Ugh!” Clint groaned. "You two are gross!" His sentiments were echoed by the other heroes.

 

Jane laughed out loud. “Get used to it guys! You’ve never been around Steve and Darcy together, but let me tell you, they go at it, like, all the time,” Jane said with a grin. “I’ve walked in on them so often, it doesn’t even phase me anymore. Hey Sharon, I bet you fifty dollars that it only takes 36 hours for one of them to walk in on Steve and Darcy in a compromising position.”

 

“Pftt.” Sharon argued, “It’ll take longer than that now you’ve warned them. At least 48 hours, but less than 80.” Sharon held out her hand, palm up.

 

“Done,” Jane said as she slapped Sharon’s hand.

 

“Twenty it’s Scott,” Sharon added.

 

“Clint. He goes up in the vents too often for it not to be him.” They slapped hands again.

 

“Um, excuse me,” Sam said in a confused voice. “Are you really making bets on Steve and Darcy’s sex life?”

 

“Yes,” they both answered.

 

“Can I join in?” he asked. “Before today, it’d been awhile since we’ve been able to make bets on Steve.”

 

Scott frowned. “You make bets on Steve?”

 

“We make bets on _eh-verything_ ,” Sam informed.

 

“This is true,” Clint said. “You guys are new,” he looked at Bucky, T’Challa, and Scott, “but the Avengers all lived in the tower for a good part of three years and then at the facility. We were _way_ too involved in each other’s personal lives. We coped by making betting pools on a bunch of stupid shit. Like, how long until Stark blows up his lab again? How many women will try to feel up Steve? How many baby agents can Natasha make cry? Things like that,” Clint said. “And, bonus, the people who the bets are about always get a small cut of the pot.” he shrugged. “That’s why none of us ever got mad over it. We won, too.”

 

“Oh,” Scott said. “So, can I start a betting pool?”

 

“Sure, what about?”

 

“One hundred that Steve and Darcy are having two boys. An extra fifty that they’re fraternal.”

 

Wanda jumped up immediately. “Wrong! They’re having two identical girls!”

 

Steve held out his hands. “Woah! Wait a minute. Look, I don’t care if you guys want to bet about this, but let’s save it for later, alright? Darcy still has to finish Operation: Bitch Slap.” He gestured to Natasha. “And Nat doesn’t have the Cauldron with her now anyway.”

 

Sam addressed the room. “The Cauldron is what we call the book where all of our bets are logged. Natasha’s our bookkeeper because she’s the only one we can trust to not cheat.”

 

T’Challa frowned at them all. “Should I be concerned about this?”

 

“Nah,” said Steve. “It’s just bets between friends, and cheating in those bets is a time-honored, Avengers tradition.”

 

Natasha leaned forward in her seat to look at the king. “What he’s saying is that when we’re not saving the world, we’re a bunch of little shits that are constantly trying to one-up each other.”

 

T’Challa nodded. “Yes. I had been getting a sense of that for a few weeks now. In that case, two hundred that it’s a boy and a girl.”

 

Clint beamed at him. “That’s the spirit!”

 

Darcy laughed at them. “You’ll find out in about six months who’s right. Thor ruined the surprise last time, so this time, I don’t want to know.”

 

“How did Thor-”

 

“Moving on,” Darcy interrupted Scott. “The final part of Operation: Bitch Slap.” Darcy grinned. “Phase III: By the Balls.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Blini is a popular Russian desert.
> 
> *Anyone want to guess what name(s) I chose?
> 
> *I haven't been able to keep up with Agents of SHIELD this season, but seriously, this is kind of obvious. The Watchdogs are a hate group that is a terrorist organization. I fully believe that Hate groups in real life are full of willfully ignorant and bigoted people who let their fear of what is different control their actions.
> 
> *I will eventually be going into why Steve Rogers and Frank Castle are very similar.


	10. Shame to Mess Up All This Pretty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Darcy would make a successful supervillan.
> 
> OR 
> 
> Darcy is vengeful.
> 
> The world brought this on themselves.
> 
> Darcy gets an unwelcome visitor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I persisted in getting the chapter out when I did. It's super long which is why I didn't have it out earlier. I hope you all enjoy!
> 
> These characters belong to Marvel!

_“By the Balls.”_

 

Some brows were raised at this, but the Avengers simply sat back in their seats, ready to listen to Darcy.

 

Darcy cleared her throat and squared her shoulders. “I’ve already gone over the international laws that the Accords break, but I have not gone over the additional United States laws that were broken by one Thaddeus “Thunderbolt” Ross, who - as a US citizen - can be charged with multiple offenses.”

 

Darcy glanced down at the tablet she held before baring her teeth in a smile.

 

“In addition to the Universal Declaration of Human Rights articles I mentioned _and_ the Blackmail, Bribery, and Intimidation that are already stacked against Ross, I am submitting several dozen more charges against him. However, to understand these fully, you have to know the facts about Ross’s actions in the previous years because he is guilty of numerous counts of the same charge. So,” Darcy said. “Fact number one: Thaddeus Ross is responsible for the creation of the Hulk.”

 

Darcy paused for everyone’s shock to die down. “I am uploading that evidence right now. As anyone can now see if you click the connecting Wikipedia and Facebook pages, there is a video you can view. For those who are not able to see that video, let me describe what happens. The video is footage taken from a security camera at Culver University, where Ross had consulted Doctors Bruce Banner and Elizabeth Ross about creating and testing a new super soldier serum. Instead of deleting this video evidence, Ross kept it in the hope that he could glean information on how to recreate the incident that transformed Bruce Banner into the Hulk.”

 

Darcy raised a brow in disgust. “That means he wanted to make _another_ Hulk,” she stated.

 

“The video also shows his incriminating actions; another reason Ross confiscated the footage. As you can see,” Darcy paused, typing on the tablet, “Ross is moving several levers from their set positions. These levers controlled the amount of gamma radiation released upon the test subject in the sealed room. Bruce Banner had created a serum and tested it on lab rats. They didn’t show any results. However, when Dr. Banner exposed the rats to a small amount of gamma radiation, the rats did seem to be slightly stronger. With no negative effects, Dr. Banner injected himself with a small amount of the modified serum, not wanting to be responsible for any harm coming to another human being. Dr. Banner planned on exposing himself to a very small amount of gamma radiation, an amount that was known to be safe for humans.”

 

Darcy glared angrily. “Thaddeus Ross ruined that. He had no knowledge of how the serum and radiation would work, either separately or together. All he heard was that the radiation activated the serum, and so he conspired to sabotage Dr. Banner’s experiment by dramatically increasing the amount of gamma radiation _without telling anyone!_ ” Darcy yelled. “Ross not only breached the contract between Dr. Banner and himself, which already would result in heavy fines, but he _knowingly_ endangered the lives of several scientists and thousands of students at Culver University where the testing took place. In addition, his tampering of the gamma output resulted in an overload of the containment system and Dr. Banner was doused with a lethal amount of radiation. It’s only because of the serum Bruce had injected himself with that he survived, though not without consequences that have drastically hindered Dr. Banner in living his life.*”

 

Darcy glared and stated simply, “Ross is responsible for the creation of the Hulk.”

 

Unexpectedly, she smiled. “Maybe he should be responsible for the damage Hulk has inflicted over the years? Especially because prior to the Chitauri Invasion in 2012, it was Ross that caused a majority of the incidents involving Hulk that resulted in so much property damage. _And,_ ” she added, “any human casualties during those incidents fall squarely on Ross’s shoulders,” she finished solemnly. “Hulk never attacked anyone. He defended himself from being attacked when Ross hunted him. Those physical attacks are what triggered Banner to transform into the Hulk, and he fought only because he was being hurt while he was just trying to get away from his attackers.”

 

Darcy rolled her eyes. “Really, what was he supposed to do? Lay down and let the army shoot him? Walk willingly into a cell to never be let out again except to be strapped to a metal slab and have a bunch of needles shoved under his skin? Let them drain him of so much blood, bone marrow, and spinal fluid that he was a living corpse, basically induced into a medical coma for the rest of his life?” Darcy’s voice turned hard at the end. “Yeah. He’ll volunteer for that treatment the same day you do, Ross.”

 

Darcy sniffed disdainfully. “Janie?” she asked.

 

Jane startled out of her pose of resting her head on her fist that she’d relaxed into during Darcy’s lecture. “Yes?”

 

“Is Betty there?” Darcy asked. “I think this next part would be better if she was there to back up what I say. Of course, I have the files to do that, but the fact that Betty is Thunderass’s daughter and agrees he’s a criminal is icing on the cake.”

 

Sharon smiled for a brief moment. “You’re in luck,” she said as she pulled out her phone and sent a message as she spoke. “She just got back from the Schoolhouse. She was checking up on the kids we rescued,” Sharon explained as she looked up. “She’s grown pretty fond of the kiddies, and they love her.”

 

Darcy nodded while the Avengers exchanged confused looks.

 

“The Schoolhouse?” Steve asked. “Darcy, how many secret facilities did you set up?”

 

Darcy waved her hand. “Just a few. Besides, I thought it was a good idea, what with all the kids that are developing powers nowadays. We even have second generation superhumans now!” Darcy exclaimed. “They need a safe place to be themselves and discover their abilities. After all, it’s safer for everyone if people learn to control their powers than to pretend they don’t exist. That leads to accidents.” She nodded her head. “If they want to go back to living a normal life later, than they can do that. After all, this life isn’t for everyone. Normal people...they can’t do it.”

 

Darcy seemed to be talking not to the Avengers, but the general population.

 

“The Avengers aren’t heroes because they have powers. They’re heroes because life royally screwed them over, and they knew that the only way they’d survive was to fight back,” she said harshly. “Seriously, you all have no idea what they had to go through to get where they are. The physical, mental, and emotional stress is more than what most people can cope with, powers or not.”

 

“I can attest to that,” said a new, melodic voice. Coming into view behind Jane and Sharon was a beautiful, dark haired woman with slight bags under her eyes. Her exhaustion didn’t stop her from smiling at her friends, though. “I’m glad to see you okay, Darcy. You had us worried.”

 

Darcy smiled softly. “Sorry. How is everyone?”

 

“Good,” Betty answered, smiling wider. “The kids are doing much better, and their guardians are quite enjoying themselves.”

 

Sam perked up. “Are you talking about the kids you rescued from Ross?”

 

Betty nodded as her eyes turned down. “Along with myself.” Betty stood awkwardly behind Jane and Sharon. She opened her mouth for a moment before sighing and looking at Darcy’s image. “My father, Thaddeus Ross, is not a good man. He has lost all sense of morality and human compassion. Combined with his overinflated ego, belief of legal immunity, and skewed loyalty, he has done some truly horrible things.” Betty nodded at Darcy. “Go ahead and tell them. He deserves to fry. I have not considered Thaddeus my father for a long time.” Her voice turned to steel. “A father would never experiment on his daughter.”

 

Several quick intakes of breath were the only reactions to Betty’s words.

 

Darcy cleared her throat. “Well, you heard her folks. Ross is guilty of human experimentation. Of course, first I should go back and tell you all about how Ross is also responsible for the creation of the Abomination, formerly known as Emil Blonsky.” Darcy smiled. “Ross achieved this by taking the last vial of the original super soldier serum that he _did not have government authorization to use_ ,” Darcy emphasized. “Quick question there to the US military: How do you feel about Ross stealing a valuable chemical formula from you and wasting it on man who then turned around and killed several of your own army personnel?”

 

Darcy sneered at the camera. “The incident in Harlem in 2011* was because of the Abomination, not the Hulk. Bruce Banner and Betty Ross had traveled to meet with a fellow scientist to try to neutralize the chemical transformation of the Hulk. That scientist was later coerced by Blonsky to inject him with some of the serum extracted from Bruce’s blood, which then transformed him into the Abomination, and he proceeded to rampage across Harlem.”

 

Darcy paused. “I want to make it clear that trying to attain powers like that is a really bad idea,” she said with pinched eyebrows. “I mean, look at how it’s turned out for everyone. Even Steve and Bucky, who can be counted as successes, have to live with some dramatic consequences that aren’t all that great,” she informed.

 

“Aside from the physical effects, there’s also a mental aspect of the serum. It affects the brain chemistry, and most often results in some sort of mental illness or just plain insanity. Steve and Bucky were thankfully good people with morals before the serum, so it only cemented their personalities. But Bruce actually has another personality - the Hulk’s - in his mind at all times. Red Skull in World War II went batshit crazy and tried to blow up the whole world, even the Axis Powers. Extremis and Centipede, more recent attempts, resulted in addiction to a drug that could make their bodies explode with side effects of extreme violence and rage, paranoia, and bloodlust. The list goes on.” Darcy shook her head. “I hope you all get the point by now. So!”

 

She shook herself a little in place and resumed talking in a clear voice. “To review: Ross created the Hulk and the Abomination, and is responsible for most of the damage attributed to Hulk in the years before the Avengers. Ross also used his status as a US Army General to illegally obtain a highly valuable and classified serum, confiscate private property, carry out military operations on foreign soil, _and_ issue a worldwide manhunt for a civilian with no criminal charges that Ross also attacked without provocation on multiple occasions.”

 

The Avengers were frowning angrily at the treatment of their friend and teammate by then. They had known that Ross had been in charge of bringing in Bruce before he was pardoned by the President himself for his actions during the Chitauri Invasion, but they had no idea that it was this bad. Bruce had never gone into details when asked.

 

Darcy held a hand on her hip. “Ross went quiet for a few years after Harlem and the Battle of New York, but he wasn’t idle. He made plans that he thought best to act on in the last ninety days. As Steve said, he began crafting the Accords, a legal agreement that would bring superpowered beings under his control. His goal, also previously stated, was to build an army that would consist mainly of children so that they grew up taking orders from him. Less than a  week after Captain America and his teammates were declared fugitives, Ross took his first ‘recruit’.”

 

Darcy glared. “From May 16th to June 29th, thirteen children were given to the care of Thaddeus Ross. The eldest is seventeen, but most are around their preteens. The youngest is only six,” Darcy hissed. Her eyes gleamed with fury. “They were locked into cells at night with no heat, a mattress on the floor, and grime lining the walls. During the day, they were conditioned. They were denied food, water, basic hygiene, and were occasionally forcefully sleep-deprived. There was no privacy, not even when using a toilet. They were forced to fight each other or be punished - _physically_ punished. _Beaten_ and _electrocuted._ If they disobeyed a single order, they were kept in a small padded cell with the lights turned off for _days_. They were-” Darcy cut herself off, tears starting to leak from her eyes narrowed in fury.

 

Darcy growled. “They were children! And Ross treated them like they weren’t even human. No,” she corrected. “He treated them like they weren’t even living beings. I don’t care what anyone’s opinions are on superpowers. These are children and _nothing_ gives _anyone_ a right to do that to a child. That was _torture_.”

 

Darcy breathed heavily, along with several of the heroes shown. Betty herself was gripping a chair back and taking deep, measured breaths through her nose.

 

“I have evidence,” Darcy stated. “Photos, files, and eyewitness testimony that I am uploading to the webpages now.” She tapped the tablet in her hands. “I was watching Ross closely. I saw what he was doing and in between everything, I came up with a plan to rescue the children. I called up the other members of the Atticus Protocol and when the timing was right, we infiltrated the facility and rescued the thirteen minors along with two more children that were being sent there at that time.” Darcy paused and rolled her shoulders. “It came as a bit of a surprise to find Betty there as well. Betty? Do you want to tell them what happened?”

 

Betty looked up at everyone and inhaled calmly. “My-” she swallowed. “Thaddeus had taken me several months ago. At first he was just forcing me to research various biological samples. When he found out I was stalling for time to escape and lying to him, that’s when he made me a test subject.” Her knuckles whitened as she gripped the chair tighter. “I don’t know how much time passed. I just know that around two months ago...” Betty dropped her head and her body went lax.

 

Jane covered Betty’s hand with her own as Sharon nudged her gently with her elbow.

 

Darcy sighed. “Betty is…” she hesitated. “Well, let’s just say that the number of superwomen is starting to catch up to the number of supermen.” She shrugged. “Anyway, Betty assisted us with their escape and helped set up SPIFFY: Super Power Introduction and Facilitation of Flourishing Youth. Most members of the Atticus Protocol joined up and now teach the kids at the Schoolhouse. A few of the kids’ parents that didn’t know what was happening also relocated and took on the duties of raising them as normally as possible. I also enlisted the help of a trusted therapist to help the children deal with everything they went through,” Darcy finished softly.

 

Steve shook his head and looked at Natasha and Sam. They shared a commiserating look before Sam turned back to Darcy.

 

“If those kids need any help, you just ask.”

 

Darcy and Betty both smiled wanly. “I think,” Betty said, “we’ve got it covered, but…”

 

“If you all wanted to join SPIFFY, you could teach the kids some skills on a part-time basis,” Darcy finished.

 

The Avengers smiled.

 

“Sign me up,” Clint said easily. “I think my family would be happier if I went back into retirement anyway. The only problem is that I get bored too easily. Training the next generation would be a perfect transfer.” He smiled.

 

Wanda nudged his arm playfully. “Old man,” she teased.

 

Darcy smiled, but it quickly dimmed. “There are a few more things I need to go over,” she said. “Ross has enough charges to put him away for life, but this isn’t just about him anymore.” Darcy glared at the camera. “The actions against Sam Wilson, Clint Barton, Scott Lang, and Wanda Maximoff after the battle at the Leipzig Airport* have far reaching consequences. Allow me to explain what happened,” Darcy said with a blank face, though her eyes were like pools of arctic water. “The four heroes were detained by the other Avengers until they were taken into custody by US military under the command of Secretary of State, Thaddeus Ross. They were then put into individual cells on a secret government prison called ‘The Raft’ that was built to hold enhanced and superpowered individuals.”

 

Lips pressed into a thin line, Darcy narrowed at her eyes at the camera as her fingers visibly tightened on the tablet. In a voice just above a whisper, she said, “That is not the issue. The issue is how they were treated in that prison.”

 

The tone of Darcy’s voice made everyone tense up as they listened to her speak.

 

“They were detained without legal representation, no preliminary hearing, and no appointed trial. They had their rights denied,” Darcy summed up. “But this I could forgive, _if_ ,” Darcy hissed, “you hadn’t treated _my_ Wanda like you did.”

 

Wanda flinched and sunk if her chair. Clint scooted close and wrapped his arm over her shoulders. Bucky leaned closer on her other side and glared menacingly. Wanda wouldn’t look at either man, instead keeping her head down.

 

“How dare you!” Darcy burst out. Even through various broadcasting intermediaries, her fury was palpable, like a living entity lashing out as she bared her teeth. “You put her in a straight-jacket that administered electric shocks when her vitals became too energized. You left her like that for two days! She couldn’t even go to the bathroom!” Darcy’s voice went quiet. “And what’s more…” She suddenly yelled out, “You put a fucking _bomb collar_ on her!”

 

Wanda closed her eyes and touched her throat lightly, her brows pinched in pain. The other Avengers were glaring out at their perceived audience.

 

Darcy was seething. Her breaths came in and out audibly, eyes wide in anger as her lips twisted in a snarl. “You made a nineteen-year-old girl wear _explosives_ around her _neck!_ How dare you even _try_ to justify that. There are so many other ways that you could have taken precautions for everyone's safety, so don’t you _dare_ try to bullshit me with that excuse! And to all you soldiers who ran The Raft and the Maryland Training Facility with the minors,” Darcy began furiously, “if you think you are going to just move on from it, you’ve got another think* coming!”

 

Lifting her chin proudly, she asked rhetorically, “Ever hear of The Nuremberg Trials? They cemented that Superior Orders aren’t enough of a defense when such horrendous acts are committed by soldiers _just following orders_ ,” Darcy mocked. “You denied people their basic human rights, denied them their additional rights as US citizens, and subjected multiple people _and children_ to inhumane and degrading _torture_!” Darcy exclaimed before twisting her lips into a facsimile of a smile. “You’re all going down. Each and every one of you who condoned those actions. Kiss your ranking and your freedom goodbye because I won’t be satisfied until I have all of your asses handed over on a silver platter!”

 

“You tell ‘em, Darcy!” Jane shouted as the others nodded their heads in agreement.

 

“You’re all guilty of Willful Blindness, Gross Negligence, Reckless Endangerment, and Child Endangerment!" Darcy breathed in deeply, holding it for a moment as she regained control of her emotions. "So this means,” she said slowly. “That Thaddeus Ross is charged with, unfortunately, only one count of kidnapping in the case of Betty Ross. Parents handed over their kids either uncaring of their welfare, or convinced by officials that they would be safer with the government,” Darcy explained somewhat sheepishly before her voice turned sour at the end.

 

She cleared her throat and said with a firm voice. “One charge of kidnapping, sixteen counts of False Imprisonment, four counts of False Arrest, one count of Gross Negligence, one count of Reckless Endangerment, thirteen counts of Child Abuse, thirteen counts of Child Endangerment, eighteen counts of Crimes Against Humanity, over one hundred counts of Invasion of Privacy, over one hundred counts of Discrimination, three counts of Human Experimentation, over one hundred counts of Abuse of Power, both in Malfeasance and Official Misconduct, four counts of Assault, one count of Willful Blindness, and finally,” said Darcy with a gleam in her eye, “four additional counts of Reckless Endangerment when you attacked Bruce Banner in a populated area that lead to over four hundred counts of Property Damage resulting in more than eight million US dollars, fourteen counts of Manslaughter, and five additional counts of Vehicular Manslaughter.”

 

Darcy breathed heavily with a triumphant smile. “While the UN cannot be held accountable for Ross’s actions before the Accords were put in place, the United States government and the administration at those times _can_. _After_ the Accords were signed though, _all_ of the signing countries agreed, at least on paper - and really, that’s the only way that counts in this instance - to put Ross in charge of the Accords.” Darcy grinned even wider. “That means that all of Ross’s actions in the last 86* days were with the authority and backing of 117 countries. Do you know what that means?” Darcy asked with saccharine sweetness.

 

Steve pasted on an innocent expression and asked with equal sweetness, “No, Darcy. What does it mean?”

 

“It means that not only can those countries be charged with putting legislation in place that The Universal Declaration of Human Rights clearly prohibits, but _all_ of those government leaders can be arrested and charged with many of the same crimes as Ross for aiding and abetting his unlawful conduct. _That_ means that, should I chose to pursue this in a court of law and seek reparations beyond monetary, many countries will be left leaderless, as they will be obligated _by their own laws_ to face justice. You can’t deny this! You brought this on yourselves! Each and every one of you knows it!” Darcy beamed excitedly. “So, what will happen then? New leaders will have to be elected, and I have friends everywhere and a whole lot of sway in various corners of the world. I wouldn’t need to take over running their governments myself because I’ll be an advisor to pretty much all of them. The best part is that you don’t know who my friends are, and if asked, they could just deny it! All you government leaders and your egos wouldn’t want some big-breasted foreigner running your countries, and I’m sure you _definitely_ don’t want to go to jail. So that leaves me with the conclusion that you would be willing to negotiate a _new_ accord that leaves everyone - meaning me - happy. _That_ is why I now have practically the entire world,” she lifted her hand, palm up and cupped fingers like claws, “ _by the balls.”_

 

Darcy smirked with her head tilted forward as she looked at the expressions of the Avengers. They looked gobsmacked and just a touch fearful.

 

Clint shook his head slowly without looking away from Darcy. “Fury always did say that we were lucky Darcy wasn’t a supervillain,” he said in a monotone. “He said if she ever got the inclination for world domination, she could actually do it.”

 

Darcy cackled. “ _By the baaaalls,”_ she emphasized as she gestured with her clawed hand. “And I assure everyone that I will not hesitate. To _squeeze_.”

 

Scott looked at her with a gaping mouth. “Can you be my lawyer next time I get arrested?”

 

Darcy laughed out loud and threw her arms out wide. “Political Science Major Bitches! Take that Professor Klempt who told me that ‘ _Political Science is a useless major Miss Lewis.’_ Well, ha! And double ha!” she boasted. “I hope wherever Ross is right now, someone is getting his face on camera. I warned you Thunderass!” she yelled. “I warned you to back the fuck off! You didn’t listen. So now I _own_ you.”

 

“So what are you going to do now?” Natasha asked with a smirk.

 

Darcy smiled sweetly. “Now, I am going to outline what is going to happen if people don’t want me to take over the world by proxy.” Darcy picked up the tablet she had set down in her rant. “All the evidence is finally posted online, so good luck refuting my claims,” she called out. “These are my current demands that I have already filled out the requisite paperwork for. All that’s needed are the necessary signatures. First, the Sokovian Accords will be declared null and the procedures towards powered individuals will cease to be enforced. Frankly, that was a stupid idea to begin with. Do you _really_ think that the people who actually register will turn around and commit a crime? No. It’s going to be the people fighting against registering that will be most likely to hurt people, so a fat lot of good registration does!” Darcy mocked.

 

“Second, the warrants out for the arrest of the present Avengers and affiliates,” Darcy gestured at the screen, “will be revoked and given immunity from their actions in resisting the Accords. Bucky Barnes, as a tortured and brainwashed Prisoner of War for the last seventy odd years is also owed back pay from the United States military. He will be receiving payment for the pain he had to go through because the military decided not to go back for his body, despite knowing where he was supposed to have fallen. If the army had done it’s job, he might have been discovered either in the Alps or in the hands of the Soviets long before 2014,” Darcy hissed at them. “I’d also like to point out that the efforts taken to recover Steve Rogers were not done by the government, but paid for and planned by Howard Stark, a civilian, until he appointed a team of SHIELD agents to take over looking.”

 

“Oo,” Clint muttered, leaning back in his chair. “This is just getting better and better.”

 

“I am also demanding monetary reparations for the fifteen children taken by Ross for physical and mental trauma. Reparations towards the registered individuals will also be paid for the interference in their lives as well as the degrading treatment and public hostility shown to them. The exact amounts will be negotiated at a later time. Wanda Maximoff will also be given a formal and face-to-face apology by an elected speaker before the entire UN. This is non-negotiable,” Darcy stated. “You, the members of the UN and respective government leaders _will_ swallow your pride, admit you were wrong, and apologize to Wanda Maximoff, or you can wear a bomb collar and straightjacket for two days and see how you like it.”

 

Darcy looked to Wanda. Catching her eyes, Darcy subtly lifted her chin. Wanda copied her and squared her shoulders, no longer curling into herself.

 

“Wanda will also be made a legal citizen of the United States, although,” Darcy said, looking away from Wanda and glancing in Clint’s direction. “There are several ways this can be achieved, and we need to have a private discussion before beginning the process.”

 

“Finally, I am sending the Secretary-General, the Under-Secretary-General, and two Assistant Secretary-Generals of the United Nations copies of a proposed ‘accords’ named the Patron Concerts. I think we can agree that on the whole, the Avengers, past and present, are as interested in saving lives and keeping peace as the United Nations. The Accords didn’t get everything wrong. The idea of having the Avengers work with governments is not only a good one, but possible. Note that I said work _with_ , not for,” Darcy said. “It’s like what I said earlier: some information needs to be shared. Not everything, but enough that people understand why you do the things you do,” she told the Avengers calmly. “I can give you copies to go over yourselves, but I think this might actually work. Like Ross, I’ve been working on this for a couple years now. I, well, I saw where this was heading if something wasn’t done. If you could have held off for a couple more months, I could have proposed this before the Sokovian Accords,” Darcy admitted.

 

Steve nodded. Natasha and Clint shared a look. “We don’t need to read it,” Natasha said. “We trust you, especially with this. It is your area of expertise after all.”

 

Darcy beamed at her. “Do any of you have any questions?” she asked just as a groan came from behind her. Darce glanced over her shoulder and saw one of the men dragging himself up off the floor. “Comments? Concerns?” she continued in an eager voice as she summoned Kitty, pointed the end at the man and sent out a bolt of electricity in his direction. He yelped and slumped back to the floor. “Anyone?” Darcy asked as she turned back to the screen and attached Kitty to her back.

 

The Avengers looked at her blankly while Jane, Sharon, and Betty smiled indulgently. Wanda raised her hand in the air.

 

“Yes Wanda?”

 

“Can I be you when I grow up?” she asked blankly.

 

Darcy blinked and then laughed. “Sweetie, you’re going to be better.” She winked.

 

Wanda smiled sheepishly while Bucky tilted his head, a crooked smile on his face. “Stevie, your wife is terrifying,” he declared. “Adorable, but terrifying...I’m completely in love. Doll, if you ever get tired of this mook, you just let me know.”

 

Steve sighed in exasperation. “Bucky.”

 

Bucky only grinned wider. “I sure hope the punk appreciates you,” he said, ignoring Steve while Darcy looked on in amusement. “I’d gladly get on my knees for you every night-”

 

“Bucky!”

 

“-or you can use your scarves. Because sweetheart, tie me up anytime!”

 

“Bucky!” Steve snapped. “Stop flirting with my wife! Go find your own!”

 

Bucky grinned at him lazily. “Now why would I do that?”

 

Steve glared at him. “I swear, one more word, and I don’t care what you’ve been through or how much we’re friends. I will punch you...in the face...repeatedly.”

 

Bucky grinned wider and opened his mouth. It shut firmly with a red mist surrounding his cheeks and jaw. Bucky frowned and looked next to him at Wanda. She raised an unimpressed eyebrow at him. “You’ll thank me later. It would be a shame to mess up all this pretty,” she deadpanned and waved at his face.

 

Bucky just pouted and slumped back in his chair.

 

Sam snorted as he rolled his eyes. “I do have to agree that Darcy is pretty freaking scary right now. How did I not know how scary you are, Darce?”

 

Shrugging her shoulders, Darcy replied, “You never had a reason to see it before. You’ll see it again though. I’m warning you all now. I may not seem like I’m angry at you guys, but I am,” Darcy said stoically. “As soon as I have you and all the other Avengers together in the same room, I am going to give each and every one of you the scoldings of your lives. Ask Clint. He knows.”

 

Clint cringed. “Aww Darcy, no.”

 

“Aww Darcy, yes,” she said stiffly. Steve’s mouth twisted in chagrin.

 

Clint sighed. “Is this going to be worse than the time you chewed out Fury on Tony’s behalf?”

 

Darcy raised both brows as she pursed her lips. “Way worse.”

 

Clint groaned and looked down the table. “We’re screwed. Darcy’s famous for five things: her taser, her ipod, her boobs, her food, and her scoldings.”

 

T’Challa wrinkled his forehead. “You’re joking, right?”

 

“No, he’s not,” Darcy answered. “TC, you’re getting lectured, too. So are Tony, Rhodey, and Vision. I’m just going to save it all until we’re back together in the States. Spider-man,” she added with her hands on her hips. “Don’t think that just because you’re not an Avenger yet means you get out of your own lecture.” She narrowed her eyes and said in low tone, “ _I know where you live._ ”

 

“That’s disturbing,” Scott muttered.

 

“Well,” Darcy said as she dusted off her hands. “That’s that. I will be leaving now,” Darcy stated with a haughty tone. “I hope everyone learned something today and that you all enjoyed the show.” A smile played around Darcy’s lips. “I’ll see some of you very soon,” she finished as running footsteps sounded behind Darcy.

 

She turned to the sound to see Bogani sprinting towards her from the right hallway doors. “Miss Lewis! Rogers!” he corrected. “Darcy,” he settled on as he panted. He came to her side and immediately took her arm, pulling her away. “We have to go,” he said quickly, his face a mask of fear, eyes darting to and from the door. “You have to go. You have to go _now!_ ” he urged as he continued to pull her away from the camera and towards the open sectional door leading outside, where several other warehouses and colorful shipping containers could be seen.

 

“Bogani!” Darcy protested, trying to get him to release her as he steadily pulled her across the warehouse over the field of unconscious men. “What are you doing? What’s going on?”

 

Bogani looked warily towards the door again before he said in a rush. “I was looking through Zemo’s files like you told me when I found several emails. When he discovered that you were pregnant with a super soldier’s baby, he advertised it on the black market.”

 

“What?”

 

“He sold you!” Bogani shouted. “Your body. He sold your body and the fetus you carry. He was going to kill you, so he thought to make a profit off you in some way.” He renewed his efforts to pull her away. “We must go! The buyer is already here!”

 

Steve jumped to his feet. “Darcy! Go!” he shouted.

 

They were only halfway to the exit when Darcy shouted, “Wait!” She twisted her body around to face Bogani. “Who’s the buyer?” she demanded.

 

Bogani glanced away and sucked in a breath. “Him,” he said quietly, pointing at the warped metal doorway he’d come through.

 

Darcy followed his finger and her eyes went wide. From the camera’s viewpoint, no one could see who it was as they were standing far enough into the hallway to be blocked from sight.

 

Darcy pushed Bogain away from her, not looking away from the hall. “Go.”

 

He looked at her with apprehension clear on his face and didn’t move.

 

“Bogani,” Darcy said calmly, though with underlying steel. “You said you trusted me. You are going to be under my command. That means following orders. You are going to run out that door, and you will not look back. You will get somewhere safe. Am I clear?”

 

Bogani hesitated. “Y-Yes.”

 

“Then. _Go!_ ”

 

Bogani stumbled away from her, biting his lip. With another look towards the hidden figure, he turned and ran.

 

Darcy stood still, her body too far away for the audience to make out any little facial ticks.

 

“I suppose I’m not surprised it was you,” she said eventually.

 

A shuffle of feet could be heard in the silence.

 

Darcy smirked. “What? You afraid to come out into the light? To let the world see you as you are? Newsflash! I already showed them. So go on,” she encouraged mockingly. “Come forward. It’s already over for you anyway.”

 

The Avengers held their breath as they heard one footstep, then two, and then suddenly, a man with groomed white hair and mustache dressed in an impeccable suit stepped fully into the room. They gasped as one.

 

Thaddeus Ross gazed at Darcy with contempt. “You ruined everything,” he told her. “I was so close to making it right again, to tilting the balance of power back in our favor where it belongs. Then you showed up.”

 

Darcy sneered at him. “That’s what I do. Fury called it years ago. I’m a pain the ass,” she said proudly.

 

Ross shook his head and snorted in amusement. “Do you really think that you’ve won? You haven’t accomplished anything. Oh, you may have torn apart the Accords, but the people are still afraid. They’ll kill each and every one of you _heroes_ ,” he spat.

 

Darcy glared at him. “No, they won’t. You underestimate people. You think they’ll give into their fear of what’s different, of somehow being made into less. But you’re wrong. People in general are not cowards. They’re brave enough to stand up in this strange new world and fight for themselves and for what’s right. Powers have nothing to do with it. A normal human being is capable of just as much strength as any hero.”

 

“Pretty words,” Ross acknowledged. “But words won’t save you. You have something I want.” He looked at her with dark, narrowed eyes.

 

Darcy snatched Kitty from her back and elongated the staff at the same time Steve yelled, “Don’t you dare touch her!” The cries of the others on the video chat echoed him.

 

“Dad!” Betty shrieked. “Stop! Stop this now!” she cried. “Don’t hurt her. If you don’t hurt her then I’ll do whatever you want. You just let her go!”

 

Ross looked at the screen for the first time. “Betty,” his voice rumbled. “I’m disappointed in you.”

 

Betty scoffed. “What else is new?” she asked sarcastically. “Let her go!”

 

“He doesn’t have me!” Darcy interjected. “What makes you think you can even kill me? I have Kitty. Even if you brought an army, I’d still be able to beat you.”

 

Ross smiled. “I didn’t bring an army. I’m alone. That’s more than enough.”

 

Darcy, still with Kitty in hand, looked at him in doubt. Ross chuckled. “Did you really think that after all these years I wouldn’t have figured it out? Of course, I had help. An old scientist friend of Banner’s, in fact,” Ross said amicably.

 

Darcy took a step away from him. “What are you talking about?” she asked slowly.

 

Ross took a step towards her. “I grow tired of this, Miss Lewis.”

 

“That’s Mrs. Rogers to you.”

 

“I’m getting what I came here for.”

 

Darcy held Kitty up in front of her, but Ross didn’t move, instead, his whole body seemed to shiver.

 

Steve sucked in a breath. “Darcy,” he whispered.

 

Darcy stood frozen as she watched Ross’s body convulse. He hunched in on himself as he drew in rasping breaths. Small pops could be heard as his bones started to break and grow larger. His skin took on a pink tone that quickly darkened into red as his shoulders broadened.

 

“Oh,” Darcy said softly as her eyes widened. “Shit. I admit. I am not prepared for this.”

 

Ross’s body was steadily growing larger, ripping sounds filling the air to mix with his grunts of pain from the transformation. His white hair turned dark and black once more, his red feet splitting the seams of his polished shoes.

 

“Darcy, run!” Steve commanded. “RUN!”

 

Darcy faced the screen with wide, panicked eyes for a fraction of a second before she turned and ran out of the warehouse into the open air beyond.

 

As she did so, Steve jumped over the table and sprinted from the room. Bucky was the first to move after him, an ingrained reflex from a lifetime of chasing after Steve to keep him from harm. By the time the others had thought to move, the two super soldiers were gone, and silence rang in the room.

 

Ross had finished his transformation. He crouched down in the middle of the warehouse, surrounded by Zemo’s downed men.

 

The Avengers stood frozen, unable to look away as Ross’s deep rumbling breaths slowed. Ross looked up. His eyes were pupiless and entirely gold, but it was not the gold of precious metal. No, his eyes were gold like bright, hot fire and molten rock. _Burning_.

 

For a moment, The rogue Avengers along with the additional three women looked at Ross with shock and fear as he looked back.

 

Then Ross curled his lip and a low growl rumbled from his throat. Ross stood to his full height and inhaled deeply before leaning towards the camera and letting out an ear-splitting roar. For several long seconds, his guttural cry pierced the air, and people quickly covered their ears as they cringed it was so loud.

 

When his scream died off, he picked up a man close to him and threw the body at the camera. The flying, black-clothed mass connected with Ross’s target, and all over the world, the video connection cut off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so evil to leave it there! 
> 
> Please note that I'm not a lawyer and I have no idea if all of this would be true.
> 
> *I tried to give a plausible backstory to how the experiment that made the Hulk happened as the movie didn't really go into it much. In the comics, Bruce was testing a Gamma bomb when he noticed a teenager in the field. He yelled for them to stop the countdown as he ran out of the bunker to save the boy. Bruce pushed him into a ditch that shielded him just in time, but was then caught in the blast from the gamma bomb, as the other scientists and army personnel had allowed it to go off.
> 
> *Supposedly, the events in Iron Man 2, Thor, and The Incredible Hulk all took place in the same week, one year before the events in The Avengers, which would make it early 2011.
> 
> *Leipzig Airport in Germany is the actual setting for the airport battle.
> 
> *Another "think" coming is the proper wording for that phrase, not another "thing".
> 
> *This took place 84 days after Steve and Bucky fought with Tony, so I figure the signing happened two days earlier if all of the action is anything to go by.


	11. Reactions: 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which we get some new perspectives.
> 
> OR
> 
> Twitter crashes.
> 
> Pepper is a worried Mama.
> 
> The waitress is good at reading people.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry this took so long. I really struggled with it in the beginning and then it just kept growing. I really am going to try to get the next one out by Friday.
> 
> On another note, I HIT 50,000 WORDS IN LESS THAN 2 MONTHS!
> 
> I don't own any of the characters that belong to Marvel. If some characters are not a part of the official Marvel Universe, then I guess I can claim ownership. ;)

Miranda and Justin _@OficialAvengerFollowers_

DARCY’S OKAY!!! We knew you could do it! _#DarcyLewishasaplan #BAMFDarcy_

 

James Goode _@dogooderjames_

Yeah, but she’s looking a little rough. How long did they have her? Someone needs to get that girl a sandwich stat.

 

Cindy Murray _@captainamericaluver4life_

Haha! Wonder who the Asgardian was that tricked Darcy?

 

Cody Stark _@iamcodystark_

Holy shit! How does a person get kidnapped that much? _#DarcyLewishasaplan_

 

Jessica Tome _@the_jessica_tome_

Black Widow just “One Job and You Failed” Hawkeye! So in love with her! # _BlackWidowisatroll_

 

Sierra Staccato _@SilenceIsLoud_

Hawkeye has a baby? I mean we found out he had a wife and kids, but he has a baby? _#daddyhawk_

 

Stewie Long _@thestewielong_

You know, you get an idea of what a couple’s relationship is like and how much they love each other by how they argue. Steve and Darcy bickering like that makes me think that even if they get rip-roaring mad at each other, they’ll never be able to hurt each other with words. They’re too in love.

 

Cody Stark _@iamcodystark_

Where the hell did she get those scarves? How the hell did she tie up Zemo?

 

Yolanda Gutierrez _@iamyogurl_

 _@iamcodystark_ That’s for her to know and for us to wonder about. That’s why her hair’s so big: It’s full of secrets! _#DarcyLewishasaplan #BAMFDarcy_

 

Mary Anne Silt _@merryannesings_

I love how nonchalant Steve is about his wife tying up and pickpocketing her kidnapper.

 

Cody Stark _@iamcodystark_

DID SHE JUST TWIST HIS EAR LIKE A MOM PUNISHING AN UNRULY CHILD?!

 

Cindy Murray _@captainamericaluver4life_

Oh my God YES! Please tell us about Captain America’s sex life! _#IloveDarcy #Darcyisatroll_

 

Chris Bride _@capfan2888_

I would never have thought that would work. _#wierdtactics_

 

Jessica Tome _@the_jessica_tome_

OMG! Look at Steve’s face! _#embarrassedSteve #Darcyisatroll_

 

Mary Anne Silt _@merryannesings_

I’m so glad we don’t have to worry about anymore bombs.

 

Cindy Murray _@captainamericaluver4life_

I agree with Darcy. Captain America tied up for sexy fun times is hot!

 

Cindy Murray _@captainamericaluver4life_

You don’t think there’s a chance she’d actually be willing to sell those scarves, do you? _#justcurious #askingforafriend #winkwink_

 

Stewie Long _@thestewielong_

 _@captainamericaluver4life_ If there’s one thing I’m starting to understand about Darcy Lewis - or is it Rogers? - it’s that she will act in a way you never expected her to. So, maybe? _#DarcyLewisisatroll_

 

Miranda and Justin _@OficialAvengerFollowers_

You know what we love about this? Everyone is finding out what trolly little shits the Avengers are. I mean, just watch them tease each other. It took us a long time of following their antics to understand this. These heroes are portrayed as larger than life by the media, but now we get to see them as they are. Just people, each with their own personality and sense of humor. _#Avengersarepeopletoo_

 

Cody Stark _@iamcodystark_

I want to see that video of Captain America doing the nae nae.

 

Benjamin Ross _@benrossthethird_

She’s going to bring down Ross? _#vibratingwithanticipation_

 

Jessica Tome _@the_jessica_tome_

I wanna learn to knock someone out like that! _#BAMFDarcy_

 

Sierra Staccato _@SilenceIsLoud_

You know what? I take back what I said about hating Darcy for marrying Captain America. I really can’t blame the guy. Darcy’s awesome and I think I’m more jealous of Steve now. _#AwesomeDarcyLewis_

 

Faith Nine _@fayth82*_

 _@SilenceIsLoud_ I know right! I think Laura Barton (That would be Hawkeye’s wife’s name right? His name is Barton and he said her name is Laura) had the right idea! _#marrymeDarcy_

 

Nunya Bizness _@thisisconspiracy101_

In this digital age, only having hard copies is actually one of the most secure ways to store information as long as you can make it hard to get to physically. It’s how I store all my info.

 

Nunya Bizness _@thisisconspiracy101_

DARCY HACKED THE FUCKING PENTAGON!

 

Nunya Bizness _@thisisconspiracy101_

DARCY BROKE INTO FORT KNOX!

 

Nunya Bizness _@thisisconspiracy101_

DARCY...Is just really fucking awesome. Can we all agree? _#AwesomeDarcyLewis #marrymeDarcy_

 

Tim Thomas _@timmytommytug_

Yes _@thisisconspiracy101_ . Yes we can. _#AwesomeDarcyLewis #marrymeDarcy_

 

Mary Anne Silt _@merryannesings_

Darcy is actually right about the Avengers. They don’t have to do anything to help us. We’ve kind of been blaming them for everything lately, but it’d be so much worse without them. _#ThankyouAvengers_

 

Stewie Long _@thestewielong_

If Project Insight had succeeded, the world would basically be run by a bunch of Nazi’s by now. No one would be free to make personal choices. _#ThankyouAvengers_

 

Nunya Bizness _@thisisconspiracy101_

Too true _@thestewielong_. If we think the government is bad about monitoring civilians now, it’d be so much worse with Hydra in control. _#ThankyouAvengers_

 

Benjamin Ross _@benrossthethird_

Tony Stark cares? We’re supposed to buy that?

 

Chris Bride _@capfan2888_

 _@benrossthethird_ , we don’t know him personally. Darcy obviously does and what she’s saying makes sense. Besides, he is a really good employer. Stark Industries is rated one of the best companies to work at and Tony Stark has had a big hand in that.

 

Nunya Bizness _@thisisconspiracy101_

I’d like to remind everyone that Darcy HACKED THE PENTAGON! She could definitely enact some revenge on anyone if she wanted to. _#dontpissoffDarcy #doasDarcysays_

 

Amy Darning _@Mythologynerd202_

I just snorted in laughter and had soda go up my nose. Avengers, Why you no listen to Darcy? _#doasDarcysays_

 

Yolanda Gutierrez _@iamyogurl_

Darcy is my new hero. Like, seriously. I want to be her when I grow up. _#IwannabelikeDarcy #AllHailPrincessDarcy #BAMFDarcy #Lifejustgotbetter #faithinhumanityrestored_

 

Cody Stark _@iamcodystark_

Oh. Shit. That. Yeah, the Avengers’ actions in Lagos make much more sense now. _#tellusAvengers #weunderstand_

 

Millie Morales _@mommiemillie_

This is why there needs to be communication from superheroes to the public.

 

Stewie Long _@thestewielong_

Unfortunately, we can’t decide whether the Avengers should have the authority to act on a case by case basis. It needs to be a blanket allowance or else it leaves it open for dispute if things go wrong. Bringing up the Good Samaritan Laws is a great way to consider it. Should people try to help someone in need and possibly make it worse OR shouldn’t they and possibly have someone be hurt or killed from their inaction? Keep in mind that the Avengers are all highly trained in battle and emergency medical aid.

 

Cindy Murray _@captainamericaluver4life_

Does anyone else feel like there’s no need to worry about Darcy right now? She’s about to face guys with guns, and she’s totally chill.

 

Sierra Staccato _@SilenceIsLoud_

No _@captainamericaluver4life_ , you’re right. Darcy’s chill makes me feel chill. If she was worried, then I’d panic.

 

Cody Stark _@iamcodystark_

What song is that?

 

Stewie Long _@thestewielong_

It’s a poem actually. The Spider and the Fly by Mary Howitt. I guess she just feels it’s appropriate.

 

Tim Thomas _@timmytommytug_

OH MY GOD! O_O _#BAMFDarcy_

 

Chris Bride _@capfan2888_

That about sums it up _@timmytommytug #BAMFDarcy #marrymeDarcy_

 

Cody Stark _@iamcodystark_

Fully agree with Ant-man. _#dontpissoffDarcy #doasDarcysays_

 

Cody Stark _@iamcodystark_

Does anyone know who Kitty is?

 

Miranda and Justin _@OficialAvengerFollowers_

 _@iamcodystark_ Considering how much we cyberstalk (and occasionally physically stalk) the Avengers, we would be the ones to know, but we have no idea.

 

Millie Morales _@mommiemillie_

I’m looking up those documents now.

 

Cindy Murray _@captainamericaluver4life_

I knew the Accords were bad news! _#RepealtheAccords_

 

Tim Thomas _@timmytommytug_

Heads of States are in TROUBLE!

 

Jessica Tome _@the_jessica_tome_

What do you think will happen if government leaders are arrested?

 

* * *

 

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* * *

 

Pepper Potts was not one to panic, but the moment Zemo turned the camera to face Darcy, she had to fight to keep her breathing even. Even so, her fingers were constantly twitching as she barked out orders to anyone in SI who was capable of finding Darcy. Then she called Tony and had a very brief discussion with him.

 

While things between the two had been shaky for a long time, in the last couple of months, they had started to repair their relationship, thanks to Darcy. She had showed up one day and literally locked them both in a closet until they talked, declaring that she was not going to be a child of divorce when they still were in love with each other. Pepper knew she was right and it was time to face the mess that was their relationship head on. Tony needed her after everything that happened, and admittedly, she needed him too. She always had.

 

Darcy just needed to remind her of it.

 

Darcy.

 

Pepper sighed. She never really wanted kids of her own. When she was younger, she thought it a possibility, but she was too driven to succeed in the workplace. Somewhere along the way, she decided that working at Stark Industries with Tony Stark was more important. She gave up on ever having a child of her own and she never thought it a great loss. Even now, she knew she didn’t want them, but Darcy was different.

 

Pepper took Darcy under her wing the very first time they met. Over the years, Pepper really did start to see the young woman as the daughter she would have liked to have had. She and Tony even talked about it once. The conversation was awkward and stilted, but she knew that he felt the same way.

 

To find out that their pseudo daughter had a whole secret life that they didn’t know about was shocking and upsetting to say the least. Pepper knew it would hit harder when they had time to properly process it, but for now there were more pressing issues to deal with.

 

While Steve waited his requisite thirty minutes, Pepper had been put into a car and driven by Happy to the upstate Avengers Facility about an hour away. A screen in the back of the car allowed her to watch what was happening in real time. Any other occasion, and Pepper would have found some of Steve’s and the Avenger’s anecdotes funny, but Pepper couldn’t even find it in herself to smile. Well, her lips did twitch for a moment when Steve admitted Darcy kicked him in the groin, but otherwise she maintained a blank mask as she listened in mounting worry.

 

Pepper gasped in relief when Darcy reconnected to the video chat. Once she got control of her breathing and blinked away the wetness in her eyes, she focused on what Darcy was saying, fully resolved on yelling at Darcy later for worrying her.

 

Upon reaching the facility, Pepper made Happy take her arm and lead her through the building as she refused to look away from the tablet she had pulled out. She only put it down when Tony called out her name.

 

Pepper looked up and hurried to the man she’d been in love with for over a decade. They held hands as they sat stiffly and looked at Darcy and the rogue Avengers.

 

Rhodey came up next to them and lounged on the couch. He smiled and laughed at some of the remarks. While he tensed up at the mention of Ross, he wasn’t too concerned, and Pepper found herself annoyed with him.

 

Noticing this, Rhodey asked, “What’s wrong with you two?”

 

“What’s wrong with _us?_ ” Tony snapped before Pepper could respond. “That is Darcy, Rhodey. Darcy. You,” he swallowed. “You don’t know what she means to me, to us,” Tony corrected. “She’s still in danger and I still can’t find her. Friday?”

 

“Sorry, boss,” the Irish lilt of the AI said quietly. “The tracking programs still have not been able to pinpoint her location.”

 

Tony rubbed his eyes roughly with his palms.

 

“Tony,” Pepper soothed as she took his hands in hers. “She’ll be okay. She always is.”

 

“I know,” Tony said quickly. “I just,” he tapped his foot up and down. “I have a bad feeling, Pep.”

 

* * *

 

Miranda and Justin _@OficialAvengerFollowers_

We are back in Business!

 

Yolanda Gutierrez _@iamyogurl_

Okay, I have to share this. So I’m in Times Square and this woman pointed out why Steve and Darcy are perfect for each other. Darcy’s kind of wild and totally modern, while Steve’s rigid and reserved. You’d think they’re total opposites. But the woman said that Steve is strong enough to handle Darcy’s energy and give it and her a purpose. Darcy gets Steve to loosen up and have fun, and is also able to handle the craziness that comes with being Captain America. So their differences make them stronger, but underneath that, they have the same values. They’re both kind, honest, loyal, and willing to stand up for what’s right. So they work!

 

Stewie Long _@thestewielong_

Very insightful _@iamyogurl_. It would be wrong to intrude on Steve’s and Darcy’s personal lives, but I would be interested in seeing them together more. Two people in love is beautiful to watch.

 

Jessica Tome _@the_jessica_tome_

I’m seriously thinking of going lesbian. First Black Widow, now Darcy Lewis! _#BAMFDarcy #dontpissoffDarcy_

 

Stewie Long _@thestewielong_

Did you all see her fighting style? Black Widow obviously had a hand in her training. I would think Lady Sif, the Norse Goddess of War, also helped. _#BAMFDarcy_

 

Sierra Staccato _@SilenceIsLoud_

All I know is that she is rocking that armour. I think I know what I’m going to be for Halloween!

 

Mary Anne Silt _@merryannesings_

I feel so sorry for poor Bogani. He just got caught up in this mess by trying to help his family.

 

James Goode _@dogooderjames_

Well, that was quite magnanimous of her. _#caringDarcyLewis_

 

Miranda and Justin _@OficialAvengerFollowers_

This is why Darcy is the best. She doesn’t care about the technicality of right and wrong. She cares about morally right and wrong. What are people’s intentions, motives, etc. And she doesn’t hold mistakes against a person who is sincerely trying to do good.

 

Amy Darning _@Mythologynerd202_

Darcy can pick up Mjolnir. Darcy is worthy. Darcy is WORTHY! Do you know what this means? According to Norse Mythology, there have only been a handful of people in thousands of years that could pick up Mjolnir and they all go on to do great things. _#BAMFDarcy #DarcyLewisisimportant #marrymeDarcy_

 

Cindy Murray _@captainamericaluver4life_

I’ve been thinking about what Darcy said about her deserving a superhero name.* What do you think of Shockray? Zinger? Ardor?

 

Sierra Staccato _@SilenceIsLoud_

 _@captainamericaluver4life_ Why not just Taser?

 

Cindy Murray _@captainamericaluver4life_

 _@SilenceIsLoud_ but that’s so boring!

 

Chris Bride _@capfan2888_

What about Cadence? It means rhythm and flow, sometimes leading to resolution in music.

 

Cody Stark _@iamcodystark_

Silverbolt. You know, for her lightning staff. Just putting it out there.

 

Jessica Tome _@the_jessica_tome_

Beacon. It fits. She’s like a beacon of hope.

 

Amy Darning _@Mythologynerd202_

I want to give a nod to the origin of her powers. Something with space. Like Sunburst or Starbolt. Lodestar maybe?

 

Yolanda Gutierrez _@iamyogurl_

You guys are all wrong. If you want to give her an appropriate name, call her Maven. It means “Expert or connoisseur” which Darcy totally is.

 

Cindy Murray _@captainamericaluver4life_

Wait, did Darcy just say Munchkins?

 

James Goode _@dogooderjames_

HAHAHA! Super serum swimmers! Look at Cap’s face! He’s having quadruplets! This is priceless!

 

* * *

 

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* * *

 

There was little room for Beth to maneuver through Times Square.

 

Hundreds of people had plopped themselves on the ground early in the morning when the news hit about the Avengers upcoming livestream chat. Perhaps it was because this was New York City, the home of the Avengers for years, or maybe because people just couldn’t resist watching a superhero, but the city had basically shut down for the duration of the chat, at least shut down as a mush as a metropolis can. Closed signs went up. Meetings were rescheduled. And anyone from the age of ten to ninety huddled around a television, computer, tablet or phone when noon came around.

 

The ads normally displayed in Times Square had been replaced by CNN that would play the video chat with a ten second delay. Some people brought folding chairs or blankets to sit on for the hot summer day. Some brought their families and friends and made a sort of picnic there on the sidewalk, occasionally spilling into the street. There wasn’t much chance of being run over though, especially now. The drivers had stopped their vehicles and were watching the various screens all over the square.

 

Beth found her stomach turning over at the apathy displayed by her fellow New Yorkers. The Avengers were people. They were people who put their lives on the line and fought impossible battles and here everyone was treating this chat as some sort of sick spectacle. Beth could understand wanting to watch the video chat, but not like this. Around her, people were gathered like this was a big party.

 

She had come to Times Square to watch because it was where her husband would be stationed, and she knew she would need the support if something awful happened. She settled herself on a foldout chair graciously given to her by a stranger and rubbed her expanding stomach in soothing circles. Wrinkling her nose, Beth took the hand of her husband standing next to her and looked up at the face of Steve Rogers with a concerned furrow in her brow.

 

Outside of her husband, she had never told anyone that she knew Captain America. She’d had her fifteen minutes of fame four years ago when the news played the short interview over and over again that she had given about the good Captain saving her life. Little did anyone realize that that wasn’t the first interaction she’d had with him, and it certainly wasn’t the last.

 

When Beth first met Steve, she had instantly sensed an innate sadness about him. That seemed to lessen over time. Steve had returned to her diner and sat in her section many times both before and after the Battle of New York. After that first time, he was never alone. There was always a dark-haired girl with him, and Beth had the genuine pleasure of watching two people come together and fall in love. It didn’t surprise Beth one bit to learn Steve had finally wised up and married the girl. Darcy. What a spitfire she was, Beth thought with a smile. And a damn fine tipper to boot!

 

If she was being honest, she could understand why everyone around her was entertained by what was happening now. The constant bleeping out of cuss words - mostly from Clint Barton - only added to a bit of the amusement. Now that the danger had passed, Beth found she could allow herself to laugh along.

 

Darcy seemed to have things well in hand and she was fun to watch. Hell, she was fun just to hear about! There had already been mass hilarity when Steve relayed how they met.

 

Poor boy. He’s never living that down.

 

He came away cleaner than Hammond Zemo at least. That man is going to face so much hell in prison.

 

It was then that Beth found herself watching the people around her almost as much as Darcy and the Avengers. People-watching was a habit she picked up during her time as a waitress. Sure, she was interested in what they were watching, but she found she had a gift of knowing what kind of person someone was from their reactions to the things around them.

 

From what she could see, everyone was at first shocked and confused. Not surprising. Darcy was so sudden a change. Zemo and the Avengers had been so serious. Dangerous. A sense of foreboding had settled over Beth and her neighbors like a shroud. Then Darcy came on the screen, and it was like being propelled to the surface of a dark ocean to find the sun shining. The constricting pressure on her ribs eased. Beth could _breathe_. As she did, her shoulder and elbow joints creaked from being held stiff, something she hadn’t even realized she’d been doing.

 

Soon though, a few people looked up at Darcy with disapproving frowns. Some were outright offended by her behavior, believing it to be obnoxious. Those naysayers were quickly shut down when the majority of people pointed out that Darcy was just kidnapped and she had every right to be rude to those responsible.

 

On the whole, the masses were fascinated and greatly entertained by Darcy. The tense atmosphere hanging over the square was replaced by one of anticipation of what Darcy would say next.

 

_“They’re strong enough to keep Steve tied up at least.”_

 

Beth choked on her laughter and looked over at her husband, Matt. He grinned back at her and she looked at the reactions of those next to her. A few teenage girls giggled madly while a group of middle-aged mothers tried very hard not to smile. Some men outright laughed, along with most everyone.

 

“This is great,” one of the men near her said as he leaned back in his canvas folding chair. “I’m with the Hawk. I could just watch this all day. Damn, Cap’s one lucky man.”

 

His friend nodded. “Never thought I’d say this about Captain America of all people, but that girl is so out of his league!”

 

Beth smirked and continued to people-watch as she listened to Darcy and the Avengers.

 

As Darcy started her spiel, Beth carefully examined as many faces as she could.

 

There was the expected shock at all of the secrets revealed, about Ross, the Accords, and about Darcy herself.

 

There was confusion as to how Darcy could tear down the Accords and prove the Avengers innocent. Then she did it and comprehension dawned on everyone’s faces, leaving them wide-eyed, gape-mouthed, and pink-cheeked with embarrassment at their ignorance and Darcy’s chastising.

 

In fact, Beth was pleased to see a lot of people hunch their shoulders and look down in shame as Darcy told them about the events of the last few years. Beth knew the Avengers were never responsible. She trusted them and it always made her blood boil to hear a person disparaging the heroes they owed their lives to.

 

When Darcy mentioned that she was posting all of her evidence online, mobile devices were whipped out of pockets and bags. Those who doubted the legitimacy of her claims pursed their lips as they read. Their blinders were finally being forcefully removed.

 

Beth leaned towards a teenager who’d pulled out her own phone and was looking at it in awe.

 

“What’s it say?” Beth asked. The dark-haired girl looked up at her with wide eyes.

 

“It’s all here,” she said, scrolling up and down and zooming in at parts. “This is the biggest data dump since SHIELD fell, only none of this is encrypted. Anyone can read and understand it.” She looked up at Darcy’s image on the screen with glimmering eyes. “That woman is my new hero,” she whispered reverently. She scrolled left to a new page on her phone and typed out a message. Beth watched with interest as she read over the girl’s shoulder.

 

Yolanda Gutierrez _@iamyogurl_

Darcy is my new hero. Like, seriously. I want to be her when I grow up. _#IwannabelikeDarcy #AllHailPrincessDarcy #BAMFDarcy #Lifejustgotbetter #faithinhumanityrestored_

 

Beth shook her head in amusement.

 

A moment later, she found herself nodding in agreement to what Darcy was saying about sharing information with the public. The motion was copied by many other people around her, and an older man chuckled heartily when Darcy yelled, “ _I was right!_ ”

 

Hearing the explanation of the events in Lagos made a shiver of fear go up Beth’s spine. She met the eyes of several strangers, all thinking the same thing: New York City would have been a probable target if Hydra had gotten their hands on that virus.

 

It made the people of New York and - Beth could only assume - many other parts of the world soften towards the rogue heroes. They were reminded that the Avengers _were_ heroes. Somehow, in all of the politics, that was forgotten. Darcy was right though, the Avengers’ main goal was to save lives; to protect people when they couldn’t protect themselves.

 

Darcy clearly wasn’t one to need protection though. Beth’s jaw dropped when Darcy took down a dozen armed men and then bounced happily forward to announce that she “really liked tasing people.”

 

“Holy Hell!” Matt shrieked. A surprised burst of giggles erupted from Beth’s throat at that. Matt looked over at her with wide eyes. “And this chick is your friend?”*

 

“Hush!” Beth chastised quickly, glancing around to see if anyone noticed. “Acquaintance,” she corrected in a whisper. “Though I guess we can be counted as friends. We try to keep in touch, but it’s only every few months. She’s pretty busy.”

 

“You don’t say,” he retorted sarcastically.

 

Beth rolled her eyes and returned to watching.

 

Darcy didn’t leave much room for argument when outlining the unlawful points in the Accords and the coercion used to force countries to sign.

 

“No!” shouted Yolanda, catching Beth’s attention. Yolanda looked to one of her friends with a scowl. “Twitter just crashed,” she complained with a pout. “It’ll reboot in a few minutes. Probably too many people for the server to handle....Wikipedia, too,” she added after a moment.

 

When the remaining men swarmed into the warehouse with Darcy, Beth became a bit more worried. Then she was slightly shocked. Then she was just resigned to the fact that Darcy Lewis will always have a surprise in store. _Really_ , Beth chastised herself, _I should know this by now_.

 

“ _I promise I will not embarrass you on worldwide media._ ”

 

Beth snorted. There was no way this was going to end well for those men. Darcy acted with the confidence of someone who knew they were going to win.

 

Beth’s eyes still flew open wide when Darcy summoned a magical club that extended into a magical staff and proceeded to beat the crap out of her attackers.

 

“Jesus,” the nearby man from earlier whispered. “I still think Darcy’s out of Steve’s league, but I’m pretty sure he’s one of the few people alive that could handle that much woman.” He shook his head. “ _That_ is a brave man, folks.”

 

“Captain America has always been stupidly brave,” Beth couldn’t help but say loudly. “But can’t you see why he would fall in love with her?” she gestured to the screen as the man and several others around her glanced at her curiously. “She’s just as stupidly brave as he is,” she said with a laugh. “She takes no man’s shit, is sometimes brutally honest, and doesn’t even blink at the insanity around her, something most people would have a hard time just accepting.” Beth paused in thought and spoke more to herself. “They’re different in a way that makes them stronger. She’s a wild card, but he’s strong enough to...not control, but help her channel her energy. He gives her a purpose. In return, she makes him live his life for himself and not for others. She can obviously be fierce but,” Beth watched as Darcy gave Bogani a second chance, “she can be soft, too. Behind all of their surface differences, they’re the same. They’re both kind and compassionate, honest, loyal, hard-working, and maybe just a little too stubborn and self-sacrificing for their own good.” Beth smiled widely. “They’re a perfect match.”

 

Yolanda was watching her with interest, head swiveling between Beth and the large screens. “I really need twitter to be up so I can quote you. That makes so much sense.” She checked her phone and let out a joyous cry as she started typing madly.

 

The rest of the video chat passed in highs and lows, and Beth catalogued as many reactions as she could to tell Darcy whenever it was next they spoke.

 

The revelation that Darcy was deemed worthy didn’t shock the general population like it did the Avengers. Beth concluded that they didn’t really understand the significance. They were also pretty much overloaded with information as it was. Add to it was the fact that Darcy had already proven to everyone just how formidable she could be, so it wasn’t that much of a stretch.

 

Everyone did get a kick out of Darcy’s bickering with Clint and especially her dilly-dallying with Steve after revealing she was carrying more than one baby. When she asked him about his feelings on quadruplets, it sounded like one giant audible gasp in Times Square. After the initial shock, half of them shook their heads in pity and the other half practically fell to the ground laughing hysterically. Beth herself couldn’t help but snort as she tried unsuccessfully to contain her laugh at Steve’s reaction.

 

“Damn it,” Yolanda muttered. “Down again.”

 

To learn that Darcy was just messing with him only seemed to endear her to people.

 

“Aww!” one of Yolanda’s friends cooed. “I bet their kids are so cute! Do you think we’ll eventually get to see them?” she asked excitedly to no one in particular.

 

What threw off many people was the Black Widow. Beth couldn’t stop smiling while Natasha Romanov was talking, but looking at everyone else, she could see that they were nonplussed by the woman. Black Widow had a reputation as a stoic assassin; hard to read, distant, and disinterested in the lives of those around her. She was thought of as a dangerous assassin first and a woman rarely.

 

Well, Natasha was still dangerous, but...Beth could see a few people looking at her image in contemplation. She herself was reformulating her own idea of the Black Widow. Natasha was a spy, an assassin, and a superhero that fought all sorts of monsters...but she was a woman, too.

 

Beth looked at Natasha as she threatened Scott Lang and felt something she’d never thought she’d feel towards the woman. Sympathy. Beth rubbed her stomach and thought about what it must be like for her.

 

Natasha can do things most people would never dare to dream of. In this one area though, she was deficient. The Avengers didn’t say it, but Beth knew, and she could tell most people understood what Natasha’s actions meant as well. What must it be like to know that you would never even have the choice to have children?

 

Some people were fine with it. Beth had an aunt who chose to never have children and she was one of the happiest and most fulfilled people Beth knew. But her aunt chose that. Beth didn’t understand how she innately knew, but she understood immediately that Natasha didn’t chose that. That choice was taken from Natasha Romanov.

 

And she felt its loss.

 

Beth turned to Matt. “Next time I see Darcy,” she told him firmly. “I’m asking to be introduced to Natasha Romanov. If that woman wants to cuddle babies, then I am going to make sure she can cuddle babies.”

 

Matt’s mouth dropped and he spluttered. “Are you serious?”

 

Beth narrowed her eyes. “You don’t trust her?” she challenged.

 

“No. I mean yes. I mean - I,” Matt trailed off at the glare Beth was giving him. “I - suppose there’s no harm in it,” he settled on.

 

Beth nodded her head and tuned back into what the Avengers were saying. Her eyes widened before she smirked. “Oh my god,” she whispered. “I know what they named him.”

 

Matt leaned close and whispered, “What?”

 

Beth chuckled. “Sable. Sable is the hint! _I know what their son’s name is!”_ she sing-songed.

 

Matt shook his head and rolled his eyes. He didn’t try to get it out of her as he knew she wouldn’t spoil the surprise.

 

Darcy inviting new people to join the videochat was entertaining and enlightening. Beth couldn’t help but approve of Darcy’s idea to recruit people outside of the Avengers. It was good to not put all of your eggs in one basket as the saying goes. However, when it was revealed who was involved, Beth frowned a bit and looked at how everyone else would receive the news.

 

There were many more disapproving looks from people than before. If Darcy wasn’t careful, the public could turn against her because of who she associated with.

 

Steve’s defense of not only Darcy, but of Quake and Frank Castle made many people think though. Beth could see that the frowns people wore were less because of dislike, and more because they were truly thinking about what was said.

 

There was so much confusion for the general populace about inhumans and vigilantes. Now, there was still a lot to consider when deciding what’s right and what’s wrong, but Beth could see that people were putting themselves in those people’s mindsets. It was amazing to watch actually.

 

Beth couldn’t look away from one man a few feet from her that was sitting with his family. When Frank Castle was first mentioned, that man became angry. He shook his head and turned away and called Frank a monster and that he was wrong about Captain America being a good man.

 

And then the man looked at his two daughters. He held the youngest’s hand. His anger melted into sadness. He didn’t say another word. He just listened to the men and women on the screens.

 

Beth didn’t know what the consequences of this chat would be, but she knew that tomorrow would be different. People would feel and think different. Maybe not all of them. But enough.

 

People can change over time, but sometimes a single event can make that change happen suddenly. Beth knew. The day after the invasion, she woke up and just stared at her small apartment. She’d wondered why the hell she wanted that new coffee table last week. Her old one wasn’t damaged and fit just as well, but Beth had wanted a change.

 

After everything, it just didn’t matter anymore. It was like suddenly she could see clearly. The things that were important to her, and the things that weren’t. So she had gotten up, taken a trash bag and filled it with everything she didn’t care about anymore. A lot of those things went to people who’d lost their homes in the attack. Eventually, Beth had felt a sense of peace in knowing that.

 

But before that, she’d dropped off her bags at the donation sight, went back home, climbed the fire escape to her roof, and cried. She had cried at how beautiful a day it was and that was wrong because she had heard people crying - howling - in pain and sadness on her way back home. She had cried because she couldn’t shake the fear that the aliens would somehow come back. She cried because of the police officer she had watched die. But mostly, she cried because she was still alive.

 

Beth was still alive and she was happy and confused and scared and guilty. She couldn’t understand any of it. Why did this happen? Why did she get to live? How could someone who lived such a life just suddenly have it end? But it did. To so many people. And not her. She cried and laughed and felt stupid and ridiculous and she knew anyone who saw her would think she was insane. The world around her became too big too fast.

 

She found herself equal to it though. Beth had allowed herself that one day to cry, and then she got to work.

 

Looking back on it, Beth couldn’t help but be grateful. It was horrible _why_ the change came over her, but it was a change that made her better. She was no longer listlessly drifting in life. She had a path. She knew who she was.

 

And maybe, Beth couldn’t help but hope, seeing the world through the Avenger’s and _especially_ through Darcy’s eyes would make people reconsider their own actions.

 

She _really_ hoped this was the case when Darcy started enumerating Secretary of State Thaddeus Ross’s illegal actions. Darcy’s small tangents about teaching people to use their powers and the effects of trying to create a super soldier were insightful no matter how brief they were. It was just another angle that most people had never thought to consider before.

 

Then Darcy really tore into Ross. The absolute disregard for human life shown by that man was astounding. That he experimented on his own daughter was sickening. And what she described about the children…

 

Beth wrapped her arms around her stomach as though she could keep any harm from her unborn child.

 

Beth watched as many people scoffed in disgust at learning he was responsible for so much suffering.

 

And then Darcy became furious. Beth cringed back, along with practically everyone else in Times Square. Beth’s breathe caught in her throat when Darcy told them about the treatment Wanda had suffered. Glancing around, she saw many nodding their heads in condemnation of Ross.

 

Eyes steadily went wide all over the square when Darcy totalled up Ross’s charges. Jaws dropped when Darcy explained that every government leader whose country signed the Accords were legal accomplices to Ross and therefore just as guilty. The final shock was when Darcy basically told everyone she could now take over the world unless all of the countries did what she told them to.

 

“By the Balls” was a very appropriate name for Phase III of Operation: Bitch Slap, thought Beth. Even knowing Darcy as she did, Beth felt a small shiver of fear travel down her spine. Then she blinked. Actually, Beth mused, it probably wouldn’t be so bad if Darcy ruled the world. She snorted at the thought.

 

It’s a good thing Darcy wasn’t malicious. Her demands were reasonable and she even admitted that having a relationship between the Avengers and world governments was a good idea. People may have been on Darcy’s side now, but Beth knew that if she hadn’t put forth the olive branch then, pretty soon, normal people would again start to think that superhumans could do whatever they wanted and become hostile towards anyone they thought could subject them.

 

All in all, Beth was quite happy at how this had turned out. Knowing that it was pretty much over, Beth allowed herself to relax and join in everyone’s amusement at the Avenger’s interactions. Although, she was slightly disappointed that she wouldn’t be able to see Darcy chew out the heroes right now. Maybe she could convince Darcy to record it so she could watch later.

 

Beth had just intertwined her fingers with her husband’s, a content smile on her face, when Bogani ran to Darcy, shouting that they had to leave.

 

Beth watched the proceedings with Darcy facing her buyer, who was then revealed to be Ross. Nausea started to crawl up her throat and goosebumps erupted over her skin, despite the hot sun shining down.

 

“No,” Beth whispered as fear overcame her for the vibrant woman she was lucky to maybe call a friend.

 

“ _RUN!_ ” Steve shouted. Beth took in short, gasping breaths and her grip tightened in Matt’s.

 

She’d seen footage of Bruce Banner transforming into the Hulk. It was a smooth transition, almost graceful.

 

Ross’s transformation was nothing like that. It was disjointed and loud and terrifying to watch and listen to.

 

Then the giant red _thing_ let out a cry that Beth felt in her bones as she covered her ears. Sparks drew her attention to the left of the square as one screen fizzed and rattled before breaking in a shattering of glass.

 

Beth’s eyes flicked to another screen just in time to see Darcy’s corner go dark.

 

Yet as people started to shake off their shock and begin to panic, Beth felt a small bit of calm deep inside.

 

If anyone could handle a Hulk, it was Darcy.

 

And that was something Beth just had to believe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually started this chapter with Beth's section. I started off staring at a blank document and then suddenly Beth took me by surprise and I could actually write! 
> 
> *Shout out to fayth82 who reviewed on chapter 9 and gave me #marrymeDarcy.
> 
> *I will be including Beth in more chapters in the future! But that's a ways away.
> 
> *I do want to give Darcy a superhero name, and those are some of my ideas. If anyone comes up with a really good one, let me know. On that note, is there a way to set up a poll for easy access?
> 
> *Shockray: tasing people - shocking...get it?
> 
> *Zinger: urban dictionary describes it as the new term for "owned" after saying something witty.
> 
> *Ardor: enthusiasm or passion, which Darcy has a lot of.
> 
> *Taser: the go-to codename for Darcy in other fics, but I think she needs something more original.
> 
> *Cadence: shout out to how much she loves music.
> 
> *Silverbolt: for her lightning staff.
> 
> *Beacon: beacon of hope, plus she draws in everyone around her and leads them to safety.
> 
> *Sunburst and Starbolt: shout out to her space powers.
> 
> *Lodestar: another shout out to space; a star that is used to guide the course (of a ship).
> 
> *Maven: expert or connoisseur; Yiddish word meaning accumulator of knowledge.


	12. A Mad Scientist Form of Silly Putty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Steve and Darcy come together.
> 
> OR
> 
> Ross is an ass.
> 
> There's a big fight.
> 
> The back-up is awesome.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no excuse for this being so late other than I have had a super nerve-wracking kind of week and anxiety reared its ugly head. I need some positivity. Anyway, I hope you enjoy it.
> 
> No characters are mine. This is just my spin.

Darcy heard Ross’s scream echoing off the metal containers around her. She knew she was in some sort of industrial park/shipping yard, and less than a mile away, the warehouses gave way to multi-level brick buildings. Further on, skyscrapers of an unfamiliar city loomed.

 

 _Too close_ , Darcy thought as she gasped for breath as she ran. No matter how long she spent on a treadmill or how well her armour kept everything in place, she was not made for running. _Too close for a Hulk-attack._

 

“Heimdall!” she shouted to the sky as she focused on just _running away_. A second later, a bright beam of multi-colored light came down from the sky and landed just twenty feet from her. Yet in the same moment, a loud crash of ripping metal sounded behind her. She glanced behind and saw a large red shape soaring down from the sky in her direction.

 

The beam of light retracted immediately. Darcy turned and sprinted in the opposite direction as she felt the earth shake beneath her feet from Ross landing on the black runes burned into the ground where the Bifrost had been.

 

Darcy ran along a red shipping container as her panicked eyes scanned for something - anything - she could use. She still had Kitty in her hand, but didn’t know if it would be enough to stop a Hulk.

 

Behind her, Ross shoved the metal storage unit roughly out of the way and lumbered after his quarry.

 

At the end of the row on her left, Darcy could see that instead of another shipping container, there were stacks of red oil barrels. She pushed herself into a faster sprint. She could feel Ross running after her. He was only a few meters behind.

 

As she reached the cross section, Darcy turned left, ran passed the barrels and then spun, aiming Kitty at the barrels and letting off a hot bolt of lightning before completing her spin and ducking behind the next row as the spark made contact with a barrel just as Ross rounded the corner.

 

The first barrel exploded and set off the other barrels, engulfing that section in a red and yellow inferno. Ross was blasted back through a sidelined container from the force of the explosion.

 

Darcy paid no attention to the heat behind her and continued to run back where she originally came from, having basically made a u-turn down a parallel alley the shipping containers formed.

 

She turned right at a juncture halfway down and ran until she could turn left towards another warehouse, hoping to lose Ross in the metal maze long enough to either hide or put enough distance between them that Heimdall could send the Bifrost.

 

The explosion Ross had suffered had delayed him somewhat. He groaned as he pushed himself up and out of the twisted metal, rubbing his head as he did so. He shook himself back into focus and narrowed his eyes as he growled in frustration.

 

“I will catch you, girl!” he thundered. “You can’t fight me! You can’t hide from me! And you can’t run fast enough!” Ross then jumped just high enough into the sky that he could see well over the stacked walls around him. There, he saw Darcy within an easy enough distance. When he landed, he rampaged through the metal barriers, tossing them aside with barely any effort.

 

Eyes wide in terror, Darcy didn’t bother looking back was she sprinted for all she was worth. For a moment, Darcy thought the sky lightened, but the containers towered over her so much that she could hardly see more of the sky than what was right above and in front of her. The sound of metal shrieking behind her and the rumble of Ross’s footsteps spurred her to new speeds as she aimed for an ajar door on the warehouse’s side. She didn’t know what she was going to do once inside - Ross could easily bust the wall in, but she need some kind of obstacle to slow him down if she wanted to survive.

 

And then a metal container soared over her head and slammed into the building, completely blocking the entry.

 

Darcy gasped, her feet stomping into the ground as she came to an abrupt halt. She knew, on an instinctive level, that she could not outrun Ross. If she tried, she would only give him an easy target with her back to him as it was.

 

She spun and held her staff in both hands, watching Ross approach with an easy gait and curled lip upon his smug face. Darcy took a step back for every one he took forward, but with Ross’s long strides, he quickly loomed over her.

 

Darcy grit her teeth as she prepared to jab Ross with the highest voltage Kitty was capable of. Just a couple more steps…

 

Then Ross’s head jerked forward and he stumbled. Darcy dove to the right and landed in a roll that propelled her back to her feet in time to see a golden shield return to the hand of it’s owner. Said owner leapt up and kicked Ross in the face hard enough to knock him down. They landed on their feet as Ross fell back with a rumble that shook the earth.

 

Darcy just stood gaping at Steve, clad in a black tac suit and combat boots with a golden Asgardian shield strapped to his arm, while Ross groaned and rolled over to stand back up. Steve didn’t spare him a glance as he ran at Darcy.

 

“Wha-” was all Darcy managed before Steve, not breaking stride, bent and scooped her up bridal style, sprinting between the warehouses and the shipping containers.

 

“Are you mad at me?” Darcy asked as she clung to his shoulders.

 

“I’ll yell at you later,” he replied distractedly as he turned down a metal alley. “What’re the chances you’ll let Heimdall beam you to Asgard?”

 

“Pretty good actually,” Darcy quipped. “But Ross is focused on me. There’s a chance Heimdall won’t be able to close the Bifrost before Ross could follow me through. Heimdall is sworn to protect Asgard. He can’t exactly bring a rampaging Red Hulk across the realms. Left!” Darcy suddenly yelled.

 

Steve obeyed immediately and turned left just as a ball of crush metal bowled passed them.

 

“Well, then,” Steve huffed, “it’s a good thing I brought back-up.” He smiled slightly and made another turn before Ross suddenly landed in front of them with a growl.

 

Steve skidded to a halt and clutched Darcy to his chest as he reversed back the way he came.

 

Unlike Darcy, Steve ran just fast enough to keep some distance between them and Ross, and he sprinted towards the warehouse at the end of the row. When he reach it, Steve stopped running and turned to face Ross with his back to the wall, a triumphant glint in his eyes.

 

Ross slowed his approach until he came to stand a few meters away. Darcy clutched Steve tighter as she looked at the Red Hulk warily, but made no move to push Steve into running.

 

“ROSS!”

 

The shout came from above and made all three look up. Standing above Steve and Darcy on the concrete edging was Bruce Banner, breathing deeply through his nose to keep calm. Aside from his Asgardian wear of intricate brown tunic and robe with leather trousers and boots, he looked very much like he always had, wire-framed glasses and fluffy hair included.

 

Ross answered in his guttural voice with clear disdain, “ _Banner_.”

 

Darcy’s eyes grew brighter as she smiled hopefully.

 

Bruce’s fisted hands clenched tighter. He shook his head. “You made my life hell. You separated me from the woman I loved, hunted me all over the world, dumped all of the damage you caused on my shoulders, and _then,_ ” he paused, his voice still managing to project through the area despite his lower volume. “You tried to destroy one of the only good things that I could still be proud of. You tried to destroy the Avengers.” Bruce took a deep breath and exhaled slowly through his mouth. “Now I’m going to do what I’ve wanted to do for years.”

 

Ross shifted his stance slightly. “And what might that be?” he hissed in his deep voice.

 

Bruce sneered. “I’m about to fuck you up.”

 

Ross sneered as a rumble sounded deep in his throat.

 

Bruce took off his glasses and carelessly tossed them behind him while he took a step back. Then he took a running leap off the building.

 

Ross let loose a roar as he jumped up to meet him, but Bruce transformed in midair, skin turning green, clothes shedding off him in tatters as his body exploded into the massive form of the Hulk. Not a second later, Hulk slammed into Ross midair, and the two tumbled down to the ground, skidding along and crashing into a metal shipping container.

 

“Whoohoo!” Darcy shouted, raising her arms in a cheer as Steve still held her in his arms. “Get him Hulkie!”

 

Steve shifted her before walking swiftly along the side of the building, hoping to get to a safer position, though he kept them turned to the fight so they could see what was happening.

 

It was clear Hulk was not holding back in this fight. Whereas he had worked with the Avengers enough that he would sometimes control the amount of strength he used in his punches and not go for a lethal hit, this fight, the Hulk really was a rage monster. There was little finesse, taking hits from Ross because he just didn’t care as long as he could deal the most damage. Hulk pounded his fist into Ross’s face over and over again from where he kneeled on top of him.

 

Then Ross blocked a punch and was able to throw Hulk off. The two stood and starting charging each other, coming together again and again. Hulk punched. Ross dodged and hit Hulk’s back. Hulk roared, spun and attacked again.

 

“Are we sure Hulk can handle him?” Steve asked Darcy as he put her down. They watched Ross and Hulk tumble through the shipping containers as though they were made of cardboard.

 

Darcy shrugged. “He took down the Abomination easily enough.”

 

“Yeah, except the Abomination was insane. His mind was affected by the serum and he lost his ability to strategize during a fight. I’m pretty sure that Ross is completely in control of himself though. He’s still insane,” Steve said with a glance at Darcy, “but he retains all of his military training. Look.”

 

Ross maneuvered Hulk into a headlock that Hulk was having trouble breaking out of.

 

Steve shook his head slightly as he began to look worried. “We never did train Hulk fighting techniques all that much. He mainly uses his brute strength and overwhelming size in a fight.”

 

Darcy bit her lip. Hulk finally broke free and grabbed Ross’s arm that had been choking him to swing his whole body around and throw him quite a distance to the edge of the shipping yard.

 

“I think it’ll be okay. Except…”

 

Steve looked at her questioningly.

 

“You’re right. Ross can strategize, and he’s willing to win in any way he can. If he starts losing-”

 

“Like he is right now,” Steve interjected. Hulk was countering Ross’s punches and hitting him with lightning jabs that were no less powerful.

 

“-then Ross will fight dirty,” Darcy finished.

 

“How?” Steve asked, not looking at her.

 

Ross jumped away from Hulk after taking a beating and soared through the sky. Hulk jumped after him and was able to grab hold of his leg and throw him back down to earth with enough force to cause a small quake. Ross crawled out of the crater his impact made and looked up at Hulk before again standing. Hulk charged him after landing, but Ross just dodged and used Hulk’s own momentum to push him away.

 

The shipping yard they were in was on the outskirts of a city, but Darcy had known from the start that they were too close to civilization. During the fight, the Hulks had steadily made their way out of the warehouse area and closer to the inhabited buildings, Steve and Darcy running along with them to keep them in sight.

 

“Uh oh,” Darcy breathed.

 

“Uh oh?” Steve questioned.

 

Ross had run away from Hulk, and Darcy pointed ahead. There was a metal framework bridge with arches separating the warehouse district from the residential area. Apparently it was a train track because a slightly older model of a passenger train was heading their direction at a moderate pace.

 

“Uh oh,” Steve agreed just as Ross reached one of the support beams and punched through the slightly warped metal, breaking it easily. Hulk roared and barreled into Ross, unfortunately breaking another of the support beams.

 

“Hulk!” Darcy shouted as she ran forward. “The bridge!”

 

Hulk looked back at Darcy and then turned to the broken support beams. The bridge was groaning, metal shrieking as the other beams started to shift. Hulk left Ross and ran under the bridge, lifting his arms and bracing the metal to hold it in place. The groaning stopped, but Ross was smiling at Hulk’s back.

 

Darcy ran closer. “Hey Thunderass! You want me, don’t you? Wasn’t that the whole point of this in the first place?”

 

Steve put his arm around her and pulled her back behind him. “Darcy!”

 

“Hulk needs to hold the bridge until the train passes,” Darcy explained as Ross bypassed Hulk with a smile. Hulk roared at him in warning, but Ross continued on back towards Steve and Darcy. “Besides, I have an idea,” she said.

 

Steve glanced back at her out of the corner of his eye. They both held their breaths for a moment as they made eye contact.

 

“What do you need?”

 

“Five minutes. Keep him from the city.”

 

“Done.” He squeezed her hip gently. “Stay safe.”

 

Darcy placed her hand on his arm and returned his reassuring squeeze. “Don’t die.”

 

Darcy turned and ran back towards the warehouses while Steve prepared to meet Ross, who was charging at him like a bull. Steve jumped at the last second and flipped over Ross’s arm. With a well-placed hand on a red shoulder, Steve was able to kick Ross in the face before flipping off him and leading him back into the warehouse district, dodging his flailing arms all the while.

 

Darcy ran back into a warehouse that connected to the one she was originally held in. From her explorations, she knew there was a makeshift laboratory in one of the smaller sections with various chemicals. Not everything she needed was stocked, but certain cleaning and cooking supplies that she found under a cabinet could be substituted if she rearranged some of the steps.

 

Grabbing several glass bottles she turned on the bunsen burner sitting on a counter and started the process of combining the silicone with the boric acid before moving onto separating polyols from vegetable oil. She had the cyanoacrylate sitting nearby.

 

She winced slightly when she heard a crash echoing from outside. Ross had clipped Steve on the shoulders as he ducked, knocking Steve off balance. He couldn’t recover in time, so held up his shield for protection. Ross backhanded him and sent him flying, back denting the metal he crashed into.

 

A groan escaped Steve’s mouth as gravity basically peeled him out of the hole to land on his stomach. He looked up to see Ross had jumped and was going to land on him if he didn’t _move_. Steve forced himself to roll over several times, just missing being crushed, before popping back to his feet.

 

Using his speed and smaller size - compared to Ross - Steve ducked around Ross’s legs, jumped and bashed the back of Ross’s head with his shield in a backhand.

 

Ross stumbled forward, but recovered quickly. He made several grabs for Steve, missing or being blocked every time, until Steve tried to deliver a kick to Ross’s face. Ross grabbed Steve’s leg and swung him into the ground.

 

The breath was forced from Steve’s lungs at the impact. His eyes widened as Ross brought his giant foot down on Steve’s chest.

 

Steve gasped as his hands scrambled over Ross’s foot, trying to push him off as his lungs burned for air. The golden shield lay forgotten by his shoulder.

 

In the warehouse, Darcy gasped, her hands dropping a bottle to the table as she caught herself from falling when her legs suddenly went boneless. Without a backwards glance, she ran from the room and out of the warehouse. At the doorway, she saw Steve on his back fifty feet away, slowly being pressed into the ground.

 

Darcy’s eyes widened in horror. “Steve!”

 

Steve’s face was contorted in pain, but he tilted his head to look at her through squinted eyes, small, broken breaths leaving his mouth.

 

Ross, too, looked over at Darcy. A nasty smile spread over his face when he saw she was watching, and he raised his foot slightly only to slam it down on Steve’s chest with even more force. The audible crack of Steve’s ribs being broken preceded his gasp of pain. Steve’s eyes were wide and unseeing as his mouth gaped, no sound escaping, no breath taken in or let out. His neck muscles were taught, head thrown back, and his hands were still clawing at Ross’s foot that was slowly grinding into him.

 

Darcy watched on in horror, eyes watering and flickering over the scene before she blinked in revelation and reached behind her to where Kitty was strapped to her back in its shortened baton form. Grabbing it, Darcy’s eyes only glanced down at it for a moment before she looked back up.

 

“Steve,” Darcy said more to herself. “Whatever your hangup is, you better get over it NOW!” She screamed the last word and threw Kitty with perfect aim to Steve. He forced his eyes to find Darcy at her shout and saw Kitty spinning through the air towards him. On reflex, his right hand left Ross and reached out.

 

With a final spin, the Asgardian staff came to rest smoothly in the palm of Steve’s hand.

 

A brilliant flash of light erupted from the staff and engulfed Steve, blasting Ross onto his back several feet away. Darcy shielded her eyes from the light, but a small smile played around her mouth. The lighted faded away after the initial burst, and the figure of Steve Rogers could be seen.

 

As with Darcy, white lightning sparked off his form as he stood slowly, grabbing the shield on his way up. Gone was the black tac suit. In its place was Asgardian armour, navy blue with dark red and black accents**. The attaching metal shoulder pads and plates were shiny gold. More impressive was the fact that Steve seemed to be completely healed from any injury Ross had given him. The forming bruises on his face were gone, and he breathed in deeply, showing that his ribs were no longer broken.

 

As he faced off against Ross with the the staff and shield in hand, Darcy smiled proudly. “Ugh, Jane was right. That is a _good look!_ ” Knowing Steve would be fine, she turned and ran back to the lab so she could finish making her surprise for Ross.

 

Outside, Steve twirled Kitleiptstav in hand, elongating the staff to it’s full form. He and Ross took a few shuffling steps, staring each other down before Steve ran at Ross. Ross jabbed at Steve, but missed as Steve slid underneath his arm, popped to his feet and jumped, using a container’s metal side to push off and gain more height before jabbing the end of the staff at the vulnerable side of Ross’s neck, shocking him as well.

 

Ross groaned as he stumbled back, hunched over. Steve landed gracefully and prowled towards Ross again, determination in his hard eyes.

 

It became a game. Steve toyed with Ross in a cycle of attack, dodge, hit, and retreat, never allowing Ross to regain too much footing, constantly putting him on the defensive.

 

After a couple minutes of this, an echoing roar sounded. Steve grinned. “I think Hulk’s about clear to play again,” he stated.

 

Ross growled.

 

“He’s not the only one,” Darcy’s voice rang out before she came into view. She ran up to stand slightly behind Steve. She whispered, “I need to get to his face.”

 

Steve nodded without looking back. His jaw tightened and he ran forward. Hit, duck, parry. Steve tossed Kitty to Darcy, who let off a bolt of lightning that drew Ross to her before tossing Kitty back to Steve, who used it to whack Ross in the back of the head. Ross stumbled and fell to a knee before attempting to backhand Steve and missing.

 

“Pests!” he roared as Darcy and Steve continued their assault, trading off Kitty and the shield and weaving around Ross in perfect synchrony as he whirled and spun, trying to catch one of them. He didn’t even notice Hulk jump down near them and charge toward him until a punch to the face sent him reeling backwards.

 

Ross turned back to the fight to see Steve and Hulk standing before him. Ross sucked in a breath of air and let it out in a battle cry. Midway through, Darcy flipped over him from behind and landed on top of his head. She brought two small glass bottles crashing together over his face, the liquids within spilling down onto Ross, before she used his head as a springboard and flipped away. Steve caught her and sprinted back behind Hulk before he deemed them a safe distance and turned to see what happened.

 

Ross shook his head, trying to shake the liquids off, but they had reacted to form a sort of putty that expanded to cover his whole face from his forehead to his chin. There was no color to the putty. It simply distorted some of his features, but Ross’s scowl was clear enough. His head shaking became more violent as he brought his hands up to remove the substance, but it was firmly stuck to his face.

 

Darcy smirked triumphantly. “Your body may be invulnerable, Ross,” she said in a strong voice as she push away from Steve to stand on her own two feet, “but you still need to breathe.”

 

Ross shook his head again, his throat straining, body convulsing as he bent double and tried to inhale, but the putty covered his nose and mouth, and no clawing of his thick fingers was able to scrape it away. They could hear his gasping through the putty.

 

Steve placed his hand lightly on Darcy's shoulder, ready to push her behind him just in case. But as Hulk, Steve, and Darcy watched, Ross fell to his knees, still trying to pull the putty that had now hardened off of his face. A moment later his torso collapsed to the ground. His body shook for a few seconds, until he started shrinking. The red skin slowly paled and his black hair turned white again. The popping and cracking of bones instantly breaking, shrinking, and rearranging themselves accompanied the change until a human-shaped Thaddeus Ross lay before them with torn pants covering his legs.

 

When he finally went still, Darcy hurried forward despite Steve’s protesting. From a side pouch hidden under her tunic, Darcy brought out a small plastic bottle full of nail polish remover. She turned Ross over on his back, unscrewed the lid and poured it all over the putty on Ross’s face.

 

“Uh, Darcy?” Steve asked.

 

“The acetone dissolves the cyanoacrylate,*” Darcy explained. “And this,” she pulled a rusted can of WD-40* from the other side, shook it, and sprayed it over the putty as well, “dissolves the silicone polymer.” She tossed the can behind her and reached forward. The putty easily peeled away from Ross’s face. Indeed, it wasn’t really solid anymore and seemed to drip from Darcy’s hands. She flung it away from her and shook her hands out just as Ross took in a deep breath and started choking, his eyes squeezed tight.

 

Darcy stood and looked back at Steve. He stared at her with wide eyes, his mouth slightly open. She shrugged. “Bruce and I discovered the formula a few years ago when we were playing around with silly putty. I knew it’d come in handy to be able to make it anywhere at any time because, well, that’s actually not the first time I’ve had to use it.” Darcy grimaced slightly.

 

Steve huffed. “Are you telling me,” he asked in a disbelieving tone, “that you beat a _hulk_ with _silly putty?_ ”

 

Darcy fidgeted. “Well, it is a mad scientist form of silly putty that sticks to anything it forms on and eventually hardens into a crystal shell, but...yeah, pretty much yeah.”

 

Steve just stared at her. He shifted his arm slightly, and the gold shield fell off his arm to be caught by his hand. He flung it away from him while still looking at Darcy.

 

“You...insane...brilliant, beautiful, but insane,” Steve gasped. Darcy blinked and her whole face softened as she gazed at Steve. He took a few steps forward. “That was stupid,” he whispered lowly as he gazed back. “Stupid of ya to stay here just ta tear down the Accords. If I’d thought it’da done any good I woulda been screamin’ at ya from tha beginnin’ to get the hell outta that warehouse. Cause sweetheart, I may put on a good face,” Steve smiled slightly. “But you scared the hell outta me.”

 

Darcy smiled up at him. “Uh oh. Now I know I scared you. Your Brooklyn* is showing,” she teased.

 

Steve let out a short breathy laugh. “That was stupid, and dangerous, and reckless, and very stupid, and very dangerous,” he listed as Darcy’s smile widened and her eyes got brighter, flicking down to Steve’s mouth. “And please don’t ever-”

 

Darcy stepped forward and went up on tip-toe as she placed her lips over his, effectively silencing him. Her left hand went over his shoulder, fingers on his right spreading through Steve’s hair to bring him closer. Steve breathed in as he closed his eyes, lips pressing against Darcy’s as he pulled her closer by the waist. The kiss had started hard, but softened quickly as they both responded in a slow, languid kiss that morphed into another, and then another. There was no rush, and by all means, it was almost chaste; just the slow slide of lips pressing together until Steve pulled back slightly and cracked open his eyes to look at Darcy.

 

“You’re glowing again,” he whispered in amusement. Darcy was indeed glowing. It was nothing overly apparent, but her skin seemed lighter, brighter, her lips redder against her pale skin shining against the bleak background of the destroyed shipping yard they stood in.

 

Darcy sighed in contentment and opened her own eyes with a smile. Her lips brushed Steve’s as she whispered, “I’m happy. I have you.”

 

Steve closed the distance between them to press a kiss against the corner of her mouth. “I love you,” breathed. He kissed her bottom lip as her eyes fluttered closed. “I missed you,” he continued. He kissed the other corner and then her cheek. “I love you,” he sighed into her ear as he pulled her into a hug and buried his head into the side of her neck. His hands traded places running up her back to her shoulder and slightly down her arm before reversing to check the other side and circling around to feel her ribs on each side. “You’re okay? You’re okay,” he whispered.

 

“I’m not hurt,” Darcy said to Steve’s chest with a slight pucker between her brows. Her hands copied Steve’s movements, slowly moving up and down his body, subtly checking that everything was as it should be. “I’ve been going crazy without you though. I need you.” She turned her head, forcing him to look at her. “I love you.” She smiled again, her eyes cleared of any residual worry.

 

Steve pecked her lips and smiled back. Darcy giggled at him. Her eyes lowered to glance over his Asgardian outfit and she poked him in the stomach. “Well, looks like I was right again. I knew you could lift Kitty,” she said lightly.

 

Steve rolled his eyes playfully. “That makes one of us.”

 

Darcy shook her head, though she was still smiling. “You still don’t see it, do you? I always knew you were worthy,” she said softly. She placed her hand lightly on his cheek. “You could have picked up Meow-Meow a long time ago. You just wouldn’t let yourself believe you were anything special.” Darcy grinned wider. “But I know better.” Her other hand rested over his heart. “I love you,” she said with a beaming smile.

 

Steve smiled back, the corners of his eyes crinkling. He placed his hand over hers on his face and moved it to his lips so he could press a kiss to her palm. Then he lowered his head and kissed her lips again. If it weren’t for the fact that they were both smiling so widely, the kiss would have turned heated, but instead they just rested their heads close together, reveling in each other’s hold.

 

A grunt followed by a squawk broke their bubble and they turned to see Hulk had picked up Ross and was holding him by the legs upside down. Hulk started to raise his arms with a snarl on his face.

 

“Hulk!” Darcy shouted. “No! Stop!”

 

Hulk looked at her. “Ross bad!” he grumbled. He raised his arm a fraction higher and Ross gasped, his eyes flitting all over the place in disorientation.

 

“Yes,” Darcy agreed. “But you can’t smash him into the ground like you did with Loki. Ross is in his human form right now. You’ll kill him if you do it.”

 

Hulk just stared at her.

 

“You can’t kill him Hulk!”

 

Hulk pouted. “Why?” he asked.

 

Darcy held her hands out, palms up. “Because he needs to stand trial for his actions. It’ll help a lot of people long term. You can’t kill him,” Darcy said firmly.

 

Ross was breathing heavily, not really understanding what was happening around him.

 

“Drop him,” Darcy told Hulk with her hands on her hips.

 

“But-”

 

“Now Hulk!” Darcy ordered with a frown. “Or so help me, I will put you in time-out and not let you have any dessert for two weeks.”

 

Hulk frowned and glared at Ross as he held the man upside down. Hulk snorted and then, instead of gently setting him down, dropped him like Darcy had told him. Ross was lucky he didn’t land on his head. Though, he did have the wind knocked out of him as he fell flat on his back.

 

Not satisfied with his enemy’s current physical pain, Hulk flung his head back and hacked deep in his throat several times before he spat a giant blob of saliva and mucus at Ross.

 

Darcy wrinkled her nose. “Ew.”

 

Steve raised a brow and told Hulk blandly, “That was gross.”

 

Ross wiped the mucus from his eyes as much as he could while he sputtered and took in shuddering breaths through his mouth.

 

Darcy leaned closer to Steve. “Easier to clean up than a smashed Ross at least.” She spoke louder to Hulk. “I bet that was satisfying!” Darcy said with a smile.

 

Hulk grunted and sniffed haughtily as he raised his chin in the air, diverting his eyes from Ross and effectively giving him the cold shoulder.

 

“Ugh,” Ross scowled. “You stupid beast,” he rasped as he tried to wipe himself clean. He staggered to his feet. “You’re not getting away this time,” he muttered as he wavered back and forth as though he were drunk. Ross looked deranged; no clothes on except for his torn pants barely clinging to his hips, hair all spiked in disarray, and covered almost completely in shiny slobber and mucus. His eyes were wide and his pupils dilated. Steve placed himself firmly in front of Darcy and looked at Ross with disgust as he stumbled closer. “You’ll see. You freaks. You’re all mine! You-hugph!” Ross fell to his knees and choked as he clutched his throat after Steve swiftly jabbed him in the windpipe.

 

“Oops,” Steve deadpanned. “Darn arm spasms,” he said as he shook his head in faux-remorse. “It’s been happening more and more in my old age. Do you think I should see a doctor about that?” he asked innocently.

 

Darcy snorted and giggled while Hulk smiled and threw his head back in a laugh. “Starman smash Ross good!” he cheered.

 

Ross sulked but finally stayed quiet as he sat on the ground.

 

Steve allowed a smirk to lift one corner of his mouth. “That’s a big compliment coming from you. How’ve you been, Hulk?”

 

Hulk grunted. “Good.” He smiled. “Hulk like Asgard. Good smashing.” Hulk’s smile dimmed and he shuffled his feet. “Hulk miss friends. Hulk miss Pretty Darcy.”

 

Darcy’s eyes got wide as she melted. “Aww, Hulkie-baby. I’ve missed you, too!” She stepped out of Steve’s reach and held her arms open.

 

Hulk stepped forward and bent slowly down to Darcy’s level with a joyful smile. He stiffened though as a look of shock and confusion passed over his face. Hulk frowned and leaned his head down towards Darcy and sniffed deeply. Darcy exchanged a confused shrug with Steve before Hulk’s eyes went comically wide.

 

“Ooooo,” he cooed and pointed at Darcy’s stomach. “Baby.”

 

Darcy’s face instantly brightened. “That’s right. Actually I have _two_ babies in my tummy.”

 

Bruce’s face filled with wonder as he gasped. “ _Ba-bies_ ,” he cooed lowly. He dropped down on his butt and held his hands out to Darcy. “Hulk love babies. Hulk love Pretty Darcy babies.” Darcy giggled and eagerly walked into the space between Hulk’s legs so that she could sit on his thigh and let him cradle her gently. Hulk continued to coo at Darcy while rocking slowly back and forth.

 

“Oh, Heimdall,” Darcy called softly to the sky. “You can send the soldiers to take Ross now.”

 

A moment later, the Bifrost landed and a squadron of twelve soldiers in glimmering Asgardian armour stepped forth to surround Ross, spears pointed at his throat.

 

Darcy watched from her perch. “There’s a recovery period after a Hulk-out that can be prolonged if he doesn’t get the food and rest needed to recharge. You have around an hour to get him into a reinforced cell,” she informed. The head of the squadron nodded and ordered heavy metal cuffs put on Ross’s hands. Then, the soldiers bowed to Darcy with their hands fisted over their hearts. “Our Princess,” the leader said before straightening and leading his men and Ross back through the reopened Bifrost.

 

“What’ll happen to him?” Steve asked.

 

Darcy shrugged. “The Asgardians will insist on keeping him for attacking me until the details of his transfer back to earth can be worked out. Which means more work for me, as I’m the chosen liaison for Asgard to work with Midgard. Ugh.”

 

Hulk petted her hair softly. “Hulk help.”

 

Darcy smiled at him. “Hulk has already helped.” She tipped her head up and waved his face closer. “Thank you for saving my life,” Darcy praised and pressed a kiss to Hulk’s cheek.

 

“Daw,” Hulk murmured bashfully as he looked down with a smile on his face. Darcy giggled at him as his cheeks turned a darker green in a blush.

 

Steve sighed and rolled his eyes at the display. “Okay. We won. Ross is being put in a top security cell, and everything’s fine. Now can we please go see a doctor?”

 

Darcy tilted her head. “Why?”

 

“Why?” Steve repeated incredulously. “Are you kidding me? You’re pregnant, you were held captive for two days, and then you had to run from Red Hulk! You’re seeing a doctor.”

 

Darcy pouted sternly. “I’m fine.

 

“Doctor.”

 

“But Steve!”

 

“Either you see a doctor or you can’t complain anymore when I skip medical,” Steve bargained.

 

Darcy pouted and grumbled. “Fine, but I’m only seeing Bruce.” She looked up at Hulk. “Hey Hulkie-baby, would you mind letting Bruce come back for a while? Steve wants me to be checked over.”

 

Hulk frowned in concern. “Pretty Darcy hurt?”

 

“No,” she answered. “Pretty Darcy not hurt. I just need to be examined so that I know everything is okay and to make sure I will stay okay.”

 

Hulk nodded. “Okay.”

 

Darcy hopped off his lap and walked back over to Steve. He grabbed her hand and interlaced their fingers. Darcy smiled and inhaled in deeply, shoulders relaxing at his touch.

 

Hulk closed his eyes, and slowly, he shrunk back down into Bruce Banner. Again, the difference in Bruce’s transformation into Hulk and Ross’s into Red Hulk were apparent. The change was natural and smooth, no broken noises emitting from his body.

 

Bruce’s torso swayed when he was completely changed back and he propped himself up with his arms behind him.

 

“Hey Bruce!” Darcy greeted. “How do you feel?”

 

Bruce sighed with a relaxed smile. “Good. Really good. I forgot how easy de-hulking is with you around.” He shook his head and pushed himself to his feet, one hand holding onto his pants. “I still don’t understand how you do that,” he said with a smile.

 

“I ask nicely,” chirped Darcy.

 

Bruce rubbed the back of his neck and winced.

 

“You okay?” Steve asked.

 

Bruce nodded. “Hulk is yelling at me to hurry up and make sure Pretty Darcy not hurt.”

 

Darcy laughed and stepped forward. Steve took a step after her and placed his hand lightly on the small of her back. She placed her hands on each side of Bruce’s face and stared straight into Bruce’s eyes. “Hulk. I’m not hurt. Bruce knows how to make sure I stay not hurt, but we can go somewhere safer first. Please stop yelling at him.” Darcy blinked and her eyes refocused on Bruce’s face. “Better?”

 

“Better.” Bruce nodded.

 

“Right then,” Darcy said, smiling over her shoulder at Steve. She looked up at the sky. “Heimdall!” The familiar beam of the Bifrost came down over their heads. Five seconds passed and the beam retreated, only a circle of branded runes left behind.

 

* * *

 

Steve's Asgardian Armour

I tried to pay a little homage to Steve Rogers in his Nomad costume with the blue and gold. If you don't know what I'm talking about, look up a picture.

The symbol on the shield (which if you look closely, is also on the end of Kitty) is a Norse symbol for protection.

(I just COULD NOT get that man's face right. I tried.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A lot of you called it! Hulk come to the rescue! But I bet you didn't count on Worthy!Steve! ;)
> 
> *Acetone does dissolve cyanoacrylate, which is why nail polish remover can dissolve superglue.
> 
> *WD-40 does work against putty, which is composed of a silicone polymer. 
> 
> *In case anyone didn't understand "Your Brooklyn is showing" means that Steve's Brooklyn accent becomes prevalent when he's been scared.


	13. The Biggest Couch Potatoes in the Universe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which we see what's happening with the Avengers.
> 
> OR
> 
> Nobody panic!
> 
> A funny story is told.
> 
> Heroes question the necessity of secrecy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IMPORTANT: For anyone who's been reading the story as each chapter's posted, let me explain and apologize. I did not know how I wanted to include the information given in this chapter before, but it is important to the main story. However, when writing this chapter, it didn't feel right, so I asked an amazing reviewer, Indynerdgirl, if she would be open to reviewing it before I posted. She agreed and gave me the advice needed. Part of this means rearranging the chapters in the story to make continuity flow better. 
> 
> I do apologize for any confusion and for the long wait. It might be in your best interest to go back and maybe skim the last couple chapters so that you know where and when this chapter takes place in the story.
> 
> Again, sorry for the confusion and delay.

In a conference room in Wakanda, six superheroes remained frozen as they stared at a large screen. Their own images were on the bottom half while the top left corner displayed three women. The top right corner had turned black just a second ago after Ross threw a man at the camera, and now the words “Connection lost” flashed along the top.

 

“Jane!” Sharon ordered, voice hard and demeanor controlled and in charge. “Chronicles!” Jane pushed her chair just slightly out of view to, assumingly, face a neighboring computer. Betty leaned over her shoulder to watch her work.

 

This snapped the other heroes out of their shock.

 

“Let’s go,” Clint said, getting up and moving around the table. The others followed that short distance just so they could feel like they were doing something.

 

Wide-eyed, Wanda asked helplessly, “Where?”

 

T’Challa called to the camera crew working furiously. “Where is she?”

 

“We do not know!” one called back, still typing.

 

“Hey!” Sharon yelled to get the panicking superheroes’ attention. “Look,” she said in a lower, calm tone. “Darcy will be fine. Heimdall’s been on standby the whole time, and we have eyes on her.”

 

“What?” Clint called. “How?”

 

“Where is she?” Natasha demanded.

 

Jane made a triumphant sound. “I have her!”

 

“ _Where. Is. She?_ ” demanded Natasha again.

 

Sharon sighed as she narrowed her eyes on Jane’s out of sight computer screen. “Doesn’t matter. You can’t get to her in time anyway.”

 

Sam waved his arms. “Then where did Steve go?” he wondered. Just then, Bucky slammed back into the room, panting. Sam looked at him with a gaping mouth and repeated, “Where did Steve go?”

 

Bucky looked at them with wide eyes. “He got outside and shouted something. Next thing I know, this beam of light comes down from the sky and he’s gone!” His eyes frantically passed over each face, hands shaking in agitation.

 

Natasha turned to Sharon and spoke in a sharp tone. “What’s happening?”

 

Jane and Sharon frowned.

 

“She can’t escape to the Bifrost,” Jane muttered.

 

“HEY!” Clint shouted. “What is going on?! What are you seeing that we aren’t?!”

 

Sharon asked Jane without looking at her, “Hey, can we livestream this?”

 

Jane shrugged. “I don’t know. Never tried. It’s kind of been a secret before. Hold on, let me see if…” Jane started typing and Sharon briefly turned to the heroes.

 

“Okay, so this is kind of weird, and you guys are going to wonder how we’re seeing this, but we’ll explain later. Okay?”

 

“Nope,” answered Clint. “Not okay. Explain now. Is Darcy okay? What’s-”

 

“Hey, I got it!” Jane interrupted with a surprised smile.

 

“Oh. Great,” Sharon praised. She looked at the heroes. “Here, see for yourself.”

 

The whole screen turned black. Three dots appeared in a blinking sequence, showing that Jane was connecting another feed on the live streaming site. Then the whole screen turned on again showing Darcy running with absolute terror on her face, the giant form of Ross right behind her.

 

The heroes watched, transfixed with held breaths, as Darcy was cornered.

 

Then Steve was there taking Ross by surprise and taking Darcy away.

 

“The hell?” Scott asked.

 

T’Challa narrowed his eyes in thought. “How did he get there?”

 

“The Bifrost,” answered Natasha.

 

Sam shook his head as he watched Steve run along the metal shipping containers to the warehouse. “I’m sorry, but how are we seeing this? There can’t be any cameras there, and certainly not with this great a view.”

 

Clint narrowed his eyes. “It’s movie quality,” he said slowly. “But I agree. We’re not seeing this by way of a camera.”

 

“Magic?” Natasha offered.

 

“Wait, magic’s real?” Scott blinked at Natasha.

 

_“ROSS!”_

 

The older Avengers recognized that voice and gasped as Bruce came onto the scene. All of them leaned closer to watch what would happen. From there, the screen alternated between Darcy, Steve, and Hulk.

 

Natasha turned to T’Challa. “Can your people try tracking them by focusing on their surroundings? Surely they can narrow it down.”

 

T’Challa nodded and walked over to the man in charge of the production. They whispered together as T’Challa kept the screen in sight. He scowled as Ross tried to put civilians in danger so that Hulk would be distracted, but Darcy pulled Ross’s attention back to her.

 

“What the hell is she thinking!” exclaimed Clint.

 

Bucky was breathing rapidly. “We need to go. Now. Heimdall,” he looked at Natasha. “Would he transport us there?”

 

Natasha shook her head with a grimace. “Only the Asgardian royal family can use the Bifrost freely. Everyone else has to have express permission, either for one time use or regularly. None of us have permission.”

 

Wanda and Scott were the only ones whose eyes were glued to the screen.

 

“This is terrifying,” Scott commented, “and awesome. I can't decide which it is more.”

 

They collectively winced as Steve was backhanded into a metal container.

 

“Terrifying,” declared Wanda with her face twisted in worry.

 

Their breaths caught in their throat as Ross stomped Steve into the ground and his ribs audibly cracked. They all knew Steve to downplay his injuries and hide his pain, so to see it so openly on his face shook them, but not nearly as much as the horror in his eyes. It was clear that Steve knew he was about to be killed, and there was nothing he could do to stop it.

 

Denial of what was happening rang through each of their minds. They simply _could not_ be about to watch Steve die. Not after everything.

 

But they weren’t there. They couldn’t help him, and Darcy was watching Ross - the sick bastard - crush Steve slowly and purposefully, prolonging their pain.

 

So when Darcy threw Kitleiptstav to Steve, they didn’t think about the fact that Steve couldn’t lift Mjolnir before. They just thought, “Catch it!”

 

The surprise they felt when he actually managed it was quickly overcome by awe.

 

“That is not fair,” Clint said half-heartedly. In truth, he was too relieved to feel jealous he couldn’t lift the hammer or staff. He smiled brightly at Steve’s healed image.

 

“I think it’s more awesome now,” Scott said brightly. “Man I wish I still had some popcorn.”

 

For the rest of the fight, the heroes were too busy observing to really feel or think about what it was they were watching. They remained tense until Ross finally passed out from lack of oxygen.

 

Scott stared with a gaping mouth. “How did she do that?”

 

No one answered as Darcy just explained it to Steve. Clint coughed in disbelief as Steve voiced what he was thinking.

 

T’Challa grinned. “Darcy is quite clever.”

 

Bucky shook his head as he forced a smile to his face. He was finally able to stop his hands from shaking.

 

The others also took in relieved breaths.

 

“Is this what being an Avenger is like?” Scott asked. “Because I’m not sure I can take the rollercoaster of emotions here.” He gestured to the screen. “One second I’m afraid they’re both going to die, and the next, everything’s fine and they’re all lovey-dovey, like, _a lot_.”

 

Natasha smirked as she observed Steve and Darcy. She had to admit she felt a light, bubbly sensation when they looked at each other with such open love.

 

“He looks so happy,” Sam murmured. “In all the time I’ve known him, I don’t think I’ve ever seen him so happy and at ease.”

 

Soon enough, Hulk interrupted them and everyone was treated to a bewildering show of the dynamic between Darcy and the Hulk.

 

As Darcy, Steve, and Bruce were transported through the Bifrost, the screen turned black again before it switched back to the normal video chat feed. Darcy’s corner was gone since the connection was lost, so Jane, Sharon, and Betty took up the top of the screen.

 

“Whoa, wait! What happened?” Clint asked as he shook himself. “What’s going on with Darcy and Steve? Why can’t we see them?”

 

“I turned it off,” Jane answered.

 

“Why?” Clint whined.

 

Natasha smacked his arm. “Turned _what_ off?”

 

Sharon folded her arms and raised a demanding brow at them. “Go sit down so I can explain. You don’t have to worry about Darcy or anyone else. She’s fine. She’s on Asgard. Everyone’s fine.”

 

“But-” Wanda tried to protest.

 

“Sit!” Sharon snapped.

 

Natasha glared. “Don’t take that tone with me, 13,” she growled, but nonetheless retreated back to her seat. “Now I want answers.”

 

Sharon and Betty looked at Jane.

 

Jane heaved a sigh. “Okay, so you’re probably wondering how you saw what you saw. Well, it’s kind of a funny story. You guys remember last year when Thor went to go find answers about the ‘coincidences’,” she formed air quotes, “that were happening on Earth?”

 

Those that knew nodded.

 

“Well,” explained Jane, “Thor went to go see the Norns after a bit of fruitless searching. Steve said the Norns don’t interfere, but people can go to them for advice if they want. It’s just really rare.”

 

Natasha raised a brow. “Why?”

 

“You mean aside from the fact that Nornheim is guarded by some of the most fearsome beasts in all the realms as well enchantments that make you face your worst fears and test you to the absolute limits?” Jane remarked dryly. “There is the fact that the Norns probably won’t answer any question you ask anyway, so most don’t bother wasting the time and energy to go on what would most likely turn out to be a suicide mission.”

 

There was silence for a moment before Bucky, surprisingly, spoke up.

 

“What does that say about Thor that he went?”

 

Jane snorted. “Don’t ask me. I love the guy, but he can still be a stubborn idiot.” She shook her head. “Anyway, before Thor left, Darcy asked him a bunch of questions since she was curious about the Norns. She asked if he could ask the Norns some stuff on her behalf.” Jane smiled widely and giggled. Sharon snorted a laugh and even Betty covered her grin with her hand.

 

Clint rolled his eyes. “I’m almost afraid to ask.”

 

Jane brightly said, “She asked if the Norns sit around all day just watching people, and if they do, does that make them the biggest couch potatoes in the universe? Also, is it like reality TV on earth, and do they have a favorite person or place to watch?”

 

Sam scoffed. “ _Seriously?_ Of all the questions she could ask all-knowing beings, that’s what she chooses?”

 

Jane shrugged with a smile. Sharon answered for her in a stern tone. “There are some things we’re not supposed to know. Darcy’s type of questions would actually be the kind the Norns would answer, and guess what? They did.”

 

Jane interjected. “Thor asked his questions, which the Norns gave some vague, riddle-infused answers to, and then he told them that Darcy had some questions, but the Norns stopped him before he even spoke. Apparently, the Norns kind of _do_ watch people like reality TV...or just TV in general. Don’t worry though, they still give people privacy when it’s called for. Also, they do have favorite ‘shows’ so to speak.”

 

“Let me guess,” Natasha deadpanned. “The Norns like Darcy.”

 

“Duh,” all three women said.

 

Jane explained further, “Urd told Thor that Darcy is one of the most entertaining people in the Nine Realms. She said watching people all the time trying to analyze their moves gets tedious, so they’re kind of indebted to Darcy for livening things up. Oh, and they’re big fans of each of you. Hawkeye is actually Verdandi’s favorite Avenger.”

 

Clint gasped and sat up straight with a bright smile. “I’m a Norn’s favorite? Yes!” He fistpumped.

 

“So anyway,” Jane continued, “the Norns gave Thor this box to give to Darcy, and when she opened it, there was this magic crystal ball. That’s what it looked like anyway. There was a note with it that just said, ‘For Trust’. We still don’t understand that part though,” Jane added. “Thor explained that it’s similar to a device used on Asgard to store and share information. All Darcy had to do was put it next to one of our devices, like a tv or computer or tablet, and the orb automatically stuck to it. Then it acted like a normal external hard drive.”

 

Sam and Natasha shared a look, as did Clint and T’Challa.

 

Scott frowned in confusion. “So what was on it?”

 

Jane shrugged. “Darcy.”

 

“It’s Darcy’s life from the last five years,” Sharon sighed. “Though a bit,” she wracked her brain, “edited. I guess the Norns have a sense of humor because they took Darcy’s comparison of television to heart.”

 

“Sure did,” Betty commented with a smile as she crossed her arms. “These...recordings, I guess you could say, show what Darcy’s life has been like since Thor showed up. It,” Betty hesitated, looking uncomfortable. “Well, I haven’t seen much of it. I’ve been kind of busy, but what I have seen is...enlightening.”

 

Jane nodded. “Yeah it is. I was there for a lot of it, but even so, I had no idea just how much Darcy had done, and I’m still not caught up to the present. I’m still about ten months behind.”

 

Sharon looked at her in amazement. “I didn’t think you’d be even that far! I’ve only been able to see it for three months, but Betty’s right. It gives a whole new perspective on what’s happened in the world. Darcy,” Sharon pursed her lips in thought. “Darcy sees things that most people don’t,” she concluded.

 

They were all silent for a moment, taking in the new information.

 

Sam sighed. “Let me get this straight,” he said as he held his hands up in front of him. “There is a device,” he clarified, “that shows you Darcy’s life-”

 

“Which includes everyone around her,” Jane interjected. “So, you know, we’re all in it at some point.”

 

Sam continued as though he didn’t hear her. “As though it was some kind of show, and we are all in it because we interact with Darcy. And you see all this by way of a magic orb that an alien gave you.”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Oh. My. GOD!” Sam yelled. He stood and threw his hands in the air. “ _Freaking aliens!”_

 

Natasha rubbed her temples. “Does Darcy _know_ that you watch this footage of her?”

 

Jane, Sharon, and Betty all looked offended and started talking over each other.

 

“Of course she does!”

 

“She gave us permission.”

 

“Steve knows, too.”

 

“It would be a huge invasion of privacy,” Jane said. “Darcy and I started watching it together on Asgard when she was pregnant. Afterwards, she fell behind because she just didn’t have the time, so she gave me permission to watch everything first and then let her know what happens. Then she’ll say whether or not it’s okay for anyone else to watch. So far everything’s passed though, and Darcy said that as soon as you all knew, you can see it as well,” Jane explained. “Luckily I’ve had more time since my research has gone so smoothly the last year. Whenever I’m not binging science, I’m binging the chronicles.”

 

Natasha blinked. “You said that before,” she noted. “I heard you. You told Darcy that you were watching her on the ‘chronicles’ when she was held by Hammond Zemo, and then again just a few minutes ago.” Natasha narrowed her eyes. Though she didn’t ask, her expression clearly told them to explain.

 

Jane shrugged. “That’s what Darcy named them. The Darcyland Chronicles. She once compared herself to Alice in Wonderland, only instead, it’s _Darcyland_ , where one must embrace the insanity.” Jane smirked.

 

“Okay,” Clint said in a clipped voice. “I don’t want to be all negative here, but...this sounds kind of dangerous,” he stated. “This orb thing - if it falls into the wrong hands-”

 

“It won’t,” interrupted Jane. “This orb is highly advanced science that borders on magic. It _can’t_ be stolen. If it is, Darcy can call it back and it’ll return to her. Also, it has such heavy protection on it that the only two people who can access the information on it are Darcy and myself, and the only way to add someone else requires this metal wand on Asgard. The orb is useless otherwise.”

 

Natasha raised a skeptical brow.

 

Jane glared at her. “Hey! I am the fourth leading human expert on Asgardian technology behind Erik, Darcy, and Bruce, and even I can’t figure this thing out, so I doubt someone else will!” she defended.

 

“Relax Jane,” Natasha soothed. “I just want to be sure. Is Darcy still on Asgard?”

 

“As far as I know,” Sharon said, checking her phone. “I haven’t gotten any messages to say otherwise. Do you have questions about what happened?”

 

Scott raised his hand. “I have so many questions,” he said blankly.

 

“Do they have to be answered now?” Sharon asked.

 

Scott thought and slumped. “I guess not.”

 

Natasha sighed. “Then can we _please_ turn off this stupid chat?”

 

Sharon folded her arms. “There isn’t really a reason to keep it on anymore, so yes. Darcy and Steve will probably come here to get their kids, but I’m not sure what their plan is after that. I’m sure they’ll be in touch,” she said.

 

T’Challa folded his hands before him. “Then I wish you all well. You three are welcome in Wakanda at anytime,” he promised.

 

Jane waved her hand goodbye. “I guess we’ll see you guys later then.”

 

They all waved at each other, some murmuring goodbyes, and then each side disconnected from the chat.

 

“Well,” said Natasha. “This should be interesting.”

 

Sam looked at her in curiosity.

 

Natasha chuckled. “Do you have any idea just how many bombs Darcy dropped? The social and political response is going to be huge.”

 

They stood and unspokenly agreed to all head to their common room.

 

Scott joined in their conversation. “Makes me glad I’m hidden away for once.”

 

“Do you think there’s going to be any kind of panic?” Sam asked Natasha and the other heroes.

 

Natasha pursed her lips while Clint shrugged. “Not on a large scale,” he said with a frown. “Darcy handled it in a way that won’t result in any riots. If anything happens, it’ll be a few protests, probably against the government,” he added.

 

Natasha sighed. “As a spy, it irritates me to admit that Darcy’s actions of simply telling people the truth cleared up a lot of messes. I just hope she doesn’t go overboard. Some secrets are kept for a reason,” she said darkly.

 

T’Challa walked alongside her, but glanced at her out of the corner of his eye. “Wakanda has been kept secret practically its entire existence. I know the value of secrecy, but I think Darcy proved that there is value in transparency as well.”

 

They entered the common room and relaxed into their seats. Scott shrugged off the top of his uniform before making himself comfortable, the others following his lead. It had been a long, emotionally exhausting day, and that video chat had lasted almost three hours. The windows and glass door that lead out onto a balcony were open, the unpolluted sky bright with stars. A cool breeze soothed across their skin, and any remaining tension drained out of them.

 

Wanda chewed her lip as she studied the decorative rug in thought. Up to that point, she had been silent, but an idea had come to her. “What if that’s what the message meant?” she asked softly.

 

She felt everyone’s eyes on her.

 

Clint’s brow furrowed in confusion. “What message?”

 

Wanda took in a breath. “T’Challa said that transparency has value. Darcy basically said the same thing about explaining our actions,” she continued with wide eyes. “The message Darcy received from the Norns was ‘For Trust,’ but whose?”

 

“What are you trying to say?” Sam asked.

 

Wanda spoke slowly, the words chosen carefully, “The Darcyland Chronicles show Darcy’s life for the last five years, and Jane said we are allowed to watch. What if,” she paused and met their eyes one by one, “we are not the only ones meant to watch.”

 

“No.”

 

The answer came from Natasha and Clint. The others were silent in thought.

 

Scott sighed. “I get it,” he directed at Wanda. “I mean, look at what happened to me,” he urged everyone. “I went to jail for hacking Vistacorp and giving people back the money that had been stolen from them, but only _after_ no one did anything about it. I couldn’t prove it because I was already fired, so I didn’t have access to the coding, and no one would listen to me when I tried to tell them. Vistacorp covered it all up.” He gestured wildly with his hands as he spoke. “We don’t know what’s on these Chronicles, but if we could use it to show people the truth about who we are and what we do...maybe we should.”

 

Natasha scowled. “You heard Jane. This is a huge invasion of privacy.”

 

“Then we don’t show the private stuff,” Scott returned easily. He turned to Clint. “What has Darcy done the past few years? Is there anything you can think of that might be on there and be something people should know about, but for whatever reason don’t?”

 

Clint sighed. “Maybe. Darcy consulted with SHIELD a lot in the beginning. She worked with some good agents. I know that SHIELD’s been in the shadows trying to rebuild since the fall. Last I heard, they were trying to become a legitimate organization again. That might help,” Clint offered.

 

“What about us?” Wanda offered. “Scott is right, we do not have to show everything, but,” she turned to Natasha, “you taught me that in order to get what you want, sometimes you have to give a little first.”

 

“People are afraid,” Sam muttered to himself. He looked up. “That’s what Ross said.” He blinked and looked down in thought. “Darcy just helped us out a lot, but it won’t mend the gap completely, and it’ll be broken easily unless we do something different this time around. People don’t trust us because they don’t know us. We hide what we do, and yes,” he said quickly, “sometimes it’s for a good reason.” He paused and gazed at Natasha. “But there are some things that don’t have to be kept secret, Natasha. I’ll tell you all this: I know what it’s like being a civilian not having a clue what’s going on. For two years after the Battle of New York, I would sit and wonder what the most powerful people in the world were doing at that moment. Who are they? Are they good people? How do I know they won’t use their powers to hurt someone who didn’t deserve it?” Sam questioned.

 

“All I had was the reassurances SHIELD gave the public and the inherent trust of Captain America and Iron Man. It’s easy for me to say that you won’t misuse your powers now because I _know_ you,” he insisted. “But most people don’t. There’s a disconnect between us and everyone around us. I think,” he proposed, “that if we decide to use Darcy’s Chronicles, it won’t be the top secret stuff that we would need to show anyway,” he told them, especially Natasha. “The people who don’t trust us, they only see our powers, not _us_. It’s the little, day-to-day things that would show everyone that we’re still _people_...and we’re not so bad.”

 

Natasha glared at him. “I will _not_ air my private affairs to the world.”

 

Sam sighed and took her hand in his. “Look, we don’t have to decide anything now. For all we know, this conversation could be moot anyway. Let’s just relax and wait for Steve and Darcy to contact us.”


	14. Reincarnated Bunnies can Fornicate Later

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Darcy sees a doctor.
> 
> OR
> 
> Bruce is a cockblocker.
> 
> Appearances are deceiving.
> 
> A doctor, a villain, a hero, and a princess walk into an examination room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry again for the long wait. Good news: I got a new job! Bad news: When I start, updates will probably be even further apart because I have to go through a month of intense training. Good news: I don't start until July at the earliest. I will let everyone know as soon as I do, so that you guys know that I WILL NOT be abandoning this fic, I'll just be very busy for a while.
> 
> Also, I don't want to be one of those writers that ask for reviews, but I do like to know what works and what doesn't so I can become a better writer. So if there is something that you feel positively or negatively about in the story, let me know. 
> 
> All characters belong to Marvel.

It was less than a minute’s journey traveling through the Bifrost. Color rose and fell in equal measure all around the trio until the swooping sensation in their stomachs came to an abrupt halt and they were deposited out of the portal and onto the golden floor of the golden, domed building. Bruce stumbled before righting himself, but Steve and Darcy gracefully managed the transition and walked over to the center dais where Heimdall stood.

 

The golden-eyed warrior smiled softly to Darcy and bowed deeply. “My Princess,” he greeted in his slow, warm voice.

 

Darcy smiled in return and walked over to give Heimdall a hug. Steve walked with her, still pressing his hand gently on her lower back. “Heimdall,” Darcy said as she released him. “How many times do I have to tell you to just call me Darcy?”

 

“I do call you Darcy,” he argued, “when I am off duty.”

 

Darcy raised a brow. “You’re never off duty.”

 

Heimdall smirked. “Then I shall always call you My Princess,” he said as he gave a small bow with his head, eyes never leaving Darcy. It was a bit unnerving how little Heimdall needed to blink. He turned his attention to Steve and Bruce. “Welcome back, my friends. I hope all is well on Midgard now that those who have attempted to blacken your names and keep you from your loved ones have been removed?”

 

“Yes,” Steve answered. “Everyone’s alright for the time being, but we should probably let them know we’re both safe.”

 

“They are already aware,” Heimdall informed them with a smile. He gestured to the opening leading to the Rainbow Bridge. “I have ordered transport to the palace and the Halls of Healing,” he spoke. “I am guessing your visit will be a short one?” he asked with a blank face.

 

Darcy nodded. “We need to get back to our kids.”

 

Steve came up beside her and caught her hand in his. Heimdall smiled softly. “Then I shall see you again shortly.” With another bow, he stood aside as Darcy and Steve strode out of the Bifrost with Bruce trailing behind as he held up his pants.

 

Waiting outside was a skiff-like metal boat with layered wings on each side. One guard was standing in the back near the steering shaft and another was standing beside it, waiting to help them on board. The most remarkable thing about the boat was that it was hovering over nothing close to the edge of the bridge, a slight hum coming from the rear of the boat where the technology that allowed the boat to fly was concealed.

 

Steve held Darcy’s right hand and the guard her left as she stepped over the short distance from the bridge onto the boat’s ledge before she hopped down into the hull. The others followed and sat before the guard raised the steering shaft. Gaining altitude, they sped over the churning water towards the golden pyramid-like palace that rose above all the other buildings in the city.

 

“Can you drop me off so I can get some clothes first?” Bruce asked. The guard at the helm nodded. “Great, for timing’s sake, can you just pull up next to that balcony there.” He pointed to a balcony about halfway up on the right side of the palace. The guard did just that and Bruce jumped out.

 

“You two go to the healing rooms,” Bruce told Darcy and Steve. “I’ll be there soon.”

 

It was only a minute later that the ship descended and came to a rest next to several golden steps that led from a courtyard to the Healing Halls.

 

Steve jumped out and lifted Darcy by the waist to set her on the ground. Darcy smiled as she looked at him and they turned to walk up the steps at a leisurely pace.

 

Inside, there were two guards stationed at the end of each hall, and sconces lit the corridor every few feet. Several of the doors they passed were open, the large windows letting sunlight into the hall, but many of the doors were closed.

 

Darcy called out to a passing woman wearing a light blue gown that Darcy knew marked her as a servant for the Healing Halls. “Excuse me. Your name is Dagney, isn’t it?”

 

The young woman, still a girl really, looked up and her eyes went wide in excitement. “Princess Darcy!” she exclaimed with a smile. “You’ve returned! Yes, my name is Dagney.”

 

Darcy smiled gently. “I’m only here to be looked at by Dr. Banner. There was an...altercation on Midgard and I have to leave again,” she said hesitantly before she continued in a more confident tone. “Dagney, could you please go to my rooms and retrieve a gown for me? Ask for Alva, she’ll know. Also, please stop by the kitchens and have them prepare some food for myself and Dr. Banner.”

 

Dagney nodded eagerly. “Yes. Of course. Is there anything I should get specifically?”

 

Darcy hmmed. “Alva will get me clothes. As for food, just anything that’s really filling.”

 

Dagney smiled brightly. “Yes princess. I shall return as soon as I can.” She bowed and then was off down the corridor before disappearing from sight.

 

Steve shook his head and looked at Darcy with a raised brow. “I have perfect memory, and even I have trouble remembering all of their names,” he said with a bemused smile.

 

Darcy took his hand and led him down a corridor that led deeper into the Healing Halls and away from the sunlight. “I make it a point to try to know the names of everyone I interact with.”

 

“I know. I love that about you.”

 

Darcy stopped walking and turned to him. She tilted her head up to look him in the eye and suddenly, the happy facade she had worn the whole time disappeared. Her face softened and her eyes shone with emotion. Yet, while there was obvious love and happiness, there was also some grief as well that spoke of how much Darcy had missed him.

 

Her hands came up, a palm pressed to each side of Steve’s face as he wrapped his arms loosely around her waist. For a moment, she just looked at him, studying his face.

 

The silence dragged on, neither of them speaking out loud, and yet, minute facial twitches made it seem like they were having a complete conversation. The air became heavy with the mounting tension, ready to snap as their bodies each stiffened and they held their breaths, daring the other to move first.

 

Suddenly, Darcy leaned up at the same time she pulled Steve’s face down to meet hers. This kiss was not slow. It was urgent, a bit sloppy, and full of need. The smack of their lips echoed in the hall and Steve’s hands moved from her waist down to grip her thighs and pull her up so her legs wrapped around his hips.

 

The two guards at each end made eye contact and smirked before stepping away from the walls to block the entrance of the hall with their backs to the couple.

 

Steve let out a groan and placed one hand on the small of her back to pull her closer. The other hand tangled in Darcy’s hair. From her new position, her head was higher than Steve’s. Her right hand slid to the back of his head and her nails scritched through his short hair, causing him to groan again and walk until Darcy’s back was pressed against the wall.

 

Darcy broke the kiss and gasped, throwing her head back, eyes closed, exposing her neck to Steve’s lips. He smiled as he peppered kisses along her skin, sucking certain areas lightly.

 

They were so involved that they didn’t notice Bruce arrive at the end of the corridor, nor did they really hear what was said between him and the guard that had barred Bruce’s way.

 

“What do you mean this corridor’s off limits?” Bruce asked in frustration as he looked passed the warrior. “Oh, you have got to be kidding me,” he said with an eyeroll. “Guys, come on! You’re the ones who wanted me to check up on Darcy!”

 

Steve hummed while Darcy smiled with her eyes closed. “Just a minute!” Steve called back.

 

Bruce raised his brows. “Only a minute? Wow, and here I was thinking the serum gave you stamina,” he taunted.

 

Darcy snorted and Steve broke away from her skin to glare over his shoulder at Bruce. Darcy kissed his forehead soothingly.

 

Bruce sidestepped the guard and ignored the pointed glare while he strode toward them. “Steve, don’t you want to make sure Darcy and the babies are okay first?”

 

Steve sighed and looked up at Darcy. “He’s right, doll. Doctor visit first.”

 

Darcy groaned as Bruce walked passed them to a set of doors a little further along the hall and opened it. “Come on you two reincarnated bunnies. You can fornicate later.”

 

Darcy grabbed Steve’s face in both hands. “No,” she moaned. “Go back to the kissing. I like the kissing.” She pressed her lips against Steve’s again before he pulled back with a groan and bowed his head in the crook of her neck.

 

“Nice try,” he said. “Doctor first.”

 

Darcy groaned in frustration and tilted her head back with a pout. “But Steve!”

 

Steve’s eyes slid to Darcy’s cleavage exposed by her leather tunic and smirked before he ran his tongue once over the top curve of her breast.

 

“Steve!” Darcy yelped in shock as a delighted smile crossed her face.

 

Steve chuckled deeply in throat as he walked towards the door Bruce had disappeared through, his arms holding Darcy up.

 

Bruce sighed in resignation as they came in and Steve sat Darcy on the examination table on one side of the rectangular room. “Seriously?” he asked. “You know, if you’re going to make me your doctor, the least you could do is be a good patient. Even though,” Bruce said with a pinched scowl, “I have told you multiple times that I AM NOT THAT KIND OF DOCTOR!” he yelled. “I am a physicist,” he said, the side of one hand hitting the palm of the other. “I am not a people doctor.”

 

“I thought you got your MD,” Darcy queried.

 

Bruce stumbled. “Well, yes, but that doesn’t count. I’m trained to treat basic injuries and illnesses. This,” he said gesturing to her stomach. “This is pregnancy, and babies, and stuff that I am not qualified to handle. I’m not a gynecologist. I’m not an obstetrician. This isn’t my area of expertise. I told you the first time! I shouldn’t be your doctor,” Bruce ranted as he became increasingly more panicked. “I helped before because I’ve studied the super soldier serum and I could try to anticipate some of the effects it would have on you. But that’s as far as I’m useful.”

 

“That is not true!” Darcy declared. “You helped me when I was in labor.”

 

Bruce stared at her with an open mouth and then stated in a deadpan voice, “You cussed me out so bad that I ended up Hulking out...And then you cussed out the Hulk so bad he curled up in a corner and cried until he was able to shift back into me and then I passed out and stayed that way until the birth was over.”

 

Steve looked down trying to conceal his slight grin while Darcy just stared blankly back at Bruce. “Exactly, you were very helpful. I was so focused on you that I didn’t cuss out Steve, and since he’s the dad, I couldn’t very well make him pass out.”

 

Bruce just stared at her until he closed his eyes and heaved a sigh. He shook his head and took a step back, deciding it wasn’t worth arguing. Instead, he waved a hand at her Asgardian armour. “Mind taking this off so I can do my job that I am in no way qualified for?”

 

“No problem!” Darcy agreed as she picked up Kitty and closed her eyes. She was encased in lightning for a second before she was dressed again in her jeans, t-shirt, and cardigan. “Here Steve,” she called as she tossed the shortened staff to Steve. He repeated the process and appeared again in his black tac suit. He sat Kitty on a nearby table.

 

Bruce went to the wall and tugged on the curtain hanging there, pulling it out so that it divided the room in half with Steve on one side and Bruce and Darcy on the other.

 

The double doors on Steve’s side banged open a moment later by an old man in golden robes with an eyepatch holding a long spear in hand.

 

“Where is she?” he demanded in his gravelly voice. “Where is the princess?”

 

“Over here!” came Darcy’s voice behind the curtain. “Hey, Papa Odey! What’s up?”

 

King Odin closed his one eye and breathed in deeply for patience at Darcy’s nonchalant response, and Steve leaned against the stone wall with his arms crossed, just observing.

 

A timid voice from the doorway interrupted them.

 

“Excuse me, my King,” Dagney had returned carrying a tray of breads and fruit with a couple of jugs. A woman stood behind her carrying a folded bundle of cloth in her arms.

 

“It’s okay everyone,” Darcy called out. Bruce pulled back the curtain a bit and Dagney slowly crept into the room to hand him the tray and pass the dress over. Bruce gave her a smile before he closed the curtain again. “Thanks Dagney!” Darcy said a moment later.

 

Dagney smiled slightly. “You are welcome, Princess.”

 

Odin tapped his spear on the ground impatiently. “Leave us!” he ordered the two women.

 

They hurried out of the room, heads down, before Odin waved his arm at the doors and they slammed shut. Before the echo of the bang died off, Odin had turned around and his form melted away into that of Loki.

 

“Darcy,” his smooth tones rang with concern as he approached the curtain. “Are you injured? Heimdall assured me you had the situation well in hand, but-”

 

“I’m fine!” Darcy asserted, though the sound was slightly muffled, probably because she was eating. “Steve’s just being a worrywart like usual. You remember how he was before. Steve,” Darcy called. “I stand by what I said last time. You are not allowed to lock me in an ivory tower just because I’m pregnant.”

 

Steve snorted and Bruce admonished her and told her to lay back.

 

Loki stepped away from the curtain as Bruce started talking in a low voice that wouldn’t carry.

 

Steve examined the dark-haired ruler as he stood next to him. “Loki,” Steve greeted.

 

“Brother,” Loki returned.

 

Steve shifted his shoulders uncomfortably. “You’re looking better,” he commented.

 

“Yes,” Loki stated quickly without looking at him. “I am no longer battling insanity or self-hatred, thank you.”

 

Steve rolled eyes a bit at that. “I just meant that you seem to have come to terms with everything.”

 

Loki stayed silent as he mulled this over. In a low tone, he said, “Darcy is very wise for one so young. She was correct when she told me Dr. Banner would be a good friend for me. It is one thing to be told by someone as good as she that you are not evil, but to be told by someone who also believes themselves to be a monster, that you are _not_...” Loki paused. “I actually start to believe it,” he finished softly.

 

Steve tilted his head. “You’re not a monster. I know I didn’t help that when I found out you were alive, but after you and Darcy explained,” Steve searched for the words. “You couldn’t let us know you were helping us. You did what you could. If it wasn’t for you, we might have lost to the Chitauri.”

 

Loki smiled grimly. “It is odd how our fates play out. Growing up, I wanted so badly to be the hero. To have some recognition. To be the one admired and praised.” Loki looked down. “But because of who and what I am, that was never going to happen. Finally I understand that the role in which I can do the most good is not as the hero, but the villain.”

 

A moment passed before Steve said quietly, “No one else could have pulled off what you did. I know a lot of people hate you right now, but that’ll change once they know the truth.” Steve looked at Loki full on until Loki met his gaze. “And they have to know the truth.”

 

Loki opened his mouth to argue but Steve shook his head. “I can’t keep lying to them, Loki. They think you’re dead. Thor hates lying, too, but he’s been away so much that he doesn’t have to do it that often. I know Darcy hates it.” Steve gestured to the curtain. “The Avengers have to know, not just that you’re alive, but about everything: what set in motion the events in New Mexico, the year before the invasion, how you manipulated everyone so we would defeat you and the Chitauri, and _why_ you needed to fake your death.”

 

Steve gave him a look with both brows raised. Loki looked down.

 

“Have you found out anything?” Steve asked quietly.

 

Loki shook his head in the negative. “There are few willing to go against the Mad Titan. I have tried to keep up with his movements, but it is difficult with everything happening in the universe right now. My duties do not allow for much free time,” he whispered.

 

Steve nodded. “I understand, but I’m firm with this Loki. The Avengers have to know.”

 

Loki sighed and slumped. “They will not forgive me. They will most likely kill me at first sight.”

 

“No, they won’t,” Steve declared. “We’ll make sure they at least listen to your side. Besides, if it comes to it, you could always use Frigga,” he said brightly. “She’ll keep you safe. The others wouldn’t dare try to hurt you while she’s in your arms.”

 

Loki shared a smirk with Steve. “So this is what I have been reduced to?” he mocked himself. “Cowering behind a woman’s skirts? And not even a full-grown woman, but my two-year-old niece?”

 

Steve chuckled and a genuine smile spread across Loki’s face for a moment before it drooped. “Very well,” he agreed in a murmur. “You are correct. They need to be aware of the larger threat looming on the horizon.” Loki considered Steve. “I am glad you are here though. There is a matter that I have long wished to speak of with you. It concerns Darcy,” Loki whispered.

 

Steve frowned and stepped in closer.

 

“When Thor came to me and told me that you two were to be married, he requested I bond the two of you in the ancient Asgardian way,” Loki began. “I did not agree, not at first. You see, this bond is very complicated. It irrevocably connects two people for all eternity, and can have...side effects.”

 

Steve stiffened. “What?” he whispered harshly as he narrowed his eyes.

 

Loki held up a hand in peace. “That was not my main concern. My initial rejection was because you were both mortal. Humans do not have the physical capabilities of the beings of other worlds. Your lifespans are so short and your bodies so fragile. You have a long way yet to evolve. However, you had shown a great deal of strength in the time I watched you. I thought, with your enhancements, you could handle the strain a bond would put on you. That just left Darcy. As you know, Lady Jane was granted an apple by Idunn, and she allowed Darcy a small bite. It was enough that you two would age at the same rate and granted her a small bit of strength. Knowing her, I believed she would hold up under the bond, and so I finally agreed.”

 

“But now you have doubts,” Steve assumed.

 

Loki thoughtfully said, “Not doubts. Concerns. Your bond...it is one of the strongest ever seen. Stronger even than Frigga’s and Odin’s. There are stories about such bonds,” Loki explained. “After watching Darcy the last three months, I am inclined to believe them. You see, the story is that if the bondmates remain apart for a prolong period of time, the couple may experience a decrease in their health, perhaps even pain. In addition, once they are reunited, they will be...much more tactile than normal,” Loki said diplomatically. “The point is that Darcy has become increasingly more agitated, and I have watched her work herself into the ground the last few months trying to make it so that you could return to her.” Loki scowled and hissed, “She could very well have miscarried under the strain she was putting on herself.”

 

Steve startled at that, but contained his fear reasonably well. “She could have-” Steve cut himself off. “But what if something happens to me? What if...what if I’m killed? What would happen to her?” he asked in worry.

 

Loki looked off to the side. “Some stories say that the bondmate could not bear to live without their other half and would quickly follow the other into death. I do not think this will happen,” Loki quickly spoke over the wounded noise Steve made. “Darcy is stronger than that. She has many reasons to live on in your children and your family on Midgard. The same, I think, can be said for you. Should the worst happen, it will be painful, but neither you nor she are the type to just give up. Truly, I think the only scenario of either of you following the other into death is if your time came after a long life together.”

 

Steve blinked rapidly and looked down in thought. Loki rested a hand on Steve’s shoulder. “Peace, brother. Do not let the _possibility_ of a future trouble you when it may never come to pass. Do not let it mar the time you have with her now,” Loki gently murmured as he squeezed Steve’s shoulder.

 

Steve looked up at him and gave a quick nod.

 

“That being said,” Loki continued, “I think it would be best that, for the rest of Darcy’s pregnancy, you _stay_. _Close_. And if you must leave, you should return to her side in good time.” He gave Steve a pointed look.

 

“Don’t worry. I wasn’t planning on leaving anytime soon.”

 

Loki studied him. “You truly love her,” he stated with a slight head shake. “I don’t know why I am still surprised by it, but the look in your eyes when you think of her never fails to make me wonder if I shall _ever_ feel so much for one person.” He smiled. “It gives me hope.” Then he snorted in amusement. “Tis quite different from my previous thoughts about your kind. You know, throughout the Nine Realms and beyond, there is a common belief about humans.”

 

Steve raised a brow. “Oh?”

 

“Indeed.” Loki smirked. “Humans are strange creatures, and among many of the races, they are thought to be primitive, simple, savage...and you must admit that in some ways you are,” Loki stated simply, though not meanly. “Humans are a young species. You have much to learn, _but_ ,” Loki pondered slowly, “for all the destruction that you are capable of, I have also seen a greater capacity for open-minded acceptance, love, and compassion than most of the so-called ‘higher beings’ will ever know.” Loki turned to Steve. “Humans are strange creatures,” he stated again, “but they can be wonderful, too.”

 

Steve smiled back at him and nodded in camaraderie as the indistinguishable voices of Bruce and Darcy came from behind the curtain. A couple minutes later, Bruce stepped out carrying an old-fashioned clipboard and let the curtain fall back.

 

“She’s getting dressed,” he informed.

 

“And?” Steve asked immediately.

 

“She and the babies are both well, but there are a few things I want to go over with you,” Bruce answered.

 

“What he means is that he wants to go over everything I _can’t do_ while pregnant,” Darcy said as she pulled back the curtain with one hand while the other held a simple, but elegant bronze circlet. She turned it around and slid it over her forehead into place before looking up and blinking at the others. “What?” she asked.

 

Loki and Bruce had glanced at Darcy when she first spoke, but turned to watch Steve’s reaction. He immediately perked up, eyes brighter and a crooked smile slowly growing on his face. Bruce and Loki shared a smirk.

 

Steve walked forward and he and Darcy smiled at each other. When he reached her, instead of kissing her, he reached up to brush the backs of his fingers lightly over her cheeks. His fingers trailed down over the skin of her neck, her collarbones, and then continued over the shoulders of the dress and slowly down her arms.

 

Darcy closed her eyes and shivered slightly, drawing in an unsteady breath. The glow from earlier returned to her skin.

 

Steve came to her wrists and then lightly clasped her petite hands in his own, nearly covering them entirely. Darcy’s eyes opened and she gazed at Steve with joy as a relaxed smile grew on her face.

 

The picture the two made was stunning in their contrast. Steve in his tight, black tactical gear, all rigid lines, radiating authority and restrained power while Darcy stood in a flowing v-neck gown that was almost white**. It had multiple layers of chiffon, and thick ribbons crisscrossed under her bust, crossed her back and then tied again around her hips, making her small baby bump seem larger. The slight lavender color offset her skin and made the internal glow more obvious, her smooth curls even darker against her skin and the top of the dress as they flowed down her back. Her natural red lips and ocean eyes stood out brightly on her face. Like Steve, she too radiated authority, but it was softer, warm and welcoming, like a defensive wall to shelter behind. Steve’s darker aura mixed with her lighter one and blended in perfect harmony.

 

They turned in sync to face Loki and Bruce, shoulders brushing, hands still clasped.

 

Loki sighed. “My dear sister,” his soft voice sang with adoration, “no one who saw you now would _ever_ deny that you are a princess.”

 

Darcy blushed and tried to stamp down her smile. Steve just leaned over and softly kissed the top of her head.

 

Darcy shook herself and then fixed her eyes on Loki. “Thanks, but I have a bone to pick with you.”

 

“Oh?” he inquired.

 

“Yes, I do,” Darcy said as she broke away from Steve to walk over to Loki. She slapped his chest and then continued to do so as he held his arms up in defense. “You lying jerkface! Don’t worry Darcy! All will be well Darcy!” she mocked. “You ass! You got me pregnant!”

 

Loki pointed at Steve, “Technically, he’s the one that got you pregnant!”

 

Darcy wasn’t deterred. “You tricked me! You tricked me into getting pregnant with Steve! Why?” she demanded.

 

“Because,” he said honestly. “I adore my niece and nephew. And I decided I wanted more. Goodness knows Jane won’t allow Thor to impregnate her before she’s finished with her latest project, so you were my only option. And I have to admit, you two make _adorable_ babies.”

 

Darcy let out a frustrated growl. “You’re as bad as Nat-Nat!”

 

Loki smirked. “The infamous Black Widow? Well then, I shall take that as a compliment.”

 

Darcy smacked his chest again and Steve pulled her away from Loki over to Bruce. She huffed but turned her attention to the good doctor. “What’s the verdict?” she asked, her voice turning to a more business-like tone.

 

Bruce consulted his clipboard. “Right. Well, everything is progressing on schedule. You’re thirteen weeks along, so I put your due date at February 10th, but twins do have a tendency to come early,” Bruce added. “You’re slightly underweight for what I want you at, probably due to stress and spending the last two days held by Zemo. Remember last time I had you eating nearly five thousand calories a day during your second trimester?”

 

“Yep.”

 

“Well, right now I want to up you to six and half thousand a day.”

 

Darcy’s eyes widened in shock.

 

“You’re carrying twins who may or may not have the super soldier serum,” Bruce told her. “Right now, judging by how much you deteriorated in two days, I’m inclined to believe at least one of them carries the serum. It’s too early to test, but both of them might share some of the effects. You yourself need about three thousand calories a day with the upgrades Idunn’s apple gave you. I want you on a diet that consists of whole grains, lots of fruits and vegetables, and poultry. No processed meat. In fact, no processed anything. No seafood. Very little red meat and it must be cooked through. Limited salty food. Limited caffeine. Limited dairy, and limited sugar,” Bruce listed. “The best thing to do is to not buy anything premade.”

 

Darcy pouted. “So in other words, it won’t be the fun kind of eating.”

 

“Thank you, Bruce,” Steve interjected, pulling Darcy closer and running his hand up and down her back.

 

“There’s also the matter with your bond,” Bruce started with an uncomfortable look, not meeting their eyes. “Loki told me some of the side effects. Darcy, you can’t be feeling stressed right now. Loki told me how you feel...um, how do I say this…” Bruce trailed off.

 

“Horny?” Darcy supplied. “Because, yes. I feel very horny. _All the time,”_ she said with wide eyes. “But it’s no problem right? I mean, it wasn’t a problem last time.”

 

“No,” Bruce quickly assured. “No problem. In fact, I think it might...help.” He rambled, “The are a lot of studies, about it relieving stress, pain, improved immunity, lowering blood pressure, better sleep, bladder control, increased endorphins and dopamine. I understand that you might crave it more, and you should,” Bruce waved his hand and looked away awkwardly, “uh, do that,” he finished lamely.

 

Darcy smirked. “Bruce, are you,” she teased, “prescribing sexual healing?”

 

Loki snorted and then covered his mouth, looking down.

 

Bruce looked heavenward and sighed. “Yes,” he drawled.

 

Darcy laughed. “God, I wish I had my ipod so I could blast ‘Sexual Healing’ by Marvin Gaye.”

 

Steve shook his head in amusement.

 

Darcy leaned forward, wicked curiosity lighting her eyes.

 

“Now Bruce, I need specifics here. I wouldn’t want to accidently hurt myself or the munchkins. Is missionary style okay? What about other positions? Is there any position that we shouldn’t do? Should we worry about intensity? Steve’s got some powerful thighs. Does the size of his penis matter? I can give you the measurements-”

 

“I am not talking about Steve’s penis!” Bruce shouted flailing his arms. Loki choked on his laughter, and covered his mouth with both hands, trying to smother his giggles. His eyes were shut tight and crinkled with mirth.

 

“Now Bruce,” Darcy said patronizingly. “There is no need to be uncomfortable. You are a man and a doctor after all. You yourself have a penis.” She innocently raised her hands while Steve grimaced and covered his eyes with his palm. “And I’ve seen you naked before, so trust me when I say that you have nothing to be ashamed of. I mean, talk about a green python. I gotta ask, did all those years of celibacy actually make your penis bigger? Like, you didn’t use it, so it just kept building and-”

 

“OH MY GOD PLEASE STOP TALKING!” Bruce shouted, covering his ears with a painful look on his face. Steve was looking at Darcy with an expression on his face that clearly asked, _Why?_

 

Loki however, had burst out laughing. “Darcy, you’re so inappropriate I love it!”

 

Darcy directed an innocent, close-mouthed smile at them. She shrugged. “I’m just asking for scientific purposes.”

 

Bruce rubbed a hand over his face. He pulled a pen from his pocket and started writing on the clipboard. “Here,” he snapped. “You want an official doctor’s note? Fine. Have sex! Have all the sex you want! Just make sure it’s on a stable surface, and remember that neither of you are acrobats. If you’re comfortable in the position, you’re fine. Play ‘Hide the Star-Spangled Salami’ any way you want, but stay away from head-banging, All-American Rock’n’Roll, if you know what I mean.” Bruce glared at Darcy. “Are. You. Happy. _Now?_ ”

 

Darcy ignored Loki doubled over in laughter and widened her smile to show her teeth. “Yes. Yes I am.”

 

Bruce continued to glare. “Good. Now take your prescription,” he ripped off the sheet of paper, “and your _medicine_ ,” he waved at Steve who was blushing madly, “and get the fuck out!” Bruce raised his hand and pointed at the door.

 

Darcy took the paper and walked with her head held high over to the door. As she passed Loki, he raised his hand and she didn’t break her stride as she met his high five in a satisfying smack.

 

Steve cleared his throat. “Uh, thanks for doing this,” he said to Bruce.

 

Bruce glanced at Steve before turning away. “Please just go. I can’t even fucking look at you.”

 

Steve hurried away after Darcy and Loki threw up the illusion of Odin’s appearance before leaving with them.

 

“When do you think it best that I reveal myself?” Loki questioned in Odin’s voice.

 

Darcy looked at Steve in question. He met her eye before answering. “We should probably wait until the Avengers are all back at the compound. That way we can let everyone know at once.”

 

Odin-Loki nodded his head once.

 

They continued walking in silence until they exited the palace. The boat that carried them was still there waiting to return them to the Bifrost.

 

Steve helped Darcy aboard first and them climbed in. “We’ll see you soon,” he said to Odin-Loki. “Just send word about when you’ll be coming.”

 

Odin-Loki nodded to him and turned to Darcy, his face softening into a smile. “Take care, my dear princess.”

 

Darcy blew him a kiss and waved. With that, they were off and once more flying the short distance from the palace to the spherical building at the edge of Asgard.

 

They disembarked and the two guards flew off while Steve and Darcy entered the building to see Heimdall standing on the dais, ready to activate the Bifrost.

 

“I’ll send you some Midgardian treats in a day or two,” Darcy told him as the bridge powered up.

 

Heimdall smiled. “I have become partial to Nerds,” he replied.

 

Darcy smiled and waved, as did Steve who also gave a small bow. Clasping hands, they walked into the portal and were sped down through space, the earth coming into focus ahead of them for just a second before they were landing on the edge of a forest. The beam retracted and Steve could see a network of buildings ahead of them.

 

“So, this is where you set up?” he commented.

 

“Yep!” Darcy tugged on his hand. “Welcome home.”

 

“Wait,” Steve said as he pulled Darcy back to him. “Darcy, I’ve been doing some thinking.”

 

“Uh oh,” she joked.

 

“No, no. It’s not bad. At least, I hope it’s not,” Steve said as he gazed at Darcy nervously.

 

* * *

 

 

Darcy's dress and bronze circlet


	15. You Deserve to be Happy, Too

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which a family reunites.
> 
> OR
> 
> Steve isn't leaving.
> 
> Frigga is a Daddy's Girl.
> 
> Much feels are had by all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IMPORTANT: I added a chapter after chapter 12, so please go and read the new chapter 13 to be fully updated. I give a full explanation at the beginning of that chapter.
> 
>  
> 
> Hey everyone! So I have several pictures for this chapter, and I feel I should ask for future chapters: Would you like the pictures at the beginning, end, or spread throughout the chapter when they appear in the story? Because I'm not sure putting them at the end is the best. 
> 
> Anyway, I hope you like this chapter. An easter egg I planted in an earlier chapter is touched upon here, but it won't be explained until the next chapter.
> 
> Finally, it is important to note that somewhere in the chapter, you're probably going to think I made a spelling error. I DIDN'T! All those "misspelled" words are like that on purpose for pronunciation.
> 
> Anyway, Marvel owns their characters, and I don't... :'(

_“It’s not bad. At least, I hope it’s not,” Steve said as he gazed at Darcy nervously._

 

“I think,” he said slowly, “I’m done.”

 

Darcy’s brow wrinkled in confusion.

 

“Being Captain America,” Steve clarified. “For a while anyway.”

 

Darcy stood in front of him, arms hanging by her sides, staring at him blankly with wide eyes.

 

Steve hurried on to explain. “I’ve been thinking about it a lot actually. I…” He looked away for a moment, searching for the words before turning back to Darcy. “When I became Captain America, when I got the serum, it was for the war. I knew what the consequences would be when I agreed to be their soldier. It was hard, but everything I did, it was with the understanding that - when the war was over,” Steve gazed at Darcy with sadness and finished softly, “I would go home.” He shrugged slightly. “I just never got the chance. Then I met you, and now we have kids-”

 

“You don’t have to,” Darcy interrupted frantically, and, just as before in the Healing Hall, the mask Darcy had put on for the cameras cracked, the worry, fear, and anxiety she had felt for who knew how long showing through. “I would never ask you to stop. You don’t have to do this for me.”

 

“I’m not,” Steve said slowly, “doing it for you. Does that,” he huffed with slight smile, “sound completely horrible?”

 

Darcy blinked away her suddenly wet eyes and shook her head quickly. “No! No,” she assured breathlessly.

 

Steve gazed at her with slightly upturned lips. When he spoke, it was barely more than a whisper. “My whole life I’ve been fighting Darcy. I was so sick as a kid, I had to fight just to make it to the next day. Then there were playground fights and back alley fights and fighting to make ends meet. Fighting, in the war and then here in the future against aliens and robots and monsters and fighting, fighting, fighting, and I. Am. _Tired_.” Steve slumped. “For once, I don’t want to have a plan. I don’t want to think of everyone else. I just want to be selfish,” he said fervently. “I just want to be with you. You and our kids. That’s what I want. What I need. I...I’ve missed so much,” he said with a wavering voice. His eyes crinkled in sorrow. “My dad died overseas, in a war before I was even born, and knowing that he died for his country,” Steve blinked, “was a _small comfort_ growing up. I wish I had gotten a chance to know him.” He stood up straighter. “I want my kids to know me, and I want to know them.”

 

Steve reached out and brushed a curl from Darcy’s forehead behind her ear. “I’m not quitting. We’d both go crazy if we tried to live normal lives,” Steve laughed and Darcy smiled with him. “When the world is in danger, and it’s all hands on deck, I’ll be out there. Something tells me after the kids are born, you’ll be right there beside me.” Darcy nodded her head. “But I’m cutting back. They just don’t need me anymore. I carried on being Captain America for so long because someone had to do it and there was no one else for the job, but...that’s not true anymore.” Steve caressed Darcy’s cheek. “So, for now...I’m done,” he finished softly. “I’m yours. You have me.”

 

Darcy’s lips quivered as she breathed through her nose, her eyes watering. Steve watched her, never looking away from her gaze. Her chest jerked with a muffled sob and she closed her eyes. And then the dam broke and she couldn’t contain her sobs. Though she was crying, her mouth was turned up in a smile that she tried to hide behind a hand.

 

Steve placed a hand under her chin so that she couldn’t hide from him and she smiled up at him, tears leaking from her eyes as her body shook with what were clearly relieved sobs. Darcy stepped forward and wrapped her arms around his waist, hands digging into his back muscles to press as tightly to him as possible. Steve laid his arms around her shoulders and rested his chin on her head.

 

“I am so sorry,” he murmured softly, “for everything I put you through.”

 

Darcy laughed through her sobs and pulled back slightly to look up at him, one hand coming up to wipe at her face. “Worth it,” she stated. “Everything was worth this. Besides, it’s not like I haven’t put you through some tough shit.” Darcy sniffed and smiled. “I think we’re even.”

 

Steve smiled at her brightly, and Darcy ducked her head, wiping furiously at her cheeks. “Goddamn pregnancy hormones. Those are totally a real thing!” she declared loudly while pointing at Steve. “You can’t judge me for getting weepy!”

 

Steve chuckled. “Never,” he whispered as he brushed away the tears on Darcy’s cheeks with his thumbs. He leaned down and lightly kissed her lips. She kissed him back happily and then grabbed both his hands in hers as she walked backwards, pulling him along.

 

“Come on!” Darcy cheered, her eyes alight with joy.

 

She didn’t have to convince Steve anymore. He caught up to her side and they rushed to the entrance of the closest building. Once inside, Darcy led him through a couple of deserted halls until she opened a door that led to an inner courtyard with a small playset. They practically ran across the grass to a screen door and stepped inside.

 

“So this is our apartment,” Darcy told him. They were standing in what was basically a living room with a couch, a couple of armchairs, and a bookcase to the side with a television in front of an open area with a few toys scattered around. A kitchen was ahead of them, separated from the main room with a dividing counter. “The living quarters are in this wing, since it’s the most protected being right up against a cliff, and there’s an escape tunnel in case we get boxed in. I’d give you a tour, but we’re going to be leaving soon, so that can happen another time if you want.”

 

Steve raised his eyebrows. “We’re leaving?”

 

“Well, yeah,” she said as she tugged him to follow her down the hall to the side. “We’re going to Wakanda,” she said simply. “Frigga’s room,” she said pointing to the first door on the left as she passed it, “nursery,” was the next door, “bathroom, and finally our room. All your clothes are here by the way.”

 

So saying, Darcy went to the walk in closet and started stripping. Steve stayed out while he divested himself of the tac suit before changing into the washed-out jeans and navy t-shirt Darcy tossed him.

 

“So we’re going to Wakanda right now?” he asked as he pulled the shirt on over his head.

 

“I figure we might as well!” Darcy called out. “I should let the others know. Heimdall can transport us instead of having to worry about flying.”

 

She walked out dressed in yoga pants that cut off below the knee and a simple, light blue empire cut shirt that, like the Asgardian dress, accented her baby bump. Steve smiled at her, his eyes lingering over her stomach.

 

“Okay,” he agreed and went to kiss her. “Let’s go get our kids.”

 

At that moment, a light knock sounded on their bedroom door.

 

“Knock, knock,” whispered a female voice. “Please be decent and not screwing like bunnies.”

 

Darcy snorted and went to open the door. Daisy Johnson stood there smirking. She lifted a finger to her mouth and shushed them mischievously. Then her eyes ran over Darcy and Steve before she smiled fully.

 

Darcy smiled back and the two women pulled each other into a fierce hug.

 

“Hey,” Daisy said as she pulled back. “I saw the Bifrost. I knew you were back and figured I’d bring Frigga here. I left her in the living room.” Daisy threw her thumb back behind her.

 

“Where’s-”

 

“Frank has him,” Daisy answered before Darcy got the question out. “He was getting fussy, so Frank took him for a walk. You know,” she said with her head tilted to the side. “I’m surprised by how... _gentle_ the Punisher is with them. It’s kind of sweet.”

 

Darcy smirk triumphantly. “I knew he would be. How has everything been?”

 

Daisy shrugged. “You were only gone four days. We got worried when you didn’t come back like you were supposed to though. Sharon started an investigation, so she’s really not happy that she spent so much energy trying to find you, but I think she’s more relieved you’re okay. By the way, you should know that Jane and Sharon turned on the chronicles when Ross showed up and knocked out the cameras. Don’t worry though, she turned it off after you arrived on Asgard. I just thought you should know. Anyway, the kids were fine,” Daisy reported, and Darcy and Steve nodded.

 

“We kept our worry from them. Yesterday we tried to distract Frigga by having Lila, Cooper, and Cassie over. It kind of worked,” Daisy smirked again and leaned forward. “Frigga’s a pretty chill toddler, but she threw a tantrum and the boys couldn’t get either of your kids to stop crying. We offered to help, but they were like, ‘No! We don’t your help!’ even though they were clearly having no luck. Then Deadpool* showed up out of nowhere and got all of the kids to calm down in, like, one minute flat. The guys were pissed!” Daisy laughed. “We just thought it was hilarious watching Hogun the Grimm, Lance Hunter, and the Punisher begging two little kids to stop crying and failing until the Merc with a Mouth showed up and calmed everything down. I got it all on camera, too! I call it,” she looked up dramatically and spread her hands, “Three Supermen and a Baby*!”

 

Steve snorted and Darcy giggled.

 

“Anyway,” Daisy said as she tiptoed down the hall, “Someone’s missed you!” she whisper-shouted.

 

Darcy and Steve followed after her with eager faces. Daisy went around the corner first and walked over to the curly-headed toddler with pigtails playing with Black Widow and Thor action figures. She was also wearing a purple dress with little arrow symbols all over it in a lighter lavender color**.

 

“Frigga,” Daisy sang as she got out of the path between Frigga and Darcy. “Look who’s here.”

 

Frigga looked up, her blue eyes seeing first Daisy and then Darcy as she stepped around the corner.

 

Her little face lit up immediately. “Mommy!” She ran over and latched herself onto Darcy, who’d bent down to wrap her arms around her daughter before standing and spinning around. Darcy smiled with her eyes closed, holding her little girl close. Steve watched from just behind the corner as his two favorite ladies hugged, Darcy kissing Frigga all over her head and cheeks and making exaggerated kissing noises.

  
“I missed you, baby,” Darcy cooed. “I love you so much.”

 

“Miss you, Mommy,” Frigga said in that high-pitched, breathy voice all toddlers have.

 

Darcy kissed her cheek again, Frigga puckering her lips and kissing Darcy’s cheek, too.

 

“Guess who I brought with me?” Darcy teased and looked over at Steve where he still hid. He smiled wider and walked out. Frigga turned her head around. While she was happy to see Darcy, she was ecstatic to see Steve.

 

“Daddy!” she shouted as she squirmed in Darcy’s arms until Darcy set her down. “Daddy, daddy, daddy,” she chanted as she ran into his arms.

 

Steve’s smile spread across his face as he nuzzled the top of Frigga’s head. “Frigga, my little queen,” he whispered as he stood. He pressed a kiss to her head for a moment and then just rested his cheek on the top of her head. One of his hands spread completely across Frigga’s back, shoulder to shoulder, and the other supported her as she clung to his chest, fists clutching his shirt as her head rested just under Steve’s collar bone.

 

“I missed you so much, Frigga,” he told her. Steve’s voice was tight with repressed emotion. “So, so much. My baby girl. I love you so much.” He rubbed his cheek slightly over her forehead.

 

Frigga tilted her head up at him. Her voice was quiet, but sweet when she said, “Love you, Daddy. Miss you.” Her tiny hands twisted the fabric on his shoulders, as that was as far as her short arms could reach around him.

 

Darcy stood next to Daisy, who looked away from the reunion between father and daughter.

 

“I, uh, I should go,” she said quietly, so as not to disturb them.

 

“Wait.” Darcy took Daisy’s arm and tugged her down the hall back into the master bedroom. “Are you okay?” she asked with knitted brows after shutting the door.

 

Daisy opened her mouth and then closed it. “I don’t know,” she answered honestly. She chewed her lip. “Do you ever ask yourself, ‘How _the hell_ did I get here?’”

 

Darcy smiled. “All the time.” She lowered her head and looked at Daisy complacently. “But I wouldn’t trade it. No matter what. Usually I decide that it doesn’t matter anyway. I’m here, so I deal.”

 

Daisy shook her head slightly. “Three years ago, I wouldn’t be able recognize who I am now,” she said sadly. “So much has happened and yet,” she chuckled self-deprecatingly, “I feel like I am right back where I started.”

 

Darcy raised a brow and Daisy smiled sheepishly. “I, uh, bought a van.”

 

Darcy’s face smoothed in understanding. “Let me tell you something, Daisy,” she started in a no-nonsense tone. “I know that I appear to have everything figured out, but the truth is, I don’t. Nine times out of ten, I am just making it up as I go. I think the only reason it works out is because everything I do is true to who I am, but I didn’t always know who that was.”

 

Darcy put her hands on Daisy’s shoulders. “I know you’re confused right now, but believe it or not, that’s a good thing.”

 

“How?” Daisy questioned skeptically.

 

“Because it means you’re finally breathing,” Darcy explained. “Think of everything you’ve been through the last few years. It’s been one thing right after the other! You never had time to come to terms with how those experiences changed you. I know! I’ve been exactly where you are now. Thor and SHIELD and aliens and superheroes and jack-booted thugs,” Darcy listed with a wide eyes.

 

Daisy smirked. “SHIELD and aliens and inhumans and psycho parents and evil ex-boyfriends.” Darcy laughed gently at her contribution. “God,” Daisy exclaimed. “Our lives are _So. Fucked. Up!”_

 

Darcy nodded in agreement. “Preacher. Choir,” she said as she pointed to Daisy and then herself. Her smile dimmed. “You bought a van?” she asked in a solemn tone. Daisy nodded. “Then go,” Darcy told her.

 

Daisy blinked in shock and Darcy smiled. “Sometimes the only way to find out who we are is to start over. We go somewhere no one knows us, and we can make decisions without anyone’s expectations weighing on us. We’re free to be ourselves and to discover just who that is.” Darcy leaned closer. “So go,” she encouraged with a smile. “Go! Go! Go! But,” Darcy added, “when you’re ready,” she studied Daisy’s face, “come home. You know where we’ll be, and we will wait for you for as long as you need.”

 

Daisy’s lips tightened as her eyes softened. She pulled Darcy into a hug that she returned.

 

“And,” Darcy murmured to her, “try to remember that you have other family as well, and they probably miss you a lot.”

 

Daisy smiled. “I know, and I will. Thank you. You’re right. I needed this break. It was nice to breathe.”

 

Darcy smiled and squeezed her tighter. She sang out, “I love you, cuz!”

 

“I love you, too, cuz!” Daisy laughed back.

 

The two giggled and headed back to the living room.

 

* * *

 

 

Steve smiled at Frigga, eyes slightly wet. He noticed Darcy and Daisy leave them out of the corner of his eye.

 

“Daddy?” Frigga asked in her breathy voice.

 

“Yes, little queen?” Steve spoke gently.

 

“Color?”

 

Steve smiled brightly. “Okay.” He set Frigga down on her own two feet and looked over both his shoulders with wide eyes. Then he leaned closer to Frigga to whisper conspiratorially, “But remember, it’s our little secret, so _shhhh!”_ He put a finger to his lips and grinned.

 

Frigga smiled and giggled, copying his move and putting a finger to her own lips. “Sssssss,” she hissed as she couldn’t quite manage to make a shushing sound yet.

 

Steve walked over to the bookcase and quietly lifted one side so he could swing it partially around to make a ninety degree angle to the wall and see the wooden back of the bookcase. Hidden there were numerous little doodles. The ones at the top were just scribbles in bright marker, but as they went down, they started to progress into simple, childish drawings like a butterfly and a stick man. Beside each one was a date, the first a little less than a year before and the last about three months ago. In all, there were about fifty little drawings on the back of the bookcase.

 

“Okay Frigga,” Steve whispered. “What do you want to draw this time?”

 

Frigga’s bottom lip stuck out as she thought, an adorable frown on her face. She held up her hands, fingers spread. “Hanz,” she said.

 

“Hands,” Steve nodded. “Okay.” Steve looked around and spotted the pack of crayola markers sitting on the counter. He walked over and picked them up before sitting down cross-legged before the bookcase, Frigga sitting in his lap. “What color?” he asked as he held up the pack for her to choose.

 

“Um, pu-ple,” she declared firmly and got out the purple marker. She grabbed Steve’s hand and he let her direct it to lay flat on the wood with his fingers splayed. Frigga took off the cap and handed it to Steve, who dutifully took it from her.

 

The frown returned to Frigga’s face and her eyes narrowed as she concentrated on tracing Steve’s hand, getting purple ink on his skin as she did so. Steve didn’t mind though. In fact, he didn’t once look away from Frigga’s face, content to simply watch her.

 

“Done,” Frigga said with a smile after she leaned down under Steve’s arm to connect the line back to where she started.

 

Steve pulled his hand away. The outline was wobbly looking and the thickness of the line differed at points, but it was still a hand. “That’s perfect,” he praised in a low voice. “I could not have done better.”

 

“Now me,” Frigga commanded with a smile. Steve just smiled wider.

 

“Okay. What color would you like?”

 

Frigga looked back at the markers. “Oh-wange.”

 

Steve picked up the orange marker and Frigga slapped her hand partially over Steve’s outline so that the fingers touched and overlapped.

 

Steve carefully maneuvered the marker tip around Frigga’s small fingers, making sure not to get ink on her. When Frigga pulled her hand away, the contrast of their hands was clear to see. Frigga’s tiny hand could fit completely in his palm, even with the fingers spread out as they were.

 

Steve picked out the black marker and asked her, “Where should I put the date?”

 

Frigga thought and pointed to the clear space in the palm of his drawn hand. “Dare.”

 

“Good spot,” Steve said and wrote out the month, day, and year numbers with little slashes in between.

 

Steve capped the markers and set them aside before wrapping his arms around Frigga’s body and cuddling her close. He pressed a kiss to the top of her head and looked at the back of the bookcase, eyes scanning over each of the drawings and corresponding dates. Those dates represented all of the times he returned home, but it struck him that they were also all of the times he had left in the first place.

 

“Daddy?” Frigga looked up at him with sad blue eyes. “You go?” she asked sadly.

 

“No,” Steve said firmly. “I’m not going. Not for a long time. If I go away again, it’ll be because there’s no other way to keep you and your ma and brother safe. Okay?”

 

Frigga pouted. “Pwomise?”

 

Steve smiled. “I _promise_. I’m not leaving you. I miss you too much.”

 

Frigga turned to face him in his lap and looked at him intently. She held out her right hand, only her pinky finger extended. “Pinky Pwomise?” she asked.

 

Steve smiled at her in amusement and wrapped his pinky around hers. “Pinky promise.”

 

When they separated hands, Frigga then extended her thumb. “Tum swear.”

 

Steve pushed down his growing smile. “I thumb swear.”

 

Frigga pulled back her hand and spit into her palm. “Spit sake.”

 

Steve’s eyebrows rose in shock. “Who told you about a spit shake? Wait,” Steve’s face lowered into one of annoyed resignation. “It was your Uncle Hunter. Wasn’t it?”

 

Frigga’s face broke into a smile and she nodded her head eagerly. “Yeah!”

 

Steve sighed but held his hand up to his face so he could spit a bit of saliva onto it. Frigga grasped his hand and they shook gently. “I promise I won’t leave unless I have no other choice,” he said slowly. “Do you believe me?”

 

Frigga nodded her head and smiled, showing her baby teeth. She stood and hugged Steve around the neck and he hugged her back. Frigga held up the hand she shook with behind his head.

 

“Ew,” she said and wiped it on the back of Steve’s shirt. Steve felt it and just grinned, deciding to be amused by it. He wiped his own hand on his jeans.

 

From down the hall, he heard the bedroom door open and his eyes went wide. He gasped quietly and let Frigga go. “Quick!” he whispered. “Your ma’s coming!”

 

Steve stood and lifted the bookcase to pivot it quietly back against the wall while Frigga took the box of markers and pushed them under the coffee table. Steve turned around with his hands clasped behind his back, an innocent expression fixed on his face, just as Darcy and Daisy came back in wearing smiles.

 

The two took in Steve and Frigga, who held her hands up nervously, partially covering her face. Darcy put her hands on her hips and asked with a raised eyebrow, “What are you two doing?”

 

Steve shrugged. “Nothin’,” he said in a slightly higher pitched voice that fooled no one.

 

Frigga looked up at him and then copied his stance, placing her hands behind her back and looking at Darcy with big eyes. “Nutin’,” she said. Frigga smiled. “Nutin’, mommy. Nutin.”

 

Daisy raised a hand to cover her smile and Darcy just raised a skeptical brow. “Uh huh,” she agreed mockingly.

 

Steve grinned at her and strode over. Without warning, he dipped her and followed her down to kiss her. “I love you,” he told her.

 

Darcy snorted up at him. “If this is your way of distracting me, then by all means, distract away!”

 

Daisy rolled her eyes as Steve pulled her up for another kiss before turning to Daisy.

 

“Well, I’m headed out,” she informed them happily.

 

“Thank you for everything,” Steve said. Daisy waved it away and then stepped up to give him a brief hug. She broke away and bent down to Frigga.

 

“I’ll see you later, okay?” Daisy told the toddler. “I have to go do some stuff, but you be good for your mommy and daddy.”

 

Frigga nodded obediently. “Okay, Aunt Daisy. Miss you.”

 

“I’ll miss you, too, Munchkin!” With a final wave at the family, Daisy left through the entrance door of the apartment and was gone.

 

Darcy leaned down to Frigga. “Hey, baby. Do you have Mommy and Daddy’s rings?” she asked sweetly.

 

Frigga smiled and pulled the neck of her dress away from her with one hand while the other dove underneath to pull out a necklace. It was a sturdy chain of Asgardian make that had three rings on it. Darcy unclasped the necklace, slid the rings off and then clasped it again around Frigga’s neck.

 

The rings were beautiful**. Two were obviously for Darcy and the last for Steve. None of the rings were made of gold or silver, but some kind of foreign metal that was probably alien and seemed to give off it’s own light. The closest comparison was white gold, but even that could not compare to the brilliance of the rings. The two wedding bands were similar in make, though Darcy’s was thinner, with engravings of two lines gracefully crisscrossing all the way around. Darcy’s engagement ring was absolutely stunning, though. In a way it was simple, but on closer inspection, the design was actually quite intricate.

 

The ring twisted to form an infinity symbol, and interwoven in the center were two hearts, one right-side up and the other upside down. It almost looked like a six-petal flower. In the center was a diamond cut gem that seemed to switch between blue and green, depending on how the light hit it. It was exactly the color of Darcy’s eyes. Around it were small round gems that looked like yellow sapphire because their slightly golden appearance, along with blue and green sapphires.

 

It was not a typical engagement ring, but it screamed Darcy with it’s small stones and intricate metalwork that gave it a delicate appearance. Not to mention the fact that it showed two hearts bound together for infinity.

 

Darcy was about to put that one on when the rings were plucked from her hand.

 

“Hey!” she exclaimed. Steve chuckled and put on his own wedding band.

 

“May I?” he asked as he slid down on one knee.

 

Darcy bit her lip to try to stop smiling, but didn’t really succeed. She held out her left hand and Steve slid first the engagement and then wedding rings onto her third finger. He kissed her hand and pulled her close. As he was still kneeling, that put his face right near Darcy’s stomach, and he lifted her shirt enough to place two lingering kisses on her taut skin near her navel. A wide grin spread on his face and he looked up at Darcy, cheek pressed to her belly.

 

Darcy grinned at his doting behavior and tugged him up for a kiss. They kept it kid appropriate, seeing as Frigga was standing just a few feet away, but Frigga still wrinkled her nose at her parents.

 

“Ew!” she exclaimed.

 

Steve broke away and looked down at Frigga. She was only two and half feet tall, reaching just above his knees. “Ew?” he asked. “Ew! Ew!” he said playfully. “Come here!” He scooped her up and planted smacking kisses all over face and neck while she squirmed and giggled in his grasp. Then Steve lifted her dress and blew a big, long raspberry on her tummy, making her shriek and laugh.

 

“No!” she giggled. “Daddy!”

 

Steve laughed, completely carefree, and Darcy watched the two with a wide smile and shining eyes.

 

A knock on the door sounded a second before it opened to reveal Frank Castle - thankfully not in his Punisher gear - holding a dark-haired baby in one arm.

 

“Hope I’m not interrupting,” he said in his gruff voice.

 

“Nope,” said Darcy quickly. She rushed over and took the curly-headed baby into her arms. He could sit up easily as he was a little over ten months old. He smiled at his mother and burrowed into her neck before patting his little hand on her chest.

 

“Yes, yes,” Darcy said absently. “You’re hungry. You are definitely your father’s son with how much you like boobs. Excuse me,” she said, looking up. “I’m going to feed him. Bruce said any longer and my milk would dry up.” She grimaced and turned away, heading for the nursery.

 

Steve looked back at Frank and just then noticed that he was carrying a duffle over his shoulder.

 

“You leaving, too?” Steve asked, adjusting Frigga in his arms.

 

Frank nodded. “I got work to do.”

 

“Go?” questioned Frigga softly. Her eyes went wide in a puppy pout.

 

Frank held out his arms and Steve passed her over. Frank put Frigga down and knelt on one knee so they were at the same eye level. He turned briefly to pull something out of his duffle that turned out to be a thin book with a big bear holding a little bear on the front. “One Batch, Two Batch” was titled above the picture.

 

He held it out to Frigga and she took it with a grin. “You know this book I read ya?”

 

Frigga swiveled in place as she recited, “One bats, two bats, penny and dime.”

 

Frank’s face softened. “Yeah,” he said. “That book’s important to me, so I want you to take care of it for me,” he told her seriously. “Maybe now your dad can read it to you.”

 

Frigga looked at Frank and then down at the book with a frown. She turned her head up to look at Steve and then back at Frank.

 

“No!” she cried. “Daddy no weed. Unca Fwank weed One Bats, Two Bats,” she begged with a sad look as she held the book back out to Frank.

 

Steve’s lips twitched and he looked away to hide his grin, purposely ignoring Frank’s pleading look for help.

 

Frank looked back at Frigga’s big blue eyes. “Well,” he started hesitantly. “I uh...” His chin lifted and he seemed to make up his mind. “I guess I’ll just have to come back and read it to ya.”

 

Frigga’s face lit up and she lunged forward to hug Frank around his neck. It only took a second for him to lightly hug her back.

 

“Okay,” he said quickly, becoming uncomfortable with the prolonged hug. Frank nudged her away and stood up. “You take care alright?” he said to Frigga and Steve.

 

“You’re not going to wait for Darcy?” Steve asked.

 

Frank snorted. “You kiddin’ me? If I wait, she’ll convince me to stay just a little longer and then I’ll never get out of here.” Steve smiled at that accurate assessment. “You need anything, though,” Frank said, “you just give me a call.”

 

Steve nodded and held out his hand. Frank eyed it for a moment and then grasped it firmly.

 

“Up,” Frigga demanded from below them. Steve picked her up and settled her on his hip. She leaned her head on his shoulder tiredly. Frank looked at her with slightly glazed eyes as his expression steadily saddened.

 

“Don’t waste it,” he murmured. He looked Steve in the eye. “Don’t give up one second of being with them.” His grief-filled eyes flicked to Frigga. “Cause one moment they’ll be there...and the next,” Frank swallowed, “they won’t.”

 

Steve looked Frank dead in the eye. “I’m not leaving them.”

 

Frank stared at him a moment and then gave a jerky nod. He turned and stepped out the door, but Steve called his name.

 

“Frank!” Steve paused. “I know this is none of my business, but you’re not a bad guy. You deserve to be happy, too. So...maybe you should take your own advice, and don’t waste it.”

 

Frank turned his head to look at Steve over his shoulder. “Darcy told you?”

 

Steve nodded. “Anyone is lucky to find a love like you had with your wife just once in life. You found it twice.”

 

“I’m not good for her.”

 

Steve rolled his eyes. “Look, I’m not the one to play matchmaker in this relationship. That’s Darcy, but I will say this. Who you are now, is not who you were before. She fits you, and you fit her. And if you respect her _at all_ then you will give her the choice of what she wants.” Steve tilted his head. “From what I hear, you’re the one person in her life that’s never lied to her. I think she deserves for you to be honest with her, even if you can’t be honest with yourself.”

 

Frank was silent for a moment. “You done?”

 

Steve sighed. “Yeah. I’m done.” Steve pursed his lips. “Thank you, Frank. Good luck.”

 

Frank walked down the hall and didn’t look back.

 

Steve closed the door and heard a heavy sigh from behind him.

 

“Well,” Darcy said blandly. “You gave it a shot. I swear that man’s more stubborn than you.”

 

Steve smirked. “Really? I thought you were the stubborn one.”

 

“We’re both stubborn.”

 

Steve smiled and looked over at Darcy carrying their son.

 

She smiled and looked down at her son’s face. Then she turned her body to the side so that he could see Steve. “Look,” she whispered. “Who’s that? That’s Daddy!”

 

Steve adjusted Frigga and gazed into his son’s bright blue eyes that contained just a bit of green like Darcy’s.

 

His son looked at Steve curiously and chewed on his hand.

 

Steve felt his smile slip off his face at the lack of any reaction. “Hey there, little man,” he said in a forced upbeat tone. “Look at you. You’ve gotten so big!” His voice turned sad at the end.

 

However, Steve’s voice sparked something and the baby smiled widely and reached for Steve, making excited little noises as he did.

 

Steve and Darcy deftly switched kids and Steve was finally able to hold his son after three months away.

 

While the baby smiled and cooed and explored Steve’s face with his chubby hands, Steve couldn’t help but feel his face tighten in guilt.

 

“For a moment there, he didn’t know me,” he voiced the thought aloud.

 

Darcy rubbed Frigga’s back and then placed her hand on Steve’s arm. “It’s been a long time for a baby,” she said gently. “He didn’t forget you, though. I made sure to show him your picture, and we play those recordings of you reading to him every night. That’s why he knew your voice. You’ve always done your best to be there for them even when it was physically impossible.”

 

Steve nodded and kissed the top of his son’s head, the baby-fine, curly black hair tickling his cheek.

 

“Come on,” Darcy said, trying to lift the mood. “I’ve already got several bags packed. Let’s go to Wakanda. There are some people we need to introduce.”

 

* * *

  

Toddler Frigga (just imagine her hair in pigtails)

 

Darcy's Engagement Ring. Yes, that is an original design that I created (if any of you actually make jewelry, let me know because I want this for real).

 

Steve's and Darcy's Wedding Band

 

Steve and Darcy's Baby Boy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Yes I did put Deadpool in here and yes I did have Darcy know him because Darcy knows everyone. I am absolutely on board with the fan theory that Deadpool takes place in the MCU and no one will convince me otherwise. Also: Deadpool. 'nough said. Why WOULDN'T you want him in a crossover story? Also, I think I will write a one-shot about that little episode.
> 
> *Three Men and a Baby is a 1987 film, which Daisy made a reference to with "Three Supermen and a Baby."
> 
> You will all find out what Steve and Darcy named their son next time!


	16. Life Choices Have Just Been Validated

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the kids are introduced.
> 
> OR
> 
> The boys are disappointed.
> 
> Steve is smarter than you think.
> 
> Tony really needs a hug...but he'd rather drive everyone crazy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god, you guys. Let me just start by saying that I am SO SORRY for making you wait this long. You have no idea how crazy my life has been the last two months. I had about a third of this written when I posted the last chapter and have been sitting on it since then, only having time to add a few words here and there because just a couple days after that last post, I got notice that I would start my new job training in 3 weeks. But before that, I had to clear up everything in my life since it would be a big move for me. Then I went out of the country for a week. Then I started training and it was so exhausting; there were days when it lasted 12 hours or more. Then I've been working the past couple weeks, and while it has been AMAZING, it takes up almost all of my free time. It's only now when things have started to calm down that I can actually do this. 
> 
> So, I am sorry for the wait, but it is finally here. Just to note though, updates will most likely be every other week. I AM NOT abandoning this story. It's my baby!

Heimdall deposited the Rogers family on the same spot on the Wakandan palace veranda that he had transported Steve from. Darcy’s phone buzzed from the text messages sent during her brief two minutes on Asgard that were just then received since she had a signal again. She scrolled through the messages as she and Steve walked forward, Steve carrying most of the luggage as well as a sleepy Frigga while Darcy carried their son and a couple of over-the-shoulder bags.

 

“Looks like everyone’s ready to go,” Darcy commented. She looked up at Steve. “They should be here soon.”

 

Steve smiled. “That’ll be a nice surprise for the team.”

 

Steve led her through the wide palace corridors until they neared the end of the hall. There was no door to separate them from the large common area beyond. Stepping just into the room, they were slightly surprised to see everyone gathered, as usually there was some kind of conversation or noise going on when the Avengers were all together, but they had all been silent.

 

The family quickly gathered everyone’s attention as all heads snapped around to face them.

 

Darcy smiled awkwardly. “Uh, hey everyone!” she said cheerfully.

 

Natasha stood up immediately and walked over to hug Darcy. As she let go, she looked over at Steve and Frigga, who looked even tinier in Steve’s arms.

 

“Auntie Nat!” Frigga exclaimed and held her hands out to the smiling assassin.

 

Natasha smiled brightly, “Hello, malen’kaya koroleva*.”

 

Frigga beamed, showing her baby teeth, and hugged Natasha around the neck.

 

Darcy silently handed Steve their son before Natasha scolded her. “Don’t ever do something that stupid again,” she demanded in a low tone as she glared at Darcy while cuddling the toddler.

 

Darcy smirked. “I can make no such promises, but next time I’ll try to give you a heads up.”

 

Natasha shook her head with a smile and turned to everyone else who had gotten up and crowded around them.

 

Clint smiled with an excited gleam in his eye. “So, are we finally going to meet our new niece and nephew?”

 

Darcy and Steve shared a smile before Steve announced, “Everyone, this is our daughter, Frigga Sarah Rogers.”

 

Frigga, still held in Natasha’s arms, smiled shyly at the group. “Hi,” she whispered as she held up a hand and opened and closed her fist.

 

“Aww!” Wanda squealed. She held her arms out eagerly. “May I hold you?”

 

Frigga smiled at her and released Natasha’s neck to reach for Wanda. Natasha sighed, but passed her to Wanda and the two girls cuddled close, Wanda with an almost manic smile on her face.

 

Frigga ran her hand through a lock of Wanda’s hair. “Pwetty,” she said.

 

Wanda giggled. “Thank you. I think you are very pretty, too.”

 

Darcy stepped forward. “Frigga, do you remember who everyone is?”

 

Frigga pulled away slightly to look around her. She nodded her head and pointed to each person as she named them. “Unca Cint, Unca Sam, Unca Bucky, and Pwetty Wanda,” she finished with a pat to Wanda’s shoulder. She quickly looked back at Darcy, a small frown on her face, and whispered loudly so everyone could hear, “Mommy, I no know dem.” She pointed at Scott and T’Challa.

 

Steve chuckled along with everyone else. Darcy plucked Frigga out of Wanda’s arms. “Of course you do,” she said gently. “Remember the stories I’ve been telling you, especially the one about the jungle king and the jungle prince that Mommy saved?”

 

Frigga nodded.

 

“Well, this is T’Challa. He’s the jungle prince in the story, but now he’s the jungle _king_. He’s also the Black Panther. I showed you a picture of him. He’s the one dressed as a black cat.”

 

Frigga perked up. “Kitty?” she asked. She turned to face T’Challa. “Kitty!” She made grabby-hands to the bemused king. “Kitty! Kitty!”

 

Darcy chuckled and offered her to T’Challa, who took a hold of her and held her against his chest. Frigga immediately snuggled closer.

 

“Kitty my fav’it.”

 

T’Challa’s eyebrows rose and a smile grew on his face as he looked down at her. His eyes flicked up to look at the others and a wicked glint entered his eyes. “I’m her favorite,” he said smugly to the other male heroes.

 

Clint snorted. “Yeah. We’ll see about that. Need I remind you which one of us is a Norn’s favorite Avenger?”

 

Sam crossed his arms and glared at T’Challa as well. “Enjoy it while it lasts, _Kitty._ I’m gonna replace you soon enough.”

 

T’Challa smirked. “You can try. _Birdie_.”

 

Steve snorted in amusement. “Frigga,” he said gently. “This is Scott. He’s also Ant-Man.”

 

Frigga nodded. “Bug,” she declared.

 

Scott sighed. “Yeah,” he said with a resigned tone. “That makes sense.”

 

Frigga wiggled in T’Challa’s arms. “Down,” she demanded, but softened the command by patting his cheek lightly. “Down pease.”

 

T’Challa set her down and Frigga ran up to Bucky with a huge smile on her face. Bucky stared back, a hesitant smile gracing his lips.

 

Frigga held her arms up and made grabby hands. “Up.”

 

Bucky jumped and his body went tense, the happiness disappearing from his face as his eyes went wide and blank, blood draining rapidly as his mouth dropped a little, giving him an overall expression of dawning horror.

 

Frigga pouted up at him. “Up,” she said again.

 

Bucky seemed to shrink in on himself and, though he didn’t step back from Frigga, he did lean away from her, body turned so that his metal arm was behind him as he studied the toddler with wide-eyed wariness.

 

Darcy and Steve exchanged a look.

 

Sam, backing Bucky up, stepped towards Frigga to distract her. “Hey now! Why don’t you want me to pick you up? I thought you wanted to go flying with me?”

 

Frigga gasped in delight and readily turned to Sam, who quickly settled her on his hip as she hung on in contentment.

 

“So what about this little guy?” Sam asked, jerking his chin to the baby Steve held who was staring around at everyone with his fingers in his mouth, eyes flickering from person to person.

 

Steve and Darcy grinned at each other and she shook her head.

 

“Sorry guys. Not just yet,” Darcy told them.

 

Clint crossed his arms. “But we can’t _not_ know his name when he’s right here.”

 

Darcy didn’t respond as she pushed past the group to approach the high-tech tv console in the sitting area.

 

“Take a seat,” she told them with a careless wave. “TC, you have an attached camera to this, right?”

 

T’Challa’s brow rose in interest. “Yes,” he replied.

 

Natasha’s eyes widened. “Oh no,” she moaned. “Darcy, please don’t tell me we’re having _another_ video chat,” she begged.

 

“Okay. I won’t tell you.”

 

Natasha sighed.

 

“Relax,” Darcy defended. “This one is private. I just need several people,” she said as she typed on her phone with her right hand and pushed a few buttons on the television remote with her left, “to accept the call.”

 

And with that, the tv mounted on the wall turned on divided down the middle into two sections.

 

On the left were Pepper, Tony, Rhodey, and Vision, with Happy just barely seen in the background. On the right stood Phil Coulson and the remaining core members of his team at his hidden SHIELD base.

 

All of the people looked slightly confused, as though they weren’t sure why she had called them nor what exactly had made them answer.

 

“Darcy!” Pepper yelled out.

 

Tony pressed closer to her to be in the frame as well. “Are you okay, Kiddo?”

 

Darcy smiled. “I’m fine. No injuries.” She rested her hands on her hips. “I’m perfectly healthy.”

 

“Good,” Pepper stated. “Which means there’s nothing holding me back from YELLING AT YOU!” Pepper shrieked with wide eyes and bared teeth. “Darcy Maria Lewis! What on earth has gotten into you? How dare you act so carelessly?” she chastised. “And pregnant? You’re pregnant!” Pepper shouted in a slightly surprised tone, like she was just then taking it in. “You’re pregnant and you’re married and you’re a mom and all with Steve and-and-and you kept this from us! And-and _you_ Steven Grant Rogers!”

 

Steve stiffened with wide eyes as Pepper addressed him.

 

“You two-I just-you-urgh!” Pepper balled her fists and squeezed her eyes closed. An orange flame flared under Pepper’s skin for a moment. “I’m so upset I can’t even talk straight!” she huffed.

 

Darcy winced. “I’m sorry. This sucks. I really wish I could have told you guys, but I couldn’t!”

 

Pepper’s eyes glistened with moisture. “And I get why. I do, but I just hate that this was kept from me...and from Tony. You’re practically our daughter!”

 

Tony coughed and looked away from the screen.

 

“Young lady,” Pepper continued, “you have a lot of explaining to do, let me tell you.” Pepper took in a deep breath and smoothed out her clothes to get herself under control. “However,” she spoke in a measured tone, “we can discuss it once we are all together again.” She narrowed her eyes. “Steven Grant Rogers,” hissed Pepper in a low voice. “Let me tell you right now that if you ever hurt Darcy, I will destroy you so thoroughly that history will no longer remember your name.”

 

Steve blinked as he nodded once carefully.

 

Rhodey coughed into his fist. “Well then,” he stated with nervous eyes. “What uh, what’s going on?”

 

Darcy’s eyes flickered to him. “Well, I called because I wanted to introduce you to my kids. I know that in person would be better, but I wanted to see everyone’s reaction when you all found out our son’s name,” she informed him.

 

Rhodey nodded. “Oh, well then. Carry on.”

 

“Miss Lewis,” interrupted Phil Coulson, before he blinked in realization. “Rogers. Mrs. Rogers. I-I admit I did not see that one coming,” he muttered. Darcy smirked at him and he cleared his throat. “While I’m glad to hear from you, this information isn’t exactly of paramount importance. I’m flattered,” he continued with his bland voice, “but I have other concerns right now.”

 

Darcy glared at him. “Yeah, well, I’m sure it can wait five minutes. _And_ I’ll send you an update on how Daisy’s doing.”

 

Coulson’s eyes tightened. “Very well.”

 

Darcy smirked triumphantly. “You won’t regret it.” Darcy turned her attention to her phone she held up. “You there, Saint Nick?”

 

A sigh could be heard through the speaker. “Yes, Lewis.” He paused. “I’m here.”

 

Another voice shouted in the background.

 

“So am I!”

 

Sam’s eyes widened. “Momma? What are you doing with Fury?”

 

“I’m still at my safe house, Samuel,” Darlene returned dryly before her voice turned more cheerful. “Nicholas had just stopped by before that whole mess went down. He coordinated things from here.”

 

Sam’s brows rose in surprise and his nose scrunched up. “Nicholas?” he repeated.

 

“Oh,” muttered Darcy with a smirk. “I’m so calling it. Anyway!” she said loudly. “On to business. The point of this is to introduce you all to our son, so, first, for those who aren’t here, this is Frigga Sarah Rogers.” Darcy gestured to Frigga, who waved at the screens from Sam’s arms.

 

Several of those on the screens waved back. Leo Fitz and Jemma Simmons wore huge smiles and waved enthusiastically, all while making inane comments to Frigga like how adorable she was and that they couldn’t wait to meet her in person.

 

“And now,” said Darcy, “since everyone is here…”

 

Steve picked up her sentence, “We can finally introduce you to the final member of our family.”

 

“For now,” someone muttered.

 

Darcy rolled her eyes and Steve grinned briefly before stamping it down.

 

“The deal was that Darcy would pick his first name, and I would choose his middle name,” he informed. “We could only overturn the other’s decision if we absolutely hated the name.”

 

With a serene smile, Darcy looked around at her friends before focusing on the right side of the TV. “Everyone, I’d like you to meet our son,” she paused as she held the baby in her arms, eyes glinting with mirth, “Coulson.”

 

Several gasps sounded along with a couple cheers.

 

“Congrats Phil,” Fury praised over the phone. Tony rolled his eyes, but a small smile tugged at the corner of his lips. Pepper clapped and beamed.

 

Darcy smiled. “We mostly just call him Coul though,” she said with a gentle smile. “I’m saving the full name for when he really starts to get in trouble.”

 

Phil’s lips pressed tightly together as he blinked his suddenly wet eyes. His chin quivered and he lifted his arm up to hide his face in his elbow. He spun around, his back to the camera.

 

Natasha snorted and she and Clint shared a smirk.

 

Steve’s eyebrows lowered. “Phil?” he asked in concern.

 

Darcy’s mouth gaped. “Ipod Thief...are you _crying?”_

 

“No!” Phil paused. “Maybe...Yes,” he admitted. He turned back around and, indeed, a tear had escaped one eye and he quickly wiped it away. Softly, he asked, “You named your son after me?” Then his face brightened in wonder and his voice became more confident as he stated, “You named your son after me.”

 

Darcy beamed at him. “Yes, I did. Phil, you did so much for me,” she told him. “I have a lot of people who believe in me now, but you were the first. You saw me,” Darcy told him with wide, honest eyes. “You didn’t just write me off. You encouraged me to be better, taught me, covered for me when my shenanigans went a little too far, and supported me when I doubted myself. You were my mentor. Yeah, I was pissed when I found out you weren’t dead and didn’t tell me, but I’ve long forgiven you for that.” Her voice softened. “I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for you giving me a chance.”

 

Phil gave her a watery smile.

 

“So,” she continued, “when I held my son for the first time, it just came to me, and I knew it fit perfectly.”

 

Steve wrapped his arm around Darcy’s waist. “And I didn’t argue with her,” he said with a smile. “Why would I? You’ve dedicated your life to protecting people, but you’ve never let the job corrupt you. Even after everything, you’re still a good man.”

 

Phil blinked and fought a losing battle against the smile spreading over his face. “You named your son after me,” he whispered a bit giddily. His grin spread wider, a low chuckle leaving him in delight. “You named your son after me!” he exclaimed with bright eyes. He turned to Agent May standing next to him and tugged her arm like a child to get attention. “May, May! Steve and Darcy named their son after me!” he crowed.

 

May looked at him impassively with a slightly downturned mouth. “I heard Phil,” she replied.

 

“No. May. You don’t understand,” he said, eyes wide with wonder. “ _Captain America_ and _The_ Darcy Lewis named their _firstborn son_ after _me!”_ Phil’s face went blank. “All of my life choices have just been validated,” he declared. His face lit up with a manic grin.

 

Phil actually bounced on his toes, he was so happy. Darcy outright laughed at him and he looked over at her to fix his gaze on baby Coulson in her arms.

 

“Oh, and he’s so cute!” he cooed. “I’m Uncle Phil, right?” he demanded.

 

Darcy raised an amused brow. “You already are.”

 

Phil nodded like he expected nothing less. “This is great. Where are the Koenigs?” he asked, turning his head to look around the room. “I need to rub this in their faces.”

 

May rolled her eyes and glared at Darcy. “I hope you’re happy now. He is going to be absolutely _insufferable!”_ she growled.

 

Darcy shrugged. “Sorry, not sorry. Did I mention I already bought him a little suit and tie with mandatory MIB glasses?”

 

May narrowed her eyes. “I want pictures,” she intoned.

 

“When do I get to come visit my namesake?” Phil suddenly asked, tuning back into the conversation. His grin was a mile wide at the fact that he even _had_ a namesake.

 

“Whenever you have the time,” Steve answered. “We’ll be here for a week or so, but then we’ll be heading back to New York. Although, _where_ in New York is a bit of a question,” he finished uncertainly, turning his gaze to the screen showing the five members at the facility.

 

Pepper rolled her eyes. “Don’t be ridiculous,” she insisted. “You are coming either to the facility or the tower. We have a lot to discuss and I want to meet my pseudo-grandkids.” Pepper immediately gasped after she said that and grimaced. “I’m too young to have grandkids!” she blurted. Her face crumpled.

 

Natasha leaned forward. “Pepper, listen to me,” she crooned. “Baby clothes. Think of the baby clothes. You,” she said clearly, “get to go shopping for baby clothes.”

 

Pepper blinked at her and then her eyes drifted upwards. A smile slowly spread on her face. “I get to go shopping for baby clothes,” she intoned serenely. She clasped her hands together with a bright grin. “I get to go shopping for _adorable_ baby clothes!” She nodded to herself. “Very well, I can deal with being a sort of grandmother, but I’m not sure if I feel comfortable with them actually calling me grandma just yet. I mean, come on, do I look like a grandmother?”

 

Darcy grinned. “You’d be the hottest grandma on the planet! But if you don’t want that, Frigga will call you whatever you want her to, and Coul’s too young to speak just yet.”

 

“Speaking of which,” Sam intervened, leg jumping impatiently. “What’d you choose for his middle name?” he asked Steve with hopeful eyes.

 

Steve looked from Sam to Bucky to Clint, all gazing at him with big, hopeful eyes. Steve blinked once. “I didn’t name him after any of you,” he blurted out quickly.

 

Their faces drooped into pouts as one, eyes wide in disappointment.

 

Clint bowed his head. “I know that, next to Bucky and Sam, I shouldn’t be disappointed,” he said, “but I am.”

 

Wanda patted his arm consolingly.

 

Steve’s lips twitched into a small smile as he shook his head and turned to stare hard into the camera connecting him to the Avenger’s Facility. “I did choose to name him after someone though, like Darcy did. A friend,” he added softly.

 

Steve could see those at the facility frown in confusion, though Tony’s frown was more out of anger as a glint of understanding shone in his eyes. Steve blocked out the others around him and spoke to Tony. “That’s why I didn’t want to wait until we got back to New York to tell you. I thought you deserved to know just the same as everyone else.”

 

Tony’s lip curled and he looked away. “I see,” he said. “Let me guess. Dear old dad,” he scoffed and picked up a nearby screwdriver and started turning it over in his hands. “Coulson Howard Rogers. I suppose it’s not too horrible,” he commented, looking away from the screen.

 

Steve pursed his lips and tilted his head to the side. “Funnily enough, I did think about naming him after Howard...for about ten seconds, and then I discarded the idea and never considered it again.” Steve sighed heavily. “Look, Tony, the Howard I knew was different from the one you grew up with. Honestly, I don’t think I could have stayed friends with him if I had lived to see the man he had become.”

 

Tony’s eyes snapped up to meet Steve’s, filled with both doubt and hope.

 

Steve shook his head. “Funny thing is, you’re a lot like Howard.” Tony looked away again, disgust on his face. “I know you hear that a lot and you hate it,” Steve continued. “What most people fail to realize is that you are also very different from Howard.”

 

Tony looked at Steve out of the corner of his eye.

 

“I wasn’t blind to his faults, even then,” Steve told him. “I could see how Howard was generous with those he cared about, but completely uncaring of people in general. I could see how he could love someone, but only on his terms and when it suited him. I could see how he reacted to failure and turned bitter over it; colder, and how he would lash out at others. That’s how you’re different from him Tony.” Steve shrugged helplessly. “So I named my son after you.”

 

The screwdriver fell from Tony’s hands as he stared at Steve in shock.

 

Steve ignored the gasps and discontented mumbling from the other Avengers.

 

“My son’s full name,” he said clearly, “is Coulson. _Anthony_. Rogers.”

 

He waited with baited breath for Tony to speak, but instead, he watched as Tony’s face paled, expression turning to one of horror.

 

“No,” Tony gasped. “No. Wha...W-Why...Why would you do that?”

 

Darcy frowned. “Sorry, weren’t you always telling me and Steve - separately of course,” she said, glancing at her husband, “that we should name our son after you?”

 

“I didn’t think you’d actually do it!” Tony shouted. “Why-” he cut himself off and turned from the holograms of his former team to pace the lab, breath shaky and shallow.

 

“Well,” Phil Coulson interrupted awkwardly. “I believe we’ve seen enough. I’m going to turn this off now. I’ll be in touch,” he added before quickly escaping the now awkward video chat.

 

Darcy sighed. “Tony, what’s wrong?” she implored.

 

Tony choked off a watery laugh. Pepper took a half step towards him, but held herself back and bit her lower lip. She knew this talk had to happen.

 

“What’s _not_ wrong?” Tony mocked. “I willing leashed myself to a psycho that planned on brainwashing and torturing kids; who had _already_ hunted one of my best friends for a decade, _which I knew about!”_ he added. “I tried to make you guys do the same and then helped to lock you up in an underwater prison, never again to see the light of day. I go crazy and try to kill a person for killing my parents, even though I _knew_ he wasn’t really responsible, but just _didn’t_ _care_. And I,” Tony tilted his head to the ceiling. He finished in a whisper. “I nearly killed you.” He shook his head. His voice was no longer a whisper, but it was far worse because it sounded dead. “I would have done it,” he admitted. “You were holding back, but I wasn’t. If you hadn’t fought so hard, if you hadn’t blocked me, if I’d had the open shot...I would have killed you.”

 

Steve looked down and swallowed.

 

Tony blinked and turned his body to face Steve again, though he kept his gaze down as well. “You named your son after me, and I nearly killed you,” he stated.

 

Darcy bit her lip and looked from Steve to Tony, as did everyone else.

 

Steve inhaled and took Coul from Darcy’s arms, holding him facing the camera, one hand gently pressed against his stomach to hold Coul to his chest and the other beneath the baby’s diaper-clad butt.

 

“I know,” Steve said eventually. “What happened…” Steve trailed off. “I think we need to talk about that sometime later and just...get it all out.”

 

He rubbed Coul’s stomach and the baby looked up at him, hand in mouth, giving him a slobbery smile. Steve smiled. “Coul was born almost five months after Ultron, and in that time I realized something. You got almost all of the blame for creating him, when really, it was my fault, too. It was everyone’s fault because we’re a team, and it doesn’t matter that Ultron was your secret project.”

 

Steve shook his head and spoke in a tone that was nothing but sincere. “You shouldn’t have felt the need to keep it a secret. You should have been able to trust us enough to tell us. We should have been able to see how much you were affected by everything, and confronted you about it instead of letting you hide it away to fester. That’s on us, and since I was the team leader, it’s especially on me. What you did, you did to try to protect everyone.”

 

Tony’s brows knit together, eyes turned down in thought, shoulders slightly curled in.

 

Clint and Natasha looked away from everyone, feeling the truth of Steve’s words. Rhodey, too, rubbed the back of his neck in shame. He was Tony’s best friend. He should have known what he was trying to do. After all, Ultron wasn’t sudden. Tony had been trying to build him for months. They were all just as much to blame for not stopping Ultron from becoming a reality.

 

“Tony,” Steve huffed with a laugh, and Tony looked up at him in confusion. “You never stop trying to do what’s right. I of all people can understand that. Yeah, we fought over the Accords, but you believed it was the right thing to do and I can’t be mad at you for that. You didn’t know what the Accords really meant, but that doesn’t change the fact that everything you’ve done the past few years has been to make the world a better place, no matter the obstacles. There are so many times when you could have died. Anyone else in your shoes would have. Afghanistan, the palladium poisoning, the wormhole, everything!” Steve listed. “But you got through it. The reason I named my son after you is because I wanted you - _want_ you - to be his role model.”

 

Steve bounced Coulson a bit. “I know some people wouldn’t consider you as a good role model, but you are because even though you make mistakes,” Steve said evenly, “you never make the same mistake twice.”

 

Steve glanced down at the smiling baby and when he looked back up, his face was solemn and his voice low as he spoke slowly. “My son is going to have a lot of pressure on him growing up just because of the fact that he’s my son.”

 

At that, Tony’s eyes flicked down to the brunette baby, the lines around his eyes softening.

 

“It’s the same pressure put on you for being Howard’s son,” Steve continued. “I want him to know it’s _okay_ to be human and mess up from time to time, just so long as he learns something from it.” Steve grinned ruefully. “Lord knows I won’t be able to teach him that. I need a lesson pounded into my head a few times for it to stick.”

 

Tony’s lips twitched up into a small smile.

 

Steve grinned wider. “Coul has a lot of great role models, but you’ll be the one to teach him to never give up fighting to make things right. That might be my title, but really, I think it belongs to you. You’re the one who never gives up. You always find a way Tony, and that’s something worth passing on.”

 

Darcy and Pepper both smiled proudly at their men. The others, both in Wakanda and New York, watched on with new understanding on all of their faces.

 

Tony’s jaw clenched and unclenched as he slowly nodded his head up and down. In a barely heard murmur, he said, “Kay.” He nodded his head sharply once more. “Okay,” he repeated in a stronger voice. He inhaled deeply and tilted his head back to stare at the ceiling with suspiciously wet eyes. “Right. Yeah. Okay,” he said in quick succession. Tony clapped his hands together once. Then he abruptly turned and left the room.

 

Darcy and Steve blinked in shock and looked at each other before turning back to the screen.

 

“Pepper?” Darcy asked.

 

Pepper’s head swiveled from Darcy to the door and back. “Uh, one moment. I’ll go check on him,” she assured as she walked to the door. Before she made it, Tony walked back in with his focus on the tablet he carried. “Tony?” she asked with a perplexed expression.

 

Tony spoke without looking up. “Pepper, call the renovators,” he instructed in a no-nonsense tone. “Steve’s quarters are way too small to accommodate Darcy and the kids. In fact, I think we just need to add a whole new wing. Oh! And we can make it so Barton’s family can live there too. Really, I should have done that a year ago. Make room for Lang’s kid, too. Actually, let’s just make it a whole family wing with a play area in the center. It can be several stories with extra family size apartments so that if anyone else decides to reproduce, there’s space available.”

 

During this whole speech, the heroes kept exchanging glances with one another, silently asking if Tony was serious about this while he continued on making plans.

 

“We can have the most advanced Stark tech installed in everything, from the floors to the ceilings with automated doors and windows that can be programmed to not let the kiddies into dangerous areas...I need to update the security protocols. Friday, I hope you’re making notes.”

 

“Got it, Boss,” came the Irish lilt.

 

“We need to go shopping, too,” Tony said as he rubbed his chin, ignoring the sputtering from Pepper as well as Steve, Darcy, Clint, and Scott. It was, after all, their families Tony was making all these plans for. “Playsets, jungle gyms, treehouse, sports field, the whole nine yards. Friday, make sure it’s all made of the safest materials available. Can’t have the kids get hurt. Oh, and set aside an area meant for babies two and under.”

 

Tony suddenly gasped, his eyes wide.

 

“What?” Pepper asked, the others echoing her.

 

Tony clutched his head in panic. “There are going to be babies here! Friday! Call the very best baby-proofing company in the world.”

 

Rhodey coughed. “What? Tony, you can’t be serious.”

 

Tony whirled around to glare at Rhodey. “Of course I am!” He waved his arms around. “Do you know how much dangerous shit we have lying around here? I have to completely cut-off the labs, Avengers conference rooms and gyms, and baby-proof the kitchens, living areas, the bathrooms-”

 

“The bathrooms?” interrupted Rhodey again. “Tony,” he said with a stern look, “I can understand the cabinets under the sinks, but you are not allowed to baby-proof the toilets.”

 

Tony pointed at him accusingly. “Toilets are dangerous!” he affirmed. “The kid could lean over, fall in, and drown.”

 

“Tony. No.”

 

Tony jutted out his chin and said in a quiet, but firm voice, “I’m baby-proofing the toilets.”

 

Rhodey groaned.

 

“We need so much stuff,” Tony continued as he started to pace. “Clothes, cribs, changing tables, bouncy chairs, play areas, toys-”

 

“Tony!” Darcy yelled, getting his attention. “You don’t need to buy that stuff. We already have most of it. It’ll be fine.”

 

Tony waved her off. “I know I don’t _need_ to, but I’m going to anyway. It’s the least I could do,” he added in an undertone.

 

Darcy huffed. “ _Tony._ ” She tilted her head and gave him doe eyes. “I don’t want you to do this to try to make up for anything. You don’t have anything to make up for. You made a mistake. _I forgive you.”_

 

Steve stepped up next to her. “ _We_ forgive you.”

 

“You don’t have to buy us stuff to say sorry,” Darcy said. “You don’t have to buy us stuff to get us to stay either. We’re family. We _want_ to be around you. All we want is your company, as manic as it is at times.”

 

Tony pressed his lips tightly together. He finally muttered, “I know, but this isn’t that, Darcy. It’s not guilt or bribery. I just...I want to do this because I want you to have the very best. I want your kids to have the best. Please let me do this.”

 

Darcy’s expression softened as she gave him a gentle smile. “Okay.”

 

Tony’s eyes brightened and he beamed at her. “Great!” he exclaimed in his normally boisterous voice. “In that case, I’ll make sure the renovations are done within ten days. And don’t worry about buying the kids furniture or toys or anything. I can make all that in much better quality than anything you can find in the store.”

 

Darcy’s smile dropped from her face and Steve’s eyes went wide.

 

“Wait,” Steve asked. “You’re going to make things for our kids?” he asked as he passed his son off to Natasha blindly, knowing she had a hold of him.

 

Tony gave him a look that clearly stated, _Duh_. “Duh,” he said as he started walking away with his focus back on the tablet. “Friday, order me some more polyolefin. I’m gonna create the softest baby blankets in the universe that will always keep the mini-Darcys and mini-Steves warm.”

 

The parents smiled at the sweet gesture for a moment before the smiles immediately dropped from their faces.

 

“Oh, and start isolating protocols for safety requirements on cribs and whatnot. I’m thinking inconel* for the frames with retractable panels that could encase them completely in case of an attack with built in defensive lasers and repulsors.”

 

Darcy gasped in fear. “No!”

 

“Tony!” Steve shouted while waving his hands. “No. No! Thank you but no! That’s not necessary.”

 

“I know.” Tony grinned. “Your welcome. Now, if I power it all with an arc reactor I should be able to make the air filtration system last two full days,” he said more to himself as he nodded. “Don’t worry guys,” he said happily. “I’ll take care of everything!” Tony shouted as he ran from the room.

 

“Oh no,” whispered Steve with wide eyes.

 

Darcy held her hands up to her cheeks. “Oh Thor! Helpful Tony is sometimes more dangerous than _un_ helpful Tony. Rhodey!” she shouted. “You have to stop him!”

 

Rhodey looked at her with a gaping mouth in his confusion over Tony’s enthusiastic response of making weaponized baby and toddler equipment. “I’ll try,” he said, limping after the billionaire. “But, you know how he can be.”

 

“Please,” Darcy begged in a frantic hiss. “Just make sure he doesn’t create an Iron Baby suit.”

 

“I’m afraid, Mrs. Rogers,” interrupted Friday. “That boss has already started drawing up designs.”

 

Pepper sighed and blandly looked at Darcy and Steve. “Don’t worry. I can still cash in some of Tony’s I.O.U’s. It’ll be fine.”

 

Darcy whimpered.

 

Steve moved in front of her and rubbed her shoulders. “Hey, breathe. If it comes to it, can’t you just pull out your blackmail files?”

 

Darcy blinked and her breathing immediately even out. “Oh yeah,” she said. “Tony will do anything to keep the video of him sprinting to the bathroom when he “accidentally” ate laxatives and nearly shit his pants from going on youtube.”

 

Steve smiled broadly and puffed out his chest. “I knew that would come in handy one day.”

 

Sam gaped at him. “Wait a minute. _That was you?!_ ”

 

Darcy snorted and pulled Coul into her arms. Steve smirked at Sam and turned away whistling innocently.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Malen’kaya koroleva means "Little queen" in Russian
> 
> *Inconel is one of the top ten strongest metals on earth, and can retain it's strength in extreme conditions, which is why it's used in nuclear reactors.

**Author's Note:**

> Remember, please be kind with your comments. :)


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